Christmas…..BAH HUMBUG! I don't know why everyone gets all excited about Christmas. It's just another day so why does everyone fuss over it? It's a day that is mostly for the children and since I'm not an adult and do not have any children, what is the reason for celebrating it. I am just going to go to bed, wake up, watch some sports and then fall asleep again.
After a long day roaming the streets, keeping order in a chaotic city, I'm asleep before my head even hits my pillow. I start dreaming about Cruz in a bunny suit and "accidentally" hopping of a bridge to her untimely death, when a noise from outside my room disrupts my sleep.
SSSSSSUUUUUUULLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY
"GO AWAY TY!! IT'S 1 A.M. IN THE MORNING!!!" I shout to the door.
I close my eyes again and just as I'm drifting off to sleep I hear it again. SSSSUUUUUUULLLLLLYYYYYY!! With my eyes closed, I reach for my gun, but I can't find it. After I search a little bit more, I open my eyes, and then practically fall out of my bed. I was staring at a ghost.
"Who are you??" I ask, with a hint of disbelief.
"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past, Sully." The ghost said.
"Yeah…right….and I'm Cupid." I said, getting back into my bed. "Nice try Ty."
"I've come to show you how Christmas used to be like for you!" The Ghost of Christmas Past said, and with that, we were sitting in a snow bank, me wearing nothing but my underwear, looking into my old house.
"You couldn't wait until I got my clothes on at least???" I asked, shivering.
"Look at you" The Ghost of Christmas Past said, ignoring me, "Remember this day? The day you got your very first toy train?? Remember how you felt when you were playing with it for months straight?" The Ghost of Christmas Past said.
"Yeah. I loved that thing. I played with it until it broke. I made the tracks go all over the house, and my mom constantly yelled at me because it got in her way." I said, gazing into the window.
And with that, I was back in my nice warm bed.
"Maybe I'm hallucinating." I said to myself and turned over and went back to sleep.
*****
"SSSSSUUUUULLLLLYYYYYY!" I heard a voice call.
"I think you took the wrong turn, because I've already saw you, Mr. Ghost of Christmas Past." I said sleepily.
"I'm not the Ghost of Christmas Past. I'm his brother-in-law, the Ghost of Christmas Present." The ghost said.
"Oh boy." Was all I could say before I was whisked off to the precinct, still in my underwear, where the staff all had a holiday party. I didn't go on account of how much I despise Christmas.
"See how much fun they are having?" The Ghost of Christmas Present said. "You didn't go because you have no Christmas spirit. Your co-workers missed you. And that present, that's under the tree…that is yours, from your Secret Santa. There's your friend Ty, sitting there, all alone, wishing you were there."
"I guess I should have gone. I didn't think there was any point in going, but now I wished I had gone." I said, peering into the window.
And with that I was back in bed.
*************************
"SSSSSSSUUUUUULLLLLLLLLYYYYYYY!!"
I opened my eyes and looked at the clock. It was 3 a.m. in the morning. "Let me guess you're the Ghost of Christmas Future." I said, not amused.
"How'd you know??" The Ghost of Christmas Future said.
"Lucky guess." I said. "Let me get my clothes before you plunk me in another snow bank. I don't feel like dying of hypothermia tonight."
I pulled some pants on and grabbed a sweater, and next thing I knew, I was looking into my apartment.
"Why couldn't we just stay in there?" I asked.
"It looses its effect in my opinion. People tend to pay attention more if they are cold. What do you see?" The Ghost of Christmas Future asked.
"I see me, sitting by the fireplace, all alone. Like tonight. I look old! Is that GREY hair???!!!!" I asked worriedly.
"Hey what do you expect?! It's 2020, your not going to be young forever! Why do you suppose your alone?" The Ghost of Christmas Future asked.
"Because I am! Can I go back to bed now?" I asked.
"Your alone because no one wants you around. Maybe the Grinch does. I'll ask him when his appointment comes tonight. I'll get back to you on that one. Because you do not show any Christmas spirit, no one has invited you over for dinner, no one has bought you presents and that, my friend, is why your alone." The Ghost of Christmas Future said.
And with that I was back in my bed.
"O.K. That was too weird. Hopefully I won't get visited by the Ghost of Easter past tonight." I thought as I fell back asleep.