Fred awoke from his coma in the Hospital Wing (where else?).
". . .hhhuhmm?. . ." he said articulately. Madam Pomfrey was composing a ballad on the topic of fat, juicy worms, so she did not hear him at first, "Where am I?"
"Worms, worms, fat and. . .Ah! You have awoken! You are in the House of Elrond. And it is ten o'clock in the morning, on September the twenty-fourth, if you wanted to know."
"Gandalf!" screamed Fred, but the noise was too much for him. He went back into his coma for another month.
"Woooorms! You are sweet!". . .
Meanwhile, Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape (I couldn't keep him out of the story any longer as he is THE BEST) was teaching his class using a dashing French accent, which made everyone fall in love with the ceiling, except Hermione, who liked Ron's hair better, and Gregory Goyle, who detested French people. The whole class began to dance to a lighthearted, quick-paced funeral march, which was (you guessed it) coming out of Harry's scar.
Ron was feeling PMS-y that day so he began to scream, "GET SOME PANTS ON!" to anyone who walked by. When he did this to Senor Snape, the entire class excommunicated him (except Hermione, who liked his hair). He decided to visit Fred. In the hall, he passed Professor McGonagall ("GET SOME PANTS ON!") and Mary Sue, who really didn't have any pants on ("GET SOME PANTS ON!").
Many "GET SOME PANTS ON!"s and halls later, he reached the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was absent from the room; she had left to pursue a musical career. Fred was the only person present.
"FRED! GET SOME PANTS ON!" Ron whispered affectionately. Fred awoke from his coma with a start (wait a minute-didn't I say that Fred was in a coma for another month?. . .Oh well, after all, all good fan fics don't hang together) and began reciting his timetables with his eyes crossed, nostrils flared, and hands up in the air (like ya just don't care).
"Why am I here?" he asked, after realizing he didn't know 3x4. And how was he supposed to? Hogwarts didn't offer math!
"The Slytherin feminists beat you up," said Ronaldo, "And then they tried to burn you at the stake, but your feet were fire proof," at this, Fred nodded wisely and did a ballet twirl while sitting down (which is an extremely hard feat to accomplish-try it, you'll see), "So then they hit you over the head with Professor Dumbledore. We didn't think you would survive it."
"Eureka!" said Fred placidly. He then cart wheeled out the door and all the way to the lake. For a few minutes the Giant Squid and he practiced their synchronized swimming until Percival Ignatius Weasel came riding by on a thestral.
"Percival, my brother! Why dost thou ride on mid air?" cried Fred.
"He dost not," said Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape, who had grown a merman tail and was swimming nearby, "It is a thestral he rides," Fred did not hear this monologue, however, because he shouted "SUPERCALIFRADULISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!" and disappeared. Snape, however, continued, "Yes, I have seen death. It haunts me wherever I roam. It was gruesome, yes. Oh! poor, sweet, noble, chivalrous Ichabod! You were such a great friend to me, and such a great. . .hamster! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DIDN"T MEAN TO KILL YOU, HAMMY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULDN"T FLY!" (I would like to take this moment to say that I love Snape. I make fun of him out of LOVE, and nothing else. To all you Snape-haters: BEGONE!). We now leave this poor, traumatized, fish-tailed soul to find our Beloved Main Character.
He had disappeared from the lake and appeared in the Entrance Hall with an elaborate tiara on his ankle. In the hall were many assorted individuals. There were two girls hugging (like friends sometimes do). Fred saw this and jumped out the window screaming, "I am a Homophobe!!!! AHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
In a few quick moments the Slytherin homosexuals (and several authors of slashy fanfics) had him dangling by his ankles from the Astronomy Tower.
He fell. Distantly, he could hear Ronaldo screaming, "GET SOME PANTS ON!" to innocent bystanders. Then, to the great disappointment of the aforementioned Slytherin homosexuals and slash writers, he survived the impact, though for the rest of his life, his nose was squashed into his head.
Thank you for reading my lovely little parody. I hope and pray that you enjoyed it! Also, I understand that homosexuality is a very touchy subject for some, so I am writing this note on the end. I love Fred, but I said he was a homophobe purely for comedy's sake. I am personally pro-homosexual (though heterosexual). All of those who are not may go. . .errrrr. . .well, you know. . .themselves.
I LOVE REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE JUST CLICKEY-CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON BELOW!!!!!! If you review, I will read your stories (or at least one of them). That is the way it works. Flames are welcome. I will laugh at them. Much Love and Peace, JuicyJuice
". . .hhhuhmm?. . ." he said articulately. Madam Pomfrey was composing a ballad on the topic of fat, juicy worms, so she did not hear him at first, "Where am I?"
"Worms, worms, fat and. . .Ah! You have awoken! You are in the House of Elrond. And it is ten o'clock in the morning, on September the twenty-fourth, if you wanted to know."
"Gandalf!" screamed Fred, but the noise was too much for him. He went back into his coma for another month.
"Woooorms! You are sweet!". . .
Meanwhile, Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape (I couldn't keep him out of the story any longer as he is THE BEST) was teaching his class using a dashing French accent, which made everyone fall in love with the ceiling, except Hermione, who liked Ron's hair better, and Gregory Goyle, who detested French people. The whole class began to dance to a lighthearted, quick-paced funeral march, which was (you guessed it) coming out of Harry's scar.
Ron was feeling PMS-y that day so he began to scream, "GET SOME PANTS ON!" to anyone who walked by. When he did this to Senor Snape, the entire class excommunicated him (except Hermione, who liked his hair). He decided to visit Fred. In the hall, he passed Professor McGonagall ("GET SOME PANTS ON!") and Mary Sue, who really didn't have any pants on ("GET SOME PANTS ON!").
Many "GET SOME PANTS ON!"s and halls later, he reached the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey was absent from the room; she had left to pursue a musical career. Fred was the only person present.
"FRED! GET SOME PANTS ON!" Ron whispered affectionately. Fred awoke from his coma with a start (wait a minute-didn't I say that Fred was in a coma for another month?. . .Oh well, after all, all good fan fics don't hang together) and began reciting his timetables with his eyes crossed, nostrils flared, and hands up in the air (like ya just don't care).
"Why am I here?" he asked, after realizing he didn't know 3x4. And how was he supposed to? Hogwarts didn't offer math!
"The Slytherin feminists beat you up," said Ronaldo, "And then they tried to burn you at the stake, but your feet were fire proof," at this, Fred nodded wisely and did a ballet twirl while sitting down (which is an extremely hard feat to accomplish-try it, you'll see), "So then they hit you over the head with Professor Dumbledore. We didn't think you would survive it."
"Eureka!" said Fred placidly. He then cart wheeled out the door and all the way to the lake. For a few minutes the Giant Squid and he practiced their synchronized swimming until Percival Ignatius Weasel came riding by on a thestral.
"Percival, my brother! Why dost thou ride on mid air?" cried Fred.
"He dost not," said Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape, who had grown a merman tail and was swimming nearby, "It is a thestral he rides," Fred did not hear this monologue, however, because he shouted "SUPERCALIFRADULISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!" and disappeared. Snape, however, continued, "Yes, I have seen death. It haunts me wherever I roam. It was gruesome, yes. Oh! poor, sweet, noble, chivalrous Ichabod! You were such a great friend to me, and such a great. . .hamster! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I DIDN"T MEAN TO KILL YOU, HAMMY! I DIDN'T KNOW YOU COULDN"T FLY!" (I would like to take this moment to say that I love Snape. I make fun of him out of LOVE, and nothing else. To all you Snape-haters: BEGONE!). We now leave this poor, traumatized, fish-tailed soul to find our Beloved Main Character.
He had disappeared from the lake and appeared in the Entrance Hall with an elaborate tiara on his ankle. In the hall were many assorted individuals. There were two girls hugging (like friends sometimes do). Fred saw this and jumped out the window screaming, "I am a Homophobe!!!! AHHHHH! NOOOOOOO!!!!!"
In a few quick moments the Slytherin homosexuals (and several authors of slashy fanfics) had him dangling by his ankles from the Astronomy Tower.
He fell. Distantly, he could hear Ronaldo screaming, "GET SOME PANTS ON!" to innocent bystanders. Then, to the great disappointment of the aforementioned Slytherin homosexuals and slash writers, he survived the impact, though for the rest of his life, his nose was squashed into his head.
Thank you for reading my lovely little parody. I hope and pray that you enjoyed it! Also, I understand that homosexuality is a very touchy subject for some, so I am writing this note on the end. I love Fred, but I said he was a homophobe purely for comedy's sake. I am personally pro-homosexual (though heterosexual). All of those who are not may go. . .errrrr. . .well, you know. . .themselves.
I LOVE REVIEWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE JUST CLICKEY-CLICK THE LITTLE BUTTON BELOW!!!!!! If you review, I will read your stories (or at least one of them). That is the way it works. Flames are welcome. I will laugh at them. Much Love and Peace, JuicyJuice