The cats are jumping, jumping, jumping awaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!
A/N-Before I begin, I would like to answer some reviewer's questions:
I think Voldemort's lipstick should be pink, red would contrast to much with his pale skin and make him look freakish. . .oh, wait, he already is freakish-red it is!
No, I am not on drugs.
Political correctness bugs me a little bit, but I actually just think it's funny when people go psycho for their cause and take offense at every little thing. That's why it's in my parody.
I would love to use Genghis Khan, but you (Theaphelia) beat me to it. Therefore, the stay in Mongolia will not be long. We may have a few Confused Mongolians at Hogwarts, however.
And now, on with this lovely thing I call a parody:
It was an unusual morning. Eighty-seven and a half students had come down with a disease called Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, Ron and Harry included.
"But that's impossible!" said Hermione, coming out of withdrawal from calcium supplements to correct someone, "Only GIRLS can get PMS!"
"SHUT UP! AAAAAAH!" said the leader of the ex-Communist Mongolian People's Revolutionary Party (they were in Mongolia, after all, even if they didn't know it).
"Okay," said Hermione.
"Ooh!" said Mongolian Dude #1 in Mongolian, "Lookie! It's a pretty castle!"
"Yay!" said Mongolian Dudes #2-9. They all went to take a look, except for #7, who needed glasses and walked in the opposite direction.
Fred was walking arm-in-arm with Angelina in the Forbidden Forest. Of course, it wasn't actually the Forbidden Forest, it was a grassy field of Mongolia, but they didn't know that.
"Angie? I think. . .I love you," he confessed.
She looked him straight in the nose and said, "Yes, and I love mushrooms."
"Oh, Angelina, I'm so happ-wait! What did you say? Angelina? Where are you going?" said Fred, his eyes crossing in confusion.
"MUSHROOOOOOOMS!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!" she screamed as she disappeared off in the distance to find some mushrooms. Fred, loyal as a puppy doggy, ran after her. He found her lying on her belly staring straight at a huge, ugly, orange, Mongolian fungus and grinning like a maniac.
"Angie?"
"DON'T INTERRUPT US!" she roared. Fred stood there hesitantly as she made small talk with the mushroom for a few moments, but soon he decided to sneak away quietly while growing half an onion out his left ear.
Meanwhile, Hermione was having a few problems. She was showing signs of schizophrenia, though Ron just called it symptoms of withdrawal from calcium supplements. Random, Innocent, and Very Ugly Bystander #46 ½ thought it was Fanfictivitis Love Syndrome. He was right.
"Professor," she said to Dumbledore, "I LOVE YOU!" He stared at her for a moment as an abrupt change came over her, "AAH! No I don't! Help! I love HARRY!" She began to search for her dear friend like Snape when he's lost his socks.
She found him somewhere near Filch's office, but by that time, she wasn't in love with him anymore.
"Harry! I lo-hmm. . .nevermind. I love George! No, Ron! No, Snape! No, MALFOY! No, FRED! No, FILCH. No, FLITWICK. NO! BLAISE ZABINI! No, GINNY! No, Professor McGonagall! No, Dobby! No! THE BLOODY BARON!!!!!" She then passed out from lack of air.
Justin Finch-Fletchey, who had watched this spectacle, licked an envelope.
"Help! She's been petrified!" yelled Harry, kneeling over her body. He then touched her hand with a creepy fascination. Am I the only person who noticed that in the 2nd movie he has a strange and unexplained obsession with petrified people's hands?
"She's not petrified. That was, like, SO second year," said Innocent Bystander #0. Harry's ears began to emit steam. This steam took the form of a little purple man. Innocent Bystander #0 and Purple Steam began to dance a tango so complicated that you couldn't see their feet.
Ron, who was in the GCR (Gryffindor Common Room) began to cry for no particular reason.
"Don't cry!" said Ginny, "Would you like a tissue?"
"I'M NOT CRYING!" he sniffled, "My eyes just tear sometimes. . .and it LOOKS like I'm crying, but I'm NOT!" He began to wail pitifully, with his mouth paralyzed in an ugly sort of grin.
"Here, have a tissue," said Mongolian Dude (Female) #2, but she said it in the language of the Mongolians while hanging upside down from the ceiling, as we all know Mongolians often do.
"B-but. . .I'm n-not CRYING!" Ron sobbed. Ron spent the rest of the day in tears and denial.
Meanwhile, Fred was burning several tons of mushrooms at the stake in the Great Hall while singing the alto part of the Hallelujah Chorus, but nobody noticed because things like that happened all the time at Hogwarts, and besides, they all wanted to watch the Snape/Hermione drama.
"I must leave you, Hermione," he said, with a tone as if he was reciting Shakespeare, "We cannot be together. You are in danger as my lover and I would never let you come to danger by my hand!"
"Severus!" she said, using the same tone as his, "I will not let you suffer alone! We are in this together and I will not allow you to make this sacrifice. I would rather live a short, happy life in your arms than a shallow, empty, unthreatened one away from you!"
"Oh, Hermione!"
They kissed, but not for long. All too soon the Anti-Child Molestation Society was coming after Snape with axes, hatchets, pitchforks, torches, arm chairs, and other household weapons. Thank Goodness, I say.
Then the castle chose to walk quietly back to Europe. It had been a nice vacation.
The Mongolian Dudes didn't know what they had gotten themselves into. . .
A/N-I haven't written in a while, I know, and I'm very, very sorry. I've had a lot to do, however and I'm sorry to say that life takes priority over fanfiction. It's a sad world we live in. . .I just hope that I'm making you smile with my parody; that would make my day to know that I brightened someone's face! If you did smile, or even laugh, why don't you tell me so? And if I didn't, then you're welcome to flame me. I will laugh at you. A lot.
No offense meant towards Mongolians!!!! Or mushrooms!!! Or anyone!!!
Inspiration for my last two chapters goes to my family. They force-feed me calcium supplements and are obsessed with mushrooms to the point that it's scaaaaaaary. The even are a part of a Fungus Society. Lord help me. . .
A/N-Before I begin, I would like to answer some reviewer's questions:
I think Voldemort's lipstick should be pink, red would contrast to much with his pale skin and make him look freakish. . .oh, wait, he already is freakish-red it is!
No, I am not on drugs.
Political correctness bugs me a little bit, but I actually just think it's funny when people go psycho for their cause and take offense at every little thing. That's why it's in my parody.
I would love to use Genghis Khan, but you (Theaphelia) beat me to it. Therefore, the stay in Mongolia will not be long. We may have a few Confused Mongolians at Hogwarts, however.
And now, on with this lovely thing I call a parody:
It was an unusual morning. Eighty-seven and a half students had come down with a disease called Pre-Menstrual Syndrome, Ron and Harry included.
"But that's impossible!" said Hermione, coming out of withdrawal from calcium supplements to correct someone, "Only GIRLS can get PMS!"
"SHUT UP! AAAAAAH!" said the leader of the ex-Communist Mongolian People's Revolutionary Party (they were in Mongolia, after all, even if they didn't know it).
"Okay," said Hermione.
"Ooh!" said Mongolian Dude #1 in Mongolian, "Lookie! It's a pretty castle!"
"Yay!" said Mongolian Dudes #2-9. They all went to take a look, except for #7, who needed glasses and walked in the opposite direction.
Fred was walking arm-in-arm with Angelina in the Forbidden Forest. Of course, it wasn't actually the Forbidden Forest, it was a grassy field of Mongolia, but they didn't know that.
"Angie? I think. . .I love you," he confessed.
She looked him straight in the nose and said, "Yes, and I love mushrooms."
"Oh, Angelina, I'm so happ-wait! What did you say? Angelina? Where are you going?" said Fred, his eyes crossing in confusion.
"MUSHROOOOOOOMS!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!" she screamed as she disappeared off in the distance to find some mushrooms. Fred, loyal as a puppy doggy, ran after her. He found her lying on her belly staring straight at a huge, ugly, orange, Mongolian fungus and grinning like a maniac.
"Angie?"
"DON'T INTERRUPT US!" she roared. Fred stood there hesitantly as she made small talk with the mushroom for a few moments, but soon he decided to sneak away quietly while growing half an onion out his left ear.
Meanwhile, Hermione was having a few problems. She was showing signs of schizophrenia, though Ron just called it symptoms of withdrawal from calcium supplements. Random, Innocent, and Very Ugly Bystander #46 ½ thought it was Fanfictivitis Love Syndrome. He was right.
"Professor," she said to Dumbledore, "I LOVE YOU!" He stared at her for a moment as an abrupt change came over her, "AAH! No I don't! Help! I love HARRY!" She began to search for her dear friend like Snape when he's lost his socks.
She found him somewhere near Filch's office, but by that time, she wasn't in love with him anymore.
"Harry! I lo-hmm. . .nevermind. I love George! No, Ron! No, Snape! No, MALFOY! No, FRED! No, FILCH. No, FLITWICK. NO! BLAISE ZABINI! No, GINNY! No, Professor McGonagall! No, Dobby! No! THE BLOODY BARON!!!!!" She then passed out from lack of air.
Justin Finch-Fletchey, who had watched this spectacle, licked an envelope.
"Help! She's been petrified!" yelled Harry, kneeling over her body. He then touched her hand with a creepy fascination. Am I the only person who noticed that in the 2nd movie he has a strange and unexplained obsession with petrified people's hands?
"She's not petrified. That was, like, SO second year," said Innocent Bystander #0. Harry's ears began to emit steam. This steam took the form of a little purple man. Innocent Bystander #0 and Purple Steam began to dance a tango so complicated that you couldn't see their feet.
Ron, who was in the GCR (Gryffindor Common Room) began to cry for no particular reason.
"Don't cry!" said Ginny, "Would you like a tissue?"
"I'M NOT CRYING!" he sniffled, "My eyes just tear sometimes. . .and it LOOKS like I'm crying, but I'm NOT!" He began to wail pitifully, with his mouth paralyzed in an ugly sort of grin.
"Here, have a tissue," said Mongolian Dude (Female) #2, but she said it in the language of the Mongolians while hanging upside down from the ceiling, as we all know Mongolians often do.
"B-but. . .I'm n-not CRYING!" Ron sobbed. Ron spent the rest of the day in tears and denial.
Meanwhile, Fred was burning several tons of mushrooms at the stake in the Great Hall while singing the alto part of the Hallelujah Chorus, but nobody noticed because things like that happened all the time at Hogwarts, and besides, they all wanted to watch the Snape/Hermione drama.
"I must leave you, Hermione," he said, with a tone as if he was reciting Shakespeare, "We cannot be together. You are in danger as my lover and I would never let you come to danger by my hand!"
"Severus!" she said, using the same tone as his, "I will not let you suffer alone! We are in this together and I will not allow you to make this sacrifice. I would rather live a short, happy life in your arms than a shallow, empty, unthreatened one away from you!"
"Oh, Hermione!"
They kissed, but not for long. All too soon the Anti-Child Molestation Society was coming after Snape with axes, hatchets, pitchforks, torches, arm chairs, and other household weapons. Thank Goodness, I say.
Then the castle chose to walk quietly back to Europe. It had been a nice vacation.
The Mongolian Dudes didn't know what they had gotten themselves into. . .
A/N-I haven't written in a while, I know, and I'm very, very sorry. I've had a lot to do, however and I'm sorry to say that life takes priority over fanfiction. It's a sad world we live in. . .I just hope that I'm making you smile with my parody; that would make my day to know that I brightened someone's face! If you did smile, or even laugh, why don't you tell me so? And if I didn't, then you're welcome to flame me. I will laugh at you. A lot.
No offense meant towards Mongolians!!!! Or mushrooms!!! Or anyone!!!
Inspiration for my last two chapters goes to my family. They force-feed me calcium supplements and are obsessed with mushrooms to the point that it's scaaaaaaary. The even are a part of a Fungus Society. Lord help me. . .