Duo vs. Lord of the Rings

Hello, shitdicks! You're buddy Duo's back again for another shot at society's personified Ills!

You know, there's nothing I hate more than movies that appeal to fat, zit faced fucktard teenage boys who raise their chubby arms in joy whenever one of the newest installments in any of the "faggot trilogies" come out. After seeing these movies these shitwipes retreat to their geek nests and talk about how "cool" those films are, when in reality they are the shittiest pieces of shit I've ever laid eyes on. "The Matrix", "Star Wars", "Lord of the Rings", all of them! Watching these films is about as fun as squirting a lemon-lime enema straight up your asshole, or about as thrilling as being gangbanged by 5 other guys in prison who all have been endowed with 12 inch cocks.

In fact, I want to go to the opening of "Return of the King" just to throw popcorn at the screen and continually moon the audience while screaming "I'M GANDALF THE GREY! HEY LADIES! WANT TO SEE MY MAGIC STAFF???"

It doesn't really matter how hard I try, because these greasy hogfucks will go onto online message boards with names like "Neo1234" and "fr0d0 B4gg1N5". That's enough to make baby Jesus fucking Christ cry! Here is my encounter with one such shitleaf.

Oh yeah, and if you like "Lord of the Rings" too fucking bad! If you don't like what I write go put your dick in a food processor. You probably wouldn't realize the greatness of "Manos: Hand of Fate" anyway…a REAL movie.

Duo: Hello, Welcome to ICQ!

L3g0laS: who r u?

Duo: Who am I? Who the fuck are you?

L3g0laS: I'm dave.

Duo: Dave? I think your lying! You're name says L3g0laS!

L3g0laS: That's my screen name.

Duo: Well no shit.

L3g0laS: Who r u?

Duo: Me? I'm the Marlboro man.

L3g0laS: Oh yea?

Duo: Yeah.

L3g0laS: I just got back from seeing return on the king

Duo: Oh yeah…wasn't that that movie where Hitler, Stalin and Hussein takes turns anally raping George Bush?

L3g0laS: what the fuck no. it's lord of the rings

Duo: I don't know about you buddy, but I don't know any "lord of the rings" I'm lord of MY rings!

L3g0laS: u know, that movie with the hobbits and all that? And Gandalf?

Duo: oh yea…I'm making my own version of "lord of the rings"

L3g0laS: whatever. No your not.

Duo: Yes, I am… It's an erotic version of Lord of the Rings!

L3g0laS: what the fuck is that?

Duo: Well, you know, I thought I'd start off with making Frodo Gandalf's bitch. I thought opening the movie with Frodo polishing Gandalf's knob is you catch my drift.

L3g0laS: wtf that's sick!!!!

Duo: Sick? No it's not! After that I thought that Frodo, Legolas, and Aragorn could have a nice homoerotic threesome where they rotate positions for "pitcher" and "catcher" if you know what I mean.

L3g0laS: what the fuck you're a sick fuck u fag!

Duo: More like genius! The reason Frodo and Sam are so close is because Frodo likes a little bit of the Sado Maso if you know what I mean.

L3g0laS: fuck u

Duo: What, don't you like to get tied up and spanked? I know I do!

L3g0laS: ur a sick piece of shit

Duo: No, I eat shit.

L3g0laS: fuck u fag

Duo: Wanna give me a blowjob? I pay well!

L3g0laS: FUCK U I'M LEAVING SICK FAG!!!!!!!!

Duo: Hello, welcome to ICQ!