Disclaimer in chapter one.
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Harry watched I horror as Cho fell to the ground.
"NO!" he yelled, jumping out from his hiding place.
The death eater spun around to face him, but Harry tackled him to the ground, pulling his wand out of his hand. Harry resorted to fists, his rage and hate and sadness blinding him of any common sense. He heard a series of pops as more people apparated around him. He looked up and saw that it was the teachers. They were too late.
Professor McGonagall came forward as Harry stood up and bound the death eater with invisible ropes. Other teaches went about doing the same to the death eaters that had been stunned and not gotten away. He stood up and walked over to where his four friends were, where they were gathered around Cho's fallen body. Hermione looked up, tears filling her eyes. Ron looked devastated. Leya just sat silently, having not known Cho, but mourning her death still. Harry turned away from the scene and kicked at a clump of snow, tears filling his eyes.
Why did this always happen? Everyone he got close to died. Why did it have to happen to him? Why did it have to happen at all? His glance fell upon the stunned death eater who had killed her. He stormed over to him.
"Enervate," he whispered. The man's eyes fluttered open.
"You killed her! You killed her! You are going to pay." This was the last straw for Harry. "I swear everyone of you are going to pay!" He pulled his fist back and punched the man on the jaw. His head snapped back.
"Get away from me Potter!" he said, straining at the ropes. Harry recognised the voice, and pulled the hood up. It was a ministry official known as Avery.
"How could you?" He whispered. He put his wand on the man's chest. A rage so strong filled him and all he wanted to do was kill this man, right here. He wanted to kill all of them, for anything they'd ever done too him.
"I should kill you," he whispered to the man.
"Go ahead," the man snarled at him. "The Dark Lord is still going to kill you." Harry grabbed the man's shirt, pulling him forward off the ground. He looked into his eyes.
"You will pay for this," he whispered again. He started pounding the man, in his hate, his rage. He felt the tears streaming down his cheeks. He felt hands pulling him away from Avery and he gave up, shoulders shaking. He looked up at who had pulled him away. It was Snape and McGonagall.
"Leave me alone," he said. "Just leave me alone. I'm sick of this."
"Pull yourself together Potter," said Snape, before spinning and walking over to his daughter, who collapsed in his arms sobbing. Harry suddenly saw a side of Snape he had never seen before, the caring side. Professor McGonagall looked at Harry pityingly. He didn't want their pity. He ran. He heard people calling him back, but he didn't care. He just ran, as though running would get him away from is feelings, from what had happened. It didn't matter. Cho was dead. And it could have easily been Ron or Hermione, or Leya. He stopped only when he became out of breath. He saw Hogwarts ahead of him and trudged through the gates. He didn't know where he was going. He just wandered aimlessly through the corridors. He wondered what was going on now, what his friends were doing. It was all his fault. If he hadn't been friends with her she wouldn't have died. If he hadn't been with Sirius he wouldn't have died. If he hadn't been friends with Cedric, convinced him they should take the cup together, he wouldn't have died. Everything was his fault. Anyone who got close to him was killed. He sagged down on a seat, head in his hands.
It was a while before he realised there was someone standing next to him. He looked up. It was Dumbledore. He looked Serious.
"Come with me Harry," he said. Harry silently stood and followed Dumbledore to his office. Dumbledore gestured to the chair in front of him and he sat. Shortly after that Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall entered, followed by Ron, Hermione, Leya and Fudge, who looked shaken. There was silence in the room for a minute. Harry didn't look at anyone.
Then Dumbledore asked what happened. As if he didn't know all ready. Harry didn't say a word, and let everyone else do all the explaining. She finished and Dumbledore spoke to Harry.
"It sound like you did an admiral job protecting your friends today Harry," he said. Harry looked up at him.
"It doesn't matter though, does it? It wasn't good enough. She's still dead, and the others could have been too. I'm sick of all of it. I don't want to be Harry Potter any more," he said quietly. Everyone could hear his words. "Why did it have to be me? It could have been anyone else. What did I do to deserve this? Everyone I get close to dies. Is it going to be like that forever? Am I going to have to live my life wondering what's around the next corner? Am I going to have to watch more people I love die? Am I going to live forever with this guilt that it was my fault these people died and I couldn't do anything about it? Am I going to spend the rest of my life being an object of, of gossip, with people whispering about me and pointing at me everywhere I go? Because I don't want to. I don't want to be the boy who lived. I want to be a normal person, without having to worry about saving the world. I don't want to be responsible for another person dying. I don't want to wake up bleeding because I have a dream. I don't want to be special." There was silence in the room as everyone took in his words. Finally Dumbledore spoke.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this Harry-" Harry cut him off.
"You're always sorry aren't you?" he asked, pushing his chair back and standing up abruptly. "Sorry doesn't mean anything. It's still going to happen again, and I don't think I could stand that. Nobody cares about how I feel. It's always about how someone else got hurt, how I was so brave, how I'm Harry Potter, the boy who lived. I don't want to hear that I'm special. Nobody ever asks about my feeling. No one stopped to think that maybe I didn't want to be the one to face Voldemort again and again until one of us dies. When I see things, it's always, oh Harry, what did you see, or, what's Voldemort doing now, not are you okay Harry, how do you feel." He paused for a moment when he realised he was yelling, and when he spoke again, his voice was quiet.
"I don't want to be Harry Potter anymore, because I've been stereotyped as the boy with the scar who's defeated Voldemort and is going to do it again. I want to be known as Harry Potter who has feelings and should be treated as a normal person. Snape and Leya are the only two people who have ever treated me like I'm nobody special, and Leya's the only person who has ever asked me how I feel about all of this."
Dumbledore calmly took in everything he was saying, and he heard Hermione sniffle behind him.
"You are special Harry."
"No I'm not. I don't want to be special. You told me yourself that the only reason I survived was because of what my mother did for me. Unless there's something you still haven't told me. Have you told me everything? Are there any more dark secrets I should know?"
Dumbledore merely looked at him, and Harry sat down in defeat.
"You four will stay in the hospital wing tonight. I may need to talk to some of you again. Have Madam Pomfrey see to you. Minerva would you please escort the down to the hospital wing? Severus, I need too talk to you."
Harry stood and left the room, followed by Professor McGonagall and his three friends.
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Snape sat in the chair that Potter had just occupied. Potter had just revealed a side of himself that he had never seen before.
"Do you have a lesson with him tomorrow Severus?" asked Dumbledore.
"Yes. I have only had one with him so far."
"How is he doing?"
"He is proving to be quite powerful. He successfully blocked me from his mind and entered mine twice in a row, after saying he has not been practising."
"Really? I hope we are not putting too much on his shoulders. Remus says Harry can beat him in a duel easily now. And as of late he has been developing some rather interesting skills. First he becomes an animagus, a unicorn at that, then this new found ability to enter your mind, he is a parsel tongue, and he is becoming very powerful. I am worried Severus. I don't know how this has affected him. He has gone through too much to not be changed. First his parents, then Cedric, and now Sirius and Cho. He doesn't seem too care anymore does he?"
"You are right about him being powerful. You should have seen what he did to those death eaters Albus. He defeated the lot of him almost by himself. There were seven death eaters all together up there. Six had been stunned by him. He was strong enough to break through their shields."
"I wonder where this new found power is coming from?"
"Analeya has given me some interesting news. It seems Potter is very powerful. He is able too move things without a wand, just using his mind. He can shape water and she said today he forced a vine too grow around them and build up a snow bank without a wand."
Dumbledore sat up straighter upon hearing that.
"You are saying he is a mage?"
"I believe so."
"This is news to me. When did he become able to do that?"
"Analeya tells me he found out by accident yesterday I believe," said Snape.
Dumbledore seemed to ponder this point for a moment.
"I think the strain is getting to be more than he can take. Poor boy. He has been through more than his fair share; more than any adult should have to endure. Tomorrow, see if you can find any more hidden talents of his," said Dumbledore.
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Harry didn't talk to anybody the next day. He wondered around to his classes in a daze, thinking about Cho and what had happened. He seemed unable to ignore the numbing ain and sense of guilt that was growing in him. He was glad Ron and Hermione had the tact to stay away from him today. He just wanted to be alone. At eight that night, he went to see Snape. He did not feel up for another lesson. They were tiring and he despised working with Snape. He didn't talk to Snape and Snape sensed a change in him. Harry only nodded when Snape asked if he was ready.
Harry felt Snape enter his mind and didn't bother to block him. He was thinking about what had happened to Cedric, and Cho, and most of all, Sirius. He let all the thoughts he had ever had of Voldemort run through his mind, all the horrific things he had seen. He wanted Snape to see them, wanted Snape to know what he had gone through.
Snape saw everything. He saw the flashes of green light; the high cruel laugh as Voldemort killed Lily and James, heard Lily's screams as she tried to protect Harry. He saw the face of Voldemort, as Harry had seen it in his first year, and Tom Riddle in his second year. He saw as Voldemort was reborn, almost felt the remembered pain when Harry was subjected to the Cruciatus curse, saw as Cedric was murdered. He saw as Harry duelled with the Dark Lord, saw the images of Lily and James appear out of Voldemort's wand. He saw the blood dripping down Harry's arm as Wormtail collected his blood. He saw as Sirius toppled through the veil, never to be seen again. He saw the countless dreams Harry had had of Voldemort, rushing by his eye so fast that soon all he could feel were the emotions of every encounter. He could feel the pain, devastation, sadness, rage, grief and sorrow that Harry felt, and the stinging pain that he felt in his scar every time he had a dream.
Suddenly he saw nothing, his mind blocked from Harry's. He looked at Harry with new- found respect for what he had experienced.
"Sit down Potter," he said, moving behind his desk and sitting in his own chair. Harry obeyed, still silent.
"Look at me Potter," Snape ordered. Harry looked up, meeting Snapes gaze. He was surprised at what he saw there. He was no longer the confident open boy. He seemed beaten, down- trodded. He saw sadness and grief I his eyes, and when he looked closer, he saw hatred and fury there. Snape sucked in a deep breath. He remembered seeing that look in Tom Riddle's eyes, and in Voldemort's. It was evil. Snape knew, that eventually the sadness would go away and only hate and anger would remain and that was when the true evil would emerge. He had never thought he would see that look in the eyes of Harry Potter. If he went the other way of course, that would be much better. The pain would never fully go away, but the hate and rage would. Maybe not at Voldemort, but at everyone else. Snape hoped that was what would happen, but he needed help.
"Potter, do you remember Professor Dumbledore telling you some years ago, that one day, the time would come, when you had to decide between what was right, and what was easy?" Harry nodded slowly.
"This is that time Harry. You can choose to ignore the pain inside you and let the hate and the rage fuel you, eat you away, or you can deal with your losses and move on. You cannot let that hat overcome you. You are stronger than that. You are not evil, but that rage and hate that is building up in you is. If you let it consume you, you, too, will become evil, just like him."
"Well it doesn't matter then, does it, because people are all ready dying because of me."
"It is not your fault Harry. People see you as the last chance to defeat Voldemort. Imagine what would happen if you turned to the Dark ways."
"They don't need me. All that ever happens is I get hurt and people die. First my parents, they died because I was so special, then Cedric, because I convinced him to take the cup with me, and then Sirius, who was innocent. He was the closest thing I ever had to a father that I could remember, who was actually here with me. And now Cho. If these people hadn't been involved with me they wouldn't have died. It would be for the best if I just didn't have any friends."
"You need them to help you Potter. Those deaths were not your fault. It all goes back to Voldemort. You must not let him rule you."
"Why not? He is a part of me. I've all ready been told that, and there's nothing I can do about it. One of us is going to win, and I don't know if it can be me. I don't have the heart or the strength to kill anyone, I don't even know if I could kill him, but he has no qualms about it. You know what he said when he killed Cedric? He said- 'kill the spare'. It didn't mean anything to him."
"Well Potter, it's your choice. Right or easy."
He tried to enter Harry's mind again, surprise him and see what he would do, but found he couldn't. There was a brick wall there, blocking him from going any deeper. He pulled back.
"That's very good Potter," which was the closest thing he would ever give as a compliment.
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Harry thought about what Snape had said. Right or easy? He wanted to choose the right thing, but it would be all too easy too give up and let Voldemort take over him, and become evil. He would be killed eventually any way.
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A/N: Sorry to leave it there, but I need to start a new chapter and get everything together. I know Snape was a bit out of character there, but I tried to keep it as realistic as possible. Thank you so much to all of the reviewers.