~Chapter 2
Saelar found Victoria one early March evening, when the desert night was quite chilly- standing with her hands over a fire built in a metal trash can, not too far from a couple other people who looked homeless.
Looking up, Victoria was surprised to find him standing there. But she just looked at him, not knowing or caring what he had to say.
And he seemed to read her then, but he said, instead, "You should not live in such squalor, such emptiness. It's blasphemy."
"To who or what?" Victoria muttered.
"To our way. To your destiny." -Saelar.
Victoria didn't comment on that, she merely shrugged and said, "Nothing means anything anymore. If ever it did once. .. maybe it was just a dream."
After a long pause, while he surveyed her in silence, he finally said, "What is it that you want above all things?"
"Michael." Victoria said quietly, without looking up.
"Even if it is not meant? Even if it is not your destiny?" -Saelar.
"He is. or was, my destiny. I couldn't have been wrong. And he's the only one I ever truly loved." -Victoria.
Saelar shook his head and came nearer to her. "Let me tell you of your true destiny."
. . . -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
After what Saelar had told her, things made even less sense. She was full of questions, many of which Saelar couldn't or wouldn't answer. She thought she couldn't be shocked yet again, but she was.
Victoria went by the Crashdown Café sometimes, mostly at night, looking in the windows. Everyone pretty much seemed happy now, as if Adam's machinations had never touched them. She saw them all one time or another. She'd seen the man named Jesse with Isabel smiling and talking, and Victoria was certain there was a wedding band on Isabel's left hand. She saw Kyle and his father, Liz and Max cuddling and once, it had broken her heart all over again to see Michael and Maria sitting at one of the booths, his arms around her, leaning in to kiss her sweetly. It was like she'd never even existed to them. It was good that they'd all gotten past what had happened, but she really hadn't. Furthermore, wasn't she supposed to be like Michael and Max and Isabel, - and Saelar? Yet the only others of her 'kind' that she knew of on this planet, didn't act as if she was an outsider- they appeared to have forgotten she had existed. And why wouldn't they? She couldn't blame them. They didn't really know her, except Michael and they just thought of her as a demon in one of the nightmares of their past.
It took many days of little stolen glimpses of them to work up the courage to confront them.
One night in mid March, Victoria went to the Crashdown right after it had closed, with the group still present.
When she walked in, Liz was behind the counter with Max, Kyle and Jim Valenti sitting at it. Michael and Maria sat at a back booth across from Isabel and Jesse at another booth. When Victoria walked in, everyone turned to look at her after Liz dropped a glass. Then there was utter silence.
They almost didn't recognize her, Victoria knew. She had changed and she didn't look like the perfect rich girl now.
Max started to get up and Victoria said, "No, please. Don't get up. I come in peace."
Someone finally spoke. And it was Isabel. "What do you want with us?"
Before she had a time to reply, Maria snapped, "How dare you show yourself after what you've done?"
"Do we need to take care of you like we did your father?" -Max.
"He wasn't my father." -Victoria.
"You sure fooled us. But then that was your plan. You are as bad as him." -Kyle.
"I didn't come to argue." -Victoria.
"What do you honestly expect? Do we have to list all that you've done to us?" -Max.
Victoria shook her head. "I know what I am guilty of. But there are things I haven't done. If you'll just give me a few minutes to explain." -Victoria.
Maybe they were all curious. Nobody said anything, and perhaps they let their curiosity outweigh their anger. She was met with mostly hostile stares all around, except for Michael who looked straight at the wall, refusing to look at her. Since no one said anything, Victoria continued, "I know that you all think I came with Adam to New Mexico, since the beginning - I meant you harm, but I didn't. I didn't know the reason for coming. I was told to fit in at Roswell High and I helped Adam in various ways. It was difficult at times to understand some things. My childhood and upbringing was very - different. Sterile, military, empty."
She continued without hesitation, "That doesn't excuse anything I did. But I followed orders. I knew nothing else. I never knew a different lifestyle. I was not Adam's daughter. That was for show. I was his object, his pawn, a slave at times. I never wanted to hurt anyone, though. I wanted to help Isabel escape, but I couldn't. I wanted to stop Adam from shooting Jesse, but I couldn't. I wanted to free Kyle - but again, I couldn't. Adam shared the barest details with me - only what he said I needed to know, which most of the time wasn't very much. I *never* knew his real intentions for any of you, until the evening before the confrontation at the mansion. I didn't even know who I really was until that same day before."
"And just who are you?" -Jim Valenti spoke up from the back.
"Victoria is a contrived name, but the only one I've ever known. I'm different like three of you. But not exactly the same." -Victoria.
"Are you or are you not an alien?" Max asked, sharply, bluntly.
"I am." -Victoria.
"When and where were you born?" Max tested her.
"I don't know the exact date. But I am eighteen years old. And I don't know where. I just know my mother was-"
Isabel interrupted, "But then that's impossible. You're not one of us."
Victoria frowned, not understanding.
"We weren't 'born'. We were in pods, which we descended from when we were equivalent to about a human six year old. What are you trying to do?" -Max.
"I am trying to be honest with you." -Victoria.
"No you are not. You're still lying." -Maria.
Victoria ignored that, but continued, glancing back to Max. "As I was saying before - my mother. my *host* mother carried me because of a uniqueness to her DNA. She had some alien blood from long ago, when an ancestor of hers mixed with an alien. I was born from her, but she wasn't my real mother. I was created. I don't know how, but my essence or soul or whatever you want to call it, incarnated into this body - a body which is in the image of one I had sometime before."
"Wait a minute. Who told you this? Or are you really deceiving us again?" Max asked, warily.
"I swear I tell the truth. Adam didn't tell me who or what I really am. He only made me use my abilities for him and I just always knew I was different. I never imagined how different. Saelar told me. And he was the one who created me, I think.. He gave me to Adam, because he said he couldn't protect me at the time and Adam was the only human who could, plus he knew about aliens." -Victoria.
"Saelar." Liz said. "Max, isn't he the one that Michael said healed her?"
Max looked at Liz and nodded.
Isabel finally spoke up again, she had been taking everything in, "I believe some of what she said - maybe all, I don't know. Adam Winthrop, I believe, did control her. I didn't say this before, but Victoria did want to help me when I was captive in that base.. But he wouldn't let her. And not just that, but Maria mentioned to me before that she knew where Kyle was kept in the mansion, because Victoria had sent her a mental message."
Kyle looked surprised. He hadn't known that. He looked at Victoria differently now, a bit, only a bit.
"And she saved Michael's life, despite great harm to herself." Jim Valenti said. "We all witnessed that."
No one wanted to comment on that day.
"So we're supposed to just trust her now?" Maria said to the group and then looked to Victoria. "What do you want with us, Victoria?" Maria glared, demanding an answer.
Victoria sighed. "I only came to. to apologize. I never wanted to do anything to harm anyone here. I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm so sorry."
"After all the girl's been through, herself, maybe someone should help her." Jim Valenti said.
"Yeah, remember Tess? You took her in and remember how she repaid us. She's already done more harm, maybe, than even Tess did." -Maria.
Victoria turned away while they got lost in talking to each other. She had no idea who Tess was and she didn't hear anymore of their talk after that, because she left the café.
-=- A little while later, Victoria was sitting in an alley against a brick building, when an automobile pulled up alongside her. Victoria looked up and saw Jim Valenti leaning out the window of his bronco.
"How did you know where I was?" -Victoria.
"Well it wasn't my special abilities- because I'm purely human." He said, somewhat ruefully. And then, "Get in. You can stay with Kyle and I."
Victoria shook her head. "Kyle would never want that."
"He might just come around." -Jim.
Victoria stood up hesitantly, still looking at him, unsure. He nodded again and Victoria went around the other side and got into the passenger seat.
Saelar found Victoria one early March evening, when the desert night was quite chilly- standing with her hands over a fire built in a metal trash can, not too far from a couple other people who looked homeless.
Looking up, Victoria was surprised to find him standing there. But she just looked at him, not knowing or caring what he had to say.
And he seemed to read her then, but he said, instead, "You should not live in such squalor, such emptiness. It's blasphemy."
"To who or what?" Victoria muttered.
"To our way. To your destiny." -Saelar.
Victoria didn't comment on that, she merely shrugged and said, "Nothing means anything anymore. If ever it did once. .. maybe it was just a dream."
After a long pause, while he surveyed her in silence, he finally said, "What is it that you want above all things?"
"Michael." Victoria said quietly, without looking up.
"Even if it is not meant? Even if it is not your destiny?" -Saelar.
"He is. or was, my destiny. I couldn't have been wrong. And he's the only one I ever truly loved." -Victoria.
Saelar shook his head and came nearer to her. "Let me tell you of your true destiny."
. . . -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
After what Saelar had told her, things made even less sense. She was full of questions, many of which Saelar couldn't or wouldn't answer. She thought she couldn't be shocked yet again, but she was.
Victoria went by the Crashdown Café sometimes, mostly at night, looking in the windows. Everyone pretty much seemed happy now, as if Adam's machinations had never touched them. She saw them all one time or another. She'd seen the man named Jesse with Isabel smiling and talking, and Victoria was certain there was a wedding band on Isabel's left hand. She saw Kyle and his father, Liz and Max cuddling and once, it had broken her heart all over again to see Michael and Maria sitting at one of the booths, his arms around her, leaning in to kiss her sweetly. It was like she'd never even existed to them. It was good that they'd all gotten past what had happened, but she really hadn't. Furthermore, wasn't she supposed to be like Michael and Max and Isabel, - and Saelar? Yet the only others of her 'kind' that she knew of on this planet, didn't act as if she was an outsider- they appeared to have forgotten she had existed. And why wouldn't they? She couldn't blame them. They didn't really know her, except Michael and they just thought of her as a demon in one of the nightmares of their past.
It took many days of little stolen glimpses of them to work up the courage to confront them.
One night in mid March, Victoria went to the Crashdown right after it had closed, with the group still present.
When she walked in, Liz was behind the counter with Max, Kyle and Jim Valenti sitting at it. Michael and Maria sat at a back booth across from Isabel and Jesse at another booth. When Victoria walked in, everyone turned to look at her after Liz dropped a glass. Then there was utter silence.
They almost didn't recognize her, Victoria knew. She had changed and she didn't look like the perfect rich girl now.
Max started to get up and Victoria said, "No, please. Don't get up. I come in peace."
Someone finally spoke. And it was Isabel. "What do you want with us?"
Before she had a time to reply, Maria snapped, "How dare you show yourself after what you've done?"
"Do we need to take care of you like we did your father?" -Max.
"He wasn't my father." -Victoria.
"You sure fooled us. But then that was your plan. You are as bad as him." -Kyle.
"I didn't come to argue." -Victoria.
"What do you honestly expect? Do we have to list all that you've done to us?" -Max.
Victoria shook her head. "I know what I am guilty of. But there are things I haven't done. If you'll just give me a few minutes to explain." -Victoria.
Maybe they were all curious. Nobody said anything, and perhaps they let their curiosity outweigh their anger. She was met with mostly hostile stares all around, except for Michael who looked straight at the wall, refusing to look at her. Since no one said anything, Victoria continued, "I know that you all think I came with Adam to New Mexico, since the beginning - I meant you harm, but I didn't. I didn't know the reason for coming. I was told to fit in at Roswell High and I helped Adam in various ways. It was difficult at times to understand some things. My childhood and upbringing was very - different. Sterile, military, empty."
She continued without hesitation, "That doesn't excuse anything I did. But I followed orders. I knew nothing else. I never knew a different lifestyle. I was not Adam's daughter. That was for show. I was his object, his pawn, a slave at times. I never wanted to hurt anyone, though. I wanted to help Isabel escape, but I couldn't. I wanted to stop Adam from shooting Jesse, but I couldn't. I wanted to free Kyle - but again, I couldn't. Adam shared the barest details with me - only what he said I needed to know, which most of the time wasn't very much. I *never* knew his real intentions for any of you, until the evening before the confrontation at the mansion. I didn't even know who I really was until that same day before."
"And just who are you?" -Jim Valenti spoke up from the back.
"Victoria is a contrived name, but the only one I've ever known. I'm different like three of you. But not exactly the same." -Victoria.
"Are you or are you not an alien?" Max asked, sharply, bluntly.
"I am." -Victoria.
"When and where were you born?" Max tested her.
"I don't know the exact date. But I am eighteen years old. And I don't know where. I just know my mother was-"
Isabel interrupted, "But then that's impossible. You're not one of us."
Victoria frowned, not understanding.
"We weren't 'born'. We were in pods, which we descended from when we were equivalent to about a human six year old. What are you trying to do?" -Max.
"I am trying to be honest with you." -Victoria.
"No you are not. You're still lying." -Maria.
Victoria ignored that, but continued, glancing back to Max. "As I was saying before - my mother. my *host* mother carried me because of a uniqueness to her DNA. She had some alien blood from long ago, when an ancestor of hers mixed with an alien. I was born from her, but she wasn't my real mother. I was created. I don't know how, but my essence or soul or whatever you want to call it, incarnated into this body - a body which is in the image of one I had sometime before."
"Wait a minute. Who told you this? Or are you really deceiving us again?" Max asked, warily.
"I swear I tell the truth. Adam didn't tell me who or what I really am. He only made me use my abilities for him and I just always knew I was different. I never imagined how different. Saelar told me. And he was the one who created me, I think.. He gave me to Adam, because he said he couldn't protect me at the time and Adam was the only human who could, plus he knew about aliens." -Victoria.
"Saelar." Liz said. "Max, isn't he the one that Michael said healed her?"
Max looked at Liz and nodded.
Isabel finally spoke up again, she had been taking everything in, "I believe some of what she said - maybe all, I don't know. Adam Winthrop, I believe, did control her. I didn't say this before, but Victoria did want to help me when I was captive in that base.. But he wouldn't let her. And not just that, but Maria mentioned to me before that she knew where Kyle was kept in the mansion, because Victoria had sent her a mental message."
Kyle looked surprised. He hadn't known that. He looked at Victoria differently now, a bit, only a bit.
"And she saved Michael's life, despite great harm to herself." Jim Valenti said. "We all witnessed that."
No one wanted to comment on that day.
"So we're supposed to just trust her now?" Maria said to the group and then looked to Victoria. "What do you want with us, Victoria?" Maria glared, demanding an answer.
Victoria sighed. "I only came to. to apologize. I never wanted to do anything to harm anyone here. I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm so sorry."
"After all the girl's been through, herself, maybe someone should help her." Jim Valenti said.
"Yeah, remember Tess? You took her in and remember how she repaid us. She's already done more harm, maybe, than even Tess did." -Maria.
Victoria turned away while they got lost in talking to each other. She had no idea who Tess was and she didn't hear anymore of their talk after that, because she left the café.
-=- A little while later, Victoria was sitting in an alley against a brick building, when an automobile pulled up alongside her. Victoria looked up and saw Jim Valenti leaning out the window of his bronco.
"How did you know where I was?" -Victoria.
"Well it wasn't my special abilities- because I'm purely human." He said, somewhat ruefully. And then, "Get in. You can stay with Kyle and I."
Victoria shook her head. "Kyle would never want that."
"He might just come around." -Jim.
Victoria stood up hesitantly, still looking at him, unsure. He nodded again and Victoria went around the other side and got into the passenger seat.