*tear* its almost over! Can you believe it?! i'm really anxious to put up the next few chapters though... but i'll... try... not... to. although i know all of you want to see it up. so here ya have it... the last chap you'll actually know about! DAVEY! ^^
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Fear
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You're asking me?! I'm amazed… well, I guess since I'm a part of the newsies now that I shouldn't be amazed. Just really shocked that's all. What is it again? Oh… fear. And I thought it was going to be something else. Hah, guess I was wrong. Okay, well… fear. I'll get on with it then… it can't be that hard, can it?
I guess my family knows it now… me coping with what I'm scared of. I never really dealt with change easily. I don't really know. I guess I get used to the way things are, to how it is right now that I get content. I know that change can be a good thing, that's what everybody says, but it just isn't that easy for me. Who's to know? Its not like you can read my mind, right?
I think it dawned on me when I found the newsies. A bunch of kids just trying to make money and survive in the world. Honestly, I didn't think it was going to be that hard being a newsie. Sell a few papes and go home… what was so hard about that? Hah, I was wrong. I didn't know anything. Thank God for Jack. If it weren't for him, Les and I probably wouldn't have known what to do that day. I guess I wasn't much affected that day… especially since Jack was there to show me the ropes. I think it gave me assurance, or something, y'know?
But then the strike… that was totally and completely different for me. I thought it was going to be just another summer with me and Les selling papes all day with the newsies… nothing eventful. Hah, yeah right. What Hearst and those other newspaper fellas did was wrong, I agree with that, but I didn't know how much it was going to affect the others. I couldn't back down now, can I? I was a part of them… and I was their friend. I tried telling Jack, but no, he wanted to go on with it.
Right then, I was scared. I didn't know whether we were doing the right thing. We could get in the refuge for this… but that was nothing to the others. Sneak out, that's what they said. But I wasn't like them. I was still learning. Then there was jail. I know I was being drastic, but I didn't live the life they did. I didn't come from a broken family or was beaten up by father (although we still had our arguments). I was just a normal kid trying to make money. And that was what was different. I was NORMAL.
Do you get it now? I don't have an exact answer for you. It's really funny how I started talking about change, then me about being normal. That's why I don't really know my fear so I can't exactly point it out to you. I guess change and differences are my fears? I don't really know. You tell me.
On with what I was saying before… I'm actually kind of glad that Jack went through with it. Yeah, he used my words and lied to us all, but we all lived through it. It wasn't easy, that's for sure, but we breathed a little better the next day knowing that we can still live our lives with no worries. But I'm not saying that change for me has been exactly great. Then it was a sudden shift for me again… I had to go back to school. I really didn't want to…. but I know I needed it. I wanted to make something of myself… not a bad dream to look forward to, huh? Yeah, I guess not.
I think my point is… that it all depends on your feelings. On what you're feeling right then and there to show what you fear. I guess for some people there is this one fear just sticks to them their whole life, but for me… it's constantly changing. Heh, kinda reminds me of how Sarah can never decide what to do with her sewing. But that's beside the point. You see, my fear can be almost anything. Change, my differences, maybe even myself… but I don't think I'm going to dig too deep for that. Maybe the next day it'll be fate or time. But I really don't know. How am I supposed to know what I fear? I'm really sorry about this, you know. I didn't think it was going to be this hard… answering a really simple question. I guess I'm going to have to be unanswered for now. You're not bad, you know that? Come talk to me some other time, and maybe I'll know.
-David Jacobs
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FRENCHYGOIL! LOOK HERE! i know i already sent this to justduck and oneconfusednewsie, but i'm putting this up for frenchygoil. if you don't mind, i need your email so i can send you something *whispers* its a secret! if you don't wanna give me your email, that's okay, i'll just put up what i'll tell you in the next chapter. anyways, i already got a reply back from oneconfusednewsie and justduck, so tell me your email! lol. :P
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Shout-outs
Sapphy: Hahah, Snyder's... weird, isn't he? *jumps up and down* i'm getting the newsies dvd for christmas!!!! ^^ hahahh, that was really random.
Bookey: thanks! ^^ a good updater? you can say that... but i'm not exactly one! i tend to have ideas at multiple times, especially when i'm in the middle of something. i have... two other fics that i hardly ever update. but aren't you happy i'm updating THIS one? lol.
Oneconfusednewsie: yeah... now spanish for me just goes by SO SLOWLY. blah. hahah, well at least you're sure that the person you voted goes next this time!
Justduck: Nope, i'm not on the east coast... i live in a US territory in the pacific, though. lol. finals starts next week for us, the 16th, 17th, and 18th. you know what sucks? its all on the last three days of school. *pout* so we don't get to have fun or any of that junk.
Runaway: Hahah, i'm glad that i didn't end up telling all of you... i tend to get away with myself sometimes. :P thanks! i think i did well on my speech. you know what's funny? i had a headache before i gave it, and afterwards, it was gone! lol.
Sagey: ^^ ohh okie... yeah, if you think about it, it only happens with your reviews. :P hahha, well, snyder's messed up like that. now if you actually think about it, with that hidden motive thing... if i'd have thought of that earlier, i would've made his chapter a bit more sadder (hahha, bad grammar).