It wasn't long before Wesley and the others were back up in the lobby of the Hyperion dialing Willow's number.
Willow answered on the first ring. " Hello? "
" Willow, we have a slight problem here…but I think you might enjoy it." Wesley said into the receiver, unable to hold back the laugh that escaped his throat.
" Really? What's going on? " Willow said on the other end of the line, wondering what kind of a 'slight problem' would cause Wesley to giggle.
She twisted the cord of the phone around her finger as she waited for his reply.
" It's Angel…he's Angelus…"
" Ohmigod! Did he hurt anyone? What's…? "
" No, no it's not as bad as you think! " Wesley interrupted, his cheery mood seeming very out of place to the red-haired wiccan, " Yes, we do want him re-souled. That's why I called you in fact. Only…he's in a cage right now and it would seem a vengeance demon or some of the sort has rendered him unable to tell a lie…so come on over here! Bring Buffy if you like…"
" Angelus unable to lie! " Willow giggled, " Sounds like fun! I'll be over as soon as I can with that re-souling spell."
" Would you? That'd be most excellent."
They said their goodbyes and hung up, Wesley's grin matching those of Fred, Gunn, and just about everyone else's.
" Are you thinking what I'm thinking? " Fred laughed.
" Yeah," Gunn rubbed his hands together, " She won't be here for awhile…let's have a little fun! "
Meanwhile, back in his cage, Angelus was pacing fiercely. He was angry. More angry than he could ever remember being.
This wasn't supposed to happen! Thanks to him and his big truth-telling mouth, Team Angel now knew just as much as he did about The Beast, and, worse yet, here he was stuck in a stupid impenetrable cell in a basement as their prisoner.
He'd tried to taunt them back, to rattle their nerves, but it was just so hard when you had to stick so firmly to the truth.
Naturally, he'd heard every word of their conversation to Willow, and that had been the last straw. It was time to make a jailbreak.
Going to the very back of his prison where the dark shadows concealed the secrets of the stonework much better than the forward areas, Angelus reached into the special niche in the wall where he'd stored the crowbar Lilah had dropped from an earlier visit. That was just before the Brady Bunch had so rudely barged in with the whole mission: soul. A moment sooner and he was sure they would've taken his little toy away from him.
Thinking dark thoughts, he went to work as quickly as he could on the lock; praying he'd have a chance to escape before Willow could arrive like he himself had so stupidly suggested.
I have to get out of here! He thought as the lock broke and fell to the floor with a clatter, I'm going to get out of here and break everyone of their necks!
He'd have his revenge for being humiliated. Torturing was fun, but only when he was on the giving end--not the receiving.
He could hear the group up there moving about. He was going to have to hurry.
Like a cold shadow of death he slid from his metal prison and hurried up the steps with the speed and liquid grace only a vampire possessed. Once he was up, he darted behind the first desk in sight. They never noticed.
Angelus's smile was absolutely murderous. These next few hours were going to be epic!
So I can't lie. That's not going to stop me from ripping their bloody throats out!
He had every chance right then to escape the building. Perhaps a wiser vampire would have. But Angelus was so enraged--and so caught up in his bloody thoughts of sweet revenge--that it never even occurred to him that maybe there was more to his curse than just honesty.
" Uh-oh! " Gunn exclaimed once he checked the monitor of the video camera surveying Angelus, " We have problems with a capital 'P'. Angelus pulled a Houdini! "
That changed the mood of the room in a hurry.
" What?! " Cordy gasped, " You mean he's free?! "
Everyone flocked over to the little monitor so fast they almost tripped one another in the process.
" Yep. Either free or invisible." Lorne replied glumly.
It was true. The surveillance camera looked down on an empty cell with an absent Angelus. A crowbar lay near a shattered lock on the floor telling the story.
" Oh man," Gunn moaned, " Who let Fangboy get ahold of a crowbar? This is not good."
" You think?! " Cordy threw, " You know what he's going to want to do to the people who forced him to tell the truth? "
Connor shrugged, the familiar scowl returned to his face. " We didn't actually force him…"
" Hey! I've got a really dumb question," Lorne interjected, " Where's Fred? "
Once Willow had been contacted, Fred had gone off down the halls of the hotel to answer nature's call. She intended to be right back--after all, it did seem a bit silly to tell everyone every time she had to use the bathroom regardless of apocalypses--and now she was on her way back to the main room.
She had barely left the bathroom when a hand reached out of a corner and snatched her by the throat.
" Eh!" Fred gasped in shock and surprise. Her eyes went wide with fear when she saw who the hand belonged to--Angelus. A very unhappy, very angry Angelus.
He was in full vamp face now, his fangs gleaming in anticipation of the kill.
A shrill scream escaped Fred's throat. How long had it been since Angelus had had human blood? She had a very sinking feeling it had been too long. He was going to drain her dry or snap her neck before her friends ever reached her.
She struggled in his grasp, but to no avail. The vampire was simply too strong.
" Hi Fred! " Angelus greeted, holding on tightly to his prey and clamping a cold hand over her mouth.
Here came the good part, the part he'd been waiting for!
Angelus lowered his head to bite into Fred's warm, blood-filled neck, then stopped.
His fangs were frozen an inch or so over her throat, and no matter how hard he tried to sink them in, he just couldn't. It wasn't that he didn't want to--every fiber of his being ached for it--he just physically couldn't. Some invisible barrier was holding him back.
Fred flinched. " What are you doing? "
Angelus was frustrated. " I'm trying to bite you…you girl! " His honesty curse kept him from calling Fred one of the many names he had in mind for her--none of which were true.
He tried harder--not that it did any good. It was as if someone else were controlling his head at that point.
Annoyed, he tried throttling her.
Fred couldn't believe it. She'd had necklaces that fitted around her throat tighter than Angelus's hands! The thing of it was--she could actually see his hands vibrating. She had no doubt in her mind that he wanted to hurt her, but he just didn't seem to be able to do it. His grip on her was powerful but gentle, and in no way painful.
Being a bright girl, Fred was quickly able to deduce--correctly--that Angelus was not only under a truth spell, but a non-violence spell on top of it!
This brightened her mood. " You can't hurt me, can you? " She asked, knowing Angelus's reply would have to be the truth.
" No, I don't seem to be able to, do I? " Angelus's voice cracked, a wild hiss of anger and frustration.
Fred actually began giggling. " What are you trying to do, choke me or coddle me? "
Just then the sounds of footsteps reverberated down the hall and seconds later Cordy and Wesley came into view, each brandishing a crossbow.
With a vicious snarl, Angelus released Fred--rather gently--and turned tail to run off down the hall.
" This is awful…for me! " He raged, turning a corner and disappearing from sight.
At the moment though, Wesley was more concerned about Fred. " Fred are you…? "
He stopped at the sound of Fred's wild laughter. " I'm fine Wes, just fine." She gestured the way Angelus had gone, " No need to fear the big bad vampire--he can't hurt anyone."
Wesley blinked. " Are you sure? "
" Pretty sure." She grinned, " Oh, he tried to hurt me, I'll give it an A for effort, but he himself admitted he just couldn't do it. That curse on him? I think there's an anti-violence hex working too."
Cordelia slapped a hand to her face, frustrated. " Well, that's nice to know, we've still gotta capture him."
However, that was not entirely the real reason she was upset.
Not only can I not tell a lie, but I can't hurt anyone either? Damn, someone really had it in for me big . Must escape this nightmare.
Angelus's brain was working overtime as he ran through the halls.
He had finally decided to call it quits and just get the hell out of there. After all, if he couldn't hurt anyone, how could he hope to avoid being captured--let alone strike fear into their hearts?
And it was just not fun to taunt people with the truth and cuddle-choke them on top of it.
Not scoring him points in the Big Bad book.
Whilst racing down the hall and through some of the doors, he tried to form a mental map inside his head.
Uttering a savage growl of disappointment, he spun around on his heel when he realized he was going in the complete wrong direction.
It was at that moment that Lindsey appeared from behind a door connecting to this particular corridor. He was holding a portfolio and some very important looking papers in one hand.
The crooked ex-Wolfram and Hart lawyer stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of Angelus.
His business here had not been strictly legal, and indeed he was very much up to date with the whole Angel-converting-back-to-Angelus deal. However, his superiors had assured him that Angelus was effectively out of action, and the reward they had offered for certain information had simply been too tempting. After all, these people always knew what they were doing.
Or did they?
Lindsey was starting to doubt it. Oh yes, he was starting to doubt it very much.
Worse, he knew just how bad Angelus could be. What had all those files said about him? That he was the scourge of Europe? And Angel had been no angel himself--and least not where Lindsey was concerned.
And Angelus did indeed look bloodthirsty coming at him right now.
Lindsey held up his one good hand--the one not preoccupied with papers. " Angelus! Wait! I…"
" Get out of my way! " Angelus snarled, " I'm in a very bad mood right now! " But he rushed forward so quickly that the stricken lawyer did not have time to move.
Wham!
Angelus hit an invisible barrier and flew backwards full-throttle to the floor, leaving Lindsey staring in amazement.
" What's going on? " He really didn't expect a straight answer; what with all the mind games Angelus was famous for playing.
Angelus sprang to his feet, his expression positively feral. " The main gist of it is that I'm under a spell where I can't lie or hurt anyone. And I hate telling the truth! I hate you too! "
For a moment, Lindsey was silent.
Then he totally lost it. This was too good! And it surely must be true--he'd seen the anti-violence barrier in action.
" You…can't lie or hurt anyone? Including me? " Lindsey was laughing so hard he could barely get the words out. Forgetting all about the papers he was holding--his very reason for coming to L.A., in fact--he dropped them to the floor.
" Yes! Including you, you crooked lawyer. Though I would very much love to tear your guts out and leave you to bleed to death right here right now."
Lindsey smiled, a cruel smirk transforming his face. " Crooked lawyer! You hurt my feelings."
Angelus was enraged. " Get out of my way! "
Lindsey shook his head. " What are you going to do if I don't? "
" What am I going to do? What am I going to do? " Angelus roared, balling his fists in anger, " I'm going to stand here and whine about it because you're blocking the only path out of here! I can't hurt you, and I just want to leave! "
Lindsey was loving this. " I see. But I'm afraid you're going to have to hurt me to move me."
" Maybe we can make a deal," Angelus tried, desperate, " You help me out here by moving out of my way, and when I lose the curse that's preventing me from harming or lying, I will still probably rip your guts out first chance I get. Wait! That's n….that is exactly what I meant! You can't trust me without this curse, I'm normally a manipulative cold-hearted killer who will do just about anything for my own amusement."
Angelus could've slapped himself. " Umm…maybe I could try and bribe you? "
Lindsey was too busy laughing to reply.
Angelus was annoyed. " Look, I may be in a bad predicament right now, but how do you suppose Angel Investigations is going to feel when they find you in here? "
Lindsey's laughter died in his throat.
That's right, there is still the rest of them to contend with… He suddenly didn't feel quite so perky.
Angelus smiled faintly. " I put them down before I had this little spell going on, but the truth of it is that Team Angel are very able fighters. You don't want to mess with them."
Well two can play at that game. " Oh yeah? " Lindsey scoffed, " Do you want to mess with them? "
Angel gave Lindsey a cold glare. " I want to mess with them, sure. But I can't. Not while I have this stupid spell going on. That is why I'm trying to leave. And you are not making it easy for me."
" Good." Lindsey snorted, " Because frankly, I just can't stand you. And whatever I can do to inconvenience you, I'm going to do it."
Anger rekindled, Angelus walked right into Lindsey and attempted to push him aside without hurting him.
Lindsey jumped back a bit and pulled out a stake.
Angelus's feral eyes lit up with rage and he backed off, hissing. " Just like you to do something like this! "
Lindsey grinned. " Let's see how well you know me…say, would I stake a defenseless vampire who's been an all-around pain in the butt to me for the past couple years? "
" Yes. I believe you would." Angelus turned and started running from Lindsey.
It was true that he could grab Lindsey's hand and probably wrestle the stake from him without hurting him, but what good would that do? Once he had the stake, it wasn't like he could do anything with it and it would just be a waste of time even if he prevented Lindsey from getting it back.
He had to lose this annoyance and find his way out of the hotel.
Lindsey gave chase, loving every moment of it. " And while we're at it, why was 'COPS SUCK' written on the back of my truck that one night? "
Angelus never broke stride, but he heard the question so he had to answer. " That was Angel's idea! Honestly! "
Buffy, Willow, and Spike pulled up in front of the Hyperion. They were fighting vampires the second they stepped out of the door.
Naturally, it was a short battle.
Buffy paused a moment, taking time to look around.
She couldn't stop from staring.
Fire, murder, chaos, and vampires and demons everywhere!
" Gee, Sunnydale's on a hell mouth, but this place looks like it's already been to Hell and back." The slayer commented.
Spike shook his head. " You haven't been to L.A. often, have you? Though I have to admit this is a little more hellish than I remember it."
Willow sighed. " Perpetual night--dang, they're in big. We'd better get to Angelus."
At this, Spike snickered, a devious grin upon his face. " Yeah, let's see how truthful the Poofster is! "
Buffy grinned in spite of herself. " Sounds like fun."
They entered the Hyperion.
" Hello? You ordered a witch? " Willow called.
There was no reply. A few tense seconds slipped by.
" Anyone home? " Buffy tried.
Silence.
" Well, ain't that all just something? " Spike groused, " Invite'n us over and no welcoming committee."
Willow frowned. " I hope I don't have to do a locator spell to find them ." She said, only half-joking.
That's when they heard a door open from somewhere upstairs, and Connor flew down the stairway, followed by Wesley, Cordy, Lorne, Fred, and Gunn.
" Terribly sorry to keep you waiting," Wesley explained, " but Angelus escaped . Oh. Hi, Buffy. Willow. Everyone." He gave a curt wave.
On the whole, the group did not seem all that worried about the situation--Fred was even giggling.
" Um…did I miss something? " Buffy wondered, " You don't seem very worried."
" Actually, the only thing we have to worry about is Angelus escaping the hotel." Fred said, " Being that he can't lie or hurt anyone."
Spike's eyes lit up with fiery glee. " He can't hurt anyone?! Cheers, the wanker's finally getting what's coming to him! Great to know there's still justice in the world. It doesn't get much better than this." He sounded positively ecstatic.
Buffy and Willow only laughed.
" Gee, he can't lie or hurt anyone? What a sissy!"
" I can do a spell to trap him in the hotel." Willow supplied, " It's not a hard one." She held up her bag of wiccan goodies in proud demonstration and headed for the main desk. " A good witch always comes prepared."
" Great, we'll all split up to look for him then." Wesley announced.
" Shouldn't be too hard since he can't hurt anyone." Gunn added with a grin.
" Those are the kinds of odds I like." Lorne agreed, " Speaking of odds, I wonder what kinds of odds the Big Bad's going to be at when we catch up to him? "
" Shall we find out? " Buffy laughed, heading off in the direction of the nearest door.
It was as if a gong had been bonged, and everyone raced off in different directions, only one thing on their minds: the finding and humiliating of Angelus.
Spike was perhaps the most eager. The way he saw it, an honest anti-violence Angelus was fair game, and it was just all too perfect of an opportunity to waste.
I may have had a chip, but at least I didn't have to tell the truth like a good little vampire, he thought as he raced off and through a door in he main lobby, I'm going to find that bloody poofster and rub it all in his face! Have a little fun with him before he gets all soul-like again.
It was no secret that Spike disliked both Angel and Angelus. And if he could have a little fun, by golly, he was going to do it!
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This fic has ended up being a bit longer than I expected…but it's been great fun! I had to find a way to write everyone in----couldn't have them all just appearing, y'know.
I will wrap it all up in the next chapter. The gang will, of course, find and trap Angelus. He will be forced to answer some very personal questions…buckle up, it's going to be the funniest chapter yet!
To all who review, you get my humble thanks and a big hug! You people are awesome! ;-)