June 23
Last night I had another nightmare about my father. It's always the same until the very end. He escapes from prison and comes to Josie's house. He breaks in and walks up the stairs. In each dream he gets closer and closer to Josie's room. Then I wake up. But last night I didn't wake up in time. He went into Josie's room and pulled Coulson out of bed. Josie started to scream and he threw Coulson on the ground, and shot him. Then went over to Josie and grabbed her.
That is where I finally woke up screaming. A few seconds later my bedroom door opened. I screamed even louder and curled into a ball by the headboard.
Then Josie stepped into the room and hurried to my bed. She sat there holding me while I just cried. I realized it was the first time I had really showed any emotion about the past 18 years with my father. Sam and Rob popped their heads in the room and Josie shooed them away. Upon seeing them enter the room I stopped crying and just leaned into Josie.
I wanted to tell her about the dream but felt stupid. So I just pushed it away. Feeling like a child, I asked Josie to tell me a story about anything.
Josie shifted me so I was laying down on the bed and smoothed my legs out with her hand, then she held he in her arms and lightly rocked me.
She told me a story her grandmother had told her as a child. Sadly it was the first time in my life any one has ever done this for me.
June 24th I woke up today still in Josie's arms. She woke up when I moved and smiled at me. She asked me if I was okay, and kissed my forehead. Then she went off to shower for work and told me to go back to sleep.
I tried to sleep but after about half an hour I started to head down the stairs to get breakfast. I heard Sam and Josie arguing in the kitchen so I stopped on the stairs.
Sam was arguing with Josie that she wasn't spending enough time with him. He was trying to start a new relationship and she wasn't focusing on it. Josie argued back well he needs my help right now. Guy is all alone he needs me.
Realizing they were arguing about me I crept down the stairs to hear more. I stopped where I could partially could see them and hear every word.
Sam was mad that she had stayed the night in my room, and then Josie started to argue back. I saw Sam reach his hand up to Josie. Thinking he was about to hit her I flew into the room and attempted to punch Sam with my right hand, the one in the cast. Sam and Josie were too shocked to even move. Sam reached out to me, and I hit him again. This time the pain shot through my entire body and I crumpled to the floor. Josie grabbed me and I started to cry again. I screamed at Sam not to hit her, and instantly wondered what was wrong with me.
Sam kneeled down to me and put a hand on the side of my face. He whispered to me that he wasn't angry at Josie or I, he was just feeling insecure about the loss of Lauren and how fast things were moving with him and Josie.
They told me he wasn't going to hit Josie and I was safe.
Suddenly I felt patronized. I pushed Josie back and swing at Sam again. I scrambled to run to the front door to leave and Rob caught me around the waist. Fighting him off I opened the door and ran outside and straight to the street.
Next thing I knew my face was on the concrete, and Rob was tackling me as a mini van whizzed by and screeched to a stop. A woman jumped out of the van and ran toward us. Rob got off me and pulled me up.
My face was scratched up and the open soars were bleeding. My ribs hurt even more, and my right arm bone was sticking though my cast which was soaked in blood. I looked at the scene around me and now saw the mini van woman, Rob, Sam, and Josie all standing over me staring in bewilderment, and I wanted to cry. Instead I just blacked out.
Last night I had another nightmare about my father. It's always the same until the very end. He escapes from prison and comes to Josie's house. He breaks in and walks up the stairs. In each dream he gets closer and closer to Josie's room. Then I wake up. But last night I didn't wake up in time. He went into Josie's room and pulled Coulson out of bed. Josie started to scream and he threw Coulson on the ground, and shot him. Then went over to Josie and grabbed her.
That is where I finally woke up screaming. A few seconds later my bedroom door opened. I screamed even louder and curled into a ball by the headboard.
Then Josie stepped into the room and hurried to my bed. She sat there holding me while I just cried. I realized it was the first time I had really showed any emotion about the past 18 years with my father. Sam and Rob popped their heads in the room and Josie shooed them away. Upon seeing them enter the room I stopped crying and just leaned into Josie.
I wanted to tell her about the dream but felt stupid. So I just pushed it away. Feeling like a child, I asked Josie to tell me a story about anything.
Josie shifted me so I was laying down on the bed and smoothed my legs out with her hand, then she held he in her arms and lightly rocked me.
She told me a story her grandmother had told her as a child. Sadly it was the first time in my life any one has ever done this for me.
June 24th I woke up today still in Josie's arms. She woke up when I moved and smiled at me. She asked me if I was okay, and kissed my forehead. Then she went off to shower for work and told me to go back to sleep.
I tried to sleep but after about half an hour I started to head down the stairs to get breakfast. I heard Sam and Josie arguing in the kitchen so I stopped on the stairs.
Sam was arguing with Josie that she wasn't spending enough time with him. He was trying to start a new relationship and she wasn't focusing on it. Josie argued back well he needs my help right now. Guy is all alone he needs me.
Realizing they were arguing about me I crept down the stairs to hear more. I stopped where I could partially could see them and hear every word.
Sam was mad that she had stayed the night in my room, and then Josie started to argue back. I saw Sam reach his hand up to Josie. Thinking he was about to hit her I flew into the room and attempted to punch Sam with my right hand, the one in the cast. Sam and Josie were too shocked to even move. Sam reached out to me, and I hit him again. This time the pain shot through my entire body and I crumpled to the floor. Josie grabbed me and I started to cry again. I screamed at Sam not to hit her, and instantly wondered what was wrong with me.
Sam kneeled down to me and put a hand on the side of my face. He whispered to me that he wasn't angry at Josie or I, he was just feeling insecure about the loss of Lauren and how fast things were moving with him and Josie.
They told me he wasn't going to hit Josie and I was safe.
Suddenly I felt patronized. I pushed Josie back and swing at Sam again. I scrambled to run to the front door to leave and Rob caught me around the waist. Fighting him off I opened the door and ran outside and straight to the street.
Next thing I knew my face was on the concrete, and Rob was tackling me as a mini van whizzed by and screeched to a stop. A woman jumped out of the van and ran toward us. Rob got off me and pulled me up.
My face was scratched up and the open soars were bleeding. My ribs hurt even more, and my right arm bone was sticking though my cast which was soaked in blood. I looked at the scene around me and now saw the mini van woman, Rob, Sam, and Josie all standing over me staring in bewilderment, and I wanted to cry. Instead I just blacked out.