Only Human
An Ah! My Goddess Fanfic
By Roehl Sybing (indef@infinitedeferral.com)
Chapter Eleven: Bad Day
On their first run, they had beaten the fastest time by over a minute. Now they were trailing by fourteen seconds.
Belldandy, who had once been overwhelmed with fear, intimidation and despair, sometimes all at the same time, felt none of those emotions before her second and final run.
Someone had the upper hand on her, like never before. Her advantage over everyone else was quietly yet quickly taken away from her. She was angry. Though Belldandy had no emotional attachment to any of the competitors in the field, deep down her hope was that whoever led the pack would not be within sight of her at the moment.
Keiichi didn't pay any attention, though. He was working with his repair crew on some last-minute modifications to the vehicle, and simply making sure that they would be in top shape for the second run. The rush of adrenaline before an important race was familiar to him. Often times he would not know what to do with the intense feeling of anticipation and excitement. But today was race day, and the pressure fit Keiichi like comfortable shoes. His pace was a bit hurried and tensions were still running high, but he remained calm despite everything.
A large, iron hammer dropped to the ground beside him, just as he relayed final instructions to his fellow club members. From the direction that it was thrown, a violent storm centered around Belldandy. And since she didn't know what to do with herself as of late, taking her frustrations out on a small but heavy object taken from a toolbox seemed like the right thing to do.
"Belldandy--"
"I did everything right, I don't understand what happened!"
"Calm down, we have to get--"
"And I don't know how, but one way or another I'm going to--!"
"Belldandy!"
Keiichi planted his hands on her arms, trying to get her to stop. She was still fuming, but Belldandy always held herself in place for him.
"What do you want!?"
Time stood still at that moment.
"I'm sorry, Keiichi," Belldandy swiftly replied in her quietest voice, a stark turnaround from the temper she was just carrying. "Did you want something?" she asked quite calmly.
"I--uh--um--" stammered Keiichi. "I was just about to say that we have to go now."
She looked at him blankly, "Really?" Taking a look over his shoulder, she saw the vehicle all prepped and ready to go, flanked by most of the club membership. "Well, I guess it's time then!" she replied, genuinely all smiles.
Belldandy took Keiichi by the hand on that note, but he wouldn't budge, as he reviewed in his mind what had just transpired.
"Don't worry, Keiichi," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I wore myself out after I threw that hammer onto the ground."
"And after--?"
"Oh, that? I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just pretended angry. I don't know now, but it seemed like the thing to do."
"Huh?"
"C'mon, we gotta get going!"
---
The crowd was at a fever pitch as Nekomi geared up for its final run through the course. The spectators were assured of a real treat, as the competition saved its best for last. With Keiichi and Belldandy piloting the vehicle, the club was a certain lock to win it all.
Skuld knew better than that, and yet she still favored her elder sister. After twice getting in the way of the repair crew in between runs, she was relegated to watching from a distance. It didn't make any difference; she loved to watch Belldandy race. She loved to watch Belldandy do anything, for that matter. And whatever the circumstances, Skuld never discounted her sister for a moment. Belldandy was human, but, to Skuld, she was the brightest, most promising human on the racegrounds.
"Aren't you going to watch?" she asked.
Urd replied, "In a moment! I'm off to get the beer for everyone to celebrate!"
Skuld looked at her sister in disgust, "How can you even think of missing the race?"
"Well, we're going to win, aren't we?"
The goddess walked away shrugging her shoulders, despite all the pouting her younger sister did behind her back. Urd figured that she should be watching in any case. A million things could go wrong and the race was hardly won at the moment. And, as she had begrudgingly shown over the past few days, she loved Belldandy more than anyone else that knew her. As a human, she was a whole new Belldandy, and yet quite the same underneath all of her irrepressible emotions and unchecked behavior. A curiosity to others, perhaps, but a cause of grave concern to Urd, who knew from past experience what it was like to be mortal, all vulnerable and imperfect. Still, her younger sister was right; Belldandy didn't need any protection. Whatever happens, she would deal with it. Among other things, she never lost her resolve.
And since they were going to win anyways, Urd felt the urgent compulsion to break out the drinks.
She walked in front of and right past the Assistant. And while trouble swirled in a halo around the mysterious, grim messenger, the Assistant was lost in her own little world, unconcerned with Belldandy's elder sister for the moment.
The Assistant wasn't convinced. At least that was what she told herself. But she had to remind herself every few moments that the whole proposition of being part of the system was not about self-interest, but rather an infinite concern and compassion for others. And Belldandy walking around as a human being, trying to pretend to be one of them. It was bad enough that a careless wish kept her anchored to the Earth and to a simple, unremarkable mortal, but now she was exactly like them. It angered her so much, in fact, that she just had to persuade the Almighty to send her down to perform the inquiry.
Now things weren't so clear. The Assistant had only been there for three days, but while she hadn't yet caught on, she understood that there was a certain...rustic appeal to being among humans. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, and until she understood it, she could maintain her opposition to Belldandy's defiance.
In the meantime, though, the Assistant was quietly supporting her to win.
---
"I think, no matter what happens, you've all done very well," Keiichi said to all, "We've built a great machine and we've ran a great race. Party back at the clubhouse tonight!"
The entire Nekomi delegation erupted in jubilation. To Keiichi, it felt good to get them going. Belldandy had done it so often that, even as leader, his only real responsibility over time was to just run the race.
"Well, that was the hard part," he said to Belldandy as they walked to the vehicle.
"I suppose so."
"Well, you should. You used to always have something helpful to say."
"Nah," Belldandy replied, shaking her head before donning her helmet, "Not anymore. I just want to ride."
Keiichi lowered her down into her seat. She would not see him flash a smile of agreement and sport a nod of the head as he settled himself into the vehicle.
---
Slowly, they rolled the machine to the starting line, but long before that, they were already feeling the hopes and support of the entire club riding on their backs. But the pressure didn't come from them.
Keiichi didn't know what had really transpired between Belldandy and the Assistant. To him, this was just another race to win, and he so loved to win. But to Belldandy, a great deal of pride, much more than in competitions past, was on the line, and a lot of that came from showing up another former goddess that thought very little of her recent decisions. She got a glimpse of the Assistant, who observed from afar. The expression on her face was a mystery. Finding out if Belldandy had convinced her would have to wait until after the race. All the better, she supposed. The second run would give her one more chance to prove herself worthy, without the benefit of being a goddess. Never before had she wanted to win so badly.
"Start!"
The couple took off, and by now, after a full day and a half of running through the same course on the same vehicle, the second run was nothing but a sure thing. Keiichi and Belldandy were exhausted, at times discouraged, and often in pain, either by physical fatigue or emotional distress. But they remained determined to finish what they had started, and finish on top.
By the first few turns, Belldandy was grinning underneath her visor. The speed was up to Keiichi's discretion, but the turning was her responsibility. To her surprise, the curves were taken with nothing but instinct, and the vehicle responded to her in perfect form. For the first time as a human, she felt the same way as when she raced as a goddess with Keiichi. The calculations of piloting the turns and straightaways were second nature, and her reactions to the course, to the vehicle and to her partner were quick and smooth. With her mind off the the complications of racing, Belldandy could now live in the moment. The wind that whipped across her body, the grip of the handlebars at the palms of her hands, that feeling of exhilaration in the pit of her stomach, they all felt good. They were what riding under pressure used to be before her transition.
"I'm going to win, Keiichi," she said underneath her helmet.
When Belldandy felt like this, she could take risks, worthwhile risks that gave her an even better edge in this competition. She knew where the turns were and how sharp they were, and all of her fears were conquered. And when the giant curve more than halfway through the course was more than beaten, Belldandy already felt as if the win was hers. Now she was determined to make it a grand performance for everyone to remember.
Much like everything else as of late, the experience was intense, but only one thing she did that day was more exciting, or more satisfying, than this. Belldandy was enjoying herself, and when her newfound humanity made such a feeling all the scarce, it became much more rewarding. Save for her beloved partner, she was doing it all by herself. No tricks, no magic, no special powers. Nothing more than raw resolve and acquired skill was needed to conquer the most complicated twists in the course.
The last bit of adversity left for Belldandy to face lay not with the Assistant, or her sisters, or with anyone else. Her heart beat profusely, almost begging her to quit. Belldandy couldn't stop now. In her mind, to her estimation, she had already beaten the clock, and there was not much more to go. But Belldandy had to finish. The race was to be won by crossing the finish line. With four turns still left in the course, she couldn't just put all of the burden on Keiichi.
Nonetheless, Belldandy was tired. On the last major straightaway, she tried to remember the order. Left, left, right, left...or was it right, right, left, right? The first one would be just over a small hill, just large enough to conceal what lay ahead. Then she blinked twice, and remembered an old trick. The visor on Keiichi's helmet was dark, but not dark enough to conceal his eyes. They were looking away from her, a sign that he anticipated a turn to the left.
But a turn to the right it was, when a blink of the eyes shifted his gaze in Belldandy's direction.
She gasped out loud, even though it would not be heard above the sound of the engine. She had performed the turn with ease. The rest of the order, fitting a minimal pattern that Belldandy had memorized, fell into place with great simplicity.
If she could wipe the sweat from her brow, she would. The worst of it was over. Belldandy was ready to pounce on the victory. A final burst of speed from her partner as they rocketed over the finish line, and the race was complete.
---
When it was over, Belldandy had collapsed into her seat. The last of her strength was reserved simply for breathing and whatever movements were necessary for her not to fall into unconsciousness. She was happy, but she was tired. Keiichi's voice echoed in her ears.
"Come on, now."
"A moment, Keiichi."
"Alright," he said somberly, "It was a good race, though."
"Yeah, it was."
Then she held her breath.
"What do you mean?"
Keiichi turned around, "Huh?"
"You said, 'It was a good race, though.' What do you mean?"
He was at a loss for words. He thought that it could not have been more obvious, so obvious that he felt he didn't need to break it to Belldandy until now.
"I'm sorry, Bell," Keiichi said, "We didn't cut it."
He must've been mistaken, Belldandy thought. Then she looked at the clock above the leaderboard. It read a peculiar sight. She knew it must have been wrong or someone had failed to properly keep time, because it was more than a few seconds slower than their first run.
---
The clubhouse was open. The refreshments were laid out. The karaoke machine was on. Second place was such an unfamiliar position for the Nekomi Motor Club that they didn't know what to do in case they hadn't won. And so the victory party went on as scheduled.
"It's time to party!" was the cheer, followed by fanfare and plenty of drinking to go around. The whole place was lit up for their usual celebratory ritual, both for the new members among the university students that had attended the race, and all the old members looking for an excuse to party. Almost everyone was in attendance; Sora was behind the microphone, Chihiro had drawn herself into a drinking match with two other members, while Urd was just plain getting drunk.
One certain club member, on the other hand, made herself scarce shortly after the festivities had begun.
---
"Belldandy?" Keiichi said, sitting next to her on the bench outside the clubhouse.
She looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry," Belldandy said, "I'm not really in the mood for a party."
"Don't be silly, everyone's in there. They're all waiting for you."
"Hmph, what could they possibly want for me after today?"
"Belldandy, please don't look like that--Belldandy! Where are you going?"
"I just need to be alone for awhile, that's all."
"But it's dark and cold out here," he said, making her stop, "Say, why don't the two of us go home early, what do you think?"
She walked around in circles, going over in her head what might have gone wrong.
"I had that race nailed, Keiichi. That course was mine."
"I know it was, Bell. It happens sometimes."
"Not to me, it doesn't!" she retorted, as the fire in her eyes remained long after the race was over. Fortunately for Keiichi, the burning anger had left her, leaving only a sense of deep determination even after the battle had been lost.
Belldandy bit her lip, and said softly, "I know I can still do it."
It was then that Keiichi stood up to her, "Belldandy. It's time to go inside. There will be other races. Really!"
She looked at his smiling face. She never doubted his sincerity, and despite any desire to do as she wanted, she could never refuse him. Belldandy nodded her head slightly, and followed him back into the clubhouse.
---
The door closed behind Belldandy, and for a brief moment she put away her frustration when the entire clubhouse lit up when it became known that she was in the room. Streamers and confetti filled the air, regardless of the result, simply because she and Keiichi were their best chance at victory, and no one would ever come close to their performances in any competition.
Conciliatory words met Belldandy as they made their way across the room.
"You'll do better next time!"
"You did your best!"
"Don't worry about it, it was a good race!"
It irritated her. Not the people that said it, but that the result she put up on behalf of Keiichi and the club compelled her to hear what she didn't want to hear. Still, Belldandy feigned a smile. She was so deflated after such bitter disappointment that she did not feel at all well inside, causing her to sit down at one table.
"Do you want something to drink?" Keiichi asked.
Her smile was gone by the time of his question. Belldandy clutched her hair, and shook her head, "Thank you. I'll get something if I need it."
"Alright," he replied, sitting down next to her. And while the music played on, they remained silent to each other, as one searched for the right words to say, and the other, by saying nothing and intending to say nothing at all, declined to be the least bit diplomatic. In the meantime, Keiichi was sizing up just how big the loss was to Belldandy.
"Big Sister!" a voice called out from among the small crowd. Once she was seen, Skuld led Chihiro by the hand to Belldandy and Keiichi. Sure enough, Skuld felt just like her elder sister. "How can anyone party at a time like this?"
"It's alright, Skuld. Let them," Belldandy replied tersely. Her eyes remained pointed to the ground.
"So how are you doing?" Chihiro asked, "First loss is always the toughest, I figure."
"Well, now I know how it feels."
Keiichi spoke up, "I've been trying to tell her that she did her best back there."
"Yes, I know," she snapped, "I just don't have to like it, that's all."
The four of them remained in place. Seeing how it couldn't possibly be Belldandy who stepped over the line, the rest wondered who among them was the culprit with the ill-timed remark.
"Why don't you come with me," Chihiro said to Skuld, "Let's go get you some dessert or something."
Skuld resisted, "But what about Sis--"
"Just follow me, kid."
"Hey, I'm not a ki--!"
"Skuld!"
Belldandy, ready to fire, stopped herself in her tracks. Though she was quite agitated, a directive, reinforced over the last few days, repeated in the back of her mind. Don't snap at Skuld. Ever.
"Please go with Chihiro for awhile," she said softly, "I'll find you later."
The youngest of the four looked at Chihiro, then at Belldandy. She complied reluctantly as she was taken by the hand.
"Oh, Keiichi," Chihiro said, "There are a couple of students up front that want to become members. Could you please make sure they're signed up?"
Keiichi nodded, "Sure."
Then looking to Belldandy, "You'll stay here?"
"Mm-hmm."
Left by herself, she took a cup of water that was within reach from where she sat. Belldandy coddled the drink for awhile. She was not angry. And she didn't have any tears. In her mind, she was going over her strategy during the race. She was not fast enough, and it wasn't even Keiichi's fault. Her turns had to be sharper, simply as that. Once then, she knew that she could duplicate and even improve on her initial run. If she were not so tired at this point, she would have done so with Keiichi's motorcycle.
"May I?"
Belldandy looked up, only to see the Assistant standing across the table from her.
"Those are the clothes of an Earther," Belldandy said, examining her casual dress taken on to blend in with everyone else, "They don't suit you."
"All the kindness in the universe, Belldandy. Is there none for me?" the Assistant asked, seating herself.
"I'm sorry, I was trying my hand at humor. What could you possibly want?" she said curtly.
The Assistant sighed. She said genuinely, "I don't want to fight."
"Well, that's a relief."
"I just wanted to say...you ran a very good race."
Begrudgingly, Belldandy nodded her head, "Thank you."
"But it's over."
"Like my Keiichi said, there will be other races."
"No, I mean, it's over. I have made my final recommendation to the Almighty. I didn't want to inform you until after you've won, but now..."
She stopped in mid-sentence, as if the next word would take her over a precipice and into a very deep hole. She knew it was her job, but never before had she resented it as she did now. Belldandy was right, but the Assistant had an inquiry to finish.
They looked at each other, one uncertain and uneasy about what was to be said by the other.
"Please, just say it."
The Assistant exhaled, reluctant to get it done with. "Very well," she said finally underneath the music, "Goddess First Class Belldandy, I am ordering you to undergo the reversal in three days. I must have your decision in two. Failure to comply will result in the unconditional cancellation of your license."
Nothing that she hadn't heard already, Belldandy thought. She was quite willing to break with it all; perhaps less so at the moment because of the competition, but she remained quite adamant about what she wanted.
"I thought you understood," Belldandy said.
The Assistant leaned in closer to her. "Belldandy," she replied, "There's more."
Belldandy looked up at her.
"Whether you remain human or become a goddess again is up to you, but in seventy-two hours I am recalling your sisters in either event. This will be a permanent transfer."
Her face fell again. Belldandy turned away, trying to piece it all together. It was too much to take in at once. She shook her head, and said with a taint of vengeance on her lips, "I'll fight you."
"You can't," the Assistant replied blankly, "I speak for the Almighty. My authority is absolute. I admit, this has not been an easy case for me to decide, but this is the best solution for everyone. Your sisters' recalls are mandatory. I am giving you three days to put your affairs in order."
The room was silent for both of them. Belldandy was devastated.
"Of course, the only way you can ever return to the heavens and see them again...is if you end this and renounce your humanity."
That, of course, became the last insult. Belldandy shot up like a dart, as the party music filled the clubhouse once again. "Not if I have anything to say about it," she said, walking past the Assistant and storming out of the clubhouse.
---
The outside air was a bit thinner, all of a sudden. Belldandy couldn't breathe. She was being forced to do that which she refused to do. One way or another, this was a punishment. She was absolutely sure that they would not let her remain as she was now. And in any case, she would lose her sisters in the process. When faced with circumstances such as these, it was difficult for Belldandy to be what she was taught to be. She had every right now to be irrational and emotional about her situation.
Keiichi was too busy to talk at the moment. There was only other one thing in the world that could distract her and take her mind off of her troubles.
---
Keiichi had long since delegated the new membership duties to Sora. Now he was making sure that everyone was having a good time. He kept a sharp eye out, though. The Assistant, for one, and Urd, just to make sure she's not causing more than the usual amount of chaos. Chihiro had found Skuld some ice cream, so that was at least one less worry in the mix.
This was a party, of course. Everyone was having a good time, and that was all that matters. It was a difficult field of competitors to contend with, Keiichi thought, and he couldn't win them all. Underestimating her reaction to the loss, he had hoped that the party would lift Belldandy's spirits.
Where was Belldandy? He asked himself the question a few times as the sound of screeching tires came before a loud crash that shook even the walls of the clubhouse.
---
It was a simple enough mistake. She didn't intend it at all. Belldandy had turned too sharply. She wanted to prove it to herself that she was worthy, but more importantly, she just wanted to get one last twinge of excitement up her spine, seeing as how moments like these were, all of a sudden, running out. But she had turned too sharply, and only the markers and traffic cones on the test course remained, having had all of the safety barriers taken away by sunset.
The motorcycle lay a bit of a distance from her. Much similar to the bike, Belldandy lay flat on the ground, arms spread out and her left foot moving back and forth, just so that she could be sure that she could move it at all. It was difficult for her to breathe. And it had become so cold all of a sudden.
"So tired," Belldandy said, struggling mightily to cry for help as she inevitably drifted into unconsciousness.
TO BE CONTINUED.
An Ah! My Goddess Fanfic
By Roehl Sybing (indef@infinitedeferral.com)
Chapter Eleven: Bad Day
On their first run, they had beaten the fastest time by over a minute. Now they were trailing by fourteen seconds.
Belldandy, who had once been overwhelmed with fear, intimidation and despair, sometimes all at the same time, felt none of those emotions before her second and final run.
Someone had the upper hand on her, like never before. Her advantage over everyone else was quietly yet quickly taken away from her. She was angry. Though Belldandy had no emotional attachment to any of the competitors in the field, deep down her hope was that whoever led the pack would not be within sight of her at the moment.
Keiichi didn't pay any attention, though. He was working with his repair crew on some last-minute modifications to the vehicle, and simply making sure that they would be in top shape for the second run. The rush of adrenaline before an important race was familiar to him. Often times he would not know what to do with the intense feeling of anticipation and excitement. But today was race day, and the pressure fit Keiichi like comfortable shoes. His pace was a bit hurried and tensions were still running high, but he remained calm despite everything.
A large, iron hammer dropped to the ground beside him, just as he relayed final instructions to his fellow club members. From the direction that it was thrown, a violent storm centered around Belldandy. And since she didn't know what to do with herself as of late, taking her frustrations out on a small but heavy object taken from a toolbox seemed like the right thing to do.
"Belldandy--"
"I did everything right, I don't understand what happened!"
"Calm down, we have to get--"
"And I don't know how, but one way or another I'm going to--!"
"Belldandy!"
Keiichi planted his hands on her arms, trying to get her to stop. She was still fuming, but Belldandy always held herself in place for him.
"What do you want!?"
Time stood still at that moment.
"I'm sorry, Keiichi," Belldandy swiftly replied in her quietest voice, a stark turnaround from the temper she was just carrying. "Did you want something?" she asked quite calmly.
"I--uh--um--" stammered Keiichi. "I was just about to say that we have to go now."
She looked at him blankly, "Really?" Taking a look over his shoulder, she saw the vehicle all prepped and ready to go, flanked by most of the club membership. "Well, I guess it's time then!" she replied, genuinely all smiles.
Belldandy took Keiichi by the hand on that note, but he wouldn't budge, as he reviewed in his mind what had just transpired.
"Don't worry, Keiichi," she said in a matter-of-fact tone, "I wore myself out after I threw that hammer onto the ground."
"And after--?"
"Oh, that? I didn't know what to do with myself, so I just pretended angry. I don't know now, but it seemed like the thing to do."
"Huh?"
"C'mon, we gotta get going!"
---
The crowd was at a fever pitch as Nekomi geared up for its final run through the course. The spectators were assured of a real treat, as the competition saved its best for last. With Keiichi and Belldandy piloting the vehicle, the club was a certain lock to win it all.
Skuld knew better than that, and yet she still favored her elder sister. After twice getting in the way of the repair crew in between runs, she was relegated to watching from a distance. It didn't make any difference; she loved to watch Belldandy race. She loved to watch Belldandy do anything, for that matter. And whatever the circumstances, Skuld never discounted her sister for a moment. Belldandy was human, but, to Skuld, she was the brightest, most promising human on the racegrounds.
"Aren't you going to watch?" she asked.
Urd replied, "In a moment! I'm off to get the beer for everyone to celebrate!"
Skuld looked at her sister in disgust, "How can you even think of missing the race?"
"Well, we're going to win, aren't we?"
The goddess walked away shrugging her shoulders, despite all the pouting her younger sister did behind her back. Urd figured that she should be watching in any case. A million things could go wrong and the race was hardly won at the moment. And, as she had begrudgingly shown over the past few days, she loved Belldandy more than anyone else that knew her. As a human, she was a whole new Belldandy, and yet quite the same underneath all of her irrepressible emotions and unchecked behavior. A curiosity to others, perhaps, but a cause of grave concern to Urd, who knew from past experience what it was like to be mortal, all vulnerable and imperfect. Still, her younger sister was right; Belldandy didn't need any protection. Whatever happens, she would deal with it. Among other things, she never lost her resolve.
And since they were going to win anyways, Urd felt the urgent compulsion to break out the drinks.
She walked in front of and right past the Assistant. And while trouble swirled in a halo around the mysterious, grim messenger, the Assistant was lost in her own little world, unconcerned with Belldandy's elder sister for the moment.
The Assistant wasn't convinced. At least that was what she told herself. But she had to remind herself every few moments that the whole proposition of being part of the system was not about self-interest, but rather an infinite concern and compassion for others. And Belldandy walking around as a human being, trying to pretend to be one of them. It was bad enough that a careless wish kept her anchored to the Earth and to a simple, unremarkable mortal, but now she was exactly like them. It angered her so much, in fact, that she just had to persuade the Almighty to send her down to perform the inquiry.
Now things weren't so clear. The Assistant had only been there for three days, but while she hadn't yet caught on, she understood that there was a certain...rustic appeal to being among humans. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, and until she understood it, she could maintain her opposition to Belldandy's defiance.
In the meantime, though, the Assistant was quietly supporting her to win.
---
"I think, no matter what happens, you've all done very well," Keiichi said to all, "We've built a great machine and we've ran a great race. Party back at the clubhouse tonight!"
The entire Nekomi delegation erupted in jubilation. To Keiichi, it felt good to get them going. Belldandy had done it so often that, even as leader, his only real responsibility over time was to just run the race.
"Well, that was the hard part," he said to Belldandy as they walked to the vehicle.
"I suppose so."
"Well, you should. You used to always have something helpful to say."
"Nah," Belldandy replied, shaking her head before donning her helmet, "Not anymore. I just want to ride."
Keiichi lowered her down into her seat. She would not see him flash a smile of agreement and sport a nod of the head as he settled himself into the vehicle.
---
Slowly, they rolled the machine to the starting line, but long before that, they were already feeling the hopes and support of the entire club riding on their backs. But the pressure didn't come from them.
Keiichi didn't know what had really transpired between Belldandy and the Assistant. To him, this was just another race to win, and he so loved to win. But to Belldandy, a great deal of pride, much more than in competitions past, was on the line, and a lot of that came from showing up another former goddess that thought very little of her recent decisions. She got a glimpse of the Assistant, who observed from afar. The expression on her face was a mystery. Finding out if Belldandy had convinced her would have to wait until after the race. All the better, she supposed. The second run would give her one more chance to prove herself worthy, without the benefit of being a goddess. Never before had she wanted to win so badly.
"Start!"
The couple took off, and by now, after a full day and a half of running through the same course on the same vehicle, the second run was nothing but a sure thing. Keiichi and Belldandy were exhausted, at times discouraged, and often in pain, either by physical fatigue or emotional distress. But they remained determined to finish what they had started, and finish on top.
By the first few turns, Belldandy was grinning underneath her visor. The speed was up to Keiichi's discretion, but the turning was her responsibility. To her surprise, the curves were taken with nothing but instinct, and the vehicle responded to her in perfect form. For the first time as a human, she felt the same way as when she raced as a goddess with Keiichi. The calculations of piloting the turns and straightaways were second nature, and her reactions to the course, to the vehicle and to her partner were quick and smooth. With her mind off the the complications of racing, Belldandy could now live in the moment. The wind that whipped across her body, the grip of the handlebars at the palms of her hands, that feeling of exhilaration in the pit of her stomach, they all felt good. They were what riding under pressure used to be before her transition.
"I'm going to win, Keiichi," she said underneath her helmet.
When Belldandy felt like this, she could take risks, worthwhile risks that gave her an even better edge in this competition. She knew where the turns were and how sharp they were, and all of her fears were conquered. And when the giant curve more than halfway through the course was more than beaten, Belldandy already felt as if the win was hers. Now she was determined to make it a grand performance for everyone to remember.
Much like everything else as of late, the experience was intense, but only one thing she did that day was more exciting, or more satisfying, than this. Belldandy was enjoying herself, and when her newfound humanity made such a feeling all the scarce, it became much more rewarding. Save for her beloved partner, she was doing it all by herself. No tricks, no magic, no special powers. Nothing more than raw resolve and acquired skill was needed to conquer the most complicated twists in the course.
The last bit of adversity left for Belldandy to face lay not with the Assistant, or her sisters, or with anyone else. Her heart beat profusely, almost begging her to quit. Belldandy couldn't stop now. In her mind, to her estimation, she had already beaten the clock, and there was not much more to go. But Belldandy had to finish. The race was to be won by crossing the finish line. With four turns still left in the course, she couldn't just put all of the burden on Keiichi.
Nonetheless, Belldandy was tired. On the last major straightaway, she tried to remember the order. Left, left, right, left...or was it right, right, left, right? The first one would be just over a small hill, just large enough to conceal what lay ahead. Then she blinked twice, and remembered an old trick. The visor on Keiichi's helmet was dark, but not dark enough to conceal his eyes. They were looking away from her, a sign that he anticipated a turn to the left.
But a turn to the right it was, when a blink of the eyes shifted his gaze in Belldandy's direction.
She gasped out loud, even though it would not be heard above the sound of the engine. She had performed the turn with ease. The rest of the order, fitting a minimal pattern that Belldandy had memorized, fell into place with great simplicity.
If she could wipe the sweat from her brow, she would. The worst of it was over. Belldandy was ready to pounce on the victory. A final burst of speed from her partner as they rocketed over the finish line, and the race was complete.
---
When it was over, Belldandy had collapsed into her seat. The last of her strength was reserved simply for breathing and whatever movements were necessary for her not to fall into unconsciousness. She was happy, but she was tired. Keiichi's voice echoed in her ears.
"Come on, now."
"A moment, Keiichi."
"Alright," he said somberly, "It was a good race, though."
"Yeah, it was."
Then she held her breath.
"What do you mean?"
Keiichi turned around, "Huh?"
"You said, 'It was a good race, though.' What do you mean?"
He was at a loss for words. He thought that it could not have been more obvious, so obvious that he felt he didn't need to break it to Belldandy until now.
"I'm sorry, Bell," Keiichi said, "We didn't cut it."
He must've been mistaken, Belldandy thought. Then she looked at the clock above the leaderboard. It read a peculiar sight. She knew it must have been wrong or someone had failed to properly keep time, because it was more than a few seconds slower than their first run.
---
The clubhouse was open. The refreshments were laid out. The karaoke machine was on. Second place was such an unfamiliar position for the Nekomi Motor Club that they didn't know what to do in case they hadn't won. And so the victory party went on as scheduled.
"It's time to party!" was the cheer, followed by fanfare and plenty of drinking to go around. The whole place was lit up for their usual celebratory ritual, both for the new members among the university students that had attended the race, and all the old members looking for an excuse to party. Almost everyone was in attendance; Sora was behind the microphone, Chihiro had drawn herself into a drinking match with two other members, while Urd was just plain getting drunk.
One certain club member, on the other hand, made herself scarce shortly after the festivities had begun.
---
"Belldandy?" Keiichi said, sitting next to her on the bench outside the clubhouse.
She looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry," Belldandy said, "I'm not really in the mood for a party."
"Don't be silly, everyone's in there. They're all waiting for you."
"Hmph, what could they possibly want for me after today?"
"Belldandy, please don't look like that--Belldandy! Where are you going?"
"I just need to be alone for awhile, that's all."
"But it's dark and cold out here," he said, making her stop, "Say, why don't the two of us go home early, what do you think?"
She walked around in circles, going over in her head what might have gone wrong.
"I had that race nailed, Keiichi. That course was mine."
"I know it was, Bell. It happens sometimes."
"Not to me, it doesn't!" she retorted, as the fire in her eyes remained long after the race was over. Fortunately for Keiichi, the burning anger had left her, leaving only a sense of deep determination even after the battle had been lost.
Belldandy bit her lip, and said softly, "I know I can still do it."
It was then that Keiichi stood up to her, "Belldandy. It's time to go inside. There will be other races. Really!"
She looked at his smiling face. She never doubted his sincerity, and despite any desire to do as she wanted, she could never refuse him. Belldandy nodded her head slightly, and followed him back into the clubhouse.
---
The door closed behind Belldandy, and for a brief moment she put away her frustration when the entire clubhouse lit up when it became known that she was in the room. Streamers and confetti filled the air, regardless of the result, simply because she and Keiichi were their best chance at victory, and no one would ever come close to their performances in any competition.
Conciliatory words met Belldandy as they made their way across the room.
"You'll do better next time!"
"You did your best!"
"Don't worry about it, it was a good race!"
It irritated her. Not the people that said it, but that the result she put up on behalf of Keiichi and the club compelled her to hear what she didn't want to hear. Still, Belldandy feigned a smile. She was so deflated after such bitter disappointment that she did not feel at all well inside, causing her to sit down at one table.
"Do you want something to drink?" Keiichi asked.
Her smile was gone by the time of his question. Belldandy clutched her hair, and shook her head, "Thank you. I'll get something if I need it."
"Alright," he replied, sitting down next to her. And while the music played on, they remained silent to each other, as one searched for the right words to say, and the other, by saying nothing and intending to say nothing at all, declined to be the least bit diplomatic. In the meantime, Keiichi was sizing up just how big the loss was to Belldandy.
"Big Sister!" a voice called out from among the small crowd. Once she was seen, Skuld led Chihiro by the hand to Belldandy and Keiichi. Sure enough, Skuld felt just like her elder sister. "How can anyone party at a time like this?"
"It's alright, Skuld. Let them," Belldandy replied tersely. Her eyes remained pointed to the ground.
"So how are you doing?" Chihiro asked, "First loss is always the toughest, I figure."
"Well, now I know how it feels."
Keiichi spoke up, "I've been trying to tell her that she did her best back there."
"Yes, I know," she snapped, "I just don't have to like it, that's all."
The four of them remained in place. Seeing how it couldn't possibly be Belldandy who stepped over the line, the rest wondered who among them was the culprit with the ill-timed remark.
"Why don't you come with me," Chihiro said to Skuld, "Let's go get you some dessert or something."
Skuld resisted, "But what about Sis--"
"Just follow me, kid."
"Hey, I'm not a ki--!"
"Skuld!"
Belldandy, ready to fire, stopped herself in her tracks. Though she was quite agitated, a directive, reinforced over the last few days, repeated in the back of her mind. Don't snap at Skuld. Ever.
"Please go with Chihiro for awhile," she said softly, "I'll find you later."
The youngest of the four looked at Chihiro, then at Belldandy. She complied reluctantly as she was taken by the hand.
"Oh, Keiichi," Chihiro said, "There are a couple of students up front that want to become members. Could you please make sure they're signed up?"
Keiichi nodded, "Sure."
Then looking to Belldandy, "You'll stay here?"
"Mm-hmm."
Left by herself, she took a cup of water that was within reach from where she sat. Belldandy coddled the drink for awhile. She was not angry. And she didn't have any tears. In her mind, she was going over her strategy during the race. She was not fast enough, and it wasn't even Keiichi's fault. Her turns had to be sharper, simply as that. Once then, she knew that she could duplicate and even improve on her initial run. If she were not so tired at this point, she would have done so with Keiichi's motorcycle.
"May I?"
Belldandy looked up, only to see the Assistant standing across the table from her.
"Those are the clothes of an Earther," Belldandy said, examining her casual dress taken on to blend in with everyone else, "They don't suit you."
"All the kindness in the universe, Belldandy. Is there none for me?" the Assistant asked, seating herself.
"I'm sorry, I was trying my hand at humor. What could you possibly want?" she said curtly.
The Assistant sighed. She said genuinely, "I don't want to fight."
"Well, that's a relief."
"I just wanted to say...you ran a very good race."
Begrudgingly, Belldandy nodded her head, "Thank you."
"But it's over."
"Like my Keiichi said, there will be other races."
"No, I mean, it's over. I have made my final recommendation to the Almighty. I didn't want to inform you until after you've won, but now..."
She stopped in mid-sentence, as if the next word would take her over a precipice and into a very deep hole. She knew it was her job, but never before had she resented it as she did now. Belldandy was right, but the Assistant had an inquiry to finish.
They looked at each other, one uncertain and uneasy about what was to be said by the other.
"Please, just say it."
The Assistant exhaled, reluctant to get it done with. "Very well," she said finally underneath the music, "Goddess First Class Belldandy, I am ordering you to undergo the reversal in three days. I must have your decision in two. Failure to comply will result in the unconditional cancellation of your license."
Nothing that she hadn't heard already, Belldandy thought. She was quite willing to break with it all; perhaps less so at the moment because of the competition, but she remained quite adamant about what she wanted.
"I thought you understood," Belldandy said.
The Assistant leaned in closer to her. "Belldandy," she replied, "There's more."
Belldandy looked up at her.
"Whether you remain human or become a goddess again is up to you, but in seventy-two hours I am recalling your sisters in either event. This will be a permanent transfer."
Her face fell again. Belldandy turned away, trying to piece it all together. It was too much to take in at once. She shook her head, and said with a taint of vengeance on her lips, "I'll fight you."
"You can't," the Assistant replied blankly, "I speak for the Almighty. My authority is absolute. I admit, this has not been an easy case for me to decide, but this is the best solution for everyone. Your sisters' recalls are mandatory. I am giving you three days to put your affairs in order."
The room was silent for both of them. Belldandy was devastated.
"Of course, the only way you can ever return to the heavens and see them again...is if you end this and renounce your humanity."
That, of course, became the last insult. Belldandy shot up like a dart, as the party music filled the clubhouse once again. "Not if I have anything to say about it," she said, walking past the Assistant and storming out of the clubhouse.
---
The outside air was a bit thinner, all of a sudden. Belldandy couldn't breathe. She was being forced to do that which she refused to do. One way or another, this was a punishment. She was absolutely sure that they would not let her remain as she was now. And in any case, she would lose her sisters in the process. When faced with circumstances such as these, it was difficult for Belldandy to be what she was taught to be. She had every right now to be irrational and emotional about her situation.
Keiichi was too busy to talk at the moment. There was only other one thing in the world that could distract her and take her mind off of her troubles.
---
Keiichi had long since delegated the new membership duties to Sora. Now he was making sure that everyone was having a good time. He kept a sharp eye out, though. The Assistant, for one, and Urd, just to make sure she's not causing more than the usual amount of chaos. Chihiro had found Skuld some ice cream, so that was at least one less worry in the mix.
This was a party, of course. Everyone was having a good time, and that was all that matters. It was a difficult field of competitors to contend with, Keiichi thought, and he couldn't win them all. Underestimating her reaction to the loss, he had hoped that the party would lift Belldandy's spirits.
Where was Belldandy? He asked himself the question a few times as the sound of screeching tires came before a loud crash that shook even the walls of the clubhouse.
---
It was a simple enough mistake. She didn't intend it at all. Belldandy had turned too sharply. She wanted to prove it to herself that she was worthy, but more importantly, she just wanted to get one last twinge of excitement up her spine, seeing as how moments like these were, all of a sudden, running out. But she had turned too sharply, and only the markers and traffic cones on the test course remained, having had all of the safety barriers taken away by sunset.
The motorcycle lay a bit of a distance from her. Much similar to the bike, Belldandy lay flat on the ground, arms spread out and her left foot moving back and forth, just so that she could be sure that she could move it at all. It was difficult for her to breathe. And it had become so cold all of a sudden.
"So tired," Belldandy said, struggling mightily to cry for help as she inevitably drifted into unconsciousness.
TO BE CONTINUED.