The insane musings of the authoress: Hey, this is my first Chobits fic! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Do I look like a millionaire genius? Then don't assume that I own Chobits.
Christmas
A Chobits one-shot by Shattered Midnight Dreams
As I stared unseeingly at the Christmas tree, lovingly decorated by my persocom maids, I felt that dagger pierce my heart again. The dagger called loneliness.
Christmas was Kaede's absolute favourite time of year. No other time made her smile and laugh so much. Another Christmas without Kaede. And each time this day rolled around, the wound that I thought had healed was savagely ripped open again, left to bleed. Sometimes my tears fell to mingle with the blood. Sometimes I was so numb that I couldn't even cry.
~ Flashback ~
"Look, Minoru! It's snowing!" Kaede croaked, her voice so weak that it was pitiful.
"Shush," I muttered, "don't try to talk. Just rest."
"Minoru, I am so happy."
How on Earth could she be happy? She was lying there, her face as pale as the hospital bed she lay upon, with, according to the doctors, mere days to live.
"How- how can you say that?" I asked, my voice cracking from the emotional strain.
Kaede simply smiled, and she looked like an angel right then in her flowing white nightgown.
"Because, you will be the last thing I see. You against a snowy backdrop. And the Christmas Day bells will be ringing in my ears as I leave. What-" she broke into coughs that wracked her thin frame, "more can I ask for?"
"Kaede, don't talk like that! You can't just give up!" I yelled desperately.
"But I want to, Minoru. I can't take it anymore. I want to let go. I want to fly to where the stars will heal me, where soft hands of light will dry my tears. But, before I go, can I ask you to do one thing for me."
"Anything, Kaede, anything," I said, my hands finding her own weak, limp ones and clasping them tightly.
"Don't cry for me. I'm- I'm not worth it."
And then she was still. That slow, solid beep form the monitoring machine beside her was a noise that would haunt me in my worst nightmares for years to come. But I didn't cry. Why? Because that was Kaede's last wish, and I would do anything for her.
Doctors and nurses charged in, wrenching my hands from Kaede's, wheeling her away to do some last checks.
'Happy Christmas, Minoru,' I thought bitterly.
~ End Flashback ~
Maybe I didn't cry on the day she died, but I wept buckets at her funeral, six weeks later. And every day in-between. But, most of the time, I keep my emotions under control. But Christmas… Every Christmas I spend without Kaede kills me a little more. Every time I hear those Christmas bells ring happily from all the churches, a little more poison is released into my body. Every time it snows I die a little more inside.
Only Yuzuki understands this. I told Yuzuki that, when I die, if she is still around, she is to make sure that my funeral is on Christmas Day. And they have to play Kaede's favourite song at it. She took this in, sensibly, calmly, rationally. If I told anyone else this then they would be horrified. A sixteen-year-old making funeral arrangements? But I know it can't be much longer before I join Kaede. How many more Christmases can I stand without her?
If it weren't for Yuzuki then I would not have even made it this far. She is the sole reason I am still here. She taught me to smile again, but not even she can cheer me up at Christmas.
You know, she told me something yesterday that shocked me.
"Minoru," she said, "when you die, may I be buried with you?"
That was the way she said it. A polite question. And I told her that she could, because she knows what I do- neither of us can exist without the other.
I feel a soft pair of hands on my shoulders.
"Minoru, are you okay?"
She obviously feels me tense up, for then she says,
"Of course you're not okay. My programming has failed me. That is a silly question."
She blames herself even though it is not her fault.
"You should be happy! This is Kaede's favourite day! I bet she is having a party in heaven."
I know she's right. Self-pity is not going to help me, or bring back Kaede. Tears began to fill my eyes, and I turned to blindly reach for her. I buried my head in her neck and sobbed. Yuzuki said nothing, just let me hold her, because she could tell that I needed her right then.
When I eventually stop crying, she wriggles out of my embrace, taking my hand instead. She does that all the time when I cry. She knows how much it comforts me to have someone hold my hand. I see that she has done this to let her other hand be free, for she reaches into her apron pocket and pulls out a rolled-up piece of paper, which she then ties to the Christmas tree. I watch her intently, my sorrow forgotten for a moment in my curiosity.
"What is that?" I ask.
"It's a prayer for Kaede," she says simply.
And, although she doesn't say it, I can tell that it's a prayer for us too.
End
Author's note: Sorry for dumping so much angst on you at such a happy time of year, but this plot kept bugging me! Forgive me!
Shattered Midnight Dreams