A/N: If you reviewed my story, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!
And then Fred ate the animal cracker.
The next day all of Hogwarts woke up in the middle of the night. They all knew, instinctively, that something had happened.
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Pansy Parkinson.
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Professor Vector (whose gender we may never discover).
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Ernie Macmillan.
"Harry Potter's dead!" wailed Ginny dramatically.
"Harry Potter's dead!"
"I have to go to the bathroom!" said Fred in a singsong, high-pitched voice.
And then they all went back to sleep, except Harry, who was dead, and Voldemort, who was choreographing a victory dance.
The next day, their suspicions were confirmed when they discovered his body in Professor Trelawney's classroom. It did not even comfort them when he sat up and greeted them cheerfully. Nothing could console them now that Harry had died. Harry had been so brave his entire, short life. Poor, poor Harry. The entire school went into mourning from that moment on.
"Hi Hermione!" said Harry one mourning, "Why do you look so sad? And why is everyone wearing black?"
"Because it's the school uniform, of course!" Then she gave a dramatic sniff and continued, "Harry was my best friend. I can no longer be happy now that he has passed."
"Oh," said Harry, "I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon." Then he ate CORNFLAKES because he thought they were YUMMY.
Fred was having trouble keeping himself from killing Colin Creevey that morning.
"I AM ON FIRE!" he yelled at the poor, innocent professors before skipping angrily out of the room, sprinkling flower petals as he went. The Oompa Loompas danced behind him. Yay.
At this exact moment, Draco Malfoy was sitting.
The next day no one could remember the alphabet. Harry walked into the Charms classroom, but it was empty.
"Where is everyone?" he asked the wall. The wall did not answer. It was a rude wall, "WHERE IS EVERYONE?!" Harry persisted meekly. The wall growled. Harry hit it with the blade of an axe, in a very submissive manner.
"They are getting ready for your funeral," the wall sang in its lovely soprano voice.
"Okey-dokey!" said Harry, smiling prettily. He ate a gummy bear. He went to go get dressed for his funeral.
While he was doing this brave, noble, and selfless act, Malfoy was forging his own signature.
"This is hard," he said, "I'll never get it right."
"I'm pregnant!" said Pansy Parkinson shrilly. Then I killed her. Ha.
After Harry's funeral, he went to visit Hagrid. He, Harry, was weeping bitterly in between mouthfuls of chicken stir-fry.
The author must now take a short break to contemplate why there is a document on the wall written in Latin with her father's name on it. The author thought Latin was dead. The author is opposed to hanging dead things on the wall. It is yucky.
The author wonders what a zyzzyva is.
"A zyzzyva is a tropical weevil," said Hermione to Ron and Dead Harry the following morning, "I read it in Hogwarts, A History."
They nodded knowingly, and exchanged knowing looks while eating a criminal amount of bananas. They then walked knowingly to Potions, where they knew how to make a potion and did it in a very knowledgeable fashion.
The author wonders what a weevil is.
"A weevil is a type of beetle," said Hermione to Fred, our Beloved Main Character, whom we nearly forgot about. Fred is mad at us. He refuses to talk to us until he finishes his tap-dancing solo.
". . ." said Professor McGonagall wisely.
"Thank you, Professor," said Crabbe and Goyle in unison, "We can always count on you for good advice." They ate her gratefully.
Fred finished his tap dancing solo.
The Slytherin vegetarians came after him. For no particular reason. They shot him. His last word was "zyzzyva" before he lost consciousness.
A/N-I love you if you read this story!!!! I also love Snape!!!! Your next step is to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! Yay.
And then Fred ate the animal cracker.
The next day all of Hogwarts woke up in the middle of the night. They all knew, instinctively, that something had happened.
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Pansy Parkinson.
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Professor Vector (whose gender we may never discover).
"Harry Potter's dead!" said Ernie Macmillan.
"Harry Potter's dead!" wailed Ginny dramatically.
"Harry Potter's dead!"
"I have to go to the bathroom!" said Fred in a singsong, high-pitched voice.
And then they all went back to sleep, except Harry, who was dead, and Voldemort, who was choreographing a victory dance.
The next day, their suspicions were confirmed when they discovered his body in Professor Trelawney's classroom. It did not even comfort them when he sat up and greeted them cheerfully. Nothing could console them now that Harry had died. Harry had been so brave his entire, short life. Poor, poor Harry. The entire school went into mourning from that moment on.
"Hi Hermione!" said Harry one mourning, "Why do you look so sad? And why is everyone wearing black?"
"Because it's the school uniform, of course!" Then she gave a dramatic sniff and continued, "Harry was my best friend. I can no longer be happy now that he has passed."
"Oh," said Harry, "I'm sorry. I hope you feel better soon." Then he ate CORNFLAKES because he thought they were YUMMY.
Fred was having trouble keeping himself from killing Colin Creevey that morning.
"I AM ON FIRE!" he yelled at the poor, innocent professors before skipping angrily out of the room, sprinkling flower petals as he went. The Oompa Loompas danced behind him. Yay.
At this exact moment, Draco Malfoy was sitting.
The next day no one could remember the alphabet. Harry walked into the Charms classroom, but it was empty.
"Where is everyone?" he asked the wall. The wall did not answer. It was a rude wall, "WHERE IS EVERYONE?!" Harry persisted meekly. The wall growled. Harry hit it with the blade of an axe, in a very submissive manner.
"They are getting ready for your funeral," the wall sang in its lovely soprano voice.
"Okey-dokey!" said Harry, smiling prettily. He ate a gummy bear. He went to go get dressed for his funeral.
While he was doing this brave, noble, and selfless act, Malfoy was forging his own signature.
"This is hard," he said, "I'll never get it right."
"I'm pregnant!" said Pansy Parkinson shrilly. Then I killed her. Ha.
After Harry's funeral, he went to visit Hagrid. He, Harry, was weeping bitterly in between mouthfuls of chicken stir-fry.
The author must now take a short break to contemplate why there is a document on the wall written in Latin with her father's name on it. The author thought Latin was dead. The author is opposed to hanging dead things on the wall. It is yucky.
The author wonders what a zyzzyva is.
"A zyzzyva is a tropical weevil," said Hermione to Ron and Dead Harry the following morning, "I read it in Hogwarts, A History."
They nodded knowingly, and exchanged knowing looks while eating a criminal amount of bananas. They then walked knowingly to Potions, where they knew how to make a potion and did it in a very knowledgeable fashion.
The author wonders what a weevil is.
"A weevil is a type of beetle," said Hermione to Fred, our Beloved Main Character, whom we nearly forgot about. Fred is mad at us. He refuses to talk to us until he finishes his tap-dancing solo.
". . ." said Professor McGonagall wisely.
"Thank you, Professor," said Crabbe and Goyle in unison, "We can always count on you for good advice." They ate her gratefully.
Fred finished his tap dancing solo.
The Slytherin vegetarians came after him. For no particular reason. They shot him. His last word was "zyzzyva" before he lost consciousness.
A/N-I love you if you read this story!!!! I also love Snape!!!! Your next step is to REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! Yay.