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The broken group walked for many miles through open grasslands before Aragorn became tired of carting Frodo around and called for a stop. Boromir and Aragorn dug a small pit and scattered dead grass and leaves about. "Are you making a fire?" Frodo asked.

Aragorn looked up from Boromir's really cool stone that could have been an arrowhead, "No. Why would we do that?"

Frodo tried to explain how the pit could be used for a fire, but Aragorn and Boromir had tired of their first hole and were on to another. Frodo shook his head and looked over the rest of the group. Legolas wandered towards the rushing river and vanished over the horizon. Gimli thought about telling the others for a moment, but decided against it. It's not as though they'd listen to him anyway. Sam and Merry collapsed onto the ground and passed out before Legolas was gone from sight. Pippin found a rather knobby stick lying in the grass and after warding off a few imaginary trolls started poking the two sleeping hobbits.

"Quick, someone get me some shaving cream," Pippin said.

Frodo, still recovering from the shock of losing his old friend, plunked onto the brown grass and stared off into the distance. His brain hung in limbo never really wanting to focus on a single thought for fear of the emotions it could drudge up. A slight itch brought his hand to his face and he realized his cheeks were drenched in tears although he could not remember crying.

"Hey Frodo, want to suddenly know everything about my past?" Mar called out cheerily as she sat down next to the small hobbit.

"No I really don't . . ." he wasn't fast enough to stop her (a very common problem with Frodo).

"Well, let's see. I don't really come from this place, I mean I'm from the real world that's in the future. That's where we can nuke food in a microwave and have moving ad's on buildings," Mar said as she stared at Frodo, causing the Hobbit to shiver uncontrollably.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Frodo said, but it couldn't stop Mar (see, what'd I tell you).

"Yeah I'm an orphan. At least I think I'm an orphan I don't really remember my past. I think I got a knock on the head and that gave me amnesia. Strangest thing, I can't remember my name or where I'm from or any of that. All I know is that that mine needs a good janitor."

"But I thought you told us your name was Mar how could . . ." Frodo attempted to ask.

"My parents never understood me. Sometimes I think I was switched at birth with another baby. Sure my sister was so perfect and all, and everyone loved her, but I could do neat things too. Magic things. In the real world I could change the channels on the TV without using the remote, just a long stick."

Frodo finally quit listening and tried to focus on Boromir and Aragorn who had now dug themselves about twelve different holes. This did nothing to stop Mar.

"I guess I'm so glad that I slipped into that garbage chute. It gave me a chance to get away from my dangerous time so I could come here and relax. Of course maybe it wasn't the garbage chute I should be thanking, maybe it was this magical fork I found in an archeological dig in Egypt," Mar held up that metallic object she had used to deflect the Orcs, "Well whatever it was, it can never help me remember what my name is . . ."

Frodo gave up trying to dissuade her, stood, and walked away. Mar kept on droning as though he had never left. With no destination really in mind, Frodo made his way to the river. He slumped down and sprayed a good deal of water onto his face.

A loud splashing caused Frodo to look up. He saw Legolas jumping and skipping in the water. His tunic was soaked through but he kept on cavorting in the river. When the Elf hopped his way to Frodo, he stopped splashing, his face falling into a frown instantly. "What's, what is the problem Frodo? Girl troubles," he said as sagely as the elf could pull off.

Frodo massaged his forehead, "Not really Legolas, I am beginning to question whether I am the right person to pull off such a dangerous quest."

"Well, uh, er, Frodo, you can't let your attraction get you down."

Frodo started, "What?! What attraction?"

Legolas ran a few feet onto shore and sat down to empty out his shoes, "You and Mar. I, uh, It's so obvious that you, um, like like her. It's just such a shame that you can't have her."

"Legolas, she is a danger to the entire fellowship and our quest. I do not understand why no one else is worried about her. If I had it my way she would have been left at Moria with her Orcs."

"Now now Frodo, calm yourself down. I can, uh, I can see that you need a little advice with your women troubles, and I 'm um going to help you out in the only way I know how: a song."

Frodo put up his hands trying to stop the elf but it was too late. Legolas walked in between two trees, which Frodo had not noticed before. The sunlight shone between them directly onto the elf.

Legolas stood calmly with his head bent and sang:

Here's my story, it's sad but true
It's about a girl that I once knew
She loved to follow me around
Enough to scare me out of town

A light drumbeat began and the other hobbits, along with Gimli, came kicklining behind Legolas. They were all wearing little black tuxedos and top hats. The hobbits happily sang, "Hey, hey Bumbadidadida" continuously behind the song. Gimli stood there staring dejectedly at his attire.

Legolas came in with a long inclusive "Whoa." The Hobbit kick line called out an "Ahhhh" leading Legolas into more lyrics:

I should have known it from the very start
This girl would not let us be apart
Now listen Frodo what I'm telling you
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

She's so shady perfect and pretty too
It's enough to make you wonder what she's up to
So if you don't wanna scream like I do
A-keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Legolas began to dance back and forth as the hobbits put on an interesting bit of choreography themselves. Gimli got pushed close to Legolas and the elf took this chance to remind him by hitting the dwarf in the head with a sword. Gimli mumbled out a "Bumbadidadida" and tried to get in step. Another round of "Ahhh's" from the group and Legolas was back, a microphone somehow appearing in his hand:

She likes to travel around, yeah
Never can she be put down
Now Frodo let me put you wise
Sue goes after certain guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I'm full of fear and my fear still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

Legolas leaned towards Frodo face, causing the Hobbit to inch backwards and spoke the lines:

Yeah keep away from this girl
I don't know what she'll do.
Keep away from Sue

The entire dancing and singing group joined in for the last chorus:

She likes to travel around
Never can she be put down
Now Frodo let me put you wise
She goes after certain guys
Here's the moral and the story from the guy who knows
I'm full of fear and my fear still grows
Ask any fool that she ever knew, they'll say
Keep away from-a Runaround Sue

The hobbits and Gimli spun around in circles to the closing music before disappearing off to somewhere. Legolas dropped his arms and the sun passed behind a few clouds. He asked Frodo, "So, do you understand what I am saying?"

Frodo, whose jaw was working double time, mumbled out, "Yes, I should have jumped off that bridge with Gandalf."