The door closed and Ryan rubbed his hands nervously, glancing around the large, open space as Sandy and Kirsten Cohen disappeared, headed back for the big house. He could probably fit his entire house in here, in this little pool house they were going to host him in. His house. His old house. He stared down at the ground. He didn't want to think about it.
"You could, you know, put your bag down or something," Seth suggested. He had already set up temporary camp in a barstool at the bar, and was flipping through a comic book casually. As if he owned the place. Which he did.
"Bag. Down.
Right," Ryan said. He obediently
dropped the bag from the drugstore onto the bed. "So. This is your place,
huh?"
Seth glanced up, nodded, and
returned to his comic.
"Kinda... big," Ryan observed.
"Oh, didn't
I tell you? This, this is just the summer home. Wait'll you see the big house."
"Funny." Ryan stopped. "You are kidding, right?"
"Yeah." Seth shrugged as Ryan stared at him for a moment, then grinned. He collapsed against the wall and took a deep breath. He wanted to be alone right now, but being with Seth was an okay second choice. If there had to be a second choice.
"Thanks,"
Ryan grunted. "For – you know."
"Hey, man, what are friends
for?"
"Friends don't have to pull
stunts like that," Ryan said, fixing him with a stare.
"But maybe they feel like they have to," Seth shot back.
Ryan shook his head and straightened up. "Whatever. Here we are, huh?"
"Don't
worry too much about my mom," Seth offered.
"She'll come around when she gets to know you."
Ryan heaved a sign. "Hope so."
"She will," Seth said with
authority. He tossed the comic book
onto the bar with authority. It skipped
across and stopped just on the verge of falling down. "Dude. You are so
set here."
"Maybe," Ryan shrugged. He paused.
"Mr. Cohen – your – uh, Sandy says he wants to find my mom."
"Do you have any idea where
she went?" Seth asked quietly.
Ryan sat
down, looking wet and bedraggled and unusually small amidst the sofa
cushions. "Her boyfriend threw me
out. Well, she did, he..." Ryan squinted. "Helped," he finished.
"That's-" Seth started, but
there was no need.
"So if we don't find them, I don't care," Ryan said fiercely.
Seth stood up and stretched in the long silence that followed. He made his way over to the bed and flopped back onto it with a bounce. "Back there. In San Diego. You told me you wanted them to be normal. Is that gonna happen?"
Ryan stared out at the pool. He shook his head.
"So in the
meantime... is this okay?"
"This is great," Ryan
admitted. "I mean, I thought you guys
were loaded. But damn."
"How funny is it, anyway? That I'd stop and pick you up and that it would
turn out my dad was your lawyer. That
kind of stuff only happens on, like, bad soap operas, right?"
"I don't really watch soap
operas."
"Oh, god, neither do I. Neither does my mom. Officially.
Off the record, though? Don't
disturb her between 8 and 9 on weeknights, it's when she watches her tape."
Ryan issued a small snort at
that. "But yeah. I guess I maybe got lucky for once."
"Luck? Or fate?
What do you think about fate?"
"I think I have had way too
long a day to think about fate."
"No, really," Seth said,
curling his legs up into a sitting position on the bed. "I can't shake the feeling that this was
meant to be."
Ryan was silent, and Seth let
him stay that way for a few long moments.
He was starting to learn that it was okay not to fill every silence with
Ryan. Sometimes Ryan just needed a few
seconds to get his words together. And
then there was the payoff. Like
now. "I almost called your dad," he
admitted. "A long, long time ago."
"Why didn't you?"
"I couldn't make up my mind."
"Were you scared?" Seth asked.
Ryan drew in a breath. "Okay,
don't answer that."
"No, it's fair. Maybe I was scared. Maybe I still am, but... at least I've got a
real bed for tonight, you know?"
"And you're supposed to. Just like you're supposed to be here."
"Feel free to tell your
parents that."
"I have."
"Your mom doesn't want me
here."
"You don't know that." Seth glanced down at his lap. "You know, Ryan, if it was meant to be,
she'll come around. That's how these
things happen."
"And until then?"
"Until then," Seth said, "take a little time and enjoy life. It's not so bad here. I mean – not as bad as I make it out to be."
"Huh," Ryan grunted. He knew there was more to say, he knew there was more he wanted to say, but the words weren't there. He was too tired now to put his thoughts together. Fate. Destiny. Chance. Luck. Not things that had been on his side before. But maybe this was the kind of thing that was supposed to happen after you hit rock bottom. Maybe he was finally getting something other than what he deserved.
And maybe, just maybe, he could take a little time and enjoy life.
For a little while.
*
"I apologize for every gene he got from me, is that enough?" Sandy asked, raising his eyes over the New Yorker he was flipping through. "I apologize for the hair, the chin, the anti-social behavior, and the bleeding heart liberal ideology, too. Oh, and if those eyebrows ever come in? I apologize. Profusely."
Kirsten
sighed as she moved into the den. "That's not it this time." She collapsed on the couch beside him. "But thanks."
"What is it?"
She shook her head. "You'll laugh at me."
"Honey, I am way too exhausted
right now to laugh at anything."
She snuggled up beside him,
and he dropped the magazine to his lap, wrapping an arm around her. "I had a dream," she said, muffled slightly
in his shoulder.
"You what now?"
"See, I knew you'd laugh."
"Not laughing! Do I look like I'm laughing?"
"You're smirking." She placed a hand on his chest and pushed up
so that she was facing him. "Cut it
out."
"Cutting. Dream.
Tell me all about it."
She relaxed back into the
sofa, leaning against him for support.
"I never fall asleep so early in the evening, but I was waiting for you
and Seth to come home with the boy, I was watching HBO in the bedroom, and I...
I guess I must have fallen asleep. On
top of the comforter." She
blinked. "When do I ever fall asleep on
top of the covers? But... this time, I
did. And I dreamed – I dreamed about
our family."
"Okay," Sandy said, with a
perplexed nod.
Her eyes
glazed over somewhat as she stared at the dark entertainment center across from
them. "I dreamed about you, and me, and
Seth. And another son. I dreamed we'd had another son, all those
years ago, and we'd all gotten old together.
Seth was so happy, I've never seen him so happy as he was in the
dream. We were all out by the pool, you
were grilling food, and Seth was smiling, and he and our other son were
splashing in our pool, and you and I were so happy, and it just felt... it just
felt right." She paused. "Did you ever think what would have happened
if we'd had another child?"
"I think you would have had a
coronary. You had a hard enough time being pregnant with Seth, honey. I know you've conveniently forgotten, but
I've got videotapes if you want to bring back old memories."
"Yuck. No."
She turned to him. "Sandy. I didn't want you to bring this kid home."
"I know."
"But..." She sighed and reached up for a piece of
hair, which she began to twist. "When I
saw him, I..." Her voice trailed off.
"What?" he prodded. He turned to regard her quizzically. "What is it?"
"I just had a strange feeling
is all."
"Strange? Good?
Bad?"
She licked her lips. "I would never have another baby. You're right. One was more than enough."
"Where are you going with
this? Are you going where I think
you're going?"
"I... I didn't think I
was. But... are you thinking I'm going
where I think I'm going?"
"Wait. Stop.
I'm confused."
She relaxed again, pressing
her head against his shoulder, feeling the warmth between them. "Your son may be a rebel, but my son is a
smart kid."
"And?"
"And he
makes good decisions."
"So...?"
"So. I'm saying maybe... maybe Seth was on to something." She smiled up at him. "I should have a bad feeling about this. And I don't. And neither does Seth.
And neither, I think, do you."
He squeezed her shoulder
tightly. "Are you sure about this?"
"I'm never sure about
anything. But I hide it well."
"That you do." He leaned over to kiss the top of her
head.
"Marrying
you definitely has kept my life from being boring."
He smiled softly as he rested
his chin on the top of her hair.
"That's the idea."
*
In the pool house, two boys lounged on the chairs lazily listening to music, each one quietly reflective in his own way, while in the house, in the living room, a man and a woman sat together, each one quietly reflective in their own way, watching the television but not understanding or listening to what it was saying to them.
In the silence of the house on the hill on the cliff by the ocean, the music quietly came together and finally rang the note that had been waiting for so long to ring. It rang out proudly, unheard by any of the quiet household members, but triumphant and resolute all the same.
And the notes that had been ringing out with discord were finally playing the song they were intended to play.
And the music was good, and the song was strong, and they all knew, somewhere, that maybe, just maybe, they might have the chance to live happily ever after. If they were lucky. And if fate was on their side.
THE END
