Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ and I'm not making any money from this.
Chapter 19: You're Getting There.
~~~
September 19th [Just] (Trunks)
~~~
"So...?" Kate asked, folding her arms. "You up for round two, Trunks?"
I didn't answer her, just studied her face for a while. The way her lips were curved upwards slightly in a faint smile. The way her eyes searched mine expectantly. The way tendrils of her silky hair blew softly in the cold breeze. No doubt about it, Kate was pretty. She was a good lay. I liked her forward attitude, the surreptitious smile she flashed my way whenever she saw me, and how she shared my way of thinking. And I wanted to have her, then, to lose myself in her and just forget about my screwed up excuse for a life for a few fleeting seconds. But...there was just that one thing missing.
She wasn't Marron.
And that was why I smiled sadly at her and shook my head.
"I can't."
Kate didn't look too surprised, though, and her smile never faltered.
"I think I knew that was coming. So, who is she?"
"Who?"
"The girl who's got you whipped."
A mental image of S&M Marron flashed up in my mind, and I couldn't help the childish smirk that found its way onto my lips.
"Doesn't matter." I replied
"Why not?"
"Because she doesn't feel the same."
~~~~
(Marron)
I don't know how long I stood there, staring at the open door, Trunks' jacket clutched in my hands, thoughts whirling, but it was quite a while. I should have followed him, I know that, but I couldn't. It was as though someone had cemented my feet to the ground, and no matter how hard I tried to will myself to move, I just couldn't.
Why didn't I say anything? Why did I just stand there like an idiot after my best friend had just poured his heart out to me? I could have said something, done something, reached out and pulled him into my arms, anything, but I didn't. And now I'm stuck here, left alone with my thoughts and wondering how I can sort all this out.
I did want to say something. I wanted to tell him I felt the same way, too, that the crush I told him I had on him when I was a teenager was still there, but more so. It wasn't a crush now, I had taken him off the pedestal I'd put him on back then. Back then he was Sir Trunks Briefs, my knight in shining armour, the man of my dreams who always came to rescue me from danger, who I loved unconditionally, who could do no wrong. Now, things are different. I know what he can do, I know he screws around when he's depressed, I know he's far from perfect, and I know he isn't noble and fearless. I didn't know he loved me.
I didn't know.
Looking back, everything seemed to slip into place. God, he tried to tell me so many times. I never realised what he was trying to say. I never imagined he would have deep feelings for me. It just never occurred to me at all. I mean, come on, this is Trunks we're talking about. He could have any girl he wanted, why would he want me?
But that's what he said, isn't it? This realisation seemed to awaken me from the frozen trance I was in, and my eyes widened.
"Trunks!" I yelled, scrambling out of the door and into the hallway. "Trunks!"
I raced down the corridor, bursting through the double exit doors, not caring that I nearly knocked some guy on the other side of them spark out, not caring that it was freezing and I wasn't wearing any socks or shoes, not caring about anything except him. I looked around the street, ignoring how the wind whipped my hair, lifting it to fly around my face and obscure my vision. He wasn't around. Which way could he have gone? I had to find him, had to tell him that I was sorry. I was just shocked, too shocked to speak, I couldn't help it. I had to tell him.
"Marron."
Uubu's voice floated over to me through the cold night air, and I started, turning around to face him. He was leaning against the wall of my apartment block, expressionless.
"Uub...I'm..."
He took a deep breath, pushing away from the wall and walking closer to me.
"Looking for Trunks?" he asked carefully.
I stared at him, taken aback. How long had he been there? Had he heard our conversation? I couldn't find the words to ask him, though, and it didn't look like he was in a talkative mood to begin with. So I just stared in wonder as he raised one arm, pointing in the direction of the town square.
"He went that way."
I tried to open my mouth, to thank him, to say something at least, but the expression of reproach on his face silenced me. He brought his hand to cup my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. And then he kissed me. His lips were soft against mine, and it wasn't a passionate kiss, more bittersweet and gentle. Like a goodbye kiss, that last kiss before two lovers part ways forever.
Except we weren't lovers.
I'd hurt his feelings, I knew, but I never meant to. Only one date and I'd already broken things off. What kind of person does something like that? I tried to make up for it, pressing my body against his and deepening the kiss, and for a moment I felt him relax, but then the moment was shattered and he pulled away from me, eyes holding such an expression of sadness that for a moment I wondered if I was in love with the wrong man.
"Hurry and you might catch up to him before he does some damn fool thing."
Then he broke free from my embrace and left me there, standing on the sidewalk alone, shivering in the coldness of the night. I watched him go, mixed feelings swirling in my head. But then as I thought of Trunks, how he had poured out his true feelings to me, how my heart had leapt into my throat, how I'd longed for him before and still did now, and I knew that I'd never be able to give my heart to another. And so I set off in the direction of the square, pulling Trunks' jacket around my shoulders and trying to sort out in my head exactly what I was going to say to him.
~~~
(Trunks)
"How do you know she doesn't feel the same?" Kate asked me.
"I dunno. Just call it intuition."
"That's a woman's thing." She chuckled. "Unless there's something you're not telling me, Trunks?"
I laughed too, but my laughter sounded bitter, hollow. I could feel my mood sinking lower and lower as I thought about all the possible outcomes of the situation. I shouldn't have told her. I'm too weak, just like dad's always telling me. I let my emotions get the better of me and ruined the friendship most precious to me. I was a fool to think any good would come of telling her, but somewhere, in the back of my mind, when I was blurting out my feelings, there was a little flame of hope burning. Now it had all but gone out. She would have followed me, wouldn't she? Of course, now, she probably just wanted to avoid me. I know the tactics. I've done it myself. All the time back in my high school and college days. I broke girl's hearts, and I didn't care. All I wanted was one quick lay, their feelings never mattered to me. I know it sounds arrogant, saying I was a heartbreaker, as that's implying that someone actually cared enough about me to be crushed when I blanked them the morning after, but I saw it myself.
Maybe this was what I deserved.
"Trunks, I'm guessing you wanna be alone, right?" Kate's voice broke through my train of thought. I turned to face her and nodded offhandedly. She smiled, and for a moment I wondered whether she knew just how much I felt she understood me. But then she turned and started to walk away, leaving me by myself.
I walked over to the fountain in the centre of the square and leaned on the wall surrounding it. When I was a kid, my mom used to take me with her when she went shopping, and we'd always sit on the fountain wall and just watch the water. It used to relax me, uplift my mood. It did nothing this time, except make me wish I was a kid again and I didn't have all these feelings inside. I stared into the spray, wondering how everything had turned out so messed up. You know, people in love always say that it's beautiful, don't they? What a bunch of ignorant fucks they are. Love's only beautiful if it's requited. Goten and Paresu have that sort of love. I don't.
"I wish I was an ignorant fuck." I told the fountain. Oddly enough, I got no reply. Then all of a sudden, the breeze carried a familiar scent towards me, and two delicate arms curled around my waist. I knew it was her without even having to turn around. I always knew when it was her. She rested her cheek against my back, sighing softly.
"You're getting there." She murmured.
~~~~
A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for me to get the chapter out, but hey, you know how things are. And I know the tone of this chapter is a change from normal, Trunks' thoughts probably aren't as entertaining as before, but...I dunno, I guess I'm just not feeling like myself lately. I've found myself sinking into a sort of depression lately. I know that sounds cliché and pretentious, but I just feel like I've got nothing to offer and there's no point to anything any more.
Jeez, listen to me. I hope I haven't depressed anyone else with my comments. Heh, I'm sure I'll feel better in a week or two. Well as always, thanks so much to my reviewers, and don't forget to tell me what you thought of this chapter.
Aerith
Chapter 19: You're Getting There.
~~~
September 19th [Just] (Trunks)
~~~
"So...?" Kate asked, folding her arms. "You up for round two, Trunks?"
I didn't answer her, just studied her face for a while. The way her lips were curved upwards slightly in a faint smile. The way her eyes searched mine expectantly. The way tendrils of her silky hair blew softly in the cold breeze. No doubt about it, Kate was pretty. She was a good lay. I liked her forward attitude, the surreptitious smile she flashed my way whenever she saw me, and how she shared my way of thinking. And I wanted to have her, then, to lose myself in her and just forget about my screwed up excuse for a life for a few fleeting seconds. But...there was just that one thing missing.
She wasn't Marron.
And that was why I smiled sadly at her and shook my head.
"I can't."
Kate didn't look too surprised, though, and her smile never faltered.
"I think I knew that was coming. So, who is she?"
"Who?"
"The girl who's got you whipped."
A mental image of S&M Marron flashed up in my mind, and I couldn't help the childish smirk that found its way onto my lips.
"Doesn't matter." I replied
"Why not?"
"Because she doesn't feel the same."
~~~~
(Marron)
I don't know how long I stood there, staring at the open door, Trunks' jacket clutched in my hands, thoughts whirling, but it was quite a while. I should have followed him, I know that, but I couldn't. It was as though someone had cemented my feet to the ground, and no matter how hard I tried to will myself to move, I just couldn't.
Why didn't I say anything? Why did I just stand there like an idiot after my best friend had just poured his heart out to me? I could have said something, done something, reached out and pulled him into my arms, anything, but I didn't. And now I'm stuck here, left alone with my thoughts and wondering how I can sort all this out.
I did want to say something. I wanted to tell him I felt the same way, too, that the crush I told him I had on him when I was a teenager was still there, but more so. It wasn't a crush now, I had taken him off the pedestal I'd put him on back then. Back then he was Sir Trunks Briefs, my knight in shining armour, the man of my dreams who always came to rescue me from danger, who I loved unconditionally, who could do no wrong. Now, things are different. I know what he can do, I know he screws around when he's depressed, I know he's far from perfect, and I know he isn't noble and fearless. I didn't know he loved me.
I didn't know.
Looking back, everything seemed to slip into place. God, he tried to tell me so many times. I never realised what he was trying to say. I never imagined he would have deep feelings for me. It just never occurred to me at all. I mean, come on, this is Trunks we're talking about. He could have any girl he wanted, why would he want me?
But that's what he said, isn't it? This realisation seemed to awaken me from the frozen trance I was in, and my eyes widened.
"Trunks!" I yelled, scrambling out of the door and into the hallway. "Trunks!"
I raced down the corridor, bursting through the double exit doors, not caring that I nearly knocked some guy on the other side of them spark out, not caring that it was freezing and I wasn't wearing any socks or shoes, not caring about anything except him. I looked around the street, ignoring how the wind whipped my hair, lifting it to fly around my face and obscure my vision. He wasn't around. Which way could he have gone? I had to find him, had to tell him that I was sorry. I was just shocked, too shocked to speak, I couldn't help it. I had to tell him.
"Marron."
Uubu's voice floated over to me through the cold night air, and I started, turning around to face him. He was leaning against the wall of my apartment block, expressionless.
"Uub...I'm..."
He took a deep breath, pushing away from the wall and walking closer to me.
"Looking for Trunks?" he asked carefully.
I stared at him, taken aback. How long had he been there? Had he heard our conversation? I couldn't find the words to ask him, though, and it didn't look like he was in a talkative mood to begin with. So I just stared in wonder as he raised one arm, pointing in the direction of the town square.
"He went that way."
I tried to open my mouth, to thank him, to say something at least, but the expression of reproach on his face silenced me. He brought his hand to cup my chin, tilting my head up to look at him. And then he kissed me. His lips were soft against mine, and it wasn't a passionate kiss, more bittersweet and gentle. Like a goodbye kiss, that last kiss before two lovers part ways forever.
Except we weren't lovers.
I'd hurt his feelings, I knew, but I never meant to. Only one date and I'd already broken things off. What kind of person does something like that? I tried to make up for it, pressing my body against his and deepening the kiss, and for a moment I felt him relax, but then the moment was shattered and he pulled away from me, eyes holding such an expression of sadness that for a moment I wondered if I was in love with the wrong man.
"Hurry and you might catch up to him before he does some damn fool thing."
Then he broke free from my embrace and left me there, standing on the sidewalk alone, shivering in the coldness of the night. I watched him go, mixed feelings swirling in my head. But then as I thought of Trunks, how he had poured out his true feelings to me, how my heart had leapt into my throat, how I'd longed for him before and still did now, and I knew that I'd never be able to give my heart to another. And so I set off in the direction of the square, pulling Trunks' jacket around my shoulders and trying to sort out in my head exactly what I was going to say to him.
~~~
(Trunks)
"How do you know she doesn't feel the same?" Kate asked me.
"I dunno. Just call it intuition."
"That's a woman's thing." She chuckled. "Unless there's something you're not telling me, Trunks?"
I laughed too, but my laughter sounded bitter, hollow. I could feel my mood sinking lower and lower as I thought about all the possible outcomes of the situation. I shouldn't have told her. I'm too weak, just like dad's always telling me. I let my emotions get the better of me and ruined the friendship most precious to me. I was a fool to think any good would come of telling her, but somewhere, in the back of my mind, when I was blurting out my feelings, there was a little flame of hope burning. Now it had all but gone out. She would have followed me, wouldn't she? Of course, now, she probably just wanted to avoid me. I know the tactics. I've done it myself. All the time back in my high school and college days. I broke girl's hearts, and I didn't care. All I wanted was one quick lay, their feelings never mattered to me. I know it sounds arrogant, saying I was a heartbreaker, as that's implying that someone actually cared enough about me to be crushed when I blanked them the morning after, but I saw it myself.
Maybe this was what I deserved.
"Trunks, I'm guessing you wanna be alone, right?" Kate's voice broke through my train of thought. I turned to face her and nodded offhandedly. She smiled, and for a moment I wondered whether she knew just how much I felt she understood me. But then she turned and started to walk away, leaving me by myself.
I walked over to the fountain in the centre of the square and leaned on the wall surrounding it. When I was a kid, my mom used to take me with her when she went shopping, and we'd always sit on the fountain wall and just watch the water. It used to relax me, uplift my mood. It did nothing this time, except make me wish I was a kid again and I didn't have all these feelings inside. I stared into the spray, wondering how everything had turned out so messed up. You know, people in love always say that it's beautiful, don't they? What a bunch of ignorant fucks they are. Love's only beautiful if it's requited. Goten and Paresu have that sort of love. I don't.
"I wish I was an ignorant fuck." I told the fountain. Oddly enough, I got no reply. Then all of a sudden, the breeze carried a familiar scent towards me, and two delicate arms curled around my waist. I knew it was her without even having to turn around. I always knew when it was her. She rested her cheek against my back, sighing softly.
"You're getting there." She murmured.
~~~~
A/N: I'm sorry it took so long for me to get the chapter out, but hey, you know how things are. And I know the tone of this chapter is a change from normal, Trunks' thoughts probably aren't as entertaining as before, but...I dunno, I guess I'm just not feeling like myself lately. I've found myself sinking into a sort of depression lately. I know that sounds cliché and pretentious, but I just feel like I've got nothing to offer and there's no point to anything any more.
Jeez, listen to me. I hope I haven't depressed anyone else with my comments. Heh, I'm sure I'll feel better in a week or two. Well as always, thanks so much to my reviewers, and don't forget to tell me what you thought of this chapter.
Aerith