CHAPTER 21 - When Only Fools Hope Remains
The ground grew steadily more and more angled as the party of orcs made their way back to the large network of caves. They dragged Nilwethion roughly along by his hair, knowing that after the two hours of torture they had put him through the prince would not be able to walk. Astaler, Nuryávië and Legolas followed the main party of orcs, but they noticed that there were always at least twelve orcs behind them.
As Legolas turned around, two of the orcs leered at him, bearing their rotting fangs and narrowing their small yellow eyes. The prince gave them a small glare, and then turned back around. Even then, the prince could feel their stares on his back. He gave a small, involuntary shudder.
"Something is not right," he whispered, so low that only Nuryávië heard him. Even Astaler, walking on the other side of Nuryávië, was not aware Legolas had spoken.
"Of course not - we have betrayed Nilwethion. I doubt that is what you mean, however," replied the older prince in equally low tones.
"The orcs behind us are watching us."
"What are you saying?"
"I think . . . I think that we have been set up somehow by Urshak. His orcs are watching everything we do. I am certain he has fooled us."
Legolas turned his head slightly to see how Nuryávië reacted. A small grimace passed across the princes' face for only a moment, and then Nuryávië became expressionless.
"I have had that feeling from the start, however there is nothing else we can do but play along. If we did not make sure the poison was in the wine, think what would have happened to Calensil. There is nothing we can do but play along."
As he listened to his brothers' words, Legolas realised how correct Nuryávië really was. He was about to reply when the company of orcs halted suddenly. Looking around, the young prince saw that they had reached the entrance to the city of caves. He paled, remembering the darkness and fear.
There was, however, no time to stop as the boulder had already been rolled out of the way and the orcs had begun to stream down in to the dark, narrow tunnel. Legolas stepped in to the dreaded tunnel for the second time in his life, and wished he had not.
The darkness wrapped itself around him like a blanket, smothering him. Reaching out, Legolas found Astaler's arm and grasped hold of it - the only comfort in the dark. At last the end of the tunnel came and they stumbled out in to the red flickering light. Blinking owlishly, the princes adjusted their eyes to cope with the new light.
The first place Legolas looked was the cage on the stone in the middle of the great hall. To his horror, it was empty. The only sign that it had ever been occupied was a trail of dried blood leading away down off the stone.
"This way, my little songbird," snarled a voice from not far away. Urshak stared deep in to Legolas' eyes with what seemed to be a cross between satisfaction and insane malice. Trying to keep in character, Legolas nodded slightly and followed Urshak - still dragging Nilwethion by his golden brown hair - down a carven pathway, flanked by Nuryávië and Astaler. Only three orcs followed them. The rest of the group seemed to have disappeared to carry out other tasks.
"In here," growled Urshak. He unlocked a door and threw Nilwethion in, and then stood aside for the other three princes to enter. The three guards followed closely behind, unnerving Legolas.
Inside the room, it was a dark, damp and dingy cell. The only light came from a flickering candle in the middle of the room and the torches the guards were holding. Against one of the walls were crouched three figures, huddled together. Oroweth, Thellind and Elladan. They pulled closer together when they saw Urshak and shuddered.
"Now little princes, Urshak has summat to admit. I lied to yew!" he began laughing, his fangs glinting in the torchlight. Behind him, the guards began laughing with him. On the floor, Nilwethion dragged himself as far away from the orcs as possible, his eyes wide.
"I lied! I ain't yer brother, little princes, and yew were fools to believe it! We caught yer real brother years ago - centuries, in fact. Killed 'im nice an' slow, we did. Took years, in fact. Very, very fun it was. Turned 'im in to a nice little wreck. We'd have kept 'im longer as well . . . only the brat had to go and die didn't he? Heartbreak, or summat stupid like that. That's the way yew lot are going t' go . . . unless we decide to keep one of yew as a nice little pet, an' then we can show yew to yer people what we can do in years to come. Sounds fun, don't it?"
Legolas began to shake, terrified and disgusted. Terrified of his fate and disgusted with himself for ever believing the orc that stood before him, laughing wildly. He took a step back.
"If yer wonderin' how I knew about the room," added the creature as an after thought, "We've got spies. Family of little crows, if yer must know. I'd get some rest now, little princes, because tomorrow we start having our fun, and you won't get any rest after that. Ever. Oh, and yew won't be needing those."
Urshak signalled to the orc guards behind him, who grabbed the swords from the belts of Astaler, Nuryávië and Legolas. They left the room laughing loudly and slammed the door shut behind them. A key scraped in the lock and the seven princes were left in a stunned silence.
After a while, in a very shaky voice, Nuryávië muttered, "Well I suppose it is a good thing we did not kill them then."
Swallowing, Legolas nodded.
After another long pause, Legolas ventured; "Have they . . . have they done anything to you since we . . . since we left?"
Oroweth glared at him, a protective arm wrapped around Thellind.
"No, but no thanks to you! Traitors!"
Next to Legolas, Astaler gave a small jump.
"Oroweth, it is not what you think."
"The orcs told us everything, you filth! You killed them! You switched sides! You deserve the death captain Urshak has planned for you!"
It was too much for Legolas when he saw the anger and hatred in Oroweth's eyes. He recognised the burning fire that had lit up in Astaler's eyes when Elrohir and Nilwethion had pressed them for answers on how they escaped. His knees buckled and the young prince collapsed to the floor, shaking.
"Let us explain Oroweth, please!"
"There is nothing to explain!"
Thellind let out a small whimper and Oroweth drew his younger sibling in to a closer embrace. Thellind looked at Legolas, despair and sorrow in his eyes, and then turned away, hiding his face in Oroweth's hair.
"They did not do it Oroweth. Listen to them. Do you really think they could lie to you? To us?"
Oroweth looked up at Nilwethion and took in the battered form. In the torchlight, his eyes glinted red. The prince remained stubborn.
"Please Oroweth, let them tell their story. Then we can decide what to think of them. The orcs may have been lying to us."
At last, Oroweth gave a small nod to Elladan. The elf seemed to have healed a lot since the three princes had been given their mission. Apparently the orcs had left him alone for the two weeks, as they had done with Oroweth and Thellind. Legolas gave a small smile.
"We did not kill naneth, adar or Calensil," he said, "We only staged their deaths. We gave them a sleeping draught to make them sleep for a few days. Naneth and Calensil are going to Imladris with Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian until this is all over. Adar refused to leave Mirkwood, so he is hiding in the tomb with a warrior who looks like naneth and her young daughter. We staged the funeral, and all the people of Mirkwood believe they are dead. Please believe us Oroweth, we could never murder them."
The three princes looked imploringly at Oroweth, and just as the prince was about to answer Elladan spoke first in a small, scared voice.
"They are going home without me?" His eyes were wide open and a small tear was threatening to form.
"Elrohir is not," said Astaler hurriedly, "He is waiting here for you, in our halls."
The Imladris elf brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. The small tears had now formed and flopped out of his eyes, running slowly down his cheeks.
"How is Elrohir?" he whispered
"Elrohir is a lot better off than you are, Elladan," said Nuryávië, "Though he has not stopped worrying about you."
Nuryávië and Astaler flumped down to the floor beside Legolas as Elladan sniffed back more tears. They looked at Oroweth hopefully.
"Are we forgiven, Oroweth?" asked Legolas. At last Oroweth nodded.
"I suppose so. I ought to have known you would not do that, but so much as happened recently I no longer know what to believe. One thing I do believe is that Urshak will keep his word. We will die like Neldoreth did. I wish we had been able to know him."
"We will soon," said Astaler suddenly, somehow sounding cheerful "We will all meet him in the halls of Mandos, and then we shall have all eternity to get to know him!"
"Ah, but then we would not be able to watch Hollinethir grow up, and how could we live without Calensil?" came the quick reply from Legolas.
"True. I think then that I shall wait until our sisters have grown up," said Astaler happily.
The elves looked at him, astounded. The prince looked back at them, and then became confused.
"Why are you all looking at me as if I am insane?" he asked
"Astaler, we do not seem to have a choice in the matter, in case you have not realised. Urshak is going to kill us as slowly as he possibly can. We will never see Mirkwood again, nor Calensil. We will never see Hollinethir at all. How can you be so happy if we are about to die?"
A slow grin wound its way on to Astalers features.
"About to die? Are you sure about that Nuryávië?" he asked. Then he made a sharp movement with his hand, and before anybody could realise what the prince had done, a bunch of iron keys was dangling in front of their eyes. They gasped.
"How by Eru did you get those?" whispered Legolas, his voice full of awe. Astaler grinned smugly.
"I borrowed them from Urshak. The fool is very slow, considering how well he has trained all his hoard."
"You mean you stole them?" gaped Nilwethion. Astaler looked reproachfully at him.
"'Stole' is a very harsh word."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The rain poured down, drenching any elf foolish enough to be caught outside with no shelter. Unfortunately, that included the elves of Imladris, queen Imlammthien - although she did not seem aware that she was outside, let alone in the rain - princess Calensil who was very aware of the rain, and disapproved of it wholeheartedly, an escort of Mirkwood royal guards and Mithrandir. Mithrandir, however, did not seem bothered by the rain. In fact, he would have enjoyed watching the waterfall spilling over the brim of his hat had the situation not been so serious.
"Farewell naneth, farewell adar. I will return as soon as I find Elladan again, live or . . .or dead," came the voice of Elrohir from under a hooded cloak. He stood opposite three figures - two tall, and one only about waist height.
"Farewell Elrohir. Do not be too long in returning," came the voice of Celebrian from under an almost identical cloak. The lady of Imladris bent forward and kissed her son on his brow.
"Farewell Elrohir. Do not do anything foolish," came the voice of Elrond from under the other tall, cloaked figure.
"I will not adar. Goodbye little one. You will enjoy Imladris," he said to the small figure. This was Calensil.
"I would enjoy it more if Legas and Nilly and Thelly were there too," came the small, sorrowful voice, "I want my brothers back!"
A sniffing sound came from under the hood, which was quickly followed by floods of tears. Lady Celebrian picked up the small princess and began to cuddle her, making crooning sounds.
"I will stay in Mirkwood no longer than a year," said Elrohir, unsure how to treat small, crying children. He usually left Arwen to Elladan when she cried and stood well back. Elrond was thinking along similar lines.
The lord of Imladris embraced his son, and then mounted his horse. His wife did the same, swinging Calensil up before her. Not far away, Mithrandir was leading the queen of Mirkwood gently but firmly towards her horse.
The grey wizard stood back with Elrohir as the elves began to ride slowly away from the halls of Mirkwood under the eaves of the dark woods. Mud was already beginning to splatter the legs of their horses and the heavy rain was forcefully penetrating their cloaks, leaving nothing and nobody dry.
Only when the last elf passed out of view did the old grey wizard and the young elf turn their backs to the forest and make their way to Mirkwood's halls.
"Well," said Mithrandir, "I hope this works."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Thanks a lot to all you wonderful, wonderful, **wonderful** reviewers who helped me get over 200 nice reviews! I love you all! **Throws out extra cookies to everyone**
IMBEFANIEL ~ whoa, that's emotional. I don't cry much. In fact, I hardly ever cry. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
LEXIE02 ~ updated!
PIRATE-CHICHA ~ sorry to confuse you. I didn't mean to!
JUKIA WOLFCALL ~ no wars involved with this fic, sorry. They did sort-of get taken hostage though.
MAVERICKGIRL ~ it hasn't stopped twisting yet, and it isn't about to. Lol.
COOLIO02 ~ thanks a lot.
MOONMIST ~ I'm afraid that the one thing I can't promise you is everything turning out 'alright'. Well I could, but I would be lying. I have a bad habit of making things worse when they should get better.
LITTLE WITCH ~ review soon? Did you mean update? Or is there a story you wanted me to read?
LADY LARVLE OF MIRKWOOD ~ hmm, do I sense a Legolas fan girl here? Are there still plenty of plot bunnies left in the warren?
ORODRUIN ~ **grabs in to bear hug** thank you so, so, so much! You were my 200th reviewer! **Hugs again** have yet another cookie! Of course you can give Nilwethion part of the cookie! Poor little darling. **Huggles Nilwethion**
ICED1 ~ yup, that's spelt right. The princes understand why you wanted to slap them completely, and they say that it's ok. I actually have four muses, as it says on my bio.
TAMARA ~ I will . . . I have, even. **Gets a mite confuzzled**
The ground grew steadily more and more angled as the party of orcs made their way back to the large network of caves. They dragged Nilwethion roughly along by his hair, knowing that after the two hours of torture they had put him through the prince would not be able to walk. Astaler, Nuryávië and Legolas followed the main party of orcs, but they noticed that there were always at least twelve orcs behind them.
As Legolas turned around, two of the orcs leered at him, bearing their rotting fangs and narrowing their small yellow eyes. The prince gave them a small glare, and then turned back around. Even then, the prince could feel their stares on his back. He gave a small, involuntary shudder.
"Something is not right," he whispered, so low that only Nuryávië heard him. Even Astaler, walking on the other side of Nuryávië, was not aware Legolas had spoken.
"Of course not - we have betrayed Nilwethion. I doubt that is what you mean, however," replied the older prince in equally low tones.
"The orcs behind us are watching us."
"What are you saying?"
"I think . . . I think that we have been set up somehow by Urshak. His orcs are watching everything we do. I am certain he has fooled us."
Legolas turned his head slightly to see how Nuryávië reacted. A small grimace passed across the princes' face for only a moment, and then Nuryávië became expressionless.
"I have had that feeling from the start, however there is nothing else we can do but play along. If we did not make sure the poison was in the wine, think what would have happened to Calensil. There is nothing we can do but play along."
As he listened to his brothers' words, Legolas realised how correct Nuryávië really was. He was about to reply when the company of orcs halted suddenly. Looking around, the young prince saw that they had reached the entrance to the city of caves. He paled, remembering the darkness and fear.
There was, however, no time to stop as the boulder had already been rolled out of the way and the orcs had begun to stream down in to the dark, narrow tunnel. Legolas stepped in to the dreaded tunnel for the second time in his life, and wished he had not.
The darkness wrapped itself around him like a blanket, smothering him. Reaching out, Legolas found Astaler's arm and grasped hold of it - the only comfort in the dark. At last the end of the tunnel came and they stumbled out in to the red flickering light. Blinking owlishly, the princes adjusted their eyes to cope with the new light.
The first place Legolas looked was the cage on the stone in the middle of the great hall. To his horror, it was empty. The only sign that it had ever been occupied was a trail of dried blood leading away down off the stone.
"This way, my little songbird," snarled a voice from not far away. Urshak stared deep in to Legolas' eyes with what seemed to be a cross between satisfaction and insane malice. Trying to keep in character, Legolas nodded slightly and followed Urshak - still dragging Nilwethion by his golden brown hair - down a carven pathway, flanked by Nuryávië and Astaler. Only three orcs followed them. The rest of the group seemed to have disappeared to carry out other tasks.
"In here," growled Urshak. He unlocked a door and threw Nilwethion in, and then stood aside for the other three princes to enter. The three guards followed closely behind, unnerving Legolas.
Inside the room, it was a dark, damp and dingy cell. The only light came from a flickering candle in the middle of the room and the torches the guards were holding. Against one of the walls were crouched three figures, huddled together. Oroweth, Thellind and Elladan. They pulled closer together when they saw Urshak and shuddered.
"Now little princes, Urshak has summat to admit. I lied to yew!" he began laughing, his fangs glinting in the torchlight. Behind him, the guards began laughing with him. On the floor, Nilwethion dragged himself as far away from the orcs as possible, his eyes wide.
"I lied! I ain't yer brother, little princes, and yew were fools to believe it! We caught yer real brother years ago - centuries, in fact. Killed 'im nice an' slow, we did. Took years, in fact. Very, very fun it was. Turned 'im in to a nice little wreck. We'd have kept 'im longer as well . . . only the brat had to go and die didn't he? Heartbreak, or summat stupid like that. That's the way yew lot are going t' go . . . unless we decide to keep one of yew as a nice little pet, an' then we can show yew to yer people what we can do in years to come. Sounds fun, don't it?"
Legolas began to shake, terrified and disgusted. Terrified of his fate and disgusted with himself for ever believing the orc that stood before him, laughing wildly. He took a step back.
"If yer wonderin' how I knew about the room," added the creature as an after thought, "We've got spies. Family of little crows, if yer must know. I'd get some rest now, little princes, because tomorrow we start having our fun, and you won't get any rest after that. Ever. Oh, and yew won't be needing those."
Urshak signalled to the orc guards behind him, who grabbed the swords from the belts of Astaler, Nuryávië and Legolas. They left the room laughing loudly and slammed the door shut behind them. A key scraped in the lock and the seven princes were left in a stunned silence.
After a while, in a very shaky voice, Nuryávië muttered, "Well I suppose it is a good thing we did not kill them then."
Swallowing, Legolas nodded.
After another long pause, Legolas ventured; "Have they . . . have they done anything to you since we . . . since we left?"
Oroweth glared at him, a protective arm wrapped around Thellind.
"No, but no thanks to you! Traitors!"
Next to Legolas, Astaler gave a small jump.
"Oroweth, it is not what you think."
"The orcs told us everything, you filth! You killed them! You switched sides! You deserve the death captain Urshak has planned for you!"
It was too much for Legolas when he saw the anger and hatred in Oroweth's eyes. He recognised the burning fire that had lit up in Astaler's eyes when Elrohir and Nilwethion had pressed them for answers on how they escaped. His knees buckled and the young prince collapsed to the floor, shaking.
"Let us explain Oroweth, please!"
"There is nothing to explain!"
Thellind let out a small whimper and Oroweth drew his younger sibling in to a closer embrace. Thellind looked at Legolas, despair and sorrow in his eyes, and then turned away, hiding his face in Oroweth's hair.
"They did not do it Oroweth. Listen to them. Do you really think they could lie to you? To us?"
Oroweth looked up at Nilwethion and took in the battered form. In the torchlight, his eyes glinted red. The prince remained stubborn.
"Please Oroweth, let them tell their story. Then we can decide what to think of them. The orcs may have been lying to us."
At last, Oroweth gave a small nod to Elladan. The elf seemed to have healed a lot since the three princes had been given their mission. Apparently the orcs had left him alone for the two weeks, as they had done with Oroweth and Thellind. Legolas gave a small smile.
"We did not kill naneth, adar or Calensil," he said, "We only staged their deaths. We gave them a sleeping draught to make them sleep for a few days. Naneth and Calensil are going to Imladris with Lord Elrond and Lady Celebrian until this is all over. Adar refused to leave Mirkwood, so he is hiding in the tomb with a warrior who looks like naneth and her young daughter. We staged the funeral, and all the people of Mirkwood believe they are dead. Please believe us Oroweth, we could never murder them."
The three princes looked imploringly at Oroweth, and just as the prince was about to answer Elladan spoke first in a small, scared voice.
"They are going home without me?" His eyes were wide open and a small tear was threatening to form.
"Elrohir is not," said Astaler hurriedly, "He is waiting here for you, in our halls."
The Imladris elf brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin on them. The small tears had now formed and flopped out of his eyes, running slowly down his cheeks.
"How is Elrohir?" he whispered
"Elrohir is a lot better off than you are, Elladan," said Nuryávië, "Though he has not stopped worrying about you."
Nuryávië and Astaler flumped down to the floor beside Legolas as Elladan sniffed back more tears. They looked at Oroweth hopefully.
"Are we forgiven, Oroweth?" asked Legolas. At last Oroweth nodded.
"I suppose so. I ought to have known you would not do that, but so much as happened recently I no longer know what to believe. One thing I do believe is that Urshak will keep his word. We will die like Neldoreth did. I wish we had been able to know him."
"We will soon," said Astaler suddenly, somehow sounding cheerful "We will all meet him in the halls of Mandos, and then we shall have all eternity to get to know him!"
"Ah, but then we would not be able to watch Hollinethir grow up, and how could we live without Calensil?" came the quick reply from Legolas.
"True. I think then that I shall wait until our sisters have grown up," said Astaler happily.
The elves looked at him, astounded. The prince looked back at them, and then became confused.
"Why are you all looking at me as if I am insane?" he asked
"Astaler, we do not seem to have a choice in the matter, in case you have not realised. Urshak is going to kill us as slowly as he possibly can. We will never see Mirkwood again, nor Calensil. We will never see Hollinethir at all. How can you be so happy if we are about to die?"
A slow grin wound its way on to Astalers features.
"About to die? Are you sure about that Nuryávië?" he asked. Then he made a sharp movement with his hand, and before anybody could realise what the prince had done, a bunch of iron keys was dangling in front of their eyes. They gasped.
"How by Eru did you get those?" whispered Legolas, his voice full of awe. Astaler grinned smugly.
"I borrowed them from Urshak. The fool is very slow, considering how well he has trained all his hoard."
"You mean you stole them?" gaped Nilwethion. Astaler looked reproachfully at him.
"'Stole' is a very harsh word."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The rain poured down, drenching any elf foolish enough to be caught outside with no shelter. Unfortunately, that included the elves of Imladris, queen Imlammthien - although she did not seem aware that she was outside, let alone in the rain - princess Calensil who was very aware of the rain, and disapproved of it wholeheartedly, an escort of Mirkwood royal guards and Mithrandir. Mithrandir, however, did not seem bothered by the rain. In fact, he would have enjoyed watching the waterfall spilling over the brim of his hat had the situation not been so serious.
"Farewell naneth, farewell adar. I will return as soon as I find Elladan again, live or . . .or dead," came the voice of Elrohir from under a hooded cloak. He stood opposite three figures - two tall, and one only about waist height.
"Farewell Elrohir. Do not be too long in returning," came the voice of Celebrian from under an almost identical cloak. The lady of Imladris bent forward and kissed her son on his brow.
"Farewell Elrohir. Do not do anything foolish," came the voice of Elrond from under the other tall, cloaked figure.
"I will not adar. Goodbye little one. You will enjoy Imladris," he said to the small figure. This was Calensil.
"I would enjoy it more if Legas and Nilly and Thelly were there too," came the small, sorrowful voice, "I want my brothers back!"
A sniffing sound came from under the hood, which was quickly followed by floods of tears. Lady Celebrian picked up the small princess and began to cuddle her, making crooning sounds.
"I will stay in Mirkwood no longer than a year," said Elrohir, unsure how to treat small, crying children. He usually left Arwen to Elladan when she cried and stood well back. Elrond was thinking along similar lines.
The lord of Imladris embraced his son, and then mounted his horse. His wife did the same, swinging Calensil up before her. Not far away, Mithrandir was leading the queen of Mirkwood gently but firmly towards her horse.
The grey wizard stood back with Elrohir as the elves began to ride slowly away from the halls of Mirkwood under the eaves of the dark woods. Mud was already beginning to splatter the legs of their horses and the heavy rain was forcefully penetrating their cloaks, leaving nothing and nobody dry.
Only when the last elf passed out of view did the old grey wizard and the young elf turn their backs to the forest and make their way to Mirkwood's halls.
"Well," said Mithrandir, "I hope this works."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Thanks a lot to all you wonderful, wonderful, **wonderful** reviewers who helped me get over 200 nice reviews! I love you all! **Throws out extra cookies to everyone**
IMBEFANIEL ~ whoa, that's emotional. I don't cry much. In fact, I hardly ever cry. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
LEXIE02 ~ updated!
PIRATE-CHICHA ~ sorry to confuse you. I didn't mean to!
JUKIA WOLFCALL ~ no wars involved with this fic, sorry. They did sort-of get taken hostage though.
MAVERICKGIRL ~ it hasn't stopped twisting yet, and it isn't about to. Lol.
COOLIO02 ~ thanks a lot.
MOONMIST ~ I'm afraid that the one thing I can't promise you is everything turning out 'alright'. Well I could, but I would be lying. I have a bad habit of making things worse when they should get better.
LITTLE WITCH ~ review soon? Did you mean update? Or is there a story you wanted me to read?
LADY LARVLE OF MIRKWOOD ~ hmm, do I sense a Legolas fan girl here? Are there still plenty of plot bunnies left in the warren?
ORODRUIN ~ **grabs in to bear hug** thank you so, so, so much! You were my 200th reviewer! **Hugs again** have yet another cookie! Of course you can give Nilwethion part of the cookie! Poor little darling. **Huggles Nilwethion**
ICED1 ~ yup, that's spelt right. The princes understand why you wanted to slap them completely, and they say that it's ok. I actually have four muses, as it says on my bio.
TAMARA ~ I will . . . I have, even. **Gets a mite confuzzled**