Chichiri and the Attack of the No Das
By Li Mai
Chichiri was fishing. "No da, no da, no da, no da!" He started singing. Tasuki looked at him through the window of a nearby house. He held his sake bottle out the window.
"Shut-up!" he yelled drunkenly, throwing the bottle out the window and hitting Chichiri in the head. Chichiri just threw it back. When it hit Tasuki he fell over and died. Chichiri went back to singing. Then Miaka passed by.
"Hey Chichiri! How are you?" she said waving happily.
"Fine, no da!" he smiled. She smiled back. Suddenly a group of fan girls ran up behind her.
"How dare you smile at my Chichiri like that!" one of them screamed.
"You get all the guys! It isn't fair!" another one joined in.
"We should kill her!" one of them yelled.
"Yes we should!" they all shouted together. Then they pulled out their giant mallets from their pockets and began bashing Miaka over the head with them.
"Ow!" she said.
"It's not working!" one cried.
"Her heads too thick!" one of them yelled. So they got out their books and bludgeoned her with the corners. Miaka died.
"Yay!" they screamed, running away.
Chichiri started singing again. "No da, no da no da, no da!" he sung. Then he saw Tama-neko playing in the lake. "Cute, no da." Tama-neko was chasing a butterfly. He went further and further into the lake. Then he went under and never came back up.
"Hmm." said Chichiri. Then he looked over to where Miaka's body was. Suddenly Tamahome ran in.
"My love!" he yelled dramatically. "I must die with her, for she is my joy, my life. My light beyond a window break! Let us die like Romeo and Juliet!" He took a bottle of Mercury out of his pocket and drank it. He died. Then Miaka woke up.
"Hey Tamahome," she said. "How are you?" She sat there waiting for a reply. He didn't. "Are you listening to me?! I don't think so!"
"He's dead, no da," said Chichiri. Miaka wiped a finger on his lip.
"What's this red stuff? Is it candy?" She stuffed it in her mouth and died.
Fan girls: "Yay!"
Chichiri watched as Chiriko was running through a nearby field with Mitsukake. Then he also watched as Mitsukake closed his eyes and accidentally ran over him. Mitsukake started crying because he had killed him. Then he closed his eyes and covered them with his hands. He wanted to get help so he started running. He didn't see the tree.
"No da?" Chichiri said. "Oh well, no da." He went back to singing. Then he saw Nuriko chasing Hotohori.
"I love you!" yelled Nuriko.
"Get away!" yelled Hotohori.
"Kiss me!" yelled Nuriko.
"No!" yelled Hotohori. Then he came upon dead Miaka. He bent down to the ground. "My.my love."
"Yes?" said Nuriko.
"Not you!" he yelled. He kissed her, getting the mercury in his mouth. He died. Nuriko looked over to Chichiri.
"What's going on here?!" he yelled. He walked across the stones that lead to the small island that Chichiri was on. Chichiri kept singing. Suddenly he fell into the lake. He yelled for help. Nuriko panicked. "What's happening?!" he screamed. He shrieked as Chichiri's hand slowly sank underwater and Chichiri was gone. Nuriko started crying. "How could I have done this?! How could this have happened?!" Suddenly someone tapped him on the shoulder.
It was Ashton Kutcher. "You've just been Punk'd!" he yelled. All the "dead" people came back to life and started laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" they laughed. Nuriko got in a ball on the ground and started sobbing.
"I hate you." he said.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" And they all lived laughing at Nuriko ever after.
Chichiri was fishing. "No da, no da, no da, no da!" He started singing. Tasuki looked at him through the window of a nearby house. He held his sake bottle out the window.
"Shut-up!" he yelled drunkenly, throwing the bottle out the window and hitting Chichiri in the head. Chichiri just threw it back. When it hit Tasuki he fell over and died. Chichiri went back to singing. Then Miaka passed by.
"Hey Chichiri! How are you?" she said waving happily.
"Fine, no da!" he smiled. She smiled back. Suddenly a group of fan girls ran up behind her.
"How dare you smile at my Chichiri like that!" one of them screamed.
"You get all the guys! It isn't fair!" another one joined in.
"We should kill her!" one of them yelled.
"Yes we should!" they all shouted together. Then they pulled out their giant mallets from their pockets and began bashing Miaka over the head with them.
"Ow!" she said.
"It's not working!" one cried.
"Her heads too thick!" one of them yelled. So they got out their books and bludgeoned her with the corners. Miaka died.
"Yay!" they screamed, running away.
Chichiri started singing again. "No da, no da no da, no da!" he sung. Then he saw Tama-neko playing in the lake. "Cute, no da." Tama-neko was chasing a butterfly. He went further and further into the lake. Then he went under and never came back up.
"Hmm." said Chichiri. Then he looked over to where Miaka's body was. Suddenly Tamahome ran in.
"My love!" he yelled dramatically. "I must die with her, for she is my joy, my life. My light beyond a window break! Let us die like Romeo and Juliet!" He took a bottle of Mercury out of his pocket and drank it. He died. Then Miaka woke up.
"Hey Tamahome," she said. "How are you?" She sat there waiting for a reply. He didn't. "Are you listening to me?! I don't think so!"
"He's dead, no da," said Chichiri. Miaka wiped a finger on his lip.
"What's this red stuff? Is it candy?" She stuffed it in her mouth and died.
Fan girls: "Yay!"
Chichiri watched as Chiriko was running through a nearby field with Mitsukake. Then he also watched as Mitsukake closed his eyes and accidentally ran over him. Mitsukake started crying because he had killed him. Then he closed his eyes and covered them with his hands. He wanted to get help so he started running. He didn't see the tree.
"No da?" Chichiri said. "Oh well, no da." He went back to singing. Then he saw Nuriko chasing Hotohori.
"I love you!" yelled Nuriko.
"Get away!" yelled Hotohori.
"Kiss me!" yelled Nuriko.
"No!" yelled Hotohori. Then he came upon dead Miaka. He bent down to the ground. "My.my love."
"Yes?" said Nuriko.
"Not you!" he yelled. He kissed her, getting the mercury in his mouth. He died. Nuriko looked over to Chichiri.
"What's going on here?!" he yelled. He walked across the stones that lead to the small island that Chichiri was on. Chichiri kept singing. Suddenly he fell into the lake. He yelled for help. Nuriko panicked. "What's happening?!" he screamed. He shrieked as Chichiri's hand slowly sank underwater and Chichiri was gone. Nuriko started crying. "How could I have done this?! How could this have happened?!" Suddenly someone tapped him on the shoulder.
It was Ashton Kutcher. "You've just been Punk'd!" he yelled. All the "dead" people came back to life and started laughing.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" they laughed. Nuriko got in a ball on the ground and started sobbing.
"I hate you." he said.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" And they all lived laughing at Nuriko ever after.