I'm back! And so are you, 'cuz you're reading this chapter, dedicated to the marvelously clever readers:

Sara and her Pinkys

elfinemerald

They all found the V.F.D, which was, for your information, in the third paragraph from the bottom: "I was very faintly, dimly aware of her lipsticked mouth moving..."

So, here we go.

Chapter Two

Tinkle. Tinkle. Splosh. Tinkle. Tinkle. Tinkle. Tinkle. Tinkle. Tinkle.

          Another busy day in the life of the Quagmire triplets! We were both leaning against the walls of the fountain, trying to ignore the watery gurgles of the fountain. For the first, say, five minutes of living in a fountain it sounds like flower fairy bells, as they frolic in the meadow where the pink bunnies play all day under the rainbow with sunshine and merry glad little butterflies.

          Than it just makes you want to go pee.

We were both scribbling in our notebooks. "Duncan?"

          "Yeah?"

          "What starts with E and describes Klaus Baudelaire?"

          "Pardon?" Very frazzled, Duncan looked over towards me.

          "I'm writing an acrostic poem."

          "A what?"

          "An acrostic poem. See," I held out my notebook, "you write the name or noun or verb or whatever downward like this:

K

L

A

U

S

B

A

U

D

E

L

A

I

R

E

          'Than, you write an adjective or rhyming line describing whatever the poem is about. One line or word for each letter. Like so. I think Klaus Baudelaire is Kind, Likeable, Amiable, Unbreakable, Smart, and..."

          "Okay, Isadora, I get the point," said Duncan testily.

          "Believable, Authentic, Unfortunate, Delightful..." I continued as though I hadn't heard him.

          "I understand." He was getting angry.

          "Enchanting, Loveable, Attractive, Interesting..." I ignored him.

          "I get it!" His voice echoed off the tiny metal space.

          "Reliable, and...well, I'm stuck on the last 'E'"

          "Okay..." said Duncan, obviously glad I was finished.

          "Can you help me?" I asked.

          "Um...well, see I was taking notes on...um, something very important...and I can't really—" he stuttered, trying to find an excuse.

          "Energetic! Okay, he's Kind, Likeable, Amiable, Unbreakable, Smart, Believable, Authentic, Unfortunate, Delightful, Enchanting, Loveable, Attractive, Interesting, Reliable, and Energetic!" I took a deep breath. "Wow. That took a long time to say." I leaned back against the wall.

          "Well, I'm so thrilled you took the time and effort," said Duncan sarcastically.

          "Here, I can write one about you. Dull, Uninteresting, Normal—Not!, Crazy, Abnormal, and Nutty."

          "Shut up. Sometimes you can be so Ignorant, Stupid, Anomalous, Dumb, Odd, Raving, and Anger-inspiring!"

          Well. I'm sure you can see that that's not very fair. Duncan wasn't supposed to copy me and write poems. Especially crappy ones. I shook my head angrily. I was about to call him an Abnormal Stupid Sissy when I got an idea.

          "Hey! We could use an acrostic poem to tell the Baudelaires that we're here!"

          "You want to tell Klaus you think he's Kind, Likeable, Amiable...and,um.."

          "—Unbreakable, Smart, Believable, Authentic, Unfortunate, Delightful, Enchanting, Loveable, Attractive, Interesting, Reliable, and Energetic. No. To tell them that we're in the fountain."

          "What do you mean? We Are Here? That just says 'WAH.'"

          "No! I just thought maybe we could hide an acrostic message telling them where we were and than we could..." my voice trailed off.

          "Email it to them?"

          "No! Send it or something."

          I missed Duncan's reply do to the squawking and chirping as the crows landed on the fountain. We both held up our notebooks to protect us from their...their...oh, you know.

          "THE BIRDS!" yelled Duncan.

          "YUP, THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE!" I yelled back.

          "NO, FOR THE MESSAGE!"

          "WHAT?!"

          "I'VE DONE RESEARCH ON MIGRATORY CROWS! THEY'LL FLY OVER TO THE TREE!"

          "SO?"

          "OLAF SAID THAT THE TREE IS BY THE HOUSE WHERE THE BAUDELAIRES WILL BE!"

          "Oh!" The birds had flown away and I could speak normally. I hugged Duncan tightly. "Duncan, you're a genius!"

          "I wish you'd notice it more often," he said, trying to pry me off him.

Yay! Today is a good day! The radio's playing a song I like, and we got our school picture back. My school picture is nice, I think I'll send it to Tom Felton (I've sent him zillions of letters already, including a birthday card and gift,) because it's my only school picture where I look remotely human. In the class picture, I'm blinking and starting to smile and my hair looks like crap...oh well, go figure. No! Wait! Don't go...review!

Everybody who gives a review with the initials V.F.D. hidden in it gets goldfish. Mmm...goldfish. Boy, I love those things...

Goldfish are yummy and orange,

Kirby