Fred woke up in the Hospital Wing. This was becoming a hobby of his.
Sitting next to him and looking tearful was the whole Weasley family
(including un-born descendents and dead ancestors). He screamed feebly,
cackled madly, did his best impression of Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape,
and quoted Edgar Allen Poe. He stood up.
Molly Weasley, who had been having difficulties turning her nose blue, began to jump on the bed with her great, great, great, great, great grandchild Wolfgang, who had not yet been born. Then Voldemort, while enjoying a poisoned martini, made a grand entrance singing Elvis ("I'm All Shook Up"). He died. Then he died again.
"I'm pregnant!" screeched Pansy Parkinson, even though I had already killed her.
Then Fred took charge of the chaos that was over taking the Hospital Wing by running out the door yelling "Hotchacha!" Then he remembered why he had been in the Hospital Wing. As he collapsed from the pain in his shoulder, his tooth fell out.
"I LIKE YOUR HAIR, RON!" was heard echoing through the hallway. It was Hermione. Forgetting his agony, Fred ran like a drunken Potions teacher far, far away from her. He had Hermionophobia.
The author must remember not to give her sister too much sugar. The author's sister, we will call her Fridolpha, is running around screaming "KETCHUP!" Fridolpha says hi to all the nice little people who reviewed this story.
"Aloooooha!" said George in his debonair Siberian accent to his twin. He began to play piano with flair that only a hopeless beginner could achieve with lots of practice.
"I'm pregna-" began Pansy Parkinson.
"WE KNOW!" shouted the entire continent of Europe and a few people in Phuket, Thailand.
We leave our Beloved Main Character Fred to look into the romantic moment between Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape and Hermione Granger:
"Miss Granger, you did your essay, I presume?" said Snape seductively. They were in the middle of a long and boring Potions class.
"Yes, Professor," she said, looking deep into his beady, squirrel-ish eyes, "But I am having trouble with this Potion."
"You are a Know-It-All," he said kindly, "I refuse to help you."
They kissed passionately.
Hey, it's about as likely to happen as all those other HG/SS fics I've seen (no offense to my lovely, creative HG/SS authors).
"I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am," said Ron, "And I thought you liked my hair, not Snape's!" Then he cried Alice-In-Wonderland style until everyone drowned. Except that they all survived because Neville could fly to the moon to get help. Thank Goodness for Neville!. . .but why does his last name have to be Longbottom? I think that was intentional cruelty on J.K.'s part. . .
So everyone was alive, but extremely wet and rather golden (Ron's tears had glitter in them).
"It's MINE!" screamed Fred about nothing in particular.
"What?" asked Random Person #4.56.
"NO! It's MINE!" he screamed, looking melancholy and smelling of nucleic acids.
Snape passed by, looking dreamy with a bouquet of roses in his arms. His hair was in stylish pigtails and he was humming the oboe part of Mozart's eighty-millionth symphony. He tripped on his shoelace and disappeared for a few days. The roses, however, remained on the ground where he left them. As they begin to wilt, the Lovely Reader feels the meaningful impact of it, which is: none at all. The author leaves the Lovely Readers because she has to study the evil, evil thing we sometimes refer to as Biology.
And then Professor Sprout was assassinated. Thrice.
REVIEW!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAH!
Molly Weasley, who had been having difficulties turning her nose blue, began to jump on the bed with her great, great, great, great, great grandchild Wolfgang, who had not yet been born. Then Voldemort, while enjoying a poisoned martini, made a grand entrance singing Elvis ("I'm All Shook Up"). He died. Then he died again.
"I'm pregnant!" screeched Pansy Parkinson, even though I had already killed her.
Then Fred took charge of the chaos that was over taking the Hospital Wing by running out the door yelling "Hotchacha!" Then he remembered why he had been in the Hospital Wing. As he collapsed from the pain in his shoulder, his tooth fell out.
"I LIKE YOUR HAIR, RON!" was heard echoing through the hallway. It was Hermione. Forgetting his agony, Fred ran like a drunken Potions teacher far, far away from her. He had Hermionophobia.
The author must remember not to give her sister too much sugar. The author's sister, we will call her Fridolpha, is running around screaming "KETCHUP!" Fridolpha says hi to all the nice little people who reviewed this story.
"Aloooooha!" said George in his debonair Siberian accent to his twin. He began to play piano with flair that only a hopeless beginner could achieve with lots of practice.
"I'm pregna-" began Pansy Parkinson.
"WE KNOW!" shouted the entire continent of Europe and a few people in Phuket, Thailand.
We leave our Beloved Main Character Fred to look into the romantic moment between Severus Sebastian Stidolph Snape and Hermione Granger:
"Miss Granger, you did your essay, I presume?" said Snape seductively. They were in the middle of a long and boring Potions class.
"Yes, Professor," she said, looking deep into his beady, squirrel-ish eyes, "But I am having trouble with this Potion."
"You are a Know-It-All," he said kindly, "I refuse to help you."
They kissed passionately.
Hey, it's about as likely to happen as all those other HG/SS fics I've seen (no offense to my lovely, creative HG/SS authors).
"I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-Am," said Ron, "And I thought you liked my hair, not Snape's!" Then he cried Alice-In-Wonderland style until everyone drowned. Except that they all survived because Neville could fly to the moon to get help. Thank Goodness for Neville!. . .but why does his last name have to be Longbottom? I think that was intentional cruelty on J.K.'s part. . .
So everyone was alive, but extremely wet and rather golden (Ron's tears had glitter in them).
"It's MINE!" screamed Fred about nothing in particular.
"What?" asked Random Person #4.56.
"NO! It's MINE!" he screamed, looking melancholy and smelling of nucleic acids.
Snape passed by, looking dreamy with a bouquet of roses in his arms. His hair was in stylish pigtails and he was humming the oboe part of Mozart's eighty-millionth symphony. He tripped on his shoelace and disappeared for a few days. The roses, however, remained on the ground where he left them. As they begin to wilt, the Lovely Reader feels the meaningful impact of it, which is: none at all. The author leaves the Lovely Readers because she has to study the evil, evil thing we sometimes refer to as Biology.
And then Professor Sprout was assassinated. Thrice.
REVIEW!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAH!