Lose Yourself - By Hazel
I am of the opinion that very high school in the world is blessed with at least one fairy tale romance.
My mother never tires of telling me about the 'Beauty and the Beast' couple whose love blossomed when she had attended high school.
My own high school witnessed a kind of modern day Cinderella story. I was more a curious onlooker than active participant in the romance; nonetheless it was very much like a fairy tale. And Sunnydale High was subjected to a very complicated mixture of two fairy tales, so to speak. It was dubbed 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad', originally meant to be 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf' but the last was omitted on the request of the wolf himself, due to matters relating to 'integrity'.
Once upon a time... oh heck... here goes nothing...
*********************
Sixth Period Lunch at Sunnydale High and Buffy Summers was having a very bad day.
A very, very bad day. And it was all his fault. She wasn't even going think his name.
Stupid bleached Satan that he was. Driving his girlfriend away so that she'd be free to steal her boyfriend.
Buffy fumed and carefully but speedily reduced her napkin to shreds as her best friends Willow and Xander looked on in silent concern. Even Xander's normally loquacious and tactless girlfriend Cordelia, had sense enough to know that a moody Buffy was about as safe as an atomic bomb.
As Buffy proceeded to take a malicious pleasure in beheading her Gummi bears, Willow, who hitherto had been facing the wrath of Buffy bravely, retreated in the comforting shelter of her boyfriend Oz's arms and Xander mentally prepared himself to save his own Gummi bears from decapitation and possible dismemberment.
Suddenly as if sensing danger, Buffy looked up and groaned.
So it's really true. Think of the devil and the devil appears...
For walking toward the table adjacent and very close to hers was Spike Giles, her arch rival and mortal enemy.
Buffy felt the rage boiling within her at the mere sight of Spike so she stared determinedly at her lunch tray trying to ignore him. She didn't want to start a fight as she was already treading on very thin ice with Principal Snyder at the moment.
Please let him not say anything... please let him not say any...
"Not in a good mood today are we, pet?"
He was the reason Angel had left her. If he had been able to hold on to Drusilla none of this would have happened. How dare he talk to her!!
That does it he's toast!!
And before she knew what she was doing she had picked up a hand full of her unappetizing looking French fries and had tossed them at him.
"Ahhhhhhh!! Food fight!!!" bellowed someone. And within seconds the school cafeteria looked as if had been hit by a cyclone.
And as she busily hurled a slice of apple at Spike in the back of her mind Buffy knew that things could only get worse.
*********************
Principal Snyder was a short balding man whose resemblance to a gargoyle was uncanny.
He was currently sitting at the desk in his office and engaging in a silent two way glaring match with its other two occupants, Buffy and Spike.
"A lot of educators say," he began conversationally "'Think of your Principal as your friend.'"
A look of relief began to spread over the faces of the two teens in front of him.
He smiled vindictively
"I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner."
Buffy swallowed.
Spike swallowed too.
Bloody bint starts a sodding food throwing marathon and I get punished. Equality, Liberty, Fraternity, my arse!
He glanced at Buffy. Angry as he was he couldn't help but feel a tiny tinge of amusement at her horrified expression. She looked as if she was about to be crucified.
"I fail to see the amusing side of this matter, Mr. Giles," Snyder said.
Yeah well. Gargoyles aren't famous for their sense of humor.
"Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in the school?"
Buffy Summers
"Well it's quite a match between you two. On the one hand Spike hasn't polluted the school pool by pouring dye into the water."
"It was potassium permanganate," muttered Buffy sullenly.
"On the other hand Buffy has never set fire to a school building."
"Well the Fire Marshall said it could have been mice," Spike offered helpfully.
"Mice?"
"Mice that were smoking," he defended himself.
"The two of you seemed to be tied in the class cutting and fight starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting."
Uh-oh.
*********************
About half an hour later the class president Riley Finn could be seen running around looking harassed as he herded all the students into the auditorium.
He need not have gone to too much trouble as by now almost everyone had heard about the big fight and were speculating the subject of the punishment. An assembly in the middle of the day was not a common occurrence and every student was convinced that this assembly had been convened to make public the punishment Buffy and Spike were to face. The auditorium therefore was filled with students.
"She didn't!!!"
"He couldn't have!"
"I heard they're going to be expelled..."
"Well I heard that they're going to jail..."
"You're both wrong. They're..."
"Shhhhhhhhhh!! Snyder's coming!!"
An unnatural hush spread over the audience as their Principal made his way to the stage.
He was closely followed by the notorious pair who was still shooting daggers at each other.
Snyder mounted the podium and cleared his throat.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began with a sardonic smile, "The school board feels that with the current condition of the country immediate steps have to be taken to educate you, the youth of America, about the principles of commitment and cooperation."
Commitment?
Co-operation?
What happened to punishment?
The students stared at Snyder in disbelief. Here was a perfectly good opportunity to punish his least favorite students and he was yapping about things he definitely didn't believe in.
"...are embarking on the tedious journey into adulthood. You must prove yourselves to be worthwhile members of society. Keeping this in mind the school board has introduced a new and changed programme to educate you, our future..." Snyder clearly didn't look like he believed half the hokum he was spouting.
Some people began to yawn.
Others began to feel slightly bitter. Why get their hopes up about a row between him, Buffy and Spike if all he was going to do was babble about school spirit and adulthood?
"...marriage."
Marriage?
Suddenly everyone pricked up their ears.
"The increasing divorce rate in the country is a constant source of problems. This new educational programme is a multidisciplinary unit. In the next few weeks we are adopting this programme to educate the students of Sunnydale High about the institution of marriage. Starting now the boys have one week to 'propose' to one, I repeat, one girl of their choice. These couples will then be pronounced 'married'."
Snyder smiled at the sea of confused faces before continuing, "You will all be given new timetables suit yourselves and your chosen 'spouse'. You will attend classes together, eat together, and do your homework assignments together. In short, you will behave as a civilized married couple should. Our classes have been specially modified to suit this new programme. You will be graded by your respective subject teachers on your behaviour, cooperation and chemistry. Divorces will not be granted under any circumstances. This finally brings us to the matter at hand."
Everyone in the audience looked at Spike and Buffy, who were standing at either ends of the stage and alternating murderous looks at each other and Snyder.
Snyder's smile widened as his voice dropped dangerously. "You all know I do not tolerate misbehaviour of any kind in my school. I am sure that you all agree with me that this time Miss Summers and Mr. Giles have gone just a bit too far. So in a bid to end their 'enmity' once and for all, I have decided that in keeping with the spirit of our little 'project' Miss Summers and Mr. Giles are 'married' as of now. And I assure you, if their 'marriage' is not successful they face... expulsion." He beamed gleefully at the happy prospect.
The rest of the school sat in a shell shocked silence.
On stage Buffy, red with embarrassment and humiliation was clearly wishing she could evaporate on the spot.
Spike seemed to be throwing a silent tantrum, his normally pale face livid.
Slowly the student body seemed to absorb the various bits of information they had received. They filed out of the auditorium in a frenzy of babble and laughter, leaving Spike and Buffy alone on the stage.
I am of the opinion that very high school in the world is blessed with at least one fairy tale romance.
My mother never tires of telling me about the 'Beauty and the Beast' couple whose love blossomed when she had attended high school.
My own high school witnessed a kind of modern day Cinderella story. I was more a curious onlooker than active participant in the romance; nonetheless it was very much like a fairy tale. And Sunnydale High was subjected to a very complicated mixture of two fairy tales, so to speak. It was dubbed 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad', originally meant to be 'Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf' but the last was omitted on the request of the wolf himself, due to matters relating to 'integrity'.
Once upon a time... oh heck... here goes nothing...
*********************
Sixth Period Lunch at Sunnydale High and Buffy Summers was having a very bad day.
A very, very bad day. And it was all his fault. She wasn't even going think his name.
Stupid bleached Satan that he was. Driving his girlfriend away so that she'd be free to steal her boyfriend.
Buffy fumed and carefully but speedily reduced her napkin to shreds as her best friends Willow and Xander looked on in silent concern. Even Xander's normally loquacious and tactless girlfriend Cordelia, had sense enough to know that a moody Buffy was about as safe as an atomic bomb.
As Buffy proceeded to take a malicious pleasure in beheading her Gummi bears, Willow, who hitherto had been facing the wrath of Buffy bravely, retreated in the comforting shelter of her boyfriend Oz's arms and Xander mentally prepared himself to save his own Gummi bears from decapitation and possible dismemberment.
Suddenly as if sensing danger, Buffy looked up and groaned.
So it's really true. Think of the devil and the devil appears...
For walking toward the table adjacent and very close to hers was Spike Giles, her arch rival and mortal enemy.
Buffy felt the rage boiling within her at the mere sight of Spike so she stared determinedly at her lunch tray trying to ignore him. She didn't want to start a fight as she was already treading on very thin ice with Principal Snyder at the moment.
Please let him not say anything... please let him not say any...
"Not in a good mood today are we, pet?"
He was the reason Angel had left her. If he had been able to hold on to Drusilla none of this would have happened. How dare he talk to her!!
That does it he's toast!!
And before she knew what she was doing she had picked up a hand full of her unappetizing looking French fries and had tossed them at him.
"Ahhhhhhh!! Food fight!!!" bellowed someone. And within seconds the school cafeteria looked as if had been hit by a cyclone.
And as she busily hurled a slice of apple at Spike in the back of her mind Buffy knew that things could only get worse.
*********************
Principal Snyder was a short balding man whose resemblance to a gargoyle was uncanny.
He was currently sitting at the desk in his office and engaging in a silent two way glaring match with its other two occupants, Buffy and Spike.
"A lot of educators say," he began conversationally "'Think of your Principal as your friend.'"
A look of relief began to spread over the faces of the two teens in front of him.
He smiled vindictively
"I say think of me as your judge, jury and executioner."
Buffy swallowed.
Spike swallowed too.
Bloody bint starts a sodding food throwing marathon and I get punished. Equality, Liberty, Fraternity, my arse!
He glanced at Buffy. Angry as he was he couldn't help but feel a tiny tinge of amusement at her horrified expression. She looked as if she was about to be crucified.
"I fail to see the amusing side of this matter, Mr. Giles," Snyder said.
Yeah well. Gargoyles aren't famous for their sense of humor.
"Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in the school?"
Buffy Summers
"Well it's quite a match between you two. On the one hand Spike hasn't polluted the school pool by pouring dye into the water."
"It was potassium permanganate," muttered Buffy sullenly.
"On the other hand Buffy has never set fire to a school building."
"Well the Fire Marshall said it could have been mice," Spike offered helpfully.
"Mice?"
"Mice that were smoking," he defended himself.
"The two of you seemed to be tied in the class cutting and fight starting events. You really are neck and neck here. It's quite exciting."
Uh-oh.
*********************
About half an hour later the class president Riley Finn could be seen running around looking harassed as he herded all the students into the auditorium.
He need not have gone to too much trouble as by now almost everyone had heard about the big fight and were speculating the subject of the punishment. An assembly in the middle of the day was not a common occurrence and every student was convinced that this assembly had been convened to make public the punishment Buffy and Spike were to face. The auditorium therefore was filled with students.
"She didn't!!!"
"He couldn't have!"
"I heard they're going to be expelled..."
"Well I heard that they're going to jail..."
"You're both wrong. They're..."
"Shhhhhhhhhh!! Snyder's coming!!"
An unnatural hush spread over the audience as their Principal made his way to the stage.
He was closely followed by the notorious pair who was still shooting daggers at each other.
Snyder mounted the podium and cleared his throat.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," he began with a sardonic smile, "The school board feels that with the current condition of the country immediate steps have to be taken to educate you, the youth of America, about the principles of commitment and cooperation."
Commitment?
Co-operation?
What happened to punishment?
The students stared at Snyder in disbelief. Here was a perfectly good opportunity to punish his least favorite students and he was yapping about things he definitely didn't believe in.
"...are embarking on the tedious journey into adulthood. You must prove yourselves to be worthwhile members of society. Keeping this in mind the school board has introduced a new and changed programme to educate you, our future..." Snyder clearly didn't look like he believed half the hokum he was spouting.
Some people began to yawn.
Others began to feel slightly bitter. Why get their hopes up about a row between him, Buffy and Spike if all he was going to do was babble about school spirit and adulthood?
"...marriage."
Marriage?
Suddenly everyone pricked up their ears.
"The increasing divorce rate in the country is a constant source of problems. This new educational programme is a multidisciplinary unit. In the next few weeks we are adopting this programme to educate the students of Sunnydale High about the institution of marriage. Starting now the boys have one week to 'propose' to one, I repeat, one girl of their choice. These couples will then be pronounced 'married'."
Snyder smiled at the sea of confused faces before continuing, "You will all be given new timetables suit yourselves and your chosen 'spouse'. You will attend classes together, eat together, and do your homework assignments together. In short, you will behave as a civilized married couple should. Our classes have been specially modified to suit this new programme. You will be graded by your respective subject teachers on your behaviour, cooperation and chemistry. Divorces will not be granted under any circumstances. This finally brings us to the matter at hand."
Everyone in the audience looked at Spike and Buffy, who were standing at either ends of the stage and alternating murderous looks at each other and Snyder.
Snyder's smile widened as his voice dropped dangerously. "You all know I do not tolerate misbehaviour of any kind in my school. I am sure that you all agree with me that this time Miss Summers and Mr. Giles have gone just a bit too far. So in a bid to end their 'enmity' once and for all, I have decided that in keeping with the spirit of our little 'project' Miss Summers and Mr. Giles are 'married' as of now. And I assure you, if their 'marriage' is not successful they face... expulsion." He beamed gleefully at the happy prospect.
The rest of the school sat in a shell shocked silence.
On stage Buffy, red with embarrassment and humiliation was clearly wishing she could evaporate on the spot.
Spike seemed to be throwing a silent tantrum, his normally pale face livid.
Slowly the student body seemed to absorb the various bits of information they had received. They filed out of the auditorium in a frenzy of babble and laughter, leaving Spike and Buffy alone on the stage.