Duo vs. Heero
Hello everyone! Guess who's back with another tale of Internet debauchery? Yeah that's right. Except this time it's slightly different. This time that atomic cocksucker Heero had the goddamn gall enough to IM me and fill my computer screen with inflated head bullshit about how a bunch of anime obsessed fucktards write more fan fictions about him than about me! Well excuse me Mr. John Q. Pricksalot! That's not exactly something I can control. I can't help that a bunch of disillusioned shitwads write more about him than me. I asked Quatre who was the better of us, and he said Heero, because, and I quote "You are a vile, foulmouthed sex pervert." Sex pervert? Where the fuck does he get off saying that. Sure, I like to molest hookers on a daily basis, but that doesn't make me bad does it?
Quatre's snide comment left me with little recourse. After converting that blond boy-toy's face into hamburger meat with a crowbar, I went to my computer screen to write this. I swear, if I hear one more person say Heero is "kawaii" I will personally rip out their spine with a corkscrew!
Heero: hey duo!
Duo: What the fuck do you want?
Heero: oh just writing to tell you that I got some major pussy tonight
Duo: Your mother doesn't count, fucknugget.
Heero: No, dipshit, from my legions of female fans! I can have any girl I want.
Duo: Oh I get it, the whole fan fiction thing.
Heero: Yeah. People just seem to like writing about me more than you. It must have a lot to do with that dumbass faggot ponytail you wear.
Duo: Alright prickstick, you somehow have the gall to call me a faggot, yet wear a pair of the stupidest fucking biker shorts I have rather seem. I mean, they practically scream "violate me please!" to all the do-rag wearing Big Sals out there esay.
Heero: Poor Duo, you're just jealous of all the action I'm getting.
Duo: I'm about to get some action in a minute, when I come over there, gouge out your eyes with a spoon, and proceed to skull fuck you you sack of fetid dildos.
Heero: I'd like to see you try that, shitfuck. I'd pound you into chalk.
Duo: we'll see about that you raving lizardfuck omelet eater.
Heero: HAHA… Fag
Duo: Hey Heero, you like hot girls don't you?
Heero: Yeah, the kind you'll never get…ROFL Faggot.
Duo: well, take a look at this one: www.goatse.cx
Heero: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT YOU FUCKING SHITTARD???
Duo: Just a picture of what happened to that last piece of man meat of yours…after you were done of course.
Heero: THAT'S IT MOTHERFUCKER I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP
Duo: I really don't see the fascination with other men when it comes to fucking me. Seriously Heero, if you can get that many women surely you don't need me.
Heero: FUCK U FAGOT
Duo: A homophobe now are we? That must mean you are homosexual after all! I bet your just jerking off too much. You know, Dr. Kellogg recommended circumcision without anesthetic to cure someone of that.
Heero: YOUR DEAD SHITMEAT
Duo: Dead is so extreme isn't it Heero? I mean, an aunt of mine just died. Sad really.
Duo: Heero?
Duo: Heero?????
Duo: Hello, welcome to ICQ!