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Aragorn's boat took the lead; the first defense should the fellowship come upon any rocks. In retrospect, it was not such a smart move as the ring-bearer was in there. Ah, who cares. Frodo sat in the bow staring hesitantly at where they were going. Aragorn, who was beginning to tire of carting the freeloaders around, passed an oar to Sam. The hobbit placed the wooden oar into the water and stroked expertly enough to have been on the Viking College rowing team. Frodo felt a small shudder through the boat as the power moved from the stern to the middle. He turned and was shocked to find his dear friend nonchalantly steering the boat around swift currents and large rocks.

"Sam, I never knew that you could propel a boat. I always thought you were fearful of the water," Frodo said.

Sam snorted and kept his eyes focused away from Frodo, "What a big surprise, Frodo doesn't know something about me. Oh why would I expect you to know anything about me, it's not as if my family has been the Baggins' gardener for generations. Oh wait, that's right we are. I'd appreciate it if you would not tell me what I should and should not be afraid of Frodo."

Frodo could not take Sam's surly nature towards him anymore. Even though Sam offered kind assistance and a caring nature to every other member of the company, he acted coldly to Frodo. Something was wrong, "Sam, have I done something to offend you?"

"Just leave me alone," Sam prepared to steer around a corner when out of no where another wooden boat flew past, its wake throwing Sam off. "Now look at what you've caused Frodo. Just return to being nothing more than luggage with eyes."

Boromir's boat flew past everyone, as the man rowed at an insane speed. Pippin, who sat at the back of the boat, glanced behind them and yelled, "Faster, he want's to go faster." Boromir sighed out of weariness and amazingly managed to pick up the pace a bit more. His arms were flying back in forth in front of his face hastily; water spattering off in such huge spurts it looked as though the oar was sneezing at Boromir.

Pippin turned away from Boromir, who looked like he was about two seconds away from a coronary episode, and gave a thumbs up to the water behind them. Had Boromir been able to reach speeds over thirty miles an hour it might have been seen. Currently Merry was hanging tightly onto the rope attached to the back of the boat and was towed through the water even though the Hobbit was entirely submerged leaving behind nothing but a second small wake. Every now and then a raised thumb would appear out of the water signaling to Pippin that Merry wanted to go faster. Pippin kept telling Boromir to go faster but it did not seem to help. Maybe they should have used skis as opposed to their own feet, Pippin mused, maybe that would work.

All the way back in Legolas' boat things were not going too well. The Elf was trying to remain up with Aragorn but Gimli kept trying to spin the boat around. "Look Legolas, I got a hair. A bloody hair! I would not call the Lady's gift fair, would you?"

Legolas, who currently had control of the boat, said, "Well, uh, you had one wish and that was what you know you said. So I mean it could have been uh worse."

"Worse?! How could it possibly be worse?"

"Well, you uh could have said that you were just a stone's throw away from coming up with an answer, and then she could have pelted you with rocks."

Gimli shrugged his shoulders and stuffed the hair back into his pouch, "I guess you're right. Hey wait a minute, what happened to your stutter."

"Oh you uh noticed. I've been taking some um lessons by mail. Yeah, every time I you know stutter I have someone hit me in the head with a shirt of mail."

"Oh well," the Dwarf mused, "if you want I could always help you out."

"That, would uh be much appreciated. Oh dear I just said it again didn't I," the Dwarf shrugged and trying to hide his smile started to dig through his pack looking for old mail, "Just try to avoid the face okay." Thus a strong and long-term friendship was forged.

While Legolas was getting the stuffing beat out of him by Gimli (who was really enjoying it, even though he pretended he wasn't) the boat drifted off course and plowed into a floating log. The crash was enough to wake two rather drowsy people. Mar sprang up from the bottom of the boat, wiping sleep from her eyes. Consequently, a pair of yellow eyes flew open on the log and stared hard at the boat. As Mar stretched her arms and yawned, she caught sight of a snaky arm latched onto the boat. She grabbed it, and the creature with the yellow eyes hissed. For a moment, Mar thought about telling someone of her find but decided that the creature didn't look that dangerous. Besides Legolas and Gimli were busy, Boromir was no where to be found, Aragorn was sleeping, and Sam was trying hard to ignore Frodo.

Instead Mar attempted talking to the creature, "Hello, my name Maralyn. But people call me Mar. What your name small white thing. Are you sea creature?"

"Why you choose to talk like that is the first thing we would like to know," the creature said with his eyebrow slightly raised.

"Only way know how talk to idiotic creature," Mar said, her hand still wrapped around the creature's arm.

"Yes, well my name is not important."

"I get that a lot," Mar interrupted.

"I am following after a piece of property that was wrongly removed from my person. I would be ever so grateful if you could assist me in some fashion."

Mar scratched her head, barely understanding what he said, "Do you like want help?"

"Yes yes," the creature sighed heavily, "I would like your help." Then suddenly the creature started to cough hoarsely, "Gollum Gollum Sorry about that, I have had a touch of pneumonia that comes and goes every now and then."

Mar shook her head in understanding then her face blanked, "I don't know what you want, but I know this person who may be able to help you."

The creature hit himself in the forehead with his free hand as the other was still being held by Mar. With her free hand she fished into her pocket and withdrew a small rectangular piece of paper, "Here's the address of an old friend, but I'd be a little careful she can have some pretty major mood swings."

The creature with no name (not to be confused with a horse with no name) took the paper. Mar released him and kicked his log away from the boat. She waved emphatically, "Oh and be sure to ask for Shelob. Bye. He seemed like a really nice guy."

"We need to paddle for a while, I don't think Legolas will be getting up any time soon," Gimli said. He picked up the truant oar and passed the second to Mar. After instructing the girl that she hold onto the handle end in order to row the boat, they were off again.

At that same time, Boromir collapsed into a crumpled sweating heap, his arms on fire. Pippin helped to pull a soggy Merry into the boat, turned to the exhausted man and said, "Okay, my turn."

(Special thanks to Obelia medusa for giving me the phrase 'surly Sam.' I just love alliterations, so be lucky that this story isn't chopped full of 'em. Also thanks to the band America for giving me the chance to make a really horrid joke.)