Frederick Weasley the Squash-Nosed was in the Hospital wing for weeks. His brother Georgiani Weasley the Frumd sat by his side the entire time, weeping and humming like a house elf on butterbeer. . .Speaking of which, Winky was now a millionaire actress. . .Anyhow, Mary Sue walked in and sang a song. Then she shot them both. They died. The end.

(Sighhhh, I'm just not being funny today. I can't help it and I apologize. . .Okay, I'm going to try that again. . .)

I lied, they did not die and she did not shoot them. It was an optical illusion. As a matter of fact, Mary Sue didn't even enter the hospital wing, she was too busy seducing Harry in a million other fanfics on this site. It's gotta be tough to be a Mary Sue. . .

Unbeknownst to all but me (and you, my Lovely Readers) the Nile River was planning an attack on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. This plan failed, however, because it evaporated at the sight of the European gerbils.

Okay, I give up on being funny. I'll try tomorrow. Goodbye now.