Miscellaneous Hilarious Crap 1
(Plunk!)
Hunter: OW!
(Plunk!)
Hunter: OW!! Damn it!
DA Cerrita: No, I can get closer.
(Plunk!)
Randy: OWW!!! Hey, be careful! I need that thing!
DA Phoenix: Um, no you don't. (pulls out the dull, rusty hacksaw. Like Scarface) Say 'ello to my leetle friend!
Randy: AHHH!! NO!!
Ric: (stoned) NO!! I need that thing too, dude.
(Loooooooooooooong pause)
Taker: Wait a minute. (throws dart. Ric starts laughing) ALL RIGHT!!! Who gave the old fart the joint???
DA Phoenix: ROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob: What, dude? (holding a baby rattler) It's not my fault! He took it right out of my hand!
DA Cerrita: Whatever. Kinda hard since his hands are TIED!!!
Rob: Alright! Don't hurt me! I just couldn't let him not experience the joys of- (Taker hits him, and Rob flies across the room.) Owie.
DA Phoenix: (looks at the darts in her hands.) Now this just isn't fun anymore, because of ROB! (throws the darts all a once. Several thuds are heard and Hunter screams)
Hunter: MY EYE BALL!!!
~*`*~*`*~
(Rock struts down the hall, giving the People's Eyebrow to everyone. He walks up to the GM's office, about to knock when he sees a tray lying on the floor, several strudels scattered around.)
Rock: Now which Jabroni went and left thirteen perfectly good strudels lying on the floor?
(He kneels down and gathers them all up, meticulously arranging them with perfection on the tray. He dust some dirt off a few, and gently pushes some into place.)
Rock: There, perfect! (grabs one and savagely munches on it) Yum, yum! (takes the tray and walks off)
~*`*~*`*~
(Trish and Lance are standing backstage, right before his match. He's wearing a Jericho hockey jersey)
Trish: Now, remember to keep this shirt on at all times, so nobody sees it. (smooches Lance)
Lance: 'K! (Goes out to his match with Spanky)
(They wrestle for a while, Lance is not boring, but he's being a little to protective of The Shirt.)
Spanky: Why do you have to wear that thing for the match? (knocks Lance on his butt)
Lance: 'Cause I want to! (clothesline)
Spanky: Just take it off! (dropkick)
Lance: No! (punch, DDT)
Spanky: That's it! (grabs the front of the shirt and rips it off. Everyone gasps and goes silent.)
King: Why is Lance wearing a bra? He has no puppies!
JR: Um, hell if I know.
King: What's going on?
JR: I don't know, but it looks like Spanky just fell over... dead?
King: Well, Lance is going for the pin with that abomination to the Puppy Race strapped to his chest!
JR: (looks scared) Riiiiiiiight.
King: He got it, Lance won!
(Jericho enters, approaches the announcers table to sit down. JR grabs his arm and pulls him to the middle chair)
JR. Sit.
King: Glad to have you commentating with us Chris.
Jericho: Yeah, thanks.
King: Good to have someone out here with as much Puppy respect as me!
Jericho: Agreed.
JR: (sigh) This is gonna be a long show.
(backstage. Stacy is standing around with Steiner, waiting for Test, their 'legal master'.)
Stacy: I hate him so much! I just know he's going to call me a bitch and a slut again!
Steiner: Don't worry. I'll kick his ass if he does.
(Test enters. Instead of his usual attire, he's now dressed as a Colonial Quaker. He's holding a little bible, and his hair is slicked back. All of his jewelry is gone, and is wearing only a little cross necklace. There is a very LONG silent moment between them. Stacy and Steiner look scared)
Test: (points to Stacy's hair) That is a sin! (her blouse) That is a sin! (her skirt) That is a sin! (her shoes) That is a sin! (Steiner's arms) That is a sin! (his shirt) That is a sin! (his hair) That is a sin! (the lights overhead) That is a sin! (the camera) That is a sin! (the camera guy's earrings) That is a sin! (the camera guy in general) That is a sin!
(Rock walks by, happily munching on a strudel)
Test: (points to Rock) That is a sin! (to the strudels) That is a sin!
Rock: (looks scared) What in the Blue Hell?
Test: (holds up the little bible) This is NOT a sin!
Stacy: Hey, you actually said something different.
Test: (points to Stacy) That is a sin! (Rock sets the strudel tray down, breaks one in half, and sticks one half in Test's pointing hand. Test just stares at it.)
Rock: (munches the second half.) Yummy. (walks off with the tray)
Test: (staring in horror at the strudel) it is a sin. It is a sin. It IS a sin. It is a sin! IT IS A SIN! IT IS A SIN! (holds the strudel up to the sky. He drops it and grabs Stacy's shoulders.) IT IS A SIN!!! (she drops dead. He turns to Steiner and does the same thing) IT IS A SIN!!! (Steiner drops dead. Test looks skyward.) I AM A SIN!!! (walks off)
~*`*~*`*~
(The scene is a campsite. Maven and Al Snow are roasting Armageddon Marshmallows over the fire. A box of God Chex is between them, and they're happily munching.)
God: IT'S ME! (gets teary eyed) I'd like to thank the Academy for this! Thank you Mom! Thank you Dad! (turns to DA's) Thank you, girls!
DA Cerrita: Fol- God, you didn't win anything.
God: (thinks) Damn!
DA Phoenix: Back to Maven and (reluctantly) The Snowman.
Maven: Hey, Snow. Whatever happened to Head?
Al: Well, she wanted to pursue a career in modeling, and we parted ways. I sometimes get phone calls from her, but we haven't talked in a long time. Sometimes, though, I still hear her voice.
(A deep growl fills the air)
Maven: (scared) What was that?
Al: Oh, it's probably Head. (gets up and yells for her.) HEAD!!!
(Suddenly, a giant grizzly bear steps out in front of Maven.)
Maven: Snow? (calls louder) Snow! (louder) SNOW!!!
AL: WHAT??
Maven: That wasn't Head.
(Al turns around to yell back, but see's the bear and freaks out.)
Al: AHHHHHHH! RUN!!!!!!
(The two take off a top speed, the bear close behind and gaining. Just as Maven gets a lead, he suddenly trips over Al's outstretched foot. Snowman laughs and keeps going, climbing a very large tree. Maven is getting mauled while Snowman yells.)
Al: HA! I got away! AND THERE'S NOTHING GOD CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!
God: Oh, really? (a bright flash of light as lightning strikes the tree. Al's still sitting there, his body charred.)
Al: Ow. (he falls out of the tree, dead, waking up in Hell.)
Taker: (gothlike) Welcome to MY yard! (happily) Have some Undertaker Top Ramon!
Al: Oh, shit!
~*`*~*`*~
(The scene is the GM's office. Steve is stroking Eric's hair, who's rocking back and forth, knees pulled up to his chest.)
Steve: How the Hell did this happen?
Eric: (childish) Stevie!
Steve: You're a Goddamn kid again! How do you explain this?
Eric: (blowing snot bubble)
Steve: Exactly!
~*`*~*`*~
(scene is Hurricane's locker room. Rosey has dumped him unceremoniously on the couch, trying to wake him.)
Rosey: Damn it! You can't die on me! I love you to much! And I haven't even learned to fly yet!!!
(suddenly, under the door is illuminated by a bright white light that flows into the room and takes the shape of a Heavenly figure)
Rosey: NO!!! Hurricane!!! Your spirit, don't leave me!!! (wails into his hands)
Heavenly Figure: No, I am not Hurricane, I am the Divine Son of God.
God: (thinking) Funny, I don't remember that.
Heavenly Figure: (walks over to Hurricane, puts his hands on his forehead) Arise... damn, what was your name again?... Arise little dude!
Rosey: Rob? (looks up, but the Heavenly figure is gone) I am blessed! (flies around the room)
Hurricane: (holds his head) What a hangover. (looks at Rosey) What happened?
Rosey: I tried to save you from those poisoned strudels, but I was to late, so an angel I'm guessing was Rob brought you back from the dead!
Hurricane: WHAT??? I was never dead! Just... sleeping because of those strudels. (pause) Strudels... (whimper. Gets up) Where are they? I can't let some innocent passer by find them! (flies out)
Rosey: Wait for me! (runs into the wall) Ow.
~*`*~*`*~
(Christian's locker room. Benoit and Jericho are with him, and all of them are eating Super Chrises Mac'n'Cheese.)
Christian: Are you two listening to me?
Benoit: Not really.
Christian: I'm trying to tell you how I won this title from Booker. Listen Damn it!
Jericho: Maybe later, or, never.
Benoit: Anyway- Wasn't it great when I ripped Shaniqua in half?
Jericho: It was the awsomist thing I'd ever seen! (they high five)
Christian: EXCUSE ME! Intercontinental Champion OVER HERE!!! Edge and I used to be that close... (cries) I miss him so.
Benoit: Whatever.
(Suddenly, the room fills with bright white light, and the Heavenly Figure enters. Christian looks at him in awe.)
Christian: Edge!?!
Edge: Bro! How the Hell's it hangin', dude? Ever since I left, you've totally reaked of boringness. Yet you have the Championship. MY Championship.
Christian: But your-
Edge: Jesus? Yeah, isn't it cool?
Christian: I wanna be powerful!
Edge: Well, you can't because you suck. And you USED to be my little brother.
Christian: Your disowning me?
Edge: Pretty much, yeah.
Christian: (whining, crying) But I don't wanna be disowned!
Jericho: To bad, you whiny baby!
Benoit: So, how long have you been Jesus?
Edge: Ever since the last one retired and bought a home in the Bahamas. So, about six months.
(Suddenly, God, the DA's, Spanky, Stacy, and Steiner enter the room. Steiner is wearing a 1920's style tux and a curly mustache.)
God: (as Mel Brooks) 'Ello, boy-es!
DA Phoenix: Hi, Chris! (flirts)
Benoit: Dude, which one is she talking to?
Jericho: Me, defiantly me.
Benoit: But she's looking at me!
Jericho: No, she's looking at me!
Benoit: No, it's me. Do you want me to kick your ass to prove it?
Jericho: Ah, finally the Benoit I used to know.
Edge: Dudes, She's looking at Jericho, the other one is looking at you! (points to Benoit)
Jericho: HA!
Benoit: Which 'she' are we talking about again?
Christian: The hot one. (both DA's smack him) OW! What was that for?
DA Cerrita: Because we hate you in general.
DA Phoenix: And your not nearly as hot as Jericho (sits next to him and leans her head on his shoulder. He has an unnaturally large smile)
(Benoit looks at DA Cerrita, she stares back. They keep staring at each other for several minutes. Suddenly, Kurt walks into the room. Benoit looks at him and instantly morphs into a Wolverine.)
Kurt: What the hell is that? (points to Benoit, who chases him out of the room into the hall. Suddenly a blood curdling scream is heard) MY LEG!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU BIT MY LEG OFF!!!
(Benoit enters a few moments later, still as a wolverine, blood dripping from his mouth. He sits next to DA Cerrita.)
DA Cerrita: Awww, that's a good wolverine. (pets his head. He purrs)
Jericho: But wolverines don't purr. (Benoit growls at him.) Ok, I guess they do.
(Cerrita pours a little bit of her sobe into her hand, and Benoit licks it out.)
Cerrita: Ah, how cute! (he finishes the sobe and curls up in a ball on the couch, falling asleep.)
Jericho: Damn it, he's to fat! (trying to push Benoit out of the way so he can sit down.) Damn, it's not working! (Cerrita changes Benoit back into a human again, and he's still curled up.)
God: What did he do to Kurt?
Edge: I'm guessing, by the screaming, Kurt lost his leg.
DA Phoenix: Poor soldier. But who cares?
Spanky: Should we go put him out of his misery?
God: No, we'd better fix him. (looks at Spanky and Stacy) You two go.
Stacy: But I HATE Kurt, he's always talking about those stupid medals. Like anyone really, like, cares.
God: (big, scary voice) GO!
Spanky: Ok! (grabs Stacy's arm and they exit)
Jericho: Dude, what's up with them?
Christian: Yeah, I heard they both died.
Edge: Yeah, well, Spanky is my new brother, and Stacy's my sister. Jerry and Janet. We're the Christ Family!!!
Christian: WHAT!? That sparkly, chocolate syrup-eating moron from Washington has replaced me?
DA Cerrita: Now he's gone to far.
DA Phoenix: That's it, do we fry him?
DA Cerrita: Let me. (she points to Christian, who flashes with light and he instantly disappears, with only the IC belt laying on the floor.)
~*`*~*`*~
(Hell)
Christian: Where am I?
Undertaker: Oh, this is gonna be fun!
~*`*~*`*~
(Back at the locker room)
Jericho: Alright, that explains Legs and Sparkles, but what about Freakzilla over there?
Steiner: (with Russian accent) My name is Stalin, Joseph Stalin! Pleased to meet you!
Jericho: But, weren't you evil and stuff?
Steiner: Not that I recall. (looks at God, who shrugs. Stacy and Spanky come back in. Stacy's holding a pair of scissors and a red, white, and blue piece of ribbon. Kurt's weeping outside.)
Stacy: (leaning real close to Jericho) Don't give him any ideas!
God: Well, we have to get going. Heaven won't run itself.
Spanky: But Socko was doing a good job when we left.
God: Yeah, but you know how he is when he sees a pair of spandex. Besides, I miss being in charge of something. See you four later! (waves as the Christs and God disappear)
DA Phoenix: (looking around) What now?
Jericho: I know! (starts making out with her)
Benoit: (wakes up) What happened?
DA Cerrita: Shut up and cuddle.
.
~*`*~*`*~
.
To Be Continued!
(Plunk!)
Hunter: OW!
(Plunk!)
Hunter: OW!! Damn it!
DA Cerrita: No, I can get closer.
(Plunk!)
Randy: OWW!!! Hey, be careful! I need that thing!
DA Phoenix: Um, no you don't. (pulls out the dull, rusty hacksaw. Like Scarface) Say 'ello to my leetle friend!
Randy: AHHH!! NO!!
Ric: (stoned) NO!! I need that thing too, dude.
(Loooooooooooooong pause)
Taker: Wait a minute. (throws dart. Ric starts laughing) ALL RIGHT!!! Who gave the old fart the joint???
DA Phoenix: ROB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rob: What, dude? (holding a baby rattler) It's not my fault! He took it right out of my hand!
DA Cerrita: Whatever. Kinda hard since his hands are TIED!!!
Rob: Alright! Don't hurt me! I just couldn't let him not experience the joys of- (Taker hits him, and Rob flies across the room.) Owie.
DA Phoenix: (looks at the darts in her hands.) Now this just isn't fun anymore, because of ROB! (throws the darts all a once. Several thuds are heard and Hunter screams)
Hunter: MY EYE BALL!!!
~*`*~*`*~
(Rock struts down the hall, giving the People's Eyebrow to everyone. He walks up to the GM's office, about to knock when he sees a tray lying on the floor, several strudels scattered around.)
Rock: Now which Jabroni went and left thirteen perfectly good strudels lying on the floor?
(He kneels down and gathers them all up, meticulously arranging them with perfection on the tray. He dust some dirt off a few, and gently pushes some into place.)
Rock: There, perfect! (grabs one and savagely munches on it) Yum, yum! (takes the tray and walks off)
~*`*~*`*~
(Trish and Lance are standing backstage, right before his match. He's wearing a Jericho hockey jersey)
Trish: Now, remember to keep this shirt on at all times, so nobody sees it. (smooches Lance)
Lance: 'K! (Goes out to his match with Spanky)
(They wrestle for a while, Lance is not boring, but he's being a little to protective of The Shirt.)
Spanky: Why do you have to wear that thing for the match? (knocks Lance on his butt)
Lance: 'Cause I want to! (clothesline)
Spanky: Just take it off! (dropkick)
Lance: No! (punch, DDT)
Spanky: That's it! (grabs the front of the shirt and rips it off. Everyone gasps and goes silent.)
King: Why is Lance wearing a bra? He has no puppies!
JR: Um, hell if I know.
King: What's going on?
JR: I don't know, but it looks like Spanky just fell over... dead?
King: Well, Lance is going for the pin with that abomination to the Puppy Race strapped to his chest!
JR: (looks scared) Riiiiiiiight.
King: He got it, Lance won!
(Jericho enters, approaches the announcers table to sit down. JR grabs his arm and pulls him to the middle chair)
JR. Sit.
King: Glad to have you commentating with us Chris.
Jericho: Yeah, thanks.
King: Good to have someone out here with as much Puppy respect as me!
Jericho: Agreed.
JR: (sigh) This is gonna be a long show.
(backstage. Stacy is standing around with Steiner, waiting for Test, their 'legal master'.)
Stacy: I hate him so much! I just know he's going to call me a bitch and a slut again!
Steiner: Don't worry. I'll kick his ass if he does.
(Test enters. Instead of his usual attire, he's now dressed as a Colonial Quaker. He's holding a little bible, and his hair is slicked back. All of his jewelry is gone, and is wearing only a little cross necklace. There is a very LONG silent moment between them. Stacy and Steiner look scared)
Test: (points to Stacy's hair) That is a sin! (her blouse) That is a sin! (her skirt) That is a sin! (her shoes) That is a sin! (Steiner's arms) That is a sin! (his shirt) That is a sin! (his hair) That is a sin! (the lights overhead) That is a sin! (the camera) That is a sin! (the camera guy's earrings) That is a sin! (the camera guy in general) That is a sin!
(Rock walks by, happily munching on a strudel)
Test: (points to Rock) That is a sin! (to the strudels) That is a sin!
Rock: (looks scared) What in the Blue Hell?
Test: (holds up the little bible) This is NOT a sin!
Stacy: Hey, you actually said something different.
Test: (points to Stacy) That is a sin! (Rock sets the strudel tray down, breaks one in half, and sticks one half in Test's pointing hand. Test just stares at it.)
Rock: (munches the second half.) Yummy. (walks off with the tray)
Test: (staring in horror at the strudel) it is a sin. It is a sin. It IS a sin. It is a sin! IT IS A SIN! IT IS A SIN! (holds the strudel up to the sky. He drops it and grabs Stacy's shoulders.) IT IS A SIN!!! (she drops dead. He turns to Steiner and does the same thing) IT IS A SIN!!! (Steiner drops dead. Test looks skyward.) I AM A SIN!!! (walks off)
~*`*~*`*~
(The scene is a campsite. Maven and Al Snow are roasting Armageddon Marshmallows over the fire. A box of God Chex is between them, and they're happily munching.)
God: IT'S ME! (gets teary eyed) I'd like to thank the Academy for this! Thank you Mom! Thank you Dad! (turns to DA's) Thank you, girls!
DA Cerrita: Fol- God, you didn't win anything.
God: (thinks) Damn!
DA Phoenix: Back to Maven and (reluctantly) The Snowman.
Maven: Hey, Snow. Whatever happened to Head?
Al: Well, she wanted to pursue a career in modeling, and we parted ways. I sometimes get phone calls from her, but we haven't talked in a long time. Sometimes, though, I still hear her voice.
(A deep growl fills the air)
Maven: (scared) What was that?
Al: Oh, it's probably Head. (gets up and yells for her.) HEAD!!!
(Suddenly, a giant grizzly bear steps out in front of Maven.)
Maven: Snow? (calls louder) Snow! (louder) SNOW!!!
AL: WHAT??
Maven: That wasn't Head.
(Al turns around to yell back, but see's the bear and freaks out.)
Al: AHHHHHHH! RUN!!!!!!
(The two take off a top speed, the bear close behind and gaining. Just as Maven gets a lead, he suddenly trips over Al's outstretched foot. Snowman laughs and keeps going, climbing a very large tree. Maven is getting mauled while Snowman yells.)
Al: HA! I got away! AND THERE'S NOTHING GOD CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!
God: Oh, really? (a bright flash of light as lightning strikes the tree. Al's still sitting there, his body charred.)
Al: Ow. (he falls out of the tree, dead, waking up in Hell.)
Taker: (gothlike) Welcome to MY yard! (happily) Have some Undertaker Top Ramon!
Al: Oh, shit!
~*`*~*`*~
(The scene is the GM's office. Steve is stroking Eric's hair, who's rocking back and forth, knees pulled up to his chest.)
Steve: How the Hell did this happen?
Eric: (childish) Stevie!
Steve: You're a Goddamn kid again! How do you explain this?
Eric: (blowing snot bubble)
Steve: Exactly!
~*`*~*`*~
(scene is Hurricane's locker room. Rosey has dumped him unceremoniously on the couch, trying to wake him.)
Rosey: Damn it! You can't die on me! I love you to much! And I haven't even learned to fly yet!!!
(suddenly, under the door is illuminated by a bright white light that flows into the room and takes the shape of a Heavenly figure)
Rosey: NO!!! Hurricane!!! Your spirit, don't leave me!!! (wails into his hands)
Heavenly Figure: No, I am not Hurricane, I am the Divine Son of God.
God: (thinking) Funny, I don't remember that.
Heavenly Figure: (walks over to Hurricane, puts his hands on his forehead) Arise... damn, what was your name again?... Arise little dude!
Rosey: Rob? (looks up, but the Heavenly figure is gone) I am blessed! (flies around the room)
Hurricane: (holds his head) What a hangover. (looks at Rosey) What happened?
Rosey: I tried to save you from those poisoned strudels, but I was to late, so an angel I'm guessing was Rob brought you back from the dead!
Hurricane: WHAT??? I was never dead! Just... sleeping because of those strudels. (pause) Strudels... (whimper. Gets up) Where are they? I can't let some innocent passer by find them! (flies out)
Rosey: Wait for me! (runs into the wall) Ow.
~*`*~*`*~
(Christian's locker room. Benoit and Jericho are with him, and all of them are eating Super Chrises Mac'n'Cheese.)
Christian: Are you two listening to me?
Benoit: Not really.
Christian: I'm trying to tell you how I won this title from Booker. Listen Damn it!
Jericho: Maybe later, or, never.
Benoit: Anyway- Wasn't it great when I ripped Shaniqua in half?
Jericho: It was the awsomist thing I'd ever seen! (they high five)
Christian: EXCUSE ME! Intercontinental Champion OVER HERE!!! Edge and I used to be that close... (cries) I miss him so.
Benoit: Whatever.
(Suddenly, the room fills with bright white light, and the Heavenly Figure enters. Christian looks at him in awe.)
Christian: Edge!?!
Edge: Bro! How the Hell's it hangin', dude? Ever since I left, you've totally reaked of boringness. Yet you have the Championship. MY Championship.
Christian: But your-
Edge: Jesus? Yeah, isn't it cool?
Christian: I wanna be powerful!
Edge: Well, you can't because you suck. And you USED to be my little brother.
Christian: Your disowning me?
Edge: Pretty much, yeah.
Christian: (whining, crying) But I don't wanna be disowned!
Jericho: To bad, you whiny baby!
Benoit: So, how long have you been Jesus?
Edge: Ever since the last one retired and bought a home in the Bahamas. So, about six months.
(Suddenly, God, the DA's, Spanky, Stacy, and Steiner enter the room. Steiner is wearing a 1920's style tux and a curly mustache.)
God: (as Mel Brooks) 'Ello, boy-es!
DA Phoenix: Hi, Chris! (flirts)
Benoit: Dude, which one is she talking to?
Jericho: Me, defiantly me.
Benoit: But she's looking at me!
Jericho: No, she's looking at me!
Benoit: No, it's me. Do you want me to kick your ass to prove it?
Jericho: Ah, finally the Benoit I used to know.
Edge: Dudes, She's looking at Jericho, the other one is looking at you! (points to Benoit)
Jericho: HA!
Benoit: Which 'she' are we talking about again?
Christian: The hot one. (both DA's smack him) OW! What was that for?
DA Cerrita: Because we hate you in general.
DA Phoenix: And your not nearly as hot as Jericho (sits next to him and leans her head on his shoulder. He has an unnaturally large smile)
(Benoit looks at DA Cerrita, she stares back. They keep staring at each other for several minutes. Suddenly, Kurt walks into the room. Benoit looks at him and instantly morphs into a Wolverine.)
Kurt: What the hell is that? (points to Benoit, who chases him out of the room into the hall. Suddenly a blood curdling scream is heard) MY LEG!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU BIT MY LEG OFF!!!
(Benoit enters a few moments later, still as a wolverine, blood dripping from his mouth. He sits next to DA Cerrita.)
DA Cerrita: Awww, that's a good wolverine. (pets his head. He purrs)
Jericho: But wolverines don't purr. (Benoit growls at him.) Ok, I guess they do.
(Cerrita pours a little bit of her sobe into her hand, and Benoit licks it out.)
Cerrita: Ah, how cute! (he finishes the sobe and curls up in a ball on the couch, falling asleep.)
Jericho: Damn it, he's to fat! (trying to push Benoit out of the way so he can sit down.) Damn, it's not working! (Cerrita changes Benoit back into a human again, and he's still curled up.)
God: What did he do to Kurt?
Edge: I'm guessing, by the screaming, Kurt lost his leg.
DA Phoenix: Poor soldier. But who cares?
Spanky: Should we go put him out of his misery?
God: No, we'd better fix him. (looks at Spanky and Stacy) You two go.
Stacy: But I HATE Kurt, he's always talking about those stupid medals. Like anyone really, like, cares.
God: (big, scary voice) GO!
Spanky: Ok! (grabs Stacy's arm and they exit)
Jericho: Dude, what's up with them?
Christian: Yeah, I heard they both died.
Edge: Yeah, well, Spanky is my new brother, and Stacy's my sister. Jerry and Janet. We're the Christ Family!!!
Christian: WHAT!? That sparkly, chocolate syrup-eating moron from Washington has replaced me?
DA Cerrita: Now he's gone to far.
DA Phoenix: That's it, do we fry him?
DA Cerrita: Let me. (she points to Christian, who flashes with light and he instantly disappears, with only the IC belt laying on the floor.)
~*`*~*`*~
(Hell)
Christian: Where am I?
Undertaker: Oh, this is gonna be fun!
~*`*~*`*~
(Back at the locker room)
Jericho: Alright, that explains Legs and Sparkles, but what about Freakzilla over there?
Steiner: (with Russian accent) My name is Stalin, Joseph Stalin! Pleased to meet you!
Jericho: But, weren't you evil and stuff?
Steiner: Not that I recall. (looks at God, who shrugs. Stacy and Spanky come back in. Stacy's holding a pair of scissors and a red, white, and blue piece of ribbon. Kurt's weeping outside.)
Stacy: (leaning real close to Jericho) Don't give him any ideas!
God: Well, we have to get going. Heaven won't run itself.
Spanky: But Socko was doing a good job when we left.
God: Yeah, but you know how he is when he sees a pair of spandex. Besides, I miss being in charge of something. See you four later! (waves as the Christs and God disappear)
DA Phoenix: (looking around) What now?
Jericho: I know! (starts making out with her)
Benoit: (wakes up) What happened?
DA Cerrita: Shut up and cuddle.
.
~*`*~*`*~
.
To Be Continued!