The Letter

Shio stayed on the floor, staring at the door. After a few minutes, he reached up to feel his jaw and winced at the pain. His jaw was already swelling up and his lip was slit. Shio got up to spit the blood out of his mouth. When he did it, a tooth came out as well. He ran his tongue across his teeth. It came from the back of his mouth. He then took a sip of water to wash out the rest of the blood. Shio walked over to the door and looked outside. Saganno was no where in sight. He looked up at the cloud filled sky felt his jaw again.

"That was one hell of a punch." He admitted to himself. Shio turned around and took a good look at his place. Saganno's right, he thought as he looked at his messy house with trash all over the place, sake jugs scattered across the floor, and he himself smelling like something the cat dragged in.

"Saganno's absolutely right." Shio tried to run his hands through his hair but the knots wouldn't permit. "OUCH!" He sighed then he bent down and started picking up the jugs. While he was cleaning up, he started to think about the night he left Kiriko behind…

After Shio left the Himura residence, he went back to Nataki Forest to get his sword. It was still lying in the dirt where he left it. When he went to pick it up, he noticed Laplatina was lying cross his own sword. Shio stared at the two swords for a while. He had a strange feeling that the criss-crossed swords meant something. Especially, the fact that Kiriko's sword for peace was on top of his own weapon for revenge. Shio dismissed it and sheathed his own sword then took hers with him.

When Shio got back to Kyoto a week later, he didn't go home right away. He headed straight towards the mountains were his father and mother's ashes lay. He couldn't rest until he closed that chapter of his life. The sun was setting in the horizon when he finally reached the other side of the cave. The candles he set on the edge of the cliff so long ago were still there. Shio got on his knees and lit the candles. Then he took his sword from his tie and placed it on the edge of the cliff. He closed his eyes, clapped twice and spoke his prayer.

"Father. I have brought you a sword. However it is not the Battousai's sakabatou. This is the sword I was going to use to kill the Battousai……I have no use for it……Father, I have failed you. I let my heart get involved with my mission. I can't kill the Battousai because I am in love with his daughter. If I hurt him, I hurt her. My blinding hope that you would love me if I killed the Battousai made me hurt the one who loves me. I know that sounds confusing and I know you probably hate me now more than ever…but I've never felt this way about anyone or anything and I can't bare to hurt her again…I now understand why you gave me away……I was weak and you know what? I can live with that. As long as I know Kiriko loves me I can live without yours. I am truly sorry. Goodbye…father." He opened his eyes. It was now dark except for the candles. Shio got up and took one of the candles back with him through the cave.

After a couple of hours, Shio was finally able to get his place looking somewhat decent. Next he took his clothes to a small lake not to far from his house. He gave his clothes a much needed washing. When he shook out one of his gi's, something came flying out. He picked it up. It was the small silver tube he got from Ms Tsumide. Shio rolled it on his hand and touched the beautiful velvet ribbon that was wrapped around it. The ribbon looked so much like Kiriko's hair. This time Shio tucked it into his belt, not wanting to forget about it, and finished washing the clothes. While all his clothes were drying, including the clothes he was wearing, he went to a hot springs that was deep in the mountains and took a long much needed bath.

Shio sat in the water and thought about what Saganno said.

(……"Don't you get it, you asshole! Kiriko could have any guy she wants. And I'm not just talking about me. She could have ANY one and you know it……. Yet she chose you…"…..)

He dipped his head under the hot water for a moment then came back to the surface. He couldn't wash the thought out of his mind.

(…"She chose you to hold her heart in your hands."…)

Shio looked up at the sky. The stars were already starting to come out.

"I stayed in here that long." Shio got up and headed back to the lake to get his clothes.

When he got back into the house, he fixed himself some rice. After Saganno knocked the life back in him, he realized he was extremely hungry. As he ate, he took out Kiriko's sword and looked at it in the firelight. That's what he did most of the time. He would just stare at the sword and drink sake until he passed out. But tonight all he wanted to do was eat and stare at the sword. Many times he would see her eyes shining from the beautiful blade. At first he thought it was his own reflection but the eyes were always indigo. Laplatina seemed to be connected with Kiriko some how. It was truly an unusual sword yet every time he looked at it, he would fall in love with her all over again.

Shio laid the sword down next to him. Then he pulled the tube from his belt. He wondered why his mother would give him such a thing. He twirled it around in his finger for a moment then stopped when he noticed a small bump at the end of the tube. Shio put down his eighth bowl of rice and brought the tube closer to the light. He narrowed his eyes to get a better look. There was tiny hinge on the circular edge. He stared at it for a moment then he realized; "It can open!"

Shio ran into the kitchen to get a small knife. He carefully wedged it into a notch located on the opposite side of the hinge. Surprisingly the top popped open without much effort. Inside there was a rolled up piece of paper. He pulled it out carefully. Shio opened up the paper. It was a letter. The first line read: To my darling Shio….

To my darling Shio,

If you are reading this letter, then that means I must be dead. Oh, my beautiful boy. I don't have much time left because I'm leaving with your father tomorrow. He plans on taking over Japan. If you're reading this, obviously he has failed. I know you'll hear plenty of stories about him. Some will be true others false but what I'm going to tell you will be coming straight from my heart.

First of all I regret to tell you that your father never knew about you. Before I found out I was pregnant, he left for a year. He went in search of people that could help him take over Japan. He was making an army. I begged him not to do this but he was a man scorn by the government and I understood he had his reasons. When you were born I gave you to my mother because I didn't want your father to know about you. If he did he would have surely killed you. He made it clear to me many years ago that he didn't want any children. He told me that his focus was only revenge and he would not let anything get in his way. Not even a child. I love your father very much but I love you even more. I didn't want you to die and I didn't want you to ever be like him either. I remember at times Shishio could be so kind and gentle but above all he is a man-slayer till the day he'll die. I don't want you to be like that. News has already spread that the Battousai is going to try to stop your father. I'm going to do everything in my power to help your father's dream come true, but deep down in the bottom of my heart I kind of want the Battousai to win. Don't misunderstand. I want you father to win because I love him and I would never help the Battousai destroy his dreams. But if he does, many lives will be lost for his dream and that's the part that I don't agree with because that means you will still die after all I did to save you. I know you're probably wondering why I love him so much and that's simple. Did grandmother ever tell you that Shishio was unworthy of me? That he was a worthless man and a disgrace. That I had dishonored our family name because of my love for him, knowing my mother, she probably did. But I never see him like that. I feel that I am unworthy of him because he is smart, courageous, and handsome in my eyes. I feel unworthy to be in his presence but he chose me to be by his side. He wants to share his dream with me. He wants me to help him fulfil them. I've never been so honored in my life. So I love him with all my heart because I am worthy of his love. Shio I can't imagine how hard it's been for you. And you've probably wondered if I ever loved you at all. Believe me, my son, I do love you and will always love even after my death. I know that must be hard to understand since I did abandon you but I truly do.

I just want you to be happy. If the Battousai does happen to win this battle, do not seek revenge on him because it will consume you like it did your father. Try to find something meaningful and chose that path instead. I have to go but remember my words. Again, I love you. Take care of yourself. Goodbye, my son.

Your Loving mother,

Yumi Komagata

Shio read the letter six times. After the sixth time, he just stared at the fire. He didn't know what to feel at this point. He was a mixture of emotions but most of all he felt foolish. More than anything he wanted his father's love and now that he knew his father never even know he existed, he felt like an utter fool. Everything he did was in vain. Kiriko was right again. His father's past had nothing to do with him and the letter was proof.

"I'm such an idiot!" Shio laid down on his futon and stared at the ceiling. I could have been doing something worth while with my life, he thought angrily, I could have friends! I could have travelled! I could have really enjoyed my life instead of wasting it on him!……yet… Shio sat up again.

"I would have never met Kiriko." Shio read the letter again but this time stopping on the part where his mother explained her reasons for loving his father.

(…I feel unworthy to be in his presence but he chose me to be by his side. He wants to share his dreams with me. He wants me to help him fulfil them. I've never been so honored in my life. So I love him with all my heart because I am worthy of his love…)

(he chose me)

He read those three words over and over again.

(he chose me)

Shio looked at Laplatina. Kiriko voice came floating into his head

(…"Do you really think I would have placed my life in your hands if I thought you were worthless?….Do you really think I would fallen in love with someone I thought was worthless?"… "You told me there are no words to describe my worth to you. Yet there are three words that describe your worth to me…" …"I love you……So don't you ever say you are worthless. You'll never be worthless because I love you, Shio Makoto……Don't you understand. You're not worthless. You are priceless.")

(she chose you)

He got up and put his clothes on, grabbed Laplatina and the rest of his food. He rolled the letter back up then put it back into the tube. He placed it inside the pocket of his gi. Just before he walked out, Shio looked back into his shabby little house. Saganno's words ran across his mind,

(…"You've had plenty of time to punish yourself. I'm here to tell you that your punishment is over. Now it's time to go back to her so that she can be happy again."…)

Then his mother's words, (… Try to find something meaningful and chose that path…… I just want you to be happy…)

He smiled, I know what path to take, then closed the door behind him.