"Dude, check out Valera!" Sirius laughed, pointing a finger towards the
dark-haired girl. Remus turned slowly; Valera had this tendency of bursting
into tears when he was around. Today, however, was a different story;
Valera was standing taller than normal - you could have balanced 'War and
Peace' on her head, apart from the tight bun she wore all her hair scooped
back into. She had poised a pair of lens-less glasses on the bridge of her
nose, and wore a severe expression. Her robes were longer than normal, and
a dark shade of emerald green. Remus gawped. Sirius howled with laughter.
James tried not to laugh, which resulted in an undignified snorting sound.
James turned away to dry his eyes - trying to not laugh was causing them to
water - and caught sight of something else. . .
"Oh, Mother of Merlin, I do not believe this."
Remus turned to look where James was pointing; Ayla, only not Ayla. This Ayla wore glasses that obviously obscured her vision (she'd just stepped on Lily's parakeet), a thin-lipped glare, her normally-blonde-but-now-black hair in a neat bun and long emerald green velvet robes (stained with mustard). McGonagall Junior One and McGonagall Junior Two. The McGonagall Sisters.
"Quick, lets go." Remus muttered, grabbing his friends' arms and dragging them away. This insanity had to stop. Unfortunately, throughout the course of the morning, they discovered that it wasn't just Ayla and Valera who had undergone a transformation - by the end of the day, they'd counted one hundred and seventy five and one half McGonagall Juniors.
"Moony, my deranged werewolf friend, you must be the most popular guy in the whole of England; you have a considerable amount of female supporters, all dressed as your girlfrie- uh. . . Professor."
The addressed boy groaned. "This is bad."
"What are you talking about?" James gaped. "Can you set me up with the tall blonde one?" he pointed at an unskilfully disguised McGonagall-look-a-like, who was hiding behind her Potions homework in order to watch Remus.
"No!" Remus cried, covering his eyes and stepping backwards (into another McGonagall Junior).
"What, you want her?" James looked disappointed. "Then how about that one?" he pointed to another McGonagall, who was hiding behind a lamppost, which had mysteriously appeared in the corridor earlier that day, along with a bus shelter and a hotdog stand.
"No, I don't! I want a quiet life!"
James shrugged. "What's the betting she'll slap me before I've even said more than 'hi, my name's James'?"
"Ninety five percent certain that you'll come away with her handprint."
"Damn it."
* * *
"Mr Lupin, I trust you've done your homework?"
Remus looked up - now, which McGonagall was this one? He hair was slightly wavy - probably from wearing it braided for half her life, and trying to straighten it all at once. Valera. Most defiantly Va- no, wait, Valera was over the other side of the room, talking to James. It must be Latvia. He'd never been aware Latvia liked him that much. . .
"Uh. y-e-a-h. Latvia?"
"You may call me Minerva."
"Minerva, then."
"Yes, Mr Lupin."
"Why the hell are you doing this?"
"Duh - to make James jealous, so that he'll sing to me. Now, act like we're really getting along very, very well." She shoved his homework away and sat down on his knee.
"You are Latvia, right?"
"Who else would I be?" she glared. "Hug me." She commanded.
"Uh. ok then."
'Note to self - never sing to anyone ever again.'
* * *
Things were going to take some fixing, and they were getting worse; James wasn't jealous, he was just furious. and not speaking to Remus, or Latvia. Sirius, who had known James since before they were born, was also not speaking to Remus, and Lily, who appeared the only sane person left in the whole school, kept complaining about how much their counselling would cost. Even Gen, to the utter dismay of Sirius, was dressed like a miniature McGonagall - it was getting out of hand. Hogwarts had turned into a McGonagall Juniors Academy, and Remus hated it. He actually found himself mentally praying, each morning, that he'd go into the Common Room and find it was all a dream. and then he'd be confronted my Valera-Minerva, as her friends knew her, and find that either he must still be asleep, or this was one of those surreal TV shows and he hadn't noticed yet.
Still, things could be worse. He could have fallen down a mineshaft and- no, wait; that would have been good. He wondered what the highest point in Hogwarts was, and if jumping from it could kill you. . .
* * *
Latvia grabbed James' arm and swung him around.
"What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to make you care?" This singing thing was really getting annoying.
"What do I do when lightning strikes me? And I wake to find that you're not there?" James replied, sadly. Ah, yes; perfect.
"What I got to go to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" Latvia let go of James in order to cross her heart.
"What do I say when it's all over?" James tilted his head.
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word." They sang in unison, spinning around although not moving. . . it was one of those wacky film effects.
"It's sad." Latvia sang.
"So sad." James, of course.
"It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd." Lily put her opinion in, finally getting a chance to sing something.
"It's sad." Latvia again, in sincere sadness.
"So sad." James agreed, again. "Why can't we talk it over? Oh, it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word."
Valera was alone in the Common Room, resting her head in her hands in desperation. "What do I do to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" she slid the hair-tie from her tight bun and let her hair fall across her face, like a dark veil. "What do I say when it's all over? Sorry seems to be the hardest word."
"It's sad." Remus sang, softly, from an unnoticed corner of the room.
"So sad." Ayla approved, standing by the window in a corridor, in one of the highest wings.
"It's a sad, sad situation, And it's getting more and more absurd." The voice returned to Latvia. "It's sad."
"So sad." Remus once more. "Why can't we talk it over?"
"Oh, it seems to me," Valera replied, in her sweet voice, "That sorry seems to be the hardest word."
"I'm sorry," they all sang together, reaching a note that shook the school. And then, still in unison - James to Latvia, Latvia to James; Remus to Valera, Valera to Remus; Ayla to Remus, despite the distance; Lily to. everyone. "What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to be heard? What do I do when lightning strikes me? What have I got to do? What have I got to do? When sorry seems to be the hardest word."
"Oh, Mother of Merlin, I do not believe this."
Remus turned to look where James was pointing; Ayla, only not Ayla. This Ayla wore glasses that obviously obscured her vision (she'd just stepped on Lily's parakeet), a thin-lipped glare, her normally-blonde-but-now-black hair in a neat bun and long emerald green velvet robes (stained with mustard). McGonagall Junior One and McGonagall Junior Two. The McGonagall Sisters.
"Quick, lets go." Remus muttered, grabbing his friends' arms and dragging them away. This insanity had to stop. Unfortunately, throughout the course of the morning, they discovered that it wasn't just Ayla and Valera who had undergone a transformation - by the end of the day, they'd counted one hundred and seventy five and one half McGonagall Juniors.
"Moony, my deranged werewolf friend, you must be the most popular guy in the whole of England; you have a considerable amount of female supporters, all dressed as your girlfrie- uh. . . Professor."
The addressed boy groaned. "This is bad."
"What are you talking about?" James gaped. "Can you set me up with the tall blonde one?" he pointed at an unskilfully disguised McGonagall-look-a-like, who was hiding behind her Potions homework in order to watch Remus.
"No!" Remus cried, covering his eyes and stepping backwards (into another McGonagall Junior).
"What, you want her?" James looked disappointed. "Then how about that one?" he pointed to another McGonagall, who was hiding behind a lamppost, which had mysteriously appeared in the corridor earlier that day, along with a bus shelter and a hotdog stand.
"No, I don't! I want a quiet life!"
James shrugged. "What's the betting she'll slap me before I've even said more than 'hi, my name's James'?"
"Ninety five percent certain that you'll come away with her handprint."
"Damn it."
* * *
"Mr Lupin, I trust you've done your homework?"
Remus looked up - now, which McGonagall was this one? He hair was slightly wavy - probably from wearing it braided for half her life, and trying to straighten it all at once. Valera. Most defiantly Va- no, wait, Valera was over the other side of the room, talking to James. It must be Latvia. He'd never been aware Latvia liked him that much. . .
"Uh. y-e-a-h. Latvia?"
"You may call me Minerva."
"Minerva, then."
"Yes, Mr Lupin."
"Why the hell are you doing this?"
"Duh - to make James jealous, so that he'll sing to me. Now, act like we're really getting along very, very well." She shoved his homework away and sat down on his knee.
"You are Latvia, right?"
"Who else would I be?" she glared. "Hug me." She commanded.
"Uh. ok then."
'Note to self - never sing to anyone ever again.'
* * *
Things were going to take some fixing, and they were getting worse; James wasn't jealous, he was just furious. and not speaking to Remus, or Latvia. Sirius, who had known James since before they were born, was also not speaking to Remus, and Lily, who appeared the only sane person left in the whole school, kept complaining about how much their counselling would cost. Even Gen, to the utter dismay of Sirius, was dressed like a miniature McGonagall - it was getting out of hand. Hogwarts had turned into a McGonagall Juniors Academy, and Remus hated it. He actually found himself mentally praying, each morning, that he'd go into the Common Room and find it was all a dream. and then he'd be confronted my Valera-Minerva, as her friends knew her, and find that either he must still be asleep, or this was one of those surreal TV shows and he hadn't noticed yet.
Still, things could be worse. He could have fallen down a mineshaft and- no, wait; that would have been good. He wondered what the highest point in Hogwarts was, and if jumping from it could kill you. . .
* * *
Latvia grabbed James' arm and swung him around.
"What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to make you care?" This singing thing was really getting annoying.
"What do I do when lightning strikes me? And I wake to find that you're not there?" James replied, sadly. Ah, yes; perfect.
"What I got to go to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" Latvia let go of James in order to cross her heart.
"What do I say when it's all over?" James tilted his head.
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word." They sang in unison, spinning around although not moving. . . it was one of those wacky film effects.
"It's sad." Latvia sang.
"So sad." James, of course.
"It's a sad, sad situation. And it's getting more and more absurd." Lily put her opinion in, finally getting a chance to sing something.
"It's sad." Latvia again, in sincere sadness.
"So sad." James agreed, again. "Why can't we talk it over? Oh, it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word."
Valera was alone in the Common Room, resting her head in her hands in desperation. "What do I do to make you want me? What I got to do to be heard?" she slid the hair-tie from her tight bun and let her hair fall across her face, like a dark veil. "What do I say when it's all over? Sorry seems to be the hardest word."
"It's sad." Remus sang, softly, from an unnoticed corner of the room.
"So sad." Ayla approved, standing by the window in a corridor, in one of the highest wings.
"It's a sad, sad situation, And it's getting more and more absurd." The voice returned to Latvia. "It's sad."
"So sad." Remus once more. "Why can't we talk it over?"
"Oh, it seems to me," Valera replied, in her sweet voice, "That sorry seems to be the hardest word."
"I'm sorry," they all sang together, reaching a note that shook the school. And then, still in unison - James to Latvia, Latvia to James; Remus to Valera, Valera to Remus; Ayla to Remus, despite the distance; Lily to. everyone. "What I got to do to make you love me? What I got to do to be heard? What do I do when lightning strikes me? What have I got to do? What have I got to do? When sorry seems to be the hardest word."