~Chapter 8
It was a couple of days later and Victoria was alone in Michael's apartment during the day when she heard a knock at the door and opened it. Isabel stood at the door with a few bags in her hands . ".. Isabel?" Victoria said with some surprise, since generally while she'd been there, no one really visited.
Isabel just looked at her, waiting for Victoria to let her in.
"Um.. Max and Michael, they're not here." -Victoria.
"I know. I didn't come to see them anyway. I came to see you." Isabel said as Victoria stood aside, and Isabel walked right in and put the bags on the couch.
"This is just some stuff you could probably use. Max asked me to bring it." -Isabel.
"He did?" Victoria asked, almost to herself. But Isabel heard it too.
"Yes. And he hasn't made one complaint about you being here for a few days now. What's going on?" Isabel asked, although not too seriously.
"Nothing." -Victoria.
"Hmmm." Isabel said, glancing at the clothes and then to Victoria. "Well, we used to be about the same size. I hadn't realized how smaller you are now."
"Well, losing a child, becoming homeless and losing the person you love could probably be reason enough." Victoria said. She didn't say it sarcastically, however, only simply.
Isabel looked at her seriously now and then a question formed in her mind. "You actually loved Michael?"
"Why does everyone ask me that?" -Victoria.
"Because you betrayed Michael all along." -Isabel.
"I didn't want-" Victoria started to say.
Isabel waved her hand in the air, interrupting. "Oh I know that now." Then she continued, "And number two reason for everyone asking is because - how could a girl fall in love with *Michael*. Not exactly boyfriend material, smart alec, a tremendous temper-"
Victoria intoned, "-sensitive, a beautiful soul, incredibly beautiful, courageous, honorable---" Isabel actually laughed. "So that's how you see Michael? Boy let me tell you a thing or two." When she looked at Victoria and noticed she wasn't kidding, she was serious herself again. "So you do love him. Yeah - Michael maybe he is all those things. I guess you should know. But I've known him for a long time and he's got his issues and he's not exactly heart throb material or a people person, kind of hard to love."
"But you love him." -Victoria.
"Of course. He's practically family. Like a brother. And he is a great guy. Totally different than Max, but a great guy nonetheless." -Isabel.
Isabel looked around at the apartment, just noticing it. "Hey - this places looks pretty good." Then she turned back to Victoria. "You did this?"
Victoria shrugged modestly. "I had to do something besides go crazy."
Isabel looked at Victoria a long moment, as if thinking. Then she said, "How about going out and getting ice cream?"
Victoria was utterly surprised she asked her, but she accepted with an "Okay."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Isabel and Victoria were sitting at a little ice cream shoppe. Isabel ordered a banana split and Victoria, a chocolate sundae. Since she didn't really have anything suitable to wear outside the apartment, Victoria had changed into an outfit that Isabel had brought over.
"My recipe for getting your womanly shape back is - one of these a day and in no time you'll be back with beautiful curves." -Isabel.
Victoria actually laughed.
After the easy moment between them, a period of silence engulfed them. They were both thinking serious thoughts, when Isabel decided to come clean with what had been on her mind. "I must confess that I had an ulterior motive for coming to see you."
Victoria looked up at her.
"Max told me you're one of us, I mean actually from the same place and everything." -Isabel.
Isabel was at a loss for words and for a moment she didn't know what to say. "He told you?"
"My brother and I don't keep secrets from each other. At least - most of the time we don't." -Isabel.
"..What else did he say?" -Victoria.
"Not much. He just said Saelar told you two that you were from the same place and so on." -Isabel.
"That's all?" -Victoria.
"Yes. Why? Is there something more?" -Isabel.
"Not really." -Victoria.
"But Max hopes to find out more. And you too I'm sure." -Isabel.
"What about Michael?" -Isabel.
"We didn't tell him yet. Max said it would be a good idea to wait until we find out more. You know how Michael is impatient and quick to do things, sometimes that he shouldn't -" Isabel.
Victoria nodded, secretly breathing a sigh of relief. She did know how Michael was. But she was relieved that Max hadn't told Isabel all of it and hadn't told Michael at all. If Michael knew. Victoria knew he wouldn't understand.
"It was a huge surprise to hear Max say that - about you. But I know he wouldn't have told me if he hadn't been convinced it was true. How long did you know?" -Isabel.
"Not long." - Victoria.
"Do you remember that life any? I mean do you have memories. My name was .Villandra." Isabel stopped and asked, "Did you know us?" - She asked this in a hesitant way, it seemed to Victoria - to hear the answers. Victoria sensed some fear in Isabel, but why would she be so afraid of the past? But when Isabel said the last part, it got Victoria to think about something else. So - Max hadn't told Isabel that Victoria had even *known* them. Victoria sure hoped this didn't turn into a mess when the truth came out.
Victoria answered, "Not that I can remember."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
That evening, Saelar had come for Victoria and Max again. They had gone and had another 'connection' session. No heavy memories, only pleasant ones, ones tinged with feelings of ease and joy and comfort and . love. Bits and pieces, early times in that life, mostly.
It was night now, and it hadn't been a long time since they'd come back to Michael's apartment. They were sitting on the couch, talking a little, nothing too seriously. They both felt kind of awkward around each other for various reasons, not the least of which was the new realization of their 'relationship'. At least Max wasn't acting hateful to her, actually he wasn't acting mean at all - but rather confused sometimes, intermingled with pleasantness on occasion - and sometimes they even had a feeling of liking each other. But usually when Max would feel something, he would snap himself back to this reality quickly - in a manner of speaking, because he would make himself remember why he'd felt hostility towards Victoria.
They were sitting around and it was late, but they were loathe to go to bed with so much on their minds and so much to think about, so they just sat on the couch pretty much in mutual company without saying much.
Michael came in and slammed the door. They looked to the door, but he wasn't even looking at them. He seemed angry or in a bad mood. But Victoria felt his emotions and he was depressed. She saw - or rather, felt, below the surface. Michael finally noticed them sitting there and he looked surprised. He was very surprised that they weren't at each other's throats- in fact, they looked pretty serene. And they were looking at *him* like he was the disturbed one.
"Michael. I know about you and Maria. If you want to talk about it-" -Max started.
"You don't know anything. As long as you and Liz are blissfully happy, nothing and no one else matters." -Michael snapped.
Max kept himself in check. He knew Michael was having a very rough time. The break up on top of everything else that had been going on, was a hard time for him - so he didn't shout back. He said, instead, "Michael - maybe you should just go to Maria and tell her how you feel, and-"
"How I feel? How do I feel Max, huh, you know everything else. Besides it wouldn't do any good." Michael snapped. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't even know what to feel or do, about. anyone. anymore." .
Victoria got the feeling he was talking about her as well. She looked at Max and saw that he was worried too.
Victoria stood up and caught Michael before he went into his room. She touched his arm, hesitantly, but in an obvious gesture to them both. He jerked away and slammed his door.
It was the first time she had extended herself to him since coming here and he had quickly shown her how he felt about her help, her company, her. Victoria just stood outside his closed door and it was symbolic of the wall between them. He was inside and she was here and he wouldn't let her help him. "Michael." she called - but there was only silence inside. Victoria put a hand to the door, wishing she could reach to him in more ways than one.
Victoria looked back at Max and he was only staring at her, pitying her too perhaps.
-=-
Michael stood just inside the room, his hand on the door. He could feel her just outside it. When she called him, as he always did when he heard her voice, he wanted to touch her. But he also wanted to push her. So he did, he pushed her away again. And he was alone.
~ Mercy - pure and simple . Longing- cold and hollow . With sweet breath you'd come to warm me . But I held on too hard to only a memory . You lie there on the swollen ground . Deserted in your heart . Still longing for what yesterday's lost . And for all that tomorrow might bring . And for all that tomorrow might bring . The passion lost - taken stolen . The dreams we had and we shared - shattered broken . With sweet breath you'd come to soothe me . But I so blind and filled with fear . Would send you away from me . There's no hope in regretting now . All the pain that we could not see . We both knew what we wanted . And we took it believing it free . And we took it believing it free.
It was a couple of days later and Victoria was alone in Michael's apartment during the day when she heard a knock at the door and opened it. Isabel stood at the door with a few bags in her hands . ".. Isabel?" Victoria said with some surprise, since generally while she'd been there, no one really visited.
Isabel just looked at her, waiting for Victoria to let her in.
"Um.. Max and Michael, they're not here." -Victoria.
"I know. I didn't come to see them anyway. I came to see you." Isabel said as Victoria stood aside, and Isabel walked right in and put the bags on the couch.
"This is just some stuff you could probably use. Max asked me to bring it." -Isabel.
"He did?" Victoria asked, almost to herself. But Isabel heard it too.
"Yes. And he hasn't made one complaint about you being here for a few days now. What's going on?" Isabel asked, although not too seriously.
"Nothing." -Victoria.
"Hmmm." Isabel said, glancing at the clothes and then to Victoria. "Well, we used to be about the same size. I hadn't realized how smaller you are now."
"Well, losing a child, becoming homeless and losing the person you love could probably be reason enough." Victoria said. She didn't say it sarcastically, however, only simply.
Isabel looked at her seriously now and then a question formed in her mind. "You actually loved Michael?"
"Why does everyone ask me that?" -Victoria.
"Because you betrayed Michael all along." -Isabel.
"I didn't want-" Victoria started to say.
Isabel waved her hand in the air, interrupting. "Oh I know that now." Then she continued, "And number two reason for everyone asking is because - how could a girl fall in love with *Michael*. Not exactly boyfriend material, smart alec, a tremendous temper-"
Victoria intoned, "-sensitive, a beautiful soul, incredibly beautiful, courageous, honorable---" Isabel actually laughed. "So that's how you see Michael? Boy let me tell you a thing or two." When she looked at Victoria and noticed she wasn't kidding, she was serious herself again. "So you do love him. Yeah - Michael maybe he is all those things. I guess you should know. But I've known him for a long time and he's got his issues and he's not exactly heart throb material or a people person, kind of hard to love."
"But you love him." -Victoria.
"Of course. He's practically family. Like a brother. And he is a great guy. Totally different than Max, but a great guy nonetheless." -Isabel.
Isabel looked around at the apartment, just noticing it. "Hey - this places looks pretty good." Then she turned back to Victoria. "You did this?"
Victoria shrugged modestly. "I had to do something besides go crazy."
Isabel looked at Victoria a long moment, as if thinking. Then she said, "How about going out and getting ice cream?"
Victoria was utterly surprised she asked her, but she accepted with an "Okay."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Isabel and Victoria were sitting at a little ice cream shoppe. Isabel ordered a banana split and Victoria, a chocolate sundae. Since she didn't really have anything suitable to wear outside the apartment, Victoria had changed into an outfit that Isabel had brought over.
"My recipe for getting your womanly shape back is - one of these a day and in no time you'll be back with beautiful curves." -Isabel.
Victoria actually laughed.
After the easy moment between them, a period of silence engulfed them. They were both thinking serious thoughts, when Isabel decided to come clean with what had been on her mind. "I must confess that I had an ulterior motive for coming to see you."
Victoria looked up at her.
"Max told me you're one of us, I mean actually from the same place and everything." -Isabel.
Isabel was at a loss for words and for a moment she didn't know what to say. "He told you?"
"My brother and I don't keep secrets from each other. At least - most of the time we don't." -Isabel.
"..What else did he say?" -Victoria.
"Not much. He just said Saelar told you two that you were from the same place and so on." -Isabel.
"That's all?" -Victoria.
"Yes. Why? Is there something more?" -Isabel.
"Not really." -Victoria.
"But Max hopes to find out more. And you too I'm sure." -Isabel.
"What about Michael?" -Isabel.
"We didn't tell him yet. Max said it would be a good idea to wait until we find out more. You know how Michael is impatient and quick to do things, sometimes that he shouldn't -" Isabel.
Victoria nodded, secretly breathing a sigh of relief. She did know how Michael was. But she was relieved that Max hadn't told Isabel all of it and hadn't told Michael at all. If Michael knew. Victoria knew he wouldn't understand.
"It was a huge surprise to hear Max say that - about you. But I know he wouldn't have told me if he hadn't been convinced it was true. How long did you know?" -Isabel.
"Not long." - Victoria.
"Do you remember that life any? I mean do you have memories. My name was .Villandra." Isabel stopped and asked, "Did you know us?" - She asked this in a hesitant way, it seemed to Victoria - to hear the answers. Victoria sensed some fear in Isabel, but why would she be so afraid of the past? But when Isabel said the last part, it got Victoria to think about something else. So - Max hadn't told Isabel that Victoria had even *known* them. Victoria sure hoped this didn't turn into a mess when the truth came out.
Victoria answered, "Not that I can remember."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
That evening, Saelar had come for Victoria and Max again. They had gone and had another 'connection' session. No heavy memories, only pleasant ones, ones tinged with feelings of ease and joy and comfort and . love. Bits and pieces, early times in that life, mostly.
It was night now, and it hadn't been a long time since they'd come back to Michael's apartment. They were sitting on the couch, talking a little, nothing too seriously. They both felt kind of awkward around each other for various reasons, not the least of which was the new realization of their 'relationship'. At least Max wasn't acting hateful to her, actually he wasn't acting mean at all - but rather confused sometimes, intermingled with pleasantness on occasion - and sometimes they even had a feeling of liking each other. But usually when Max would feel something, he would snap himself back to this reality quickly - in a manner of speaking, because he would make himself remember why he'd felt hostility towards Victoria.
They were sitting around and it was late, but they were loathe to go to bed with so much on their minds and so much to think about, so they just sat on the couch pretty much in mutual company without saying much.
Michael came in and slammed the door. They looked to the door, but he wasn't even looking at them. He seemed angry or in a bad mood. But Victoria felt his emotions and he was depressed. She saw - or rather, felt, below the surface. Michael finally noticed them sitting there and he looked surprised. He was very surprised that they weren't at each other's throats- in fact, they looked pretty serene. And they were looking at *him* like he was the disturbed one.
"Michael. I know about you and Maria. If you want to talk about it-" -Max started.
"You don't know anything. As long as you and Liz are blissfully happy, nothing and no one else matters." -Michael snapped.
Max kept himself in check. He knew Michael was having a very rough time. The break up on top of everything else that had been going on, was a hard time for him - so he didn't shout back. He said, instead, "Michael - maybe you should just go to Maria and tell her how you feel, and-"
"How I feel? How do I feel Max, huh, you know everything else. Besides it wouldn't do any good." Michael snapped. He ran a hand through his hair and said, "I don't even know what to feel or do, about. anyone. anymore." .
Victoria got the feeling he was talking about her as well. She looked at Max and saw that he was worried too.
Victoria stood up and caught Michael before he went into his room. She touched his arm, hesitantly, but in an obvious gesture to them both. He jerked away and slammed his door.
It was the first time she had extended herself to him since coming here and he had quickly shown her how he felt about her help, her company, her. Victoria just stood outside his closed door and it was symbolic of the wall between them. He was inside and she was here and he wouldn't let her help him. "Michael." she called - but there was only silence inside. Victoria put a hand to the door, wishing she could reach to him in more ways than one.
Victoria looked back at Max and he was only staring at her, pitying her too perhaps.
-=-
Michael stood just inside the room, his hand on the door. He could feel her just outside it. When she called him, as he always did when he heard her voice, he wanted to touch her. But he also wanted to push her. So he did, he pushed her away again. And he was alone.
~ Mercy - pure and simple . Longing- cold and hollow . With sweet breath you'd come to warm me . But I held on too hard to only a memory . You lie there on the swollen ground . Deserted in your heart . Still longing for what yesterday's lost . And for all that tomorrow might bring . And for all that tomorrow might bring . The passion lost - taken stolen . The dreams we had and we shared - shattered broken . With sweet breath you'd come to soothe me . But I so blind and filled with fear . Would send you away from me . There's no hope in regretting now . All the pain that we could not see . We both knew what we wanted . And we took it believing it free . And we took it believing it free.