Aaahhh, what is going on?! Guess what? There's a TIE! AGAIN! hahah. isn't that just uncanny? and what's more, its a three-way tie, which made it a bit more interesting. So guess what? I just decided to let the one that did not get enough votes. ^^ (But I have to admit, this is my favorite one... lol)

Jack - 3, Crutchy - 3, David - 3, Specs - 1

So this is how its going to go from now on... I'm still going to let all of you vote, but if there's a tie again, I'm going to have to pick who's going next. I won't tell you the order, but there's only three more newsies, so it won't be that hard to figure out. There's going to be at least five more chapters, so if you love me *i know you do!* you'll keep on reading, right? right. ^^

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Fear

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Another one? Hold on… I'm almost done here. There we go. I think I have enough money to get a decent meal today. So what's your question for today? Fear? That's interesting… hmm… I think that my fear is… not having enough money? Nah… you know, this is going to take a while. I think its change. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Remember the strike? Of course you do! Who wouldn't? Anyways, we couldn't… wouldn't sell papes until they changed the price. Damn those big newspaper owners. They did all of those things for themselves, didn't they? Its probably just too hard for them to think of somebody else besides themselves. So back to what I was saying… the strike. I don't know how we lived through those weeks. Without selling papes, where were we to get our money? I'm just glad that it turned out the way that we wanted to. We won.

But what happened during those weeks will be in my mind forever. I mean, those things that happened… they're not that easy to forget. I thought that we were going to starve to death… I thought that we weren't going to be able to have enough money to pay the rent… I thought that we weren't going to be able to see Medda unless we pay the front door. There were so many things going through my mind. Not just me, but the others too. I wasn't the only one in this. But we were lucky enough to be in a position where we had friendships with the people that we needed.

It wasn't easy, though. I was close to giving up. I remember wanting to stay in my bed as long as I can before Jack and Kloppman were around to get us up and running. I can still feel that emptiness in my stomach… I could almost feel it eating itself… deteriorating. And having an empty stomach isn't necessarily a piece of cake. It affected how you thought and acted. It was a miracle we survived. It wasn't until all the other newsies were gone that I was still there… my pillow over my head and tucked under the covers. My vision was still blurry without my glasses, but I managed looking at the blankets that surrounded me. I didn't want to go.

I argued… I told him that we were nothing but street rats. That we just wanted everything to stay where it was. That Pulitzer doesn't care about us. That it's hard enough for us to live through one day being a newsie, just think how different this is.

That's how I thought… I was happy with the way things were even though it gave me a few black eyes and bruises here and there. But I lived. I didn't have anything to worry about other than having somebody run after me or attack me. Things were fine the way things were. Why did they have to go around and change it?

Hm, but Jack, he wouldn't give up for the world. He wanted a better place. I wouldn't disagree with that, but I was satisfied with what I had. And you know how Jack is and his ambitions. Him and Santa Fe. He knew that if we kept hanging in there, we would win. If he couldn't have Santa Fe at his hands, he would have Pulitzer begging down on his knees for change.

He told me that we'd beat them. He told me that we'll live through this and soon enough, things will be back to normal. Now, don't go thinking he was affectionate when he was saying this. He was determined and willing to go on. You really couldn't stop him in the middle of his speeches. He even talked about how Denton was on our side… that he knows our cause. He said that all it takes is for us breaking down their doors and chanting and shouting with all our might. That if we win this, if we get through with it, that the working kids of New York can eat and sleep peacefully once again. He said that we were just as important as them. That we're people too… with minds just as strong as them.

Now you're thinking that he's one hell of a speech giver. And he is. He just lets his emotion get away with him. So what did you think I did? Yeah, I got up and joined them in the streets. After all that talking Jack did, it got me to thinking. What if we created a change for the better? It wouldn't be so bad. For a moment, I wasn't scared at all and looked at the bright side.

That's my fear… and I think it still is. I don't think I would've survived without that pep talk from Jack. But I'm still scared of change. You never know what will happen… if its for the worse or for the better. As for the strike, we came out lucky… we stuck through the problems and won.

But now I came to realize that change can come either way. A nightmare or a blessing.

-Specs

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Shout-outs

Sapphy: you know what? i tend to write more sad stories... :( hahah. i'm really loving your island ff, sapphy! *jumps up and down* i know i've said this a million times before but, i can't wait to see what happens next!

Oneconfusednewsie: there you are! lol, i was wondering where you ran off to... oh wow, your step dad was like that? coinky-dink.

Justduck: aren't you glad that specs made it?! i know you are. ^^

Frenchygoil: hahha, just make sure that you always have a box of tissues with you. *wink* ooh yeah! christmas! only... *counts* 23 more days!

Evenstar: hahah, there ya have it! you asked, i gave! well... basically, yeah. lol. but as for my other ffs, i'm working on it!

Puck: Yeah, i agree! Crutchy's cool! ^^ But if he only had one... more... vote...

Emu: aw, its great to know that i rock your world. ^^ don't you just love the sudden random ideas that pop into my head? i swear, i had another one in the middle of biology class while we were watching a video about influenza. hahah, it just comes at the weirdest times.

Jo: Hang in there! We'll see how Jack does after the votes are cast in for the next chapter... dun dun dun...