Tamahome and His Predicament By Li Mai

Tamahome was pacing back and forth. He looked confused. Nuriko walked up to him. "What's wrong Tama-Baby?" he asked. Tamahome kept walking.
"I am having a predicament..." he said. Nuriko watched as he paced back and forth - back and forth - back and forth.
"Okay, about what?" Nuriko asked.
"Well, about Miaka and me." He kept pacing.
"Why?" Nuriko asked.
"I don't know..." he said. *Pace, pace*
"Hmm, I can't help if you don't know," Nuriko said, putting his hands on his hips.
"Did you call me Tama-Baby?!" Tamahome shouted, stopping.
"A long time ago, yes...are you okay?" Nuriko slapped him on the shoulder and Tamahome went flying into the wall. "Opps..." *walks away*
Tamahome walked into another part of the palace. He began pacing. *Pace, pace* Then Tasuki saw him.
"WTF are you doing?" he asked. *Pace, pace* "Hello...I'm talkin' to ya!" *Pace, pace* "Fine! I don't care what's wrong with ya! I don't give a *beep*!" Tasuki stormed off. Tamahome kept pacing. Then Hotohori walked up to him.
"I'm not even going to ask. I already know this has to do with you and Miaka," he said calmly.
"How did you know that?" Tamahome asked.
"Li Mai let me read the story so far." Hotohori smiled. "Li Mai is nice!" Tamahome kept pacing. Apparently he didn't think the same thing.
"I don't even know why I'm in a predicament! All I know is suddenly I was in a predicament and it's all because of Li Mai! I want to kill her! Miaka and I are fine!" Grrr...
Suddenly an anvil landed on Tamahome's head. Suddenly a girl with blue hair in a suit appeared in front of them. "Don't talk bad about the author!" Li Mai shouted. Tamahome got up, throwing the plastic anvil on the floor. Tasuki ran in again.
"What the *beep* was that?!" he yelled. "And why am I *beep* bleeped out?!"
"Because I said so!" yelled Li Mai.
"We hate you!" Tamahome yelled.
"I don't," said Hotohori. "She let me kiss Miaka in her Chichiri story." Li Mai smiled. Nuriko ran in.
"I hated that story! I hate you Li Mai! Of course you did make me a woman in Tasu-rella...I love you Li Mai!" he yelled. Chichiri walked in.
"No da!" he yelled. They stood in silence for a few minutes.
"What was the point of that statement?" Tamahome asked.
"Comic-relief!" Li Mai said happily. They all fell over, except for Hotohori.
"Good idea," he said.
"WTF?! Why are you on her side?!" Tasuki yelled.
"Because she gave me a cookie." *points to cookie in his hand* Li Mai smiled.
"This is confusing, no da!" yelled Chichiri.
Miaka appeared. "I want a cookie!"
"Here, Miaka, have a cookie." Li Mai handed her a cookie and Miaka ran away smiling. Tamahome ran after Miaka. Mitsukake appeared.
"..." he said. They stood in silence again.
"More comic-relief," said Li Mai.
"Good idea!" said Hotohori, holding up two cookies. Chiriko entered.
"What is the point of this story? There is no plot, no storyline, no real action..." he said.
"Have a cookie!" Li Mai shouted, handing him a cookie.
"Oh, thanks!" Chiriko yelled. "This story is great!" Chiriko walked away.
"...Can I have a cookie...?" Mitsukake asked.
"Sure!" said Li Mai. She gave him a cookie and he walked out.
"No da?" Chichiri said randomly. Li Mai gave him a cookie and he left. Then she gave Nuriko a special gift.
"I'm out of cookies," she said, "So you can have Hotohori!"
"What?!" Hotohori screamed.
"Hooray!" yelled Nuriko. "I'm so happy!" Nuriko picked him up and ran off, leaving Li Mai and Tasuki alone.
"No!" he said angrily. "You aint doing nothing to me!" Li Mai smiled. Tasuki blacked out. When Tasuki woke up he was in some weird box thing. Something hit the box and he jumped out the lid. Everyone started laughing at him. "What's going on?!" he shouted.
"It's Li Mai's birthday.look at yourself and then look at what you jumped out of!" Nuriko said, smiling. Tasuki was wearing a playboy bunny outfit and turned around to see a giant birthday cake.
"WTF?!" he screamed.
"Happy birthday Li Mai!" everyone yelled. Li Mai smiled.
"It's December the 18th and I'm happy." *smile* "Happy holidays everyone...I give you the gift of reading this meaningless fan fiction! Yay!" And they all lived happily ever after, except for Tasuki when he realized that Li Mai had taken pictures.