Almost time for dinner... hahah, that was random. i know that i put up the chapters a few days ago, but i couldn't help it, and now we have... crutchy! ^^ so that means, davey will go next. don't worry about it, there's still TWO more chapters (not counting davey's chap) that will remain... erm, unknown. dun dun dun... hahah. yes, i have finals coming up, so maybe it'll take a while for me to update. which reminds me, i still hafta do my speech notecards... aah, see? lol.

oh yeah, and the scores were davey - 2, and crutchy - 4

~*~

Fear

~*~

You never get tired of asking questions, do you? Hah, I won't be surprised if you end up working for one of those big newspaper companies. I'll laugh so hard if I see your name on the same newspapers that we're selling today. So, go ahead, ask. Alright, then… fear…

This one's going to take a while… just let me talk for a while, okay? Thanks. Not everyone's born healthy, you know? It really doesn't help that New York's not exactly the cleanest place to live. Especially with all those germs and bacteria around. I'm not saying that I'm grossed out by that or anything, geez, that's not my fear! I'm just saying that it's those things that got me the way I am. Yeah, I was born with a bum leg. Not everything comes out perfect.

They didn't pay that much attention to me at the orphanage. You'd think they would with my condition. But I didn't really care. I wanted to be like the other kids… I wanted to run around and play. But then what was I supposed to do? I couldn't even walk. What I'm going to say next may surprise you… I haven't been in crutches all my life. Half the time I was just sitting on whatever I can find. You know where my first crutches came from? Snyder. Hah, I knew it. That's alright… you really should've seen the look on your face though. No, he's not changed, if you wanted to know. I think he was visiting the orphanage… looking to see what he would expect for his refuge, no doubt. He practically tossed me the crutch. Not exactly an act of kindness. I still don't know why he did that… I guess I stopped thinking about it when I went to the refuge during the strike. He didn't look at me differently. I was just a kid he gave crutches too. Hah, maybe there's a human underneath it all.

So when I finally got used with my crutch, I think I found out that I could almost do anything. Sure, it took some getting used to, but I got the hang of it. Even though I heard whispers behind my back, I was glad to be up and running… er, well, you know what I mean.

I always thought that I wasn't able to do anything ever since I can remember. I was a nothing. A kid that can't walk at all. But I guess I realized that my crutch helped me more than I thought. I wasn't helpless. I just needed something to lean on, in more than one way. It didn't take long for me to think that just because my body's not in perfect shape, doesn't mean that I can think for myself and do things on my own. I'm still human, after all. I can do what I want, when I have the will and strength to want to do it. Does that make sense? I hope so.

So back to your question. Oh yeah, fear. For me, I think its not knowing that I have the ability to do something for myself. Its not having the strength to wake up every day and being able to sell my papes just like the others. I'm not saying that I want to be just like them, 'cause this leg's a part of me.

I'm saying that its really scary for me to find out that I won't be able to do anything. That I'll be stuck in a chair for all my life. I don't want that. Life's too precious to give up.

-Crutchy

~*~

Shout-outs

Sapphy: Actually, if you think about it, it IS kind of like save the last dance. *shrug* but i thought it was okay... well maybe 'cause of the songs, but that's just me. :P yeah, i hate finals... i gotta start studying for that, blargh.

Sagey: what's up with ff.net and your comp? it didn't work again? aw. hahah, its always the problem with the tenses, huh? but that's alright... maybe 'cause i didn't look over it before i put it up. :P i wrote THAT? *checks* hah, i did. its really shocking to see what i can come up with when my muses are shouting ideas and urging me to write.

JustDuck: hahah, you got it again! ^^ aren't you just lucky, ducky? hahah. yeah, i hope i can think of another one... i actually kinda know what to write about next... but just a little hazy on the plot. :P but we'll see!

Oneconfusednewsie: Gracias! ^^ I'm taking spanish right now... y'know, i used to like it so much when i first started last year, but now there's so many things to memorize! aah!

Frenchygoil: i agree! who wouldn't want to live there? *wink* hahah. my muses come out when i'm relaxed... and happy. so i haven't been doing much lately. don't you just love studying? *please note my sarcasm* lol.

Snaps: hahah, well, mush makes my world go round. ^^ ah, i haven't written for hypnotized in a while! hopefully i'll get one or two more chaps by christmas... HOPEFULLY...

Runaway: Yup, we're still voting. Or... not anymore. Ah, you'll see... lol, i'm confusing myself. i have lists too... kinda... i have a little notebook next to the computer so i can write anything down i need to remember.

*jumps* OOH! food's ready... hahah, i'm hungry...