POV spike @@@@@@ I remember the time when she was all I wanted when my mind, soul, and body were consumed by her. It's funny how when you get someone you think will make your life complete you always want more. I died to save her she was my life and when I came back. She needed me as much as I needed her and I thought yeah this it I am going to be happy but I wasn't I wanted more. I didn't feel satisfied anymore. I didn't feel complete like I thought I should. So I took up with red. I didn't love her or need her like I did Buffy. She isn't what kept me bound to this earth its Buffy but she was bloody brilliant in the sack so I kept her around. I think buffy knows I can see it in her eyes all the pain the hurt. It kills me to know that I've done this to her. The woman that was supposes to be my soul mate. I think I driven her to do some horrible thing. She seems so distance now, so strung out. I can smell the drugs rushing through her veins. She's barely alive anymore and I know they all know I can see the seething hatred in their eyes when They look at me the pain the heart ache I can feel their hurt or more importantly her hurt her anguish radiating off her body like heat waves. They always say you hurt the one you love. Well I guess their right I am killing the one I love but I can't stop. Red is like this power aphrodisiac that I cant escape I am addicted to her but no I don't love her like I love Buffy. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Sorry so short having working the whole story out in my head keep reading and reviewing