Love and Loss

by mrshawk

Ezra finds love

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from the Mag 7. Only Gwen is a figment of my imagination. No copyright infringement is intended.

TIMEFRAME: After the series ended.

CATEGORY: O/W

Authors Note: This is my first attempt at Mag7 fiction. I have written for other shows but have a special weakness for this particular show and especially Ezra Standish that handsome devil.

FEEDBACK: Just be gentle.

SUMMARY: Ezra finds love and …well that would be spoiling it.

LOVE AND LOSS

            The two travelers in the dusty stagecoach shifted uncomfortably as the coach jostled them down the trail leading to Four Corners.

            "Are you alright ma'am?" asked Orin Travis.

            The slight, blonde woman looked at him with the bluest eyes the Judge had ever seen. "Yes sir. Thank you." She shifted in her seat. "I'm just a little nervous.

            "What about?" Judge Travis thought if he could engage the young woman in conversation it might calm her nerves.

            "I'm coming out west to start over. My husband recently passed away. I have a friend who lives in Four Corners and she suggested I come and stay there," the woman replied in a shaky voice.

"I'm sorry to hear about your husband," the judge said, leaning over to pat the young lady's gloved hand. "Four Corners is a nice little town. I'm going there myself."

"My friend Mary says the same thing. I was a little nervous about moving out west. You hear such wild stories about the towns out here. But I have no family and Mary was my closest friend."

            "Your friend wouldn't happen to be Mary Travis would she?"

            "Why yes," the woman was surprised. "Do you know her?"

            "She's my daughter-in-law. My name is Orin Travis. Mary is well respected in town. Did she tell you about the seven men who protect the town?"

            "A little. She wrote about Chris, who she calls a troubled soul. There's Vin, the poor man with a price on his head. Then there was JD, the young boy who tries hard to impress. Also Buck the ladies man. She warned me all about him." She paused trying to remember the rest of the names. "Oh yes, Nathan the healer and Josiah the man who sometimes acts as preacher. There was another…I can't think of his name."

            Travis smiled. "That would be Ezra. He's the gambler and bit of a con man. But he's become a little more respectable since he's been one of the seven."

"Yes he has the mother who is a cardsharp," the lady laughed a little.

"Maude is her name and she's is quite a character." The judge put out his hand. "I haven't had the pleasure of your name."

"How rude of me. I am Gwendolyn Shapiro. But you may call me Gwen."

"I'm sure you'll be very happy in our little town."

Meanwhile the seven men who had been discussed in the stage were gathered in front of the jail watching the citizens of Four Corners go about their business.

"Slow day gentlemen," remarked Ezra in his slow southern drawl.

"Yeah," Chris replied. He was a man of few words.

The men sat in silence until the stage came rumbling down the street.

"Wonder who's coming in today?" Buck roused himself from the chair he had been occupying and started toward the stage. The others followed in a line beside the notorious ladies man.

The coachman reigned in the horses and the stage jolted to a stop. The door opened and Judge Travis stepped down into the street.

"Hello boys," he greeted before turning back to the door to assist his fellow passenger. "Boys this is Mrs. Gwendolyn Shapiro." He helped her down and then introduced the famous seven lawmen. Each of them tipped his hat and bid her welcome to town. Buck and Ezra were both struck immediately by how beautiful she was. They took her slim five foot seven frame and her blonde hair, swept up in a knot at the nape of her slender neck. They stared into her deep blue eyes framed by thick black lashes.

The Judge continued, "Mrs. Shapiro is a widow and a friend of Mary's from back east. She's come here to start a new life."

At that moment Mary came running out of the newspaper office, She stepped up and embraced her father-in-law then her friend. "Gwen I'm so glad you've come at last." She smiled her warm smile then turned back to the Judge. "We weren't expecting you."

"Well I thought I had earned a little time off and decided to come for a visit," he replied. He looked at the seven men still standing there. "Everything been okay?"

Vin spoke up first, "No troubles lately Judge."

"Excellent," the Judge replied.

"Let's get you settled at the hotel Gwen," Mary said leading her friend away.

Ezra, Buck and JD reached for Gwen's luggage while the others went off to patrol the town or talk to Judge Travis. JD had no interest in the new arrival but he could see his two friends had taken notice of her and he wanted to see who would be victorious. Buck usually came out ahead with the ladies but Ezra could be very charming when he wanted something or someone. So JD knew this would be very entertaining.

Days later Gwen seemed to be settling in to her new town. She had set up a millinery shop a few doors down from the newspaper office. Mary seemed pleased to have her friend in town. Buck and Ezra, as if they sensed she needed time to adjust, had not approached her right away. Each was biding his time. Buck was sure she'd be drawn to his animal magnetism. Ezra on the other hand was completely struck by her. This was a woman worth waiting for. He knew just how to introduce himself to this fine lady.

About a month after Gwen's arrival in Four Corners, Ezra walked into her shop, under the pretense of buying a gift for his mother. He stood inspecting a pretty green hat with a plume of bright yellow feathers.

"Good morning sir," Gwen greeted him.

"Good day pretty lady," Ezra smiled at her, flashing his dimples and a glint of gold.

"You're one of the seven lawmen aren't you?" she asked.

"Ezra P Standish at your service milady," he leaned over her hand and gently kissed it. "But lawmen is a bit of a stretch. We are merely peace keepers in this small domicile."

Gwen smiled at the roughish southerner. She had noticed him as soon as she had stepped off the stage. He was different from the others in demeanor and attire. She appreciated the red waistcoat and beautiful silk vest with the gold pocket watch. She thought him very handsome, but when she looked into his green eyes she felt her knees go weak. She hadn't felt that way since meeting her husband at a cotillion four years earlier.

"Well Mr. Standish, how may I help you today?" she said.

"First of all you can call me Ezra," he smiled again. "All my friends do. I must insist that such a lovely creature as yourself consider herself my close friend."

Gwen blushed. "Thank you…Ezra."

The two stared at each other for a moment. There was a definite spark between them. Gwen coughed and spoke first. "Were you looking for anything specific?"

You thought Ezra to himself. "Well Mrs. Shapiro, as a matter of fact I was looking for a gift for my dear mother."

"Please call me Gwen," the lady smiled. "I have some fine ladies bonnets over here." She led him to a display of cunning little hats. Ezra studied them as he drew Miss Gwen into talking about herself. He learned her husband's name had been John and they'd been married two years before he had gotten pneumonia and died a few months ago. She was all of twenty-two years old. They talked quietly over the bonnets until Buck came in the front door. He scowled at the sight of Ezra standing so close to Gwen.

"Mornin' Miss Gwen," he greeted. "Ezra you buyin' yourself a new bonnet?"

"You are most humorous Mr. Wilmington," Ezra was clearly annoyed at the interruption. "It so happens it is almost my sainted mother's birthday. Luckily Miss Gwen is very knowledgeable in matters of millinery."

Buck snorted. "Maude sainted? Ezra Maude is about as sainted as…"

"Language, Mr. Wilmington," Ezra warned. "There is a lady present."

Buck tipped his hat to Gwen. "'Scuse me ma'am," he said.

"It's quite alright," Gwen replied.

JD, who had been watching through the window, was trying not to laugh. "Round one to Ezra," he thought to himself and moved on towards the saloon.

Back in the store Gwen asked Buck, "Can I help you Mr. Wilmington?"

"I'd sure be pleased if you called me Buck," he smiled at her. "I just ran into Mrs. Travis and she said to tell you she was running late and would meet you at the hotel for dinner in half an hour."

"Thank you Buck, for bringing the message."

"Yes thank you Buck," Ezra put in trying to recapture Gwen's attention. "Miss Gwen I am headed to the hotel myself and I would be most honored to escort you and keep you company until Mrs. Travis arrives. But first I do want to pay you for the bonnet for my precious mother."

Buck snorted again. He couldn't believe Ezra had asked to escort Gwen to the hotel. Buck had volunteered to deliver the message with the intent of asking her himself.

"Thank you Ezra. I would like that," Gwen smiled as she boxed up the hat.

Buck realized he'd lost this battle. "Well I guess I'll be seeing you Miss Gwen."

"Bye Buck," Gwen responded, still busy with the hat box. Ezra gave him a knowing smile. Buck cast him a glare in return then left the shop and headed toward the saloon to join his friends.

Chris, Vin, JD and Josiah were sharing a table. Nathan had ridden off to visit his girlfriend Rain at the reservation.

"So what happened to your animal magnetism Buck?" JD teased.

"Shut up JD," Buck retorted.

"Looks like it rubbed off onto Ezra," Josiah said.

"You got a big mouth kid," Buck looked at JD. "Couldn't wait to tell everyone huh?"

"Well Buck, it isn't often a woman is immune to your charms," Chris chimed in.

"Hah hah," Buck was sullen. "He's only walking her to the hotel."

The other men all ribbed Buck for weeks after it became clear that Ezra had indeed won Miss Gwen's heart. The two were a regular site in the small town. Often they went riding together in the afternoon. When it was Ezra's turn on town patrol he usually took up post in front of the millinery store. They had supper together almost every night. Ezra had fallen hard for Gwen and it appeared that she returned his feelings.

There was to be a dance held in Four Corners and Ezra was looking forward to it very much. It meant an excuse to hold Gwen close to him all night. They had become a definite couple in the three short months she had been in town. Even Buck had grudgingly acknowledged the fact that Ezra was the man Gwen wanted and had gone back to his pursuit of Inez, the barkeeper again.

The night of the dance came and Ezra arrived to escort Gwen to the dance site. They were a handsome couple. Mary had been concerned at first. She tried to warn Gwen about Ezra but Gwen just shrugged and told Mary, "You don't understand. He's told me all about his past and his schemes. But Mary I believe he's changed. I see a whole different man."

Mary realized her friend was falling in love with the charming southern man. And he really had seemed more respectable lately. There had been no plots for quick cash. Ezra had hardly even played poker with the others since he had been courting Gwen.

The music began and Ezra swept Gwen into his strong arms and held her as tightly as he dared. They danced perfectly together.

The others chuckled at the sight of the lovesick gambler.

"Don't reckon I've ever seen Ezra fall for a woman like that," Vin commented.

"Don't reckon any woman's been as kind to old Ez as Miss Gwen," Josiah returned.

"Well at least we know he ain't after her money," inserted JD.

"True enough," Chris put in. "So it must be love."

Meanwhile Ezra was thoroughly enjoying the feel of Gwen in his arms. He knew she was the woman for him. He was prepared to settle down with her and had procured a small diamond ring. During a break in the dancing he led her to a semi-private bench and took her delicate hands between his two strong ones.

"Miss Gwen I believe you are the finest woman I have ever known."

"Oh Ezra," she sighed. "Thank you for saying that. I think you are the most charming man I've known since my John."

"Miss Gwen I have come to care about you a great deal. And would honored if you would become my wife."

Gwen was speechless as Ezra presented her with the small diamond ring he had pulled from his pocket. "Well my love?" he prompted.

"Yes my darling!" Gwen grabbed him and hugged him. He slipped the ring on her finger then took her face in his hands and brought her lips to his. The kiss was very gentle yet there was no doubt in either of their minds they belonged to each other.

The music and dancing resumed and the happy couple was lost in each other. When the evening was almost over, Ezra went to where the small band was playing and called for everyone's attention.

The other six men eyed Ezra then shot curious glances at each other.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that the lovely lady with whom I have been spending every waking moment has consented to become my bride. Gwen you have made me the happiest man on the planet." Ezra was beaming ear to ear.

His six companions almost choked. They knew he was sweet on Gwen, but marriage? It was beyond comprehension. The townspeople were equally shocked. Ezra was known for his skills at the tables but not for being a ladies man. He just didn't seem the type to marry; it would be a hindrance to his cons. But the two of them clearly looked like they were indeed serious about each other.

Nathan was the first to recover and approached the beaming couple. "Congratulations Ezra, Miss Gwen."

The other men followed suit, each slapping Ezra on the back and kissing Gwen's hand. Mary embraced her friend, "I hope you know what you're doing."

Gwen just smiled happily. Mary then turned to Ezra, "Congratulations, Ezra. Take good care of her."

"You can rest assured that my lovely betrothed shall be the happiest and most contented lady in the world," Ezra pulled Gwen closer to his side. "Mrs. Travis, I promise she will never have cause to shed a tear or wrinkle her brow in worry as long as I draw breath."

Mary seemed placated by his words and moved off. The dance broke up shortly after. Ezra escorted Gwen home and after a lengthy good night kiss he adjourned to his regular table in the saloon. He was quickly joined by his six companions.

"Gentlemen," he drawled. "The first round is on me." He summoned Inez, who brought a fine bottle of brandy she had been saving for a special occasion.

The seven men drank a toast to the impending nuptials. Then Vin spoke up. "Are you serious about this Ezra?"

"Why of course," Ezra seemed shocked at the statement. "Why would you doubt my sincerity?"

"Well you ain't exactly the biggest supporter of marriage," Nate said.

"Are you sure you're not running some scam Ez?" Buck wanted to know.

"Gentlemen I am deeply offended and hurt by the lack of trust in my character," Ezra drank a long pull. "I love Gwen and she's made me see what kind of a man I can be."

Chris eyed the southern man, "You better be on the up and up Standish or you'll answer to me."

"Heaven forbid a man can change his ways. I thought I had proven myself to you all," he got up to leave. "I can assure you that I am not running a scam. I am simply tired of being alone and unloved. Is it so wrong for me to yearn for the things you have already had Mr. Larabee?" With that Ezra walked away from the table and out of the saloon.

"I guess maybe we were a little quick to offer judgment," Josiah said.

"Yeah. I guess Ezra has a side we don't know about," put in JD.

"Well its up to us to support old Ez and we just blew it," Nate remarked. He had been thinking of proposing to Rain lately. "Maybe he's got the right idea."

"Being alone is a terrible thing," Buck said. "The love of a woman is enough to change a man."

Chris had been quiet during this exchange. He was thinking of his Sara.

"Reckon we better apologize before he gets into a snit," Vin stood to lead the six men out the door.

"Reckon you're right Vin, " Chris followed.

Ezra was standing in front of the jail just watching the street. He saw the six men coming in his direction. "Come to hurl more accusations at my character?"

"No, Ez. We've come to apologize," JD stated.

"We were just shocked by the announcement is all," Buck offered.

"After all you've only known Miss Gwen for a couple months," Vin said.

"And you ain't exactly been saying you want to get hitched," JD put in.

"I guess I didn't know I wanted to myself until I met her," Ezra admitted. "But when you meet the one you just know it."

"He's right," Chris said. "That's how I felt about Sara."

The others looked at the man in black. He hardly ever talked about the family he had lost. "You have our support Ezra."

"Thank you gentlemen," Ezra smiled at his friends.

Several weeks later, plans were under way for the wedding. The couple had decided on a simple ceremony. Gwen had asked Mary to stand with her. Ezra chose Chris. It was his way of thanking the gunfighter for his second chance and for all the times Chris had stood by him. Judge Travis was coming in to perform the ceremony and whole town was buzzing.

About a week before the big day Ezra escorted Gwen to the millenary and helped her unlock the door. He kissed her before she went inside. "I hate to leave you my love but I have patrol this morning on the outskirts of town with Mr. Tanner."

"I'll be fine," Gwen responded. "I have to go to the bank later anyway." Ezra was very protective of her, which she found endearing. They kissed again. It was as if they couldn't get enough of each other. Then Ezra rode off with Vin to patrol the town's perimeter.

The two rode in comfortable silence until Vin saw a group of three men ride towards the town. "Ezra you see that?"

"What do you make of it?" Ezra questioned.

"Just a hunch but I don't like the looks of them," Vin responded. "Maybe we better ride a little closer."

Ezra nodded, spurring Chaucer toward the town. When they arrived on the main street the two men heard gunshots.

"The bank!" Vin stated. The two jumped from their horses and ran to the bank building. The other five were close on their heels having heard the shots from various positions in town.

The three gunmen burst through the door, guns blazing.

"Hold it right there boys," Chris shouted. The gunmen froze for a moment the turned and shot in Chris's general direction. Chris fired his gun and one of the men dropped dead on the street. The other two men, who happened to be the dead man's brothers, aimed their weapons at Chris but before they could fire, they were taken out by bullets from Ezra, Vin and Josiah.

When the dust settled there was a scream from inside the bank. The seven men crashed into the bank and were horrified to see the bodies of a traveler and Miss Gwen lying on the ground, both bleeding profusely.

"Oh God," Ezra went pale as he fell to his knees beside his intended. "Gwen?"

"Ezra," she whispered. "Is it over?"

"Yes my love," he replied, cradling her in his arms while her blood stained his crisp, white shirt. "Those hooligans have gone to face their judgment."

Nathan bent beside Ezra, "We need to take her to the clinic so I can see to her."

Ezra nodded and lifted Gwen to carry her to Nate's clinic. Chris was taking statements but the others followed as well as Mary, who had come running after hearing the fight in the street.

When they reached the healer's clinic Ezra gently laid Gwen down. She was very pale and having trouble breathing. "I love you Gwen," Ezra told her.

"Love…you…Ezra," she managed to get out before loosing consciousness.

Nate shooed them all out of the room. "I can't help her if you get in my way." Mary offered to act as nurse and the door was shut.

Chris came walking up. "The other man is dead. Apparently he tried to stop the robbery and was shot for his trouble. Gwen came in as the man hit the floor and screamed. One of the robbers shot her to keep her from running."

"Ez, I'm so sorry," JD said.

'Why are you sorry Mr. Dunne?"

"Cause it was my patrol in town this morning," the young man replied. "I was in the general store looking for a gift for Casey. I never saw them coming."

"You couldn't have known," Vin patted the kid on the shoulder.

"I should have been outside. I'm the sheriff for pity's sake. It's just that it's been so quiet around here lately I took it for granted," JD was a sensitive soul and it bothered him greatly to think this was all his fault.

"JD no one blames you," Ezra said.

"That's right," Vin put in.

"Hey pard you can't be everywhere at once," Buck remarked.

"But it was my patrol. I should have been outside patrolling instead of…"

"JD, please drop it," Chris warned him, glancing at Ezra, who as staring at the door of the clinic.

The conversation dropped as they waited for word on Gwen. A little while later Nate opened the door and stepped out. Ezra knew by the look in the healer's eyes before he even said a word. "I'm sorry Ezra. She lost too much blood. I did everything I could."

The gambler broke from the group. He felt like he was suffocating. He headed to the livery, where someone had thoughtfully brought Chaucer during all the excitement. He mounted the faithful animal and stirred up dust as rode out of town trying to outrun the pain in his heart.

"Shouldn't we go after him?" JD asked.

Chris put a retraining hand on his shoulder, "Better let him be for a while kid. He's just had a huge loss. He needs some time for it to sink in."

"But…"

"He'll be alright JD," Chris said." Give him time, he'll be back."

Chris was right. Ezra had tried to outrun his broken heart, but the only thing he managed to do was tire Chaucer. He decided to try a different tack.

The boys found him several hours later in the saloon. He was sitting with an almost empty bottle of whiskey. Inez saw them coming.

"I am so glad you are here senors. That is the second bottle he has drunk. I am worried about him," she said.

"Thanks Inez. We'll take it from here," Chris replied. "Are you going to drink that whole bottle yourself?" he asked the forlorn man.

"That was indeed my plan, Mr. Larabee," slurred Ezra. "And I was hoping to do so in solitude."

"Too bad pard," Buck sat down and reached for the bottle. "We're your friends and we want to help."

"Well perhaps you turn back the clock and deter my intended from entering the bank yesterday," Ezra answered trying to take back the whiskey bottle.

"Ezra I of all people understand your pain," Chris said. "But this isn't going to help. Trust me."

"Hell it can't hurt either," Ezra replied taking a slug from the bottle. "It drowns out the pain and the sounds of gunfire."

"Ez, I've been where you are now," Chris stated. "When Sara and Adam died I wanted to go with them. But trust me, diving into a whiskey bottle won't take away the pain. The pain never goes away but time will dull it."

Ezra downed the rest of the whiskey, "Thank you for that assessment, Mr. Larabee." He motioned to Inez. "Another bottle senorita."

Josiah waved her away then spoke, "She wouldn't want you to do this, Ezra."

"Pray tell how would you know what Miss Gwen would or would not have wanted Josiah?" Ezra shot back, surly now because the preacher had waved away his whiskey bottle.

"It may surprise you know Brother Ezra that she came to see me after you proposed."

"Whatever for?"

"Some of the townspeople had come to her to try and talk her out of marrying you," Josiah said. "But she loved you enough to see past your reputation. She saw you as a reformed sinner. She didn't want the gossip to hurt you."

"I was never really worthy of her," Ezra sighed miserably.

"That's not true," Nate spoke up.

"Yes it is. I'm a good for nothing cheater with dreams of greatness that I'll never achieve. You all would have been better off without me and so would Gwen," Ezra stumbled from his seat. "Goodbye gentlemen." He swayed at the bottom of the stairs before collapsing. The other six immediately jumped to their feet and went to his aid. Chris and Buck each took an arm and carried him to his room over the saloon. They put him on his bed, removed his boots and left him for the night.

"He was talking crazy," JD said. "Maybe one of us should stay with him. You know make sure he's okay."

"The kid's right," Vin agreed. "I ain't never seen him like that. He might just try something stupid when he wakes up."

"I'll stay with him," Nathan volunteered.

It was agreed he would send for the others if necessary. Nate let himself into Ezra's room and settled himself in the chair for the night.

The sun was glaring through the windows when Ezra started to come around the next morning. "Am I dead? I certainly feel like death," he thought to himself.

His head was throbbing and his mouth tasted like a cotton gin. His eyes were heavy as he tried to open them. When he finally pried them open he was greeted by the sight of the black man asleep in his chair. "Nathan?"

"How you feelin' this mornin'?" Nate stretched.

"Like hell thank you," the surly gambler replied. "Why exactly are you sleeping in a chair in my room?"

"Well you were pretty upset last night and frankly we were worried you might try something dumb today," Nate said.

"I can assure you that I am not going to run away."

"That wasn't our concern."

It took a minute for Ezra to realize what Nate was talking about. "Mr. Jackson, do I seem the type of person to take my own life?"

"Well you were pretty drunk last night and you got to talking crazy; like how we'd all be better off without you and such," Nate replied. "Nobody could really blame you though after the loss you suffered."

"My loss," Ezra sighed. "Yes I was momentarily able to block it out with the whiskey."

"Miz Travis set the funeral for two o'clock this afternoon," Nate said.

"The funeral," Ezra responded. "Mary certainly isn't wasting any time."

Nathan glanced at the broken hearted man. He hated to mention the reason for the haste in burying Miss Gwen. "Well it's been two days and the weather is mighty warm lately Ezra."

Ezra grimaced. "Thank you for reminding me Nathan."

"Well I'll be going now," Nate headed for the door.

"Mr. Jackson," Ezra called. "For what it's worth, thank you."

"For what?"

"Your concern for my life," Ezra replied. "Given our past disagreements I would not have thought you would take on the responsibility for my welfare."

Nate shook his head. Ezra always used about twenty words too many. "No matter our disagreements Ezra, no man deserves to go through this kind of pain alone," the black man smiled. "Besides what would we do without you? Sometimes we need a good man who can bluff his way out of anything."

Ezra smiled weakly, "Thank you for that, Nathan."

Nate smiled back, "I'll see you at two." Then he left.

Ezra slumped back on his bed. At two o'clock he would bury the only woman he had ever loved. His heart was shattered but he roused himself off the bed. He needed to clean up before the funeral.

At quarter of two, Ezra emerged from his room. The other six men were gathered at their table waiting for him.

"Gentlemen are you ready?" Ezra asked.

They nodded and rose as one. Chris put a hand on the gambler's shoulder "We're here for you Ezra."

"I know," Ezra said simply.

The seven men walked solemnly toward the small cemetery.

Ezra grimaced when he saw Mary Travis standing at the entrance. He knew she'd be here but he didn't know if he could face her. The words he had spoken the night he proposed to Gwen rang in his ears. "Mrs. Travis, I promise she will never have cause to shed a tear or wrinkle her brow in worry as long as I draw breath." He had assured her that he would take care of Gwen and he had failed miserably. Ezra faltered, "I can't do this."

Chris put his arm around the saddened man's shoulders. "I've been here before Ezra. I understand."
            "No you don't. I can't face Mary," Ezra replied.

"What does Mary have to do with it?" Chris asked.

"I promised her I'd protect Gwen. They were best friends. I let her down," Ezra was miserable.

"This isn't your fault, Ez," the black clad gunslinger could see the pain in his friend's eyes.

"But…"

"No buts. Gwen was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a terrible tragedy, but it's not your fault."

Mary came over at that moment. "Hello gentlemen,"

The seven nodded in greeting. "Ezra how are you?" she asked caringly.

"I'm so sorry Mary," he cried and turned away from her.

Mary was confused and she looked at Chris with a question in her face.

"He blames himself. Thinks he let you down because he promised to protect Gwen," Chris said simply.

Mary's pretty features softened even more as she looked at the broken man. She touched his shoulder, "Ezra. This isn't your fault."

Ezra turned back to face her. "I wasn't there to save her."

"No you were protecting the town she had grown to love," Mary said.

"And what an exemplary job I did," Ezra replied with a snort. "Two people dead because I didn't see those miscreants in time to stop them."

At that Vin spoke up. "Ez you weren't exactly riding alone that day remember?"

"Clearly Mr. Tanner. But at least you spotted them."

"Everyone let us begin," came the call from Josiah, acting as preacher.

The service was short and simple. As they lowered Gwen's coffin into the ground Ezra choked back a sob. Mary glanced at him then quietly took his hand in hers. Ezra looked at her and offered a weak, teary smile. "She doesn't blame me. She's really too good a person," he thought to himself. Then another thought crossed his mind. "If Larabee doesn't snatch up this fine lady then he is lacking in brains."

When Josiah was finished speaking Ezra and Mary both threw a rose into ground on top of the coffin. The undertaker began to shovel the dirt back into the ground as the mourners dispersed. Ezra stayed until the last shovelful was placed. The undertaker left and Ezra was alone in the cemetery.

"I'm sorry my love," he cried. "I wish it had been me instead." He stood for a few more minutes to say goodbye, then headed back toward the town. At the entrance of the cemetery, standing quietly together were the six men he had, in spite of himself, grown so fond of. He knew they had waited to make sure he was okay. Other than Gwen these six men were the only people who had ever given a damn about him. Even Maude had been too busy running a con to come for what should have been Ezra's wedding day. These men were his family now. He smiled at them, knowing that with their support he would indeed be okay.

"Okay there pard?" Buck asked.

"Yes Mr. Wilmington. I believe I am," Ezra replied and headed back to town surrounded by his friends.