This is the edited version. Prowling-Wolf: thanks so much for pointing out that little error in the last chapter. Aunt Helen isn't important- she's just the lady Alastriana was staying with while she lived in America. The nine kids were Alastriana's six siblings, Alastriana, Casidhe, and Ciorstaidh.

Also: this story takes place seventeen years before the prologue. Just… yeah, it's a little weird that way.


And, no, Casidhe, Ciorstaidh, and Alastriana are NOT breaking the law by brewing that potion during the summer. They're legally adults (though not mentally).

Sanity and Insanity

By- The Pepper Imps

"… and just the tiniest bit of goat liver and set it to a boil," seventeen-year-old Alastriana Dubhcana recited, half asleep, raking her hands through her hair, making it stand on end (which was pretty hard considering that it was in about forty waist-length braids). It was late at night, they weren't used to staying up until four and being in school in July, and they'd had a hard time picking the locks to the Institute doors. Luckily Alastriana's two friends knew some Muggle tricks.

"Can I help?" Casidhe asked eagerly, rubbing her hands together. "It's warm over there and fucking freezing in here."

"No!" Alastriana shuddered.

"Just as well. I just painted my nails a few minutes ago. Black, see?"

Casidhe Hartnett and her twin Ciorstaidh were probably the worst potion brewers at the Salem Institute. Hell, they were probably the worst potions students in the world. Together, they'd blown up more cauldrons than even they were proud to admit. Alastriana had a knack for potions- at least when she felt like it. "My aim is to create early menopause in a bottle. I want this to be painless. You hear me? Painless. You help me and we'll be scraping my mother's uterus off the walls."

"Haha!" Casidhe laughed. "You said uterus!"

"Are you going to take the rug rats with you after you graduate?" said Ciorstaidh.

"My mother shouldn't be allowed to own a dog, much less take care of children."

"Well said, Alastri!" said Casidhe.

"Die."

"So, you're taking the little doggie too?" Ciorstaidh said. She was sitting in the corner of the classroom, knees folded up to her chest, the hood of her black sweatshirt taming, for the moment, her unruly brown hair.

"We have three dogs- and none of them qualify as 'little'. Once upon a time, when my family was actually respected by our neighbors, we raised sheep. Now all we have left are three hulking collies."

"No Scotties?" Casidhe teased, faking a brogue frighteningly well.

Alastriana was a native of Scotland but her family was so poor that a distant American relative, her aunt Helen, had taken Alastriana in and she had attended American schools since she was about ten years old. She still had a rather strong accent and was almost incoherent when angry (she also sometimes reverted back to the Scottish Gaelic spoken by her family to call her teachers very rude names).

"Have you heard from Alastor?" Ciorstaidh asked.

"Who?"

"Your brother, Lass. Remember him? Alastor Dubhcana?" Casidhe reminded. "Your mother was exceedingly cruel giving you two such similar names."

"My mother wasn't the one who named me. It was Alastor. He named me and he was seven. I spoke to him on the phone last night. He… wants me to go and stay with him for a while."

"Where are you going to stay with six kids?" Ciorstaidh asked, bewildered. Six kids was a hell of a lot, and even though they were Alastor's kin, none of them were sure that Alastor would consider taking in nine children… three of whom had a slight tendency to set things on fire. Those three were also not exactly children, but at seventeen considered themselves adults.

"Aunt Helen also suggested that we all say with her for a while. I think it'd be too crowded. Since I have to go back to Scotland, maybe I'll get an apartment near there so that Mum can actually use her visitation rights. But while I'm doing that the six wee ones'll go to Helen, and I'll go see me old brother back home."

"Alastriana, you have a heart of gold," Ciorstaidh rolled her eyes; "the woman should die slowly, cut in a thousand pieces."

"You're aware that I will be receiving payment for keeping the kids. Of course, it won't be too much, but my mother will have to send me some money. I can't support everyone on an apprenticeship."

"You're going to become a Potions Mistress?" Ciorstaidh asked. "That's just too damn weird. Even for you. Man… I'll be friends with a teacher…" She lapsed into silence, her mind wandering between the horrors and advantages she would have if Alastriana really became a professor.

"Well, I don't just want to get married and become a Dubhcana baby-breeding machine. Who knows," Alastriana teased, "someday I might meet a tall, dark, and handsome Potion Master."

"Right," Casidhe snorted, "with your luck, he'll probably also be depressed and brooding."

"And brilliant," Alastriana said dreamily as the potion produced a particularly large bubble of air in front of her, which popped and brought her back to the task at hand.

"And," Ciorstaidh added, "he'll have a huge-"

Alastriana cringed, "do I want to hear this?"

"- nose," Ciorstaidh added at the last moment.


"You're really serious about this, aren't you? You really think you'll meet someone in England?" Casidhe asked suddenly.

"Look, Cas, Cior… I know I'm weird. I'll never not be," said Alastriana. Casidhe snorted. "I know I'm not pretty and my last 'boyfriend' was in Special Ed… and I was twelve years old then. I'm seventeen and he's still in the same grade. There's no one in my life… but there is someone out there just like me who will treat me like I'm beautiful and special and like I'm the most important person in the world. There is no one right now… but there is the promise of someone."


"I feel like I've stepped into a Harlequin romance," said Ciorstaidh, disgusted. "Or one of those Muggle movies you worship."

"I love Harlequin romances! You really believe this, don't you?" Casidhe laughed.

"Yes, I have to believe it. I have to. There's someone out there just like me and I'm gonna find him." Alastriana went back to her potion.

Ciorstaidh waited a minute before saying, "Two things- one, Lass, do you think there might be someone out there for me too? I mean, I've heard that English guys are so damn hot… and they do that weird thing where they climb on buildings for sport. I'd love to try that."

"We'd better hope so. The world wouldn't stand a chance."

" Two… has anyone seen my Coke can?"

Alastriana's potion produced another large bubble of air. The three girls turned to it and frowned. Then, with a mighty bang, the cauldron burst apart. The potion flew into their faces. Alastriana threw her hands in front of her face, Ciorstaidh pulled her knees up to her face, and Casidhe hit the deck.

"My hair!" moaned Casidhe, lifting her hands to the burned remains. She pointed at her sister. "I look like you!"

"My menopause potion!" shouted Alastriana. "Ciorstaidh- how many times do I have to tell you? NO BEVERAGES! NOW YOU'VE GONE AND BUSTED THE SCHOOL!"

"Awesome!" said Casidhe.

"How do you know it was me?" Ciorstaidh said, turning away from the fair-sized hole that she had blasted into the wall.

Alastriana pulled the remnants of the aluminum can out of the rubble. "This, perhaps? I don't remember this being one of the ingredients I needed. Ugh… we are so going to be expelled."

"No shit," Casidhe grinned. "Who's up for a trip to England?"

"You mean- 'who wants to run away to England', don't you?" Alastriana grumbled. "We might as well leave- we're going to have to anyway. My brother thinks he might be getting a position at some school there. Maybe he can help us."

Ciorstaidh stood and pointed to the hole in the wall. "Look, you guys… we can climb straight out of this 'un. Not like the one in our basement, hey, Cas?" The twins grinned at each other. Alastriana shook her head.

"I hope the guys in England are hot…" said Casidhe as they climbed out the window