~*~Chapter 3~*~

There're only so many suspicious looks a guy can take before he goes stark, raving bonkers. Currently, I was well on the way to Bonkerdom Bog, what with all the frequent flier miles I'd been handed in the past few hours.

Aya gave me suspicious looks. Yohji gave me suspicious looks. Omi gave me suspicious looks. The guy from the greenhouse gave me suspicious looks. I don't know what his problem was, other then maybe he was just hopping on the 'everybody's doing it' freight train. Who knows? I sure didn't. I had enough to worry about without pondering the insecurities of the supplier guy. Aya gave me more suspicious looks. Hell even I gave myself suspicious looks. I mean, was I gay now? My lips had touched those of a man!

And not any man, oh no this was no hobo Joshi Takahoshi off the streets, this was my team mate. This was Aya who'd helped me so far and had been a real bud to me and how did I repay him? By putting my mouth on his. Of course I also bit him but in our line of work, what's a little pain here and there? And taking into account all the straps and shit on the guy's trench coat, well I dare say he might even like pain, if you catch my snowdrift.

But pain was one thing and kissing...well kissing was a whole other solar system. Especially buddies who are guys kissing. I breached a bunch of lines back there, all so that I wouldn't have to find a girlfriend. The more I thought about it, the more I realized just how gay my actions were. Zany antics or not, there was not denying that what I did was high on the Faerie Scale. What guy would kiss his best dude pal so that he wouldn't have to find a girlfriend...unless the guy actually did like to partake of manmeat?

These thoughts scared me. What if my actions last night were the result of some 'subconscious' mumbo pango? Could it be that deep inside I was interested in being Aya's bitch? What with all his anal retentive ways, it wasn't like I could be the butch. But on the other hand, what if Aya wanted me to lord over him and be some authoritative figure, like a daddy or a prison guard or a priest? What if he wanted me to be the top? I had no experience in these kinds of matters!

Then I recalled how pissed Aya had been when I bit him so I thought that he probably wouldn't like me to smack his ass and say 'Who's your daddy bitch?' Shits. This was petrifying. I did not like to partake of manmeat and I didn't want to be anybody's bitch! Sure Aya was attractive, as far as guys go (and I don't mean that in a fancy boy way) but when you thought about it, you'd come to realize that...that...uh...

I think I still need to think about it.

I swear, all these thoughts about thinking and thinking of thoughts were giving me indigestion.

The morning slowly slid into the afternoon and with a deluge of more suspicious looks, gee that was different, Omi and Aya set off to deliver a dozen Hemlock plants to a 'Death of Socrates' party, whatever that was. I was glad to see them and their suspicious ways, go. Now I only had Yohji to deal with and he would...

"Young man are you're saying that these seeds will grow anywhere from eight to ten zucchinis or eight to ten zucchini plants?"

...be busy for a while.

I ducked into the storage closet, relishing the look of acute annoyance on Yohji's face. Served that bonebrain right, after all the trashy drama he'd put me through. Try to set me up with underwear models and wrestlers would he? Well I'd show him. I'd show them all!

"Ahah hah hah hah hah," I laughed with much glee.

Sure Aya and Yohji and Omi all thought I was a gay weirdo and they'd probably shun me into 'passing acquaintance-hood' and I'd be miserable and lonely because they wouldn't want to talk to me anymore and I'd have no friends but at least I wouldn't be shackled to some chick. No one ever said life was a box of chocolates afterall.

Sniggering jovially to myself, I began the tedious process of taking inventory. Someone kept stealing petunia seeds. It was most peculiar.

Eventually Yohji came barging into the supply room. "What was all that drama about last night?" he demanded hotly.

Lord what a bossy guy! "I like Aya," I declared in as blasé a tone as I could muster. "You know, like like. Got a problem with that buster?" Inside, I smirked. Take that algaebum!

"Well shits. No wonder you didn't want all those saucy ladies we found for you, they got the wrong kind of equipment!" Yohji chuckled and shook his head. He seemed to have gotten over his suspicious ways rather well, all things considering. "I should have figured it out ages ago! The way you love soccer so much and always ogle the players...it's pretty obvious! You don't really give a crap about that boring, losery game, you're just all about the hot guys and lean, sweaty bodies eh? Ken, you sly devil you! And all this time I thought you were an innocent kind of guy!"

Hey wait a minute! I never ogled no one! Soccer was not a boring, losery game! I am an innocent kind of guy! "Hey now wait a-"

"Oh don't get all huffy with me champ, sex is sex. There's nothing to be ashamed of." Yohji gave me an enthusiastic wink. "You just leave it to me and I'll hook you up with Aya no problem. They don't call me 'The Love Connoisseur' for nothing!"

This, I had not anticipated. It took me a few minutes to stop staring and close my mouth. "No one calls you the love connoisseur! And besides, er...I thought you wouldn't be okay with this. I mean, uh don't you think two guys is gross?"

"If it feels good, do it, that's what I say." Yohji whacked me on the back. "Besides, it's not like I'm totally unfamiliar with the more manly specimens. Men, women, I'm a stud wanted by all. Guys dig me you know? Always have. I just choose the ladies 'cuz I don't swing that way. But seriously, you don't hafta worry about a thing. You just let your good ol' bud Yoj handle things and then the sparks'll really fly!"

I was disgusted. Yeah there'd be sparks alright. Flying sparks when I clawed Yohji's stupid head off! "Shut up Yoj."

"Ohhh, you don't need to be shy around me!" Yohji enthused, grabbing my head and rubbing his knuckles in my hair. "You want Aya? Simple! No problem! This is a piece of mochi! All you have to do is wine him, dine him and then after...heh heh heh...refine him."

What was this buffoon saying? I yanked my head from his buddy-bonding clutch. I was not going out in public with Aya! Yeah right, guess again, do not pass go and do not collect 200 Yen! What did I look like, a gigolo? "I am not going out in public with Aya! Yeah right, guess again, do not pass go and do not collect 200 Yen! What do I look like, a gigolo?"

Yohji stared at me with his sunglassed, dumb eyes. "I don't get it," he said. "You like Aya. Hell, last night you were practically playing bum-darts with the guy! Why wouldn't-"

"No I wasn't!" I squeaked, my voice reaching an octave that never before had my larynx made.

"But you wanted to, I could tell," Yohji bragged, nudging his elbow into my ribs.

I jerked away from Yohji and his touchy-feely habits. My head felt like it was on fire. Bum-darts? With Aya? What in the earth? I was not some perverted manwhore like Yohji, I had morals dammit. "I don't wanna date Aya!" I snapped. "And I don't want your stupid help. I'll do things my way Yohji!"

Yohji looked on, nonplussed. Then a wide, dopey grin filled his face. "Oh I get it," he chortled. "You're scared to come out of the closet! Well not to worry, we can still keep things under wraps, if you get what I'm saying." Yohji pulled out a box from his jeans and shoved it into my hand. "You better hold on to these though. Super thin and extra-ribbed for maximum pleasure. I'll find you some Astro-Glide and then you'll be all set to go!"

I saw what the box was and shrieked, hurling away the offending box. "I don't need those you cheap dick!"

"Well sheesh!" Yohji huffed, fishing out the box from behind a bulbous bit of shrubbery. "You don't have to get hasty! This shit's expensive." He peered down his shades and levelled a stern look at me. "Just because pregnancy isn't an issue doesn't mean you shouldn't be cautious Ken. You don't know where Aya's been and with who. The guy could be a walking soup of STDs for all you know!"

By Buddha's breath! How much dumb could a person be? There was no hope for it.

I grabbed a bag of peat moss and tried to brain myself with it.