A/N: betaed by Demon again! :) thanks!
Thank you for chapter 9 reviews:
Lor: LOL… well… I thought that was the only way to capture everything he was feeling. Sorry if it offended you.
Brynne: The spy Vaughn had to catch really doesn't matter all that much. The reason why he has to leave is actually (supposed to be) revealed in the epilogue (I still haven't written it! Oops). Hehe… it seems like subs always know the best words ::whistles::
valley-girl2: lol… yup… don't assume too much ;) hehe… funniest one-liner for a chapter in a long while? Awesome :) that makes me feel special! ::starts to realize I'm talking to someone older than I am… uh oh… ;) :: hehe… exams… sigh… I really should start studying for those… next week! Grr… the school system just had to go and ruin my birthday :( oh well… not like I actually study for those…
Thank you for chapter 10 reviews:
Brynne: ::mouth drops open in shock:: you like S/S? whoa… never would have guessed! Hehe… I admit, I'm not very fond of that pairing (hence why I write SVR), but… I have many friends that do. Haha. The wonders of the world. I feel honoured that you're reading my story! Considering how pro S/V it is and all… thank you!
valley-girl2: aww I hope your day wasn't too bad. I'm glad it makes up for your day though! Hehe… babies of their own… (connect back to the miscarriage). I won't tell you've been reading. Good luck on all your tests!
Chapter 11
August 06, 2005
Los Angeles, California
Hospital
2:49 PM
She was staring at the ceiling like she had done so many months before on the night of his death. Her father had just visited her for the third consecutive day of her hospital stay. His disapproving frown was evident in her blurry sight. She knew that he thought her cowardly, depressed, and crazy. They had ended their screaming match only an hour earlier. He was trying to put her in the right place, trying to make her see that Vaughn would have never wanted her to kill herself. Trying to keep his only daughter alive. So he had pulled out his trump card.
"You can't do this to yourself," Jack yelled, getting desperate.
"I don't want to be here anymore," she whispered back.
"Think about this in a different situation. If you were dead, would you want Vaughn to kill himself?"
I had taken her a long time to answer knowing that the answer would be used as a weapon against her in this debate. It was an answer that she and her father already knew the answer to. She knew deep inside that she would rather die one hundred times over than know that she was the cause of Vaughn's death.
Her murmured defeat was all Jack needed to hear.
His next words were of work. In that stone cold voice, he said, "We need to cover this up. No one will let you work knowing that you are suicidal. Especially the CIA. We need to give Kendall his reason within the hour of why you are in the hospital. The hospital staff will obviously be debriefed so that the CIA will have an accurate description of what happened to you. I have already been to your house and cleared away all the evidence."
Her mind drifted. She didn't want to listen to this. She wanted to be a home. A warm body spooned around her figure, preferably Vaughn's. She wanted the love, warmth, and comfort that she once had. Not this shell of a life she owned now.
She felt so lonely, so tired. She didn't want the life she had. She didn't necessarily want to move on though; she didn't think she was brave enough to do that yet. The concept of moving on without Vaughn was scary, like another world yet to be explored. She wasn't ready and she knew it.
In the back of her mind, she sensed two more people behind her. People that weren't there when her father left.
"Hey Syd," chirped the happier one.
"Agent Bristow," said the other.
Figures, she thought. Weiss and Kendall.
She ignored them, content to be trapped within her own thoughts. She pretended like they weren't there. Kendall was doing all that was possible to get her attention. Weiss was just watching her, knowing that there was more going on than the story that Jack told him.
Eventually, she couldn't pretend anymore.
"What do you want?" she said in a harsh voice.
"Agent Bristow, I'd advise you to be more polite to yo—"
"Shut up, Kendall, I don't want to hear your BS."
One of Weiss' eyebrows rose and it looked like his face just went slack, his mouth hanging open slightly.
"Fine, Agent Bristow. I expect you to behave yourself when I get back from the restroom."
"I hope that stick you have in your ass comes out, too," she muttered so softly that only Weiss heard.
Weiss waited until Kendall closed the door behind him before he let his laughter burst through.
"Syd. I can't believe you said that!" He went to her for a hug, which she gladly returned.
"Yeah, well, if I didn't say it, you would have."
"You know Syd, you remind me of something Mike did."
Her eyes became moist at the mention of Vaughn's name, but carefully hid it from Weiss by lying back on the pillow and closing her eyes.
"I even called him 'balls of steel' for it too," he said, winking at her.
"Yeah, Vaughn told me about it," she replied, a hint of a smile on her face.
There was a beat of silence between the two.
"So what happened, Sydney?"
The room became less airy and bright. It became gloomy. It felt like the colors somehow magically dulled.
"I think you know Weiss. In fact, I know you know."
"Syd, you can't do that to yourself!"
"Well, I don't want to be here!"
"You can't keep torturing yourself. You have to accept the fact that you need to move on!"
"I don't want to move on!"
"Sy—"
Kendall had walked into the room. Sydney's mood was angry and sullen again.
"Agent Bristow. Do you want to finally talk now?"
"Go to hell Kendall."
Turning to Weiss, Kendall asked, "Agent Weiss, did she tell you anything?"
Shooting Syd a look that clearly said, 'I'm sorry,' Weiss said, "Yes, she did."
"Well then, what did she say?"
"Just like Jack said. There was evidence that some of the food she ate had been tampered with. It was a poisoning attempt, Assistant Director Kendall."
"Sloane?"
"From what the labs have come back with, it does seem like Sloane is the main suspect so far."
Sydney couldn't believe what she was hearing. Weiss was lying under an oath he gave to the CIA when he was first recruited. He was jeopardizing his job to save her ass. She felt a surge of guilt flow through her body.
"There is one part I don't understand then. Who was the person that gave Bristow the Ipecac we found at her house," Kendall asked quizzically.
Not being able to answer the question for Sydney, Weiss turned towards her.
"I just have a guardian angel," she replied, smiling. It was her first smile since her suicide attempt just three days ago.
Kendall just rolled his eyes and left the room. Weiss however knew what she was talking about, having heard the conversation between Vaughn and Sydney all those years ago when she was going to meet Anna.
"Syd," he turned to make sure that the door was closed and that Kendall was out of the room. "It couldn't have been him. He's dead. Jesus Syd!," he said exacerbated. "For how long have you thought he was still alive Syd? You even saw his body. He's dead. For more than a year, he's been dead. You need to accept that."
"Don't worry Weiss, I know he's dead. He's an angel now."
Weiss sighed. "Okay Syd. We'll talk later, okay? I need to get to a meeting."
Sydney extended her arms and gave Weiss a hug. "You take care okay Syd?"
"Okay."
"One more thing. This was on your door before I came in. I got it before Kendall had a chance to see it."
He handed over a plain envelope. On the front of the envelope, Sydney's name was written in a handwriting she knew. Vaughn's. She carefully opened it and unfolded a letter.
24 1-4 2-6 3-3 4-4 5-1 6-4 7-2 8-4 9-7 10-2 11-8 12-2 13-3 14-2 15-6 16-4 17-4 18-3 19-6 20-2 21-4 22-2 23-6 24-6
d s m a i w b b t a m d n b a m s t w i o j t v e y o n i e a o t i o o e f a u h i s p e ' a a d n g l c n d t r k r e n e a u r n e l k i n a e e d n i g e g i i o m h y h g d w e n t h t
"What the hell?"
~tbc~
A/N2: ::ponders whether or not to make people figure out the code before I post the next chapter:: I know… I'm evil like that…
Hehe… or… I can post the chapter after… 5 reviews? ::whistle:: ::wonders what has gotten into me lately:: :P