A/N-Responses to some reviews:
devon and afireinside13: No, I'm not on anything, I swear!
Theaphelia: Yes, the Y was intentional.
Twitty-twitter twit twitter twitter twit-twit. ("Anything in the language of Twitter will be translated in parentheses")
Story time:
McGonagall walked into her classroom. All the students were already seated, as they usually are in the movies.
"Settle down, little chickens!" she said, "I have an announcement to make! There will be a second Yule Ball this year to celebrate. . .er. . .OTHER YULE BALLS!. . .yeah, so dress up nice. It'll be NEXT WEEK! It is imperative that you have a date or two. Without one you will not be allowed in! Any questions?"
Draco raised his hand, "Will you go to the Ball with me, Professor?"
The entire class took garbage cans out of their pockets and puked out their breakfast, lunch, the dinner from the night before, and the dinner they hadn't had yet.
"NEVER!" she cried passionately, "Any other questions? No? Okay, class dismissed!"
"But Professor!" said Hermione, "We haven't had our lesson yet!"
McGonagall began to look very reptilian, "Hermione, Hermione," she chided wisely, "No real quality fan fic has classes for anything besides important plot points and nightmarish rubber chickens named Crispy."
"But Professor-"
McGonagall snapped her fingers and five Irish and two Thai mafia men jumped out from behind the desks and apprehended the young girl. They had her bound, gagged, and locked in a broom cupboard (which are very cliché. Why can't it be a MOP cupboard, or a MOOSE cupboard) in less than 3.781 seconds.
McGonagall nodded her approval and they ran off to hide behind things like armor and cheese cubes.
All the girls in the school began to twitter because of the upcoming ball, even Hermione (whom had been magically unlocked from the cupboard).
"Hi, Hermione!" said Ron.
"Twitter. Twitter-twitter?" was all she said in response. ("Hello. What's up?")
"Will you go to the ball with me?" he asked.
"Twitter! Twit-twit-twitter twit! Twitter!" she said happily. ("Of course! I'll have to find something to wear! I'm so happy!")
"Is that a yes?"
"Twitter! Twit!" she cried enthusiastically, "Twit-twitter twi- twitter twit twitter!" ("Yes!")
"Er. . .what?" he said, "I can't understand you."
"Twit," she said. ("Oh! Well, that's okay if we have several communication problems. It doesn't bother me and I hope it won't bother you! When you see me in my red strapless dress, I bet you wont care. Or maybe I should wear the white dress robes. What do you think? Will Ginny be wearing white? I don't want to out do her. That would be mean to your little sister. Did you know that in C++ programming the C compiler translates source into assembly code. The source code is received from the preprocessor. I'm reading a book on it. Isn't that nice?")
"Uh. . .okay. So I'll see you there then?" he asked tentatively.
She nodded. Finally something comprehensible.
"Did she say yes?" Harry asked once Ron came back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"I think so. . .She seemed really happy about it, but she kept calling me a twit. . ." he said. Then he took a nap on a sofa.
Harry had a conquest of his own. He walked into the Great Hall with all the materials. He worked all night and day at his project. When he was done, he hung it up on the wall and stood under it.
"Twit-twitter?" said one girl to another. ("What's Harry Potter doing?")
"Twitter-twit. Twitter-twitty-twit 'twit twitter twit twitty'." said the other. ("How strange. He's standing under a sign that says 'Want to go to the ball with me? I'll go with the highest bidder.'")
When Draco Malfoy bid fifty galleons, Harry changed his mind and burned the sign. Malfoy developed an eyebrow twitch from sadness and anger, but eventually came up with a plan to blackmail Harry into going with him.
He read his secret copies of the five Harry Potter books and discovered Harry's deep dark secret about having a shopping addiction.
"Harry!" he spat, once he had The Boy Who Lived cornered in a dark. . .corner, "I know something about you that you don't want me to know!"
"Okay!" said Harry, "I'll go to the dance with you, then!"
'That was easy!' thought Draco, looking very mollusk-like.
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzjjj======7" said Isabelle the Cat as she walked across my keyboard.
Snape also had a mission. He dressed up in his best robes and oiled his hair. Then he spake to his mirror in his best Syrian accent.
"Will you go to the ball with me?" he said. His skin was as soft as rose petals. Feeling satisfied with himself, he left in pursuit of. . .[short-term cliffie for those who want to push the "back" button already]
"Twitter twitter! Twitter rettiwt! !wit twit twit-twit ter! Twitter!"
The Gryffindor girls were getting ready for the Ball. Parvati was dressed in neon orange robes with magnificent fringey things all along the edges. Lavendar had gone for a more polka-dotted pink-and-elephant theme. Alina (the Gryffindor girl in Harry's year who has never been mentioned before) decided to shave her head in protest of her ill treatment in the first five books.
Hermione was radiant. Her hair was in shimmering curly-cues all down her back. They looked like golden-brown curly fries. She wore only a diamond necklace of rubies and emeralds and a loincloth made of the finest silk from Asia Minor.
When it was time for the ball to start, all the couples met in the Entrance Hall. Hermione and Ron were looking very happy together. Draco and Harry were in a loving fistfight. Snape and [haha, I'm not telling] were also looking very reptilian. Snape's skin was as soft as rose petals. . .ahem. . .yes, so the ball began.
They entered the Great Hall. It wasn't decorated at all. Flitwick was very small. They all were having a ball. Something crashed into a wall. They were at the Yule Ball. It was winter, not fall. Don't forget to call! The music began to crawl. . .
The first song was a slow one and not many people were dancing. They were all too wrapped up in the brassiere flying around the ceiling. Ellipses and question marks could be found in the speech bubbles above everyone's head.
Draco and Harry and Ginny began to dance ring-around-the-rosy style. They all fell down.
"Will you dance with me?" said the wall to Snape.
"[censored for suspense reasons]?" said Snape, "The wall is. . .talking to me."
"Cytokinesis," Snape's date said in a Sri Lankan accent.
Then Hermione saw Ron dancing close with Voldemort.
"You bi-"
THIS SHOW HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED FOR AN EMERGENCY WEATHER UPDATE!
The snow is still coming down faster than ever. We don't recommend leaving your house because the roads are bad and there have been two fatalities-"
FINIS
A/N-This is not one of my favorite chapters. It's more coherent than most, which is VERY BAD. Hope you enjoyed!
Please, please, PLEASE REVIEW! Us fanfiction writers don't get paid for entertaining you. Our only pay is REVIEWS and it makes us REALLY HAPPY when we get them. It'll take five seconds to click the little blue button and type up a few words. I'd REALLY APPRECIATE it!
If you're getting snow, I hope you're enjoying it!
JuicyJuice: (to the wall) Now I'm having even worse troubles! My head has been gone for three whole days and this odd bubble keeps following me around. I have a lynch mob of mini-computer programmers after me and I'm wearing a cat on my head. The voices in my head keep telephoning me from Croatia. What do I DO?
Wall: (in a deep voice) FLOAT TO THE MESOSPHERE!
JuicyJuice: Okay!
devon and afireinside13: No, I'm not on anything, I swear!
Theaphelia: Yes, the Y was intentional.
Twitty-twitter twit twitter twitter twit-twit. ("Anything in the language of Twitter will be translated in parentheses")
Story time:
McGonagall walked into her classroom. All the students were already seated, as they usually are in the movies.
"Settle down, little chickens!" she said, "I have an announcement to make! There will be a second Yule Ball this year to celebrate. . .er. . .OTHER YULE BALLS!. . .yeah, so dress up nice. It'll be NEXT WEEK! It is imperative that you have a date or two. Without one you will not be allowed in! Any questions?"
Draco raised his hand, "Will you go to the Ball with me, Professor?"
The entire class took garbage cans out of their pockets and puked out their breakfast, lunch, the dinner from the night before, and the dinner they hadn't had yet.
"NEVER!" she cried passionately, "Any other questions? No? Okay, class dismissed!"
"But Professor!" said Hermione, "We haven't had our lesson yet!"
McGonagall began to look very reptilian, "Hermione, Hermione," she chided wisely, "No real quality fan fic has classes for anything besides important plot points and nightmarish rubber chickens named Crispy."
"But Professor-"
McGonagall snapped her fingers and five Irish and two Thai mafia men jumped out from behind the desks and apprehended the young girl. They had her bound, gagged, and locked in a broom cupboard (which are very cliché. Why can't it be a MOP cupboard, or a MOOSE cupboard) in less than 3.781 seconds.
McGonagall nodded her approval and they ran off to hide behind things like armor and cheese cubes.
All the girls in the school began to twitter because of the upcoming ball, even Hermione (whom had been magically unlocked from the cupboard).
"Hi, Hermione!" said Ron.
"Twitter. Twitter-twitter?" was all she said in response. ("Hello. What's up?")
"Will you go to the ball with me?" he asked.
"Twitter! Twit-twit-twitter twit! Twitter!" she said happily. ("Of course! I'll have to find something to wear! I'm so happy!")
"Is that a yes?"
"Twitter! Twit!" she cried enthusiastically, "Twit-twitter twi- twitter twit twitter!" ("Yes!")
"Er. . .what?" he said, "I can't understand you."
"Twit," she said. ("Oh! Well, that's okay if we have several communication problems. It doesn't bother me and I hope it won't bother you! When you see me in my red strapless dress, I bet you wont care. Or maybe I should wear the white dress robes. What do you think? Will Ginny be wearing white? I don't want to out do her. That would be mean to your little sister. Did you know that in C++ programming the C compiler translates source into assembly code. The source code is received from the preprocessor. I'm reading a book on it. Isn't that nice?")
"Uh. . .okay. So I'll see you there then?" he asked tentatively.
She nodded. Finally something comprehensible.
"Did she say yes?" Harry asked once Ron came back to the Gryffindor Common Room.
"I think so. . .She seemed really happy about it, but she kept calling me a twit. . ." he said. Then he took a nap on a sofa.
Harry had a conquest of his own. He walked into the Great Hall with all the materials. He worked all night and day at his project. When he was done, he hung it up on the wall and stood under it.
"Twit-twitter?" said one girl to another. ("What's Harry Potter doing?")
"Twitter-twit. Twitter-twitty-twit 'twit twitter twit twitty'." said the other. ("How strange. He's standing under a sign that says 'Want to go to the ball with me? I'll go with the highest bidder.'")
When Draco Malfoy bid fifty galleons, Harry changed his mind and burned the sign. Malfoy developed an eyebrow twitch from sadness and anger, but eventually came up with a plan to blackmail Harry into going with him.
He read his secret copies of the five Harry Potter books and discovered Harry's deep dark secret about having a shopping addiction.
"Harry!" he spat, once he had The Boy Who Lived cornered in a dark. . .corner, "I know something about you that you don't want me to know!"
"Okay!" said Harry, "I'll go to the dance with you, then!"
'That was easy!' thought Draco, looking very mollusk-like.
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzjjj======7" said Isabelle the Cat as she walked across my keyboard.
Snape also had a mission. He dressed up in his best robes and oiled his hair. Then he spake to his mirror in his best Syrian accent.
"Will you go to the ball with me?" he said. His skin was as soft as rose petals. Feeling satisfied with himself, he left in pursuit of. . .[short-term cliffie for those who want to push the "back" button already]
"Twitter twitter! Twitter rettiwt! !wit twit twit-twit ter! Twitter!"
The Gryffindor girls were getting ready for the Ball. Parvati was dressed in neon orange robes with magnificent fringey things all along the edges. Lavendar had gone for a more polka-dotted pink-and-elephant theme. Alina (the Gryffindor girl in Harry's year who has never been mentioned before) decided to shave her head in protest of her ill treatment in the first five books.
Hermione was radiant. Her hair was in shimmering curly-cues all down her back. They looked like golden-brown curly fries. She wore only a diamond necklace of rubies and emeralds and a loincloth made of the finest silk from Asia Minor.
When it was time for the ball to start, all the couples met in the Entrance Hall. Hermione and Ron were looking very happy together. Draco and Harry were in a loving fistfight. Snape and [haha, I'm not telling] were also looking very reptilian. Snape's skin was as soft as rose petals. . .ahem. . .yes, so the ball began.
They entered the Great Hall. It wasn't decorated at all. Flitwick was very small. They all were having a ball. Something crashed into a wall. They were at the Yule Ball. It was winter, not fall. Don't forget to call! The music began to crawl. . .
The first song was a slow one and not many people were dancing. They were all too wrapped up in the brassiere flying around the ceiling. Ellipses and question marks could be found in the speech bubbles above everyone's head.
Draco and Harry and Ginny began to dance ring-around-the-rosy style. They all fell down.
"Will you dance with me?" said the wall to Snape.
"[censored for suspense reasons]?" said Snape, "The wall is. . .talking to me."
"Cytokinesis," Snape's date said in a Sri Lankan accent.
Then Hermione saw Ron dancing close with Voldemort.
"You bi-"
THIS SHOW HAS BEEN INTERRUPTED FOR AN EMERGENCY WEATHER UPDATE!
The snow is still coming down faster than ever. We don't recommend leaving your house because the roads are bad and there have been two fatalities-"
FINIS
A/N-This is not one of my favorite chapters. It's more coherent than most, which is VERY BAD. Hope you enjoyed!
Please, please, PLEASE REVIEW! Us fanfiction writers don't get paid for entertaining you. Our only pay is REVIEWS and it makes us REALLY HAPPY when we get them. It'll take five seconds to click the little blue button and type up a few words. I'd REALLY APPRECIATE it!
If you're getting snow, I hope you're enjoying it!
JuicyJuice: (to the wall) Now I'm having even worse troubles! My head has been gone for three whole days and this odd bubble keeps following me around. I have a lynch mob of mini-computer programmers after me and I'm wearing a cat on my head. The voices in my head keep telephoning me from Croatia. What do I DO?
Wall: (in a deep voice) FLOAT TO THE MESOSPHERE!
JuicyJuice: Okay!