September 9th - Am delighted to receive, at breakfast, invitation to Speak at prestigious Potions Conference in Paris, All Expenses Paid, Spouses Welcome. Am less delighted, however, that Invitation is dropped in porridge by exotically-plumed owl, no doubt French variety.
Morning passes uneventfully after this, although am inclined to despair at quality of work produced by N.E.W.T. class, who by this time should surely be able to compose written work without dotting I's with circles or, worse, hearts.
Mrs Perzil returns Laundry at lunch-time, and I am required to Speak to her, as dear Hermione claims to be Too Busy. She is less than pleased when I enquire as to whereabouts of 13 missing black socks, becomes definitely Cross when I complain that Underpants are Not White Enough, and leaves in something of a Huff.
Dear Hermione then suggests that I am becoming somewhat Obsessed with state of Underpants, and claims that there wouldn't be a problem if I would only wear Black Silk Boxers.
Respond with well-worn argument - Hermione having made this suggestion many times before - that Boxers are Too Dangly, at which she Sniggers, and makes extremely coarse remark.
Attempt, successfully, to distract her from further discussion of Underwear, by mentioning projected Paris trip. She is, unsurprisingly, extremely Keen, and makes reference to Most Romantic City in the World. We will have to Fly, she adds.
Absolutely Not, I reply, dear Hermione's skills on a broomstick leaving rather a lot to be desired.
No, No! she cries, she means By Plane. And we can stay in a Muggle Hotel. It will, she claims, be Fun.
Am somewhat appalled at what constitutes her idea of fun, but can see little point in arguing, and spend remainder of lunch-time composing reply to Organiser of Conference, to the effect that Self and Spouse are Glad to Accept; Hermione, meanwhile, undertakes to make all necessary Muggle arrangements. Am much relieved to hear this, as have previous experience of attempting to deal with non-Magical affairs. (Memo: Must remember that a Credit Card is a very different thing from a Birthday Card.)
Spend most of evening planning contents of Speech; this proves so distracting that it is very late indeed before I retire.