Now I Lay Me Down to
Sleep
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Thy love guard me through the night
And wake me with the morning light
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
-traditional children's bedtime prayer
I lay awake that night, in another strange bed in another bumfuck town, listening to the wind yowl and complain, sleep a foregone illusion. Rattling the shutters of the inn we were staying at the storm sent everything not brought in or nailed down crashing against the stucco walls of the building. Wind this time of year, of the seventh month, carries with it the hungry ghosts. Some looking for a meal of the unwary or unlucky, while others complaining that we the living have forsaken our memory of them in the commotion of our everyday lives.
As if it could be that easy .
In the darkness, I could make out the dim figure of the man sleeping next to me. I still can't get over it; I've got Genjo Sanzo in bed..with me! 31st Doa, select of Buddha, formal heir of the Maten and Saten scriptures. Wow, do I sound like I'm bragging? HELL YEAH! It's not every day of the week you've got Buddha's main man in the rack with you. I never get tired of saying all that stuff.
But tonight it's more then just who I have with me, as much as its I have someone. Ok, so Sanzo has got to work on the cuddling thing and the post-romp chit-chat, but he's there when the nightmares of Mothers death come back in all its gory Technicolor re-runs. "Shhhhhh," he'd whisper. "You're too fucking noisy." Ok, not the best bed side manner but his hands and lips made up for it. Stroking my hair in the darkness, where no one could see the tenderness of the gesture, not even him, he'd do some of that monk type voodoo/hoodoo to smooth and settle the horrors away. Then running his tongue lightly up the salty tracts left by tears to my eye lids, he'd kiss them feather light. "Dumb ass," he says with a hint of affection in his voice. "Don't you know I'm here?"
Tonight the phantoms of my past search for me, hungry not only for life and limb, but greedy for my soul. Those whom I've killed since this journey began, those who've met their end when, after losing at cards, the morons decided to jump me on the way home. Not a good idea to mess with a half-breed you hosers, we don't die easy. Then of course, there is Mother. Some times I can still hear her wailing in the night. Tears never ending because the man she loved loved her not enough and the woman who gave me life even more, but again not enough to save her. These two ghosts are the ones that send me cowering under the covers and shivering in Sanzo's arms.
A fellow from Macao once told me that the spirits of wronged women flock together, take on the form of crows to wreak vengeance upon the men who victimized them. He called them the E-Ah-Me* or the Angry Mothers. Birds of a feather, he'd joke nervously, who steal a man's soul and hard on just as fast as they'd rob the gold from his pockets. He was seeing a shaman in hopes of being dropped below their radar for a while; apparently he had not been the most faithful of husbands while the wife was still in caporal form. Oh well, sucked to be him.
But still, since that day I've been careful to step inside or cover my head in presence of these dark winged mothers.
But tonight, will they find me? I feel it in my heart they shall. Lord Buddha, it's me Goyjo. Sha Goyjo, red head half youkai guy, in love....errr... lust with one of your Sanzos. Know you haven't heard from me in a while. Ok, except when Sanzo and me are hollering your name when we're...ok, so you really didn't need to know all that. But any who, it's me and I'm scared. Yeah me, go figure. Scared of something I can't slice dice into a billion little pieces of demon kibble.
Your Lordship sir, it's my Mom and my Birth Mom. It's my fault, my fault, my grievous sin. I'm the reason both are E-Ah-Me, I condemned them to this fate. My existence; my fault, my fault, my grievous sin.
You have no real good reason to help, except if you want this whole stupid mission to work out right that is. You must want me around or you wouldn't have had the Merciful Goddess..
Merciful Goddess takes a wicked bad ah choo.
..ask for me in particular. Go figure. But anyway, any who your Buddha- ness, drop me below their radar. Keep me safe.......
And of course it's at moment the wind rips open one of the shutters. Cold air, dirt and leaves dust devil dance around the room. They're here!
I sit stock still as the gusts snake my hair and bed covers into tangles. Watching the phantasms swirl and eddy about the room, I see a face here, an arm there, body parts contorted in agony, damned to ride this nightmare every seventh month. Then I see her; Mother. Tears still flowing, gashed stomach gushing blood from where Jien ended her life and give me mine. The woman who bore me stands behind her, shackles about her neck, the end of the chain in my Mother's hand. Was this her punishment for birthing an abomination? Was her wrong so great that she had to face this level of Hell for dying and escaping the disgrace of her taboo bastard son?
Maybe it is time for me to go. My fault, my fault, my grievous sin.
Slowly I get up. I see Mother has another neck shackle ready for me. How nice, now she can have a matched set of damned souls. I bow low; hair falling to either side of my face leaving the back of my neck exposed to her gaze and desires. "Mother, take me away, I will accept whatever you have......."
"Get back into bed you Asshole," I feel a hand grip my shoulder and tumble me back on to the mattress. "Good God Almighty!" A very irritated voice sent both me and the ghosts a shaken in our skivvies. "I'm cold, they're dead hence I rate and they can eat shit."
"Sanzo?!" Flat on my back, I stare dumbfounded up at my lover. Sanzo was standing over me, banishing gun in one hand and with the other, unreeling his scripture. Any other time, a great view, right now..just a little scary.
"If these dumb dead jerk offs," now his voice got really loud and really nasty. DON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW," his purple eyes glittered stonily cold in the glow created as the scriptures came to life. "ME AND MY SCRIPTURE WILL RIP THEIR FUCKING FACES OFF! " He began the chant to awaken.
My Sanzo. Ain't he a caution? Standing there buck ass naked except for the Maten Scripture writhing about his shoulders. Did I especially mention the naked part? Love that part. A naked Sanzo makes you believe in God, Buddha.place name of Higher Power in this space kinda thing. It's a Kodak moment.
Mom and the rest of the spooks kinda hesitated for a moment. You know that," he's only a mortal man and can't stop us" bullshit. Well, that is right up until Sanzo started the release portion of the chant. Then you could see that, "okay, look at the time, it's getting late, sunrise is in an hour and I think I left something on burning on the stove," kinda panicked look.
"MEJIO....."
And with that they were gone. Leaves, dirt and dust all swirling out the window after them with the shutter slamming shut with the last of the E-Ah-Me.
And with the nonchalant air of some one who'd just woken up to use the can, Sanzo tossed the banishing gun back on the night stand. With casual reverence he took off the scripture, it had obediently rolled it's deadly little self back up into its innocent looking scrolled up self, and then he dropped himself back into bed. "I'm still cold," he said huffily. "Warm me up."
Sliding down between the covers, I spooned against Sanzos back. He was frosty, in more ways then one. "What did you think you were doing?" He hissed as my arms came around his chest, pulling him into a tender embrace. "Just how stupid can you be?"
"I...I just wanted to stop Mother from crying." Lame, lame, lame, even to my ears. But it was the truth.
"Moron," Sanzo said. "Do you really think the subjugation of your soul would have stopped her pain? Or eased her agony? The E-Ah-Me never stop suffering or bringing suffering, it is their part in Karma. One joins them of their own free will, it's their Hell or Heaven until they can rejoin the wheel of life and are reborn."
"Oh," I replied in a tiny voice. "It's just that......"
"Skip the 'justs', the 'buts' and every other excuse you got," Sanzo flipped over and pulled my face close to his. "Because there are no excuses good enough to get you out of this mission. If I gotta be here, you gotta be here. Got it?!"
I nodded. "Okay," he said. "Now that settled, warm me up."
About an hour later, we dozed in that lovely and might I add very warm haze of sexual bliss. "So, the Buddha does answer prayers even ones from wayward kappas like me. " I said muzzily into Sanzo's neck. "Just don't kill him if we ever do run into him, ok?"
"Dumb ass." Harsh words from a man whose hand stroked my cheek with such tenderness, that it only could be done in the darkness where no one could see, not even him.
*Found in Portuguese folklore, and being that Macao had been a Portuguese protectorate spirits and their kind have a way of following their kinsman where ever they go, hence the Angry Mothers would be found in China. The same way the banshee, duppies and goat suckers have all been seen far from their native lands.
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
Thy love guard me through the night
And wake me with the morning light
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
-traditional children's bedtime prayer
I lay awake that night, in another strange bed in another bumfuck town, listening to the wind yowl and complain, sleep a foregone illusion. Rattling the shutters of the inn we were staying at the storm sent everything not brought in or nailed down crashing against the stucco walls of the building. Wind this time of year, of the seventh month, carries with it the hungry ghosts. Some looking for a meal of the unwary or unlucky, while others complaining that we the living have forsaken our memory of them in the commotion of our everyday lives.
As if it could be that easy .
In the darkness, I could make out the dim figure of the man sleeping next to me. I still can't get over it; I've got Genjo Sanzo in bed..with me! 31st Doa, select of Buddha, formal heir of the Maten and Saten scriptures. Wow, do I sound like I'm bragging? HELL YEAH! It's not every day of the week you've got Buddha's main man in the rack with you. I never get tired of saying all that stuff.
But tonight it's more then just who I have with me, as much as its I have someone. Ok, so Sanzo has got to work on the cuddling thing and the post-romp chit-chat, but he's there when the nightmares of Mothers death come back in all its gory Technicolor re-runs. "Shhhhhh," he'd whisper. "You're too fucking noisy." Ok, not the best bed side manner but his hands and lips made up for it. Stroking my hair in the darkness, where no one could see the tenderness of the gesture, not even him, he'd do some of that monk type voodoo/hoodoo to smooth and settle the horrors away. Then running his tongue lightly up the salty tracts left by tears to my eye lids, he'd kiss them feather light. "Dumb ass," he says with a hint of affection in his voice. "Don't you know I'm here?"
Tonight the phantoms of my past search for me, hungry not only for life and limb, but greedy for my soul. Those whom I've killed since this journey began, those who've met their end when, after losing at cards, the morons decided to jump me on the way home. Not a good idea to mess with a half-breed you hosers, we don't die easy. Then of course, there is Mother. Some times I can still hear her wailing in the night. Tears never ending because the man she loved loved her not enough and the woman who gave me life even more, but again not enough to save her. These two ghosts are the ones that send me cowering under the covers and shivering in Sanzo's arms.
A fellow from Macao once told me that the spirits of wronged women flock together, take on the form of crows to wreak vengeance upon the men who victimized them. He called them the E-Ah-Me* or the Angry Mothers. Birds of a feather, he'd joke nervously, who steal a man's soul and hard on just as fast as they'd rob the gold from his pockets. He was seeing a shaman in hopes of being dropped below their radar for a while; apparently he had not been the most faithful of husbands while the wife was still in caporal form. Oh well, sucked to be him.
But still, since that day I've been careful to step inside or cover my head in presence of these dark winged mothers.
But tonight, will they find me? I feel it in my heart they shall. Lord Buddha, it's me Goyjo. Sha Goyjo, red head half youkai guy, in love....errr... lust with one of your Sanzos. Know you haven't heard from me in a while. Ok, except when Sanzo and me are hollering your name when we're...ok, so you really didn't need to know all that. But any who, it's me and I'm scared. Yeah me, go figure. Scared of something I can't slice dice into a billion little pieces of demon kibble.
Your Lordship sir, it's my Mom and my Birth Mom. It's my fault, my fault, my grievous sin. I'm the reason both are E-Ah-Me, I condemned them to this fate. My existence; my fault, my fault, my grievous sin.
You have no real good reason to help, except if you want this whole stupid mission to work out right that is. You must want me around or you wouldn't have had the Merciful Goddess..
Merciful Goddess takes a wicked bad ah choo.
..ask for me in particular. Go figure. But anyway, any who your Buddha- ness, drop me below their radar. Keep me safe.......
And of course it's at moment the wind rips open one of the shutters. Cold air, dirt and leaves dust devil dance around the room. They're here!
I sit stock still as the gusts snake my hair and bed covers into tangles. Watching the phantasms swirl and eddy about the room, I see a face here, an arm there, body parts contorted in agony, damned to ride this nightmare every seventh month. Then I see her; Mother. Tears still flowing, gashed stomach gushing blood from where Jien ended her life and give me mine. The woman who bore me stands behind her, shackles about her neck, the end of the chain in my Mother's hand. Was this her punishment for birthing an abomination? Was her wrong so great that she had to face this level of Hell for dying and escaping the disgrace of her taboo bastard son?
Maybe it is time for me to go. My fault, my fault, my grievous sin.
Slowly I get up. I see Mother has another neck shackle ready for me. How nice, now she can have a matched set of damned souls. I bow low; hair falling to either side of my face leaving the back of my neck exposed to her gaze and desires. "Mother, take me away, I will accept whatever you have......."
"Get back into bed you Asshole," I feel a hand grip my shoulder and tumble me back on to the mattress. "Good God Almighty!" A very irritated voice sent both me and the ghosts a shaken in our skivvies. "I'm cold, they're dead hence I rate and they can eat shit."
"Sanzo?!" Flat on my back, I stare dumbfounded up at my lover. Sanzo was standing over me, banishing gun in one hand and with the other, unreeling his scripture. Any other time, a great view, right now..just a little scary.
"If these dumb dead jerk offs," now his voice got really loud and really nasty. DON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW," his purple eyes glittered stonily cold in the glow created as the scriptures came to life. "ME AND MY SCRIPTURE WILL RIP THEIR FUCKING FACES OFF! " He began the chant to awaken.
My Sanzo. Ain't he a caution? Standing there buck ass naked except for the Maten Scripture writhing about his shoulders. Did I especially mention the naked part? Love that part. A naked Sanzo makes you believe in God, Buddha.place name of Higher Power in this space kinda thing. It's a Kodak moment.
Mom and the rest of the spooks kinda hesitated for a moment. You know that," he's only a mortal man and can't stop us" bullshit. Well, that is right up until Sanzo started the release portion of the chant. Then you could see that, "okay, look at the time, it's getting late, sunrise is in an hour and I think I left something on burning on the stove," kinda panicked look.
"MEJIO....."
And with that they were gone. Leaves, dirt and dust all swirling out the window after them with the shutter slamming shut with the last of the E-Ah-Me.
And with the nonchalant air of some one who'd just woken up to use the can, Sanzo tossed the banishing gun back on the night stand. With casual reverence he took off the scripture, it had obediently rolled it's deadly little self back up into its innocent looking scrolled up self, and then he dropped himself back into bed. "I'm still cold," he said huffily. "Warm me up."
Sliding down between the covers, I spooned against Sanzos back. He was frosty, in more ways then one. "What did you think you were doing?" He hissed as my arms came around his chest, pulling him into a tender embrace. "Just how stupid can you be?"
"I...I just wanted to stop Mother from crying." Lame, lame, lame, even to my ears. But it was the truth.
"Moron," Sanzo said. "Do you really think the subjugation of your soul would have stopped her pain? Or eased her agony? The E-Ah-Me never stop suffering or bringing suffering, it is their part in Karma. One joins them of their own free will, it's their Hell or Heaven until they can rejoin the wheel of life and are reborn."
"Oh," I replied in a tiny voice. "It's just that......"
"Skip the 'justs', the 'buts' and every other excuse you got," Sanzo flipped over and pulled my face close to his. "Because there are no excuses good enough to get you out of this mission. If I gotta be here, you gotta be here. Got it?!"
I nodded. "Okay," he said. "Now that settled, warm me up."
About an hour later, we dozed in that lovely and might I add very warm haze of sexual bliss. "So, the Buddha does answer prayers even ones from wayward kappas like me. " I said muzzily into Sanzo's neck. "Just don't kill him if we ever do run into him, ok?"
"Dumb ass." Harsh words from a man whose hand stroked my cheek with such tenderness, that it only could be done in the darkness where no one could see, not even him.
*Found in Portuguese folklore, and being that Macao had been a Portuguese protectorate spirits and their kind have a way of following their kinsman where ever they go, hence the Angry Mothers would be found in China. The same way the banshee, duppies and goat suckers have all been seen far from their native lands.