Sanity and Insanity

By- The Ice Mice


          "Right. So we're going to England," Alastriana said wearily. "How? Where? You'd better have answers, 'cause the cops'll be coming any minute now thanks to you two wankers."
          Casidhe looked at the bleak stone wall of the Institute for inspiration and support. Ciorstaidh tore her gaze from what she had begun to think of as "her hole" and took off her hood, allowing her hair to flow free and wild.
          "Floo?" she suggested, and without waiting for an answer withdrew a silver lighter from her back jeans pocket and lit a small pile of wreckage and leaves on fire.
          "NO!" Alastriana yelled, her arms flailing wildly above her head. "Haven't we caused enough damage already? And we are not Apparating. Not after what I read about that poor bloke who Splinched himself last week. They said that however hard they tried, it'd never work to capacity again."
          Casidhe carefully assessed the crackling pile before saying, "No."
          Alastriana sighed and ran her hands through her braids. "Fine. Fine! But what use," she continued evenly, "is a fire if we haven't any Floo powder?"
          In response, Ciorstaidh drew a small paper bag, the kind Muggle children carry their lunches to school in, out of the deep recesses of her sweatshirt. She opened the bag, sniffed it, and drew out a handful of… something. Ciorstaidh upended her palm over the fire.
          Nothing happened. The green sparks that usually accompanied Floo powder did not appear.
          "Oh yeah," Ciorstaidh said slowly, staring at the normal orange flames. "Hasta be in a fireplace, doesn't it?"
          Casidhe looked at the flames and then back at her twin. "Where'd you get that?"
          "Nicked it."
          "From where?"
          Ciorstaidh grinned, and then turned to Alastriana. "Now what?"
          "Gee, I don't really know. How about we light a fire in one of the school fireplaces?" Alastriana crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at Ciorstaidh, who remained unperturbed.
          "That's a good idea," she said slowly, and picking up a branch, she climbed in through her hole back into the dungeon from whence they had come.
          The fireplace remained clear of wreckage, although an ornament on the mantel hung rather crooked. Ciorstaidh placed the wood on the kindling, and watched as it flared into life. Alastriana looked at it as well, and then cursed and hurried back outside to douse the earlier fire with a bit of water from her wand.
          "Hey, Lass," Ciorstaidh called back. "Where's this brother of yours live?"
          Alastriana straightened and climbed back in. "Wapping. 123 Haverton Street, Wapping, London," she answered. "But he'd hardly like us dropping in on him. Last I heard, his girlfriend, Chris, was living with him."
          Ciorstaidh flicked some powder into the grate, and stepped into the emerald flames.
          "123 Haverton Street, Wapping!" she cried out, her head tilted back to avoid ash and soot. With a woosh, she was gone.
          Casidhe and Alastriana looked at each other, until Alastriana said, "You go first. I'll make sure that there aren't any… problems."
          Casidhe nodded. "What was the address again?"
          Alastriana repeated it, and within a moment Casidhe had passed over miles of countryside and ocean. Then Alastriana herself stepped into the flames, and blew a kiss at the blank stone wall.
~*~
          She landed behind Ciorstaidh, who was standing, hood up, hands in pockets. Ciorstaidh stood in the front doorway of a small, cramped room. Her eyes darted out of the windows and down the streets. Alastriana rose from her crouch and evaluated the place. The carpet was bright orange, the furniture, mahogany. A staircase stood on the left, hugging a side wall. The room was cluttered with end tables and knickknacks and mementos. It was a mismatched, homey, and comfortable room.
          Casidhe was sitting next to her sister's feet, knocking dust and ash from her boots. Alastriana stepped out of the fireplace and promptly sneezed.
          "Hello?"
          The three girls froze at the sound of the voice. Ciorstaidh's eyes darted to the front door, through which the sounds of Wapping, London floated in. It tempted her, tempted her even more than some kleptomaniac urge passing over her in a dollar store.
          "Hello?"

          "Shit. That's not my brother. Definitely a guy, though," Alastriana cringed. "This is bad."
          Footsteps pounded in a matched rhythm down the staircase, and at the foot of the steps suddenly stood a man in a long florid dressing gown tied hastily about the waist. His eyes settled on Ciorstaidh, standing near the door with a hunted expression upon her face, to Casidhe, who alternated glancing wildly about the room and checking on her nail polish, to Alastriana. Then his gaze drifted to a point somewhere between them all on a space above their heads.
          Casidhe dared to turn. On the wall was a large portrait of Alastriana, the object of the man's gaze. Alastriana was playfully slapping a tall man who looked to be in his mid-twenties. Dark brown hair flopped into his eyes.
          Hot, Casidhe thought, and turned her eyes once more on the blonde man in the flowery bathrobe. He was looking fixedly at Alastriana.
          "You're…" he said, still shocked at finding someone- three someones- in his house, and pointed to the portrait.
          "I'm Alastriana and I've got two questions for you. Where's my brother and who the bloody hell are you?"
          The man relaxed visibly as Alastriana uttered the word "brother." "Oh, I'm Chris," he said cheerfully. "You Americans shake hands upon greeting one another, do you not?"
          Alastriana had no intention of shaking hands.
          "You're… Chris?" she said slowly.
          "Yes." Chris looked at Alastriana strangely.
          "Hiya, Chris!" Casidhe said exuberantly, sensing tension between the two. "Where's the piss pot? I really need to go."
          "I thought that Chris was my brother's girlfriend!" Alastriana said angrily. "Alastor said that he and Chris were madly, passionately in love." A confused expression crossed Chris's face and then cleared.
          "Oh. Right," he said. "Oh, dear."
          "Short for Christina!" Alastriana cried out unnecessarily. "Female."
          "Alastriana?"
          She whirled at the sound of the voice and began to march deliberately towards the man in the portrait, who now stood in flesh and blood at the bottom of the stairs. He was fully dressed.
          "Alastor!" Alastriana yelped. Ciorstaidh stepped forwards tentatively and placed a hand on her shoulder.
          "You-are-gay?" Alastriana clipped out her words. "You-are-gay-and-you-didn't-tell-me?" The last two words came out in a whispered shriek.
          "Alastriana-!"
          "Don't speak!"
          "But-!"
          "Hush!" She held out a hand, nails painted scarlet, in front of her brother's face. "I talk now. My turn. I think you owe that to me." Although she attempted to remain calm, she was shaking… and then everything went dark.

          "I think she's fainted," Casidhe commented lazily.

          "No, really?" Alastor sighed. "Well… that was fun. Chris… you just might want to get some clothes on… I'll get my little sister… situated. You two… whoever you are… just make yourselves at home. Then you can tell me what the hell you're doing in my house." Alastor easily lifted Alastriana over his shoulder and started walking toward a guest room. "This will be a long night. I hope Chris can handle those other two girls. They look like they'd like to set something on fire."

~*~

          Alastriana woke up, fully aware of where she was, why she was there, and exactly what she wanted to do. It was rather sad that she'd left all of her ritual tools back in Salem. She crossed to the center of the guest bedroom Alastor had put her in, noticing the two double beds. I am not sleeping with Ciorstaidh. No way.

          Slowly, Alastriana raised her arms into the air and said rather shakily, "I call upon the four directions and the four elements… I call upon Hecate, goddess of… SHIT!!!"

          "You really haven't been keeping up with your studies, have you?" Alastor stood in the doorway, looking amused. "You'd better take that back, or you're going to have to deal with a rather pissed off deity."

          "If your flat wasn't such a fucking PIT, then I wouldn't have tripped over… what looks horribly like one of my racy romance novels from home. Have you been reading my books behind my back? Ewww!"

          "Hey, I don't comment on what you keep on you." Alastor studied Alastriana like she was a bomb about to go off again. He was right.

          "That's 'cause I don't have sex with other women," she responded peevishly, rubbing her big toe and studying the back of the novel. "For the Defense, yep- this is one of mine. Thief."

          "I'd pay for tickets."

          "You are many kinds of creepy."

          "I'm kidding, Lass."

          "I'm not."

          "Alastriana…" there was a note of warning in his voice as he helped his sister up off the ground.

          "Why didn't you tell me? Huh? Did you think I was too goddamn young?"

          "No… I…"

          "Did you think I wouldn't… accept you? Couldn't handle it?"

          "Alastriana- I haven't told anyone. Not even Mum-"
          "MUM DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK! I hate to tell you this, Alastor, but our mum doesn't give a damn what happens to the two of us… or any of the other kids either. MUM DOESN'T CARE IF YOU'RE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO GOATS. I CARE!" Alastriana took a deep breath, "It's always been US. Mum planned it that way… Alastor… you named me because Mum couldn't be bothered. You've always taken care of me. I told you everything… and you hid this huge part of your life from me for… what, five years? Since I moved out?"

          "Lassie-"

          "I don't know if I can forgive that. So, you're gay, woo-freaking-hoo. I think I could like Chris. That's all well and good. I have a gay brother. It's sort of cool. It's you hiding it from me that bugs me. Am I not mature enough to understand?"

          "I… I'm sorry, Lass. I… was scared. Er… even though this wasn't really the way I imagined letting you know that I… what do your friends…"

          "I don't know what they think about you being gay. I think they're kind of in shock. Alastor, we blew up a school. I don't know what they think about homosexuals. It just never came up."

           "They didn't approve of my project, if that's any indication. The menopause one. The one I wrote you about. But I think they understand… or at least now they do. I showed them the photographs of… our house."

          "How'd it go? The potion, I mean. Before it blew up. I don't even want to think about what they thought of our very humble abode."

          "I'm here, aren't I? I was nearly done when… yeah… it was perfect but then someone got in the way."

          "Can you make another one?"

          "Certainly. It'll take a while, hell, the baby may be born by then and we can give it to her right away."

          "Do you want me to take…"

          "No. I've got them. I'm good, Alastor. You've done your share."

          "Even the baby? You were always terrified of babies."

          "I'm good," Alastriana smiled somewhat sadly. Alastor had given up a lot for her. A normal childhood, friends… "You want to help me pick out names?"

          "Names?"

          "I plan to name the kid. Maybe Maire if it's a girl?"

          "I like that," Alastor smiled at his sister. "Are you all right? Up to going and talking with your friends?"

          "I think so."

          A sound from the other room made both of them jump. Ciorstaidh's voice. "Holy SHIT! It's ALIVE!"

          "We'd better get out there," Alastor looked stricken and started toward the door.

          "Alastor?"

          "What, Lass?"

          "I'm sorry I… reacted like I did."       

          "I couldn't have expected you to react any other way. Seriously, Lass. It's no problem. I still love you, sis."

          "I love you too."

Disclaimer- Aww, how melodramatic am I? All of the characters in this chapter are property of The Pepper Imps. Eventually this will change. They just need to get to Hogwarts. Er… I'm not quite sure where Wapping actually is.