Yugi-oh! Crime spree
Disclaimer: I do not own Yugi-oh! But I do own this fic and some
characters in it
Joey: Yugi! What's wrong?
Yugi: My deck was robbed from me!
Tea: What happened?
Yugi: Well...
(In the past)
Yugi: Grandpa needs more drugs! I need to hurry!
(A gangsta dude comes up)
Gangsta: I'z a hear you lookin' for drugs dawg.
Yugi: Not that kind!
Gangsta: Buy some or die!
Yugi: No! I refuse!
Gangsta: Fine!
(Grabs his deck and runs off)
Yugi: NOO!
(Back to reality)
Tea: Is it abnormal if we actually see this?
Joey: How could he of just take your deck?
Yugi: Ummm, well
Tea: Tell me the truth! Weren't you supposed to be visiting the elderly?
Yugi: Ummm...
Tea: *gasp* Did you trade your deck for Jell-O?!
Yugi: NO!...an old lady distracted me with Jell-O and once I turned around I turned around and...and, AND MY DECK WAS GONE!!
Tea: What was SO appealing about the Jell-O?
Yugi: There were 31 flavors!
Joey: That's ice cream.
Yugi: SHUT UP!! okay so it was an exaggeration, but there were lots of pretty colors! pink, red, purple, bwue...gween....orange...
Tea: Snap out of it!
Yugi: ...what am I going to do?!
Joey: Go steal it back!
Yugi: Hey! I have an idea! Let's go on a run of petty senseless vandalism!?
Tea: Yugi, do you really think...
Joey: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!
Tea: Oh boy...
Joey: Come on, Tea, let's do it! Of course I mean going on an escapade!
Tea: No.
Joey: I'll have to hypnotize you if you don't.
Tea: I don't believe in those things.
Joey: (grabs a pendulum) you will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: Pu-lease! Stop it! It's never gonna work!
Joey: You will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: I might!
Joey: You will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: OKAY! OKAY! FI~NE!!!
Joey: Yeah that's right!
Yugi: First, let's go and make the Chess Club's life a living hell!
Tea: Um... no.
Joey: Let's go steal from the Dollar Shop!
Yugi & Tea: No.
Yugi: Teepee a house!
Tea: You know, why don't we add putting bologna on a car to our stupid list!
Yugi: ...hey!
Joey: That ain't a bad idea!
Tea: You can't be serious.
Yugi: I bet Grandpa has a freezer chest full of them!
Joey: Well what are we waiting for? Let's scram!
Tea: ...
Joey: What's wrong?
Tea: Why am I doing this again?
Joey: You will join us in our ti--
Tea: Alright, shut up! DAMN!
Yugi: *gasps* Now this is VERY PG-13!
Tea: Grow up!
Yugi: Say darn!
Tea: Shut up, you damn brat! *slap*
Joey: Wow! You actually slapped him!
Yugi: (holding his cheek) damn...
Tea: Hypocrite!
Yugi: Am not!...
(later at Grandpa's house)
Yugi: Grandpa I'm home! grandpa? Where are you?
(a woman comes from the halls)
Woman: Who are you?
Yugi: I'm Yugi Motto and I'm Solomon Motto's grandson!
Woman: Can you say M.O.T.O ?
Joey: what?
Woman: Master of the obvious. Mr. Motto is not here at the moment
Tea: Who are you?
Woman: I work for the Domino Museum, I am here about Mr. Motto's excavation in Egypt
Yugi: What for?
Woman: Because... I still didn't get a written or oral conc--
Joey: heh-heh!
Woman: Are you on drugs?
Joey: I'm so baked right now even I don't know!
Woman: Anyway I need a conclusion from all the participants in the excavation and what they did, etc. and he still owes me something for a bet we made.
Tea: What's your name?
Woman: Helen.
Grandpa: I'm home...who are you?
Helen: Don't feign ignorance on me you senile old fart! You've been avoiding me haven't you?!
Grandpa: Oh yeah! You're that bimbo at the excavation site in Egypt!
Helen: !!!
Grandpa: What do you want? Or is it what I want!?
Tea: Mr. Motto...that's disgusting...
Joey: Whoo! Giant Hamsta's
Tea: Those are Koriboh on a poster moron!
Helen: You need to give me the conclusion and WHERE'S MY MAGIC 8-BALL!!?
Grandpa: Do you want me to chain you to the bed?
Helen: YOU SICK CONTAMINATED FERRET!
Grandpa: Oh, now I remember that bet! I don't have the magic 8-ball anymore.
Helen: What did you do?
Grandpa: Oh, I gave it away.
Helen: Never mind... I still need a conclusion about the cave-in as well
Grandpa: I'll mail one to you, where do you live?
Helen: Oh no! Look mister, I'm 28 and you're, what, 80?!
Grandpa: I'm as active as a kid of 17!
Helen: N'yeah, u-huh. Touch your toes!
Grandpa: (attempts to and then a loud crack is heard) Oh! My back, my back, bloody hell!
Helen: I'll come back next week!
(she leaves)
Yugi:...is that the same magic 8-ball I have?
Grandpa: Yep.
Yugi: Do you have bologna in the chest freezer?
Grandpa: yep.
Yugi: Thanks! (tea, Joey and Yugi grab lots of bologna and leave)
Grandpa: Hey!...help?...
(somewhere in town)
Joey: I get all the black cars!
Yugi: No fair!
Tea: I'll take a rusted pile of crap
Joey: Hey a black limo! Hey guys, help me out!
(they all go put bologna on the limo (oh F.Y.I. bologna that sits on a car takes off the
paint))
Yugi: Alright! Now lets hide and see who owns the limo!
Tea: I feel awful
Joey: Don't worry! Whoever owns this should have enough money for 2 of these!
Tea: That's supposed to make me feel better?
Joey: Hey! We're helping the dealerships and paint sprayers here!
(Seto comes out of the building with Ishizu
Ishizu: So how about tomorrow? Or better yet in an hour!
Seto: That wasn't good enough to hold you off for that long?
Joey: *whisper, whisper*somebody got lucky!
Tea: *loudly whispering* No! I wanted Seto! Stupid bitch!
Yugi: But I thought--
Tea: *whisper, whisper* Yeah you thought! I would never with you!
Yugi: Aww..
Seto: My limo! What happened to my limo?!
Tea, Yugi & Joey: O-o...
Seto: Whoever did this wasted a lot of perfectly good Oscar Meyer Bologna!
Yugi: *quietly singing* Oh, I wanna be an Oscar Meyer Weiner!
Tea: Shut up! You sing like a 5-year-old was just hit by a car!
Yugi: Hey...
Seto: Hey new guy! Take all these pieces of bologna off!
NG: At least you could remember my name sir.
Seto: Shut up! I don't wanna!
Ishizu: Hey! You could make your limo look like a Dalmatian!
Seto:...that's with black spots, not black with rust spots
Ishizu: oh.
Joey: Hey you guys! Let's go!
(they go)
Yugi: Hey! There's the chess club!
Joey: Let's through our rotten bologna at them!
Yugi: Okay... Hey there's Bakura!
( Bakura's playing chess)
Bakura: Checkmate. I'll play 2 more games I suppose.
Yugi: Hey Bakura! Why are you playing chess? Chess is for nerds!
Bakura: Well as you know, I suppose, I am British and all British chaps play chess, I suppose.
Tea: Are you winning?
Bakura: Never lost since I got my millennium ring, I suppose.
Yugi: Oh, ok... We'll be leaving now *whisper* Nerd!
Bakura: You know I'm not deaf, I suppose.
Joey: You've said 'I suppose' let's see...umm 1, 2, 3, 4...8...5, 5 times!
Bakura:...next time allow me to count how many times you say 'Pizza' when we're at lunch.
Joey: That's different wise guy!
Yugi: Let's leave before we kill each other.
(they walk just around the corner and see a box of firecrackers)
Joey: CHINESE FIREWORKS!!
Yugi: Yeah! (looks at chess club) Hee!
Tea: Don't!
Yugi: I do it!
Tea: No!
Yugi: Joey and I gonna do it!
Joey: FIRE IN THE HOLE! ( he throws some of the firecrackers at the chess club and...*BOOM*)
Tea: Bakura!! ( she runs up to Bakura's side and picks up his head) Are you okay?!
Bakura: I'm fine, I suppose... but... IT SURE DAMN HURTS!!!...I suppose...(he faints)
Tea: Bakura!... huh? (notices the millennium ring)hmm.. (she takes it and puts it on)
Tea: hmm? (notices self) Aah! What happened? (notices Bakura)? I'm in another body?...a female body?...! ( Yes it's the spirit of the millennium ring) this could be very interesting)
Yugi: Hey Tea!
( Tea stuffs the ring in her shirt)
Yugi: We need to go do some more crime!
Tea: You're committing crimes? You!?
Yugi:...yeah...and you are supposed to be helping us remember?
Tea: So what are we going to do now?
Yugi: I don't know.
Tea: How about wrecking a huge store?
Yugi: Which one?
Joey: Hey look at the TV. over there the news!
Yugi: Oh goody, I bet it's one of those high-speed chases!
(on the TV. with a male and female anchorman)
Female: Hi! I'm Anna Nicole Smith!
Male: And I'm 'Unspeakable'!
ANS: No, your Dave Copperfield and I'm famous!
DC: No I'm speaking of the song 'Unspeakable'! Ace of Base is coming back! After making the people of America so damn miserable for not releasing the Da Capo album they will instead perform live in Lee's Summit, MO and sing everyone of their songs!
ANS: Yu know? I can sing too! ah~em!
DC: NO!!!! Let's go on to other breaking news
ANS: A convicted felon and drug dealer from Columbia has escaped from prison. Here's a short clip of him last month before he was put in the slammer!
(goes to clip)
Reporter: Mister? Are you aware of all the dangers of your drugs?
C-man: No. Drugs good They do no harm. Drugs not responsible for death of millions. They probably ate bad McDonalds food.
Yugi: Those Mc Griddles are starting a rebellion in my stomach
Joey: You ate at McDonald's?
(Yugi nods)
Joey: HAHAHA!!
reporter: What are your last words as a man outside of bars?
C-man: Yo you mother *BEEP* pizza' white *BEEP* trash! You ain't gonna live another *BEEP* day once I get out of this *BEEP* *BEEP* hell-hold you lil'*BEEP* bag you uncle *BEEP* pizza' ass-wipe! and tell that mother *BEEP* whore you call a wife that there ain't gonna be *BEEP* of your body when the *shock* OWW!!
Reporter: That's all we need of you! God you must be hopped up on something!
ANS: He is lose, like me, tonight and has been for 4 days and hates it when people can't remember his name...umm...what was his name again?
DC: It's *static*
Joey: Why'd the TV. go out?
Tea: Hey let's go steal something!
Joey: Now your okay with it?
Tea: Hey I can get into this!
Yugi: Let's walk around town and look at stores
(they walk for a while)
Yugi: Hey Tea, how abo~ (turns around to notice she's groping herself) What are you doing?
Tea: Hmm? Oh this? I don't know why other girls yell when someone tries to grope them...it feels so damn good!
Yugi: Then can I
Tea: No!
Yugi: But you just said.
Tea: So?
Yugi: You're being very mean today, you know it's bad for people to be mean to the protagonist of the story
Tea: If you don't stop talking I am going to bitch slap you!
Yugi: I'll be good...
Joey: I never noticed how big your 2-funbits were!
Tea: You can't have them (and I can!)
(Yugi grabs the magic 8-ball)
Yugi: Will Tea and I ever *shake*
M8ball: only in your perverted dreams
Joey: Wow! I didn't know that was an answer!
Tea: Hey look! The 'Neighborhood Cafe' would be the perfect place to trash! They put pepper in my cottage cheese when I told them I was allergic to pepper!
Yugi: I didn't know you were allergic? I knew Bakura is but not you.
Tea: *anime sweat* umm, yeah!
(inside the cafe)
Tristan: I'm so glad we could be together today
Serenity: Yeah! this is so nice!...where's my pancakes?
Tristan: Aww...coffee can't start a day without it!
(they get their food)
Tristan: Aww it's hot!!
(Joey, Yugi, and Tea come in)
Yugi: (Gazes at food) food...
Tea: (grabs a plate from a table)... FOOD FIGHT!! (she throws the food in Tristan's face who throws his cup of coffee up in Serenity's eyes)
Serenity: MY EYES!! GOSH DARN IT!!
(everybody starts throwing food)
Joey: Ooh! Crepes!! *splat* Hey! pancakes with sticky syrup ruin my hair!
(Seto and Ishizu are outside)
Ishizu: What's going on here?
Seto: Damn! What's another place we can go?
Ishizu: hold on ( she uses her millennium necklace and everybody calms down)
Joey: wo~o~o!
Customers: a~a~h!
Seto: What did you do?
Ishizu: New power...makes everyone instantly high! I call it shadow dust.
Seto: Hey let me have some of that!
Ishizu: Not now.
Tea: A~hh I remember this! the buzz!
Serenity: A~ah...I don't know if I should be happy or ticked of!... Ice! Ice could help! ( grabs an ice cube, puts it up on her eyes and scratches one with the edge) AAH DARN IT!!
Tristan: Wow you know? You have huge hands Tea!
Tea: Wow, your right! I could be a boxer!
Yugi: I can too~!
Tea: These are so huge! Hey Yugi *bam* See!? I can be a boxer!
Yugi: @ _ @
Tea: Wimp! Hey! my toes are so tiny! They're tiny like a horse! Oh, horses are so funny, standing on those tiny feet, neigh, and neigh! ( crawls out of the building on all 4's neighing)
Joey: ...where are all my bright ideas?
Tristan: There it is! It's running away!
Joey: Come back good idea!
Tristan: Yeah, come back! ( they leave chasing nothing)
Yugi: @ _ @
Seto: Can we get an omelets, some toast
Ishizu: and peanut butter!
Seto: and some hot sauce!
Ishizu: Bell Peppers!
Seto: With Taffy!
Ishizu: And spaghetti!!
Seto:...and some milk of magnesia
waiter:...what happened?
Seto: Hey! Were you not listening?
Waiter: I feel weird, I don't remember what I'm supposed to do.
Seto:...let's leave.
Yugi:@ _ @
Ishizu: all right
Yugi: @ _ @... (comes to) where'd everyone go? *shake*
M8ball: away from you
Yugi: Wait for me! (Yugi runs out of the building while Serenity flails around on the ground)
Serenity: Help me! (Yugi runs into another building)
Yugi: Hello? Hell- (notices people on the room)
Guy1: Seto finally shutted up! And he won't remember my name!
(Yes it's Seto's new Limo driver)
Guy2: Well did you get the stuff?
Guy1: Yes here amigo
Guy2: Gracious
Yugi: Oh no! It's Columbian drug lords!
(the drug lords look at Yugi)
Yugi: Oh-oh... what should I do now? *shakes M-8ball*
M-8ball: you're screwed
Yugi:???...! Oh no! Ahh! (runs away)
Guy1: You ain't getting away freak! (they chase Yugi)
Serenity: Yugi? Are you here? (starts feeling around) Wow! an Icepack@ (breaks the bag open and gets cocaine in her eyes) NOT AN ICEPACK!!
( Now with Joey and Tristan)
Joey: Come back...umm, what were we chasing?
Tristan: Mariah Carey! Didn't you see her?!
Joey: Really? Oh my god, it's Mariah!!
(they start running screaming like little girls)
Joey: Umm... what were we chasing again?
Tristan: You have the attention span of a numbing bird
Joey: Did you just say...numbing bird?
Tristan: Yes, yes I did!
Joey & Tristan: Aha, ha, aha, ahahaha!
Joey: Why are we laughing?
Tristan: Yo! It's a hippy! ( they go to the hippy)
(now with Tea)
Tea: Ooh, I never knew how fun clouds could be!
Man: Umm, miss? You're at carnival...and that's cotton candy
Tea: Carnival? Oh! I thought it smelt like cabbage!
Man: Would you like some cotton candy?
Tea: No, I wanna touch it!
Man: For $5
Tea: Okay (gives money) Ooh! It feels sticky! *lick finger* and it's sweet too!
Man: Where are you from?
Tea: The shadow realm (walks off)
Man: ???
(back to Joey & Tristan... and the hippy)
Joey: Yeah this is great *bubble*
Tristan: *bubble* Yeah, it takes you to a new world *bubble*
Hippy: *bubble* Yeah, ain't smoking out of a bong the greatest?!
Tristan: Yeah *bubble*
Joey: You know what's funny? That someone took the time to make the periodic table of elements, all 112
Hippy: Holy bajeebers! There's 112 now?! You know that is pretty funny!
Joey &Tristan &Hippy: Ha-haha (laughs for a while like stoned people do and for a few minutes of silence except for the random sound of bubbles in a bong)
Joey: Hey a bottle of cyanide!
Hippy: You know? Some health freak once told me to drink cyanide instead of soda. Said it was a whole lot quicker, and they use it in alchohol! Now put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!
Joey: Hmm, okay! ( he puts it in the bong)
Tristan: *bubble* x_x (Tristan died)
Joey: Cool!
Hippy: *bubble* Wow! This is a new high! x_x
Joey: Wow! What to do now? Smoke or.... (an ice cream truck comes by) Ice cream!!
(he chases the truck)
(now with Tea and Seto and Ishizu at the park)
Tea: Hello Seto (she leers at him)
Ishizu: Are you still high?
Kaiba: Hey that's right! I want some!
Ishizu: Of which?
Kaiba: YOU know!
Tea: Advantages of having a human vessels!
Ishizu: What?
Tea: Nothing foolish girl!
Ishizu: huh?
Tea: umm, I mean... shut up you sluttish whore!
Kaiba: are you all right?
Tea: Let's duel!
Kaiba: Serious?
Tea: YES!!
Kaiba: All right....
Ishizu: Hold up! (holds up hand and goes in the big John and comes out in a bikini wit a round 1 sign and people come and watch)
Seto: Are you guys here to watch a duel or a whore?
Crowd: chatter, chatter
Tea: I'll go first! (grabs a duel disc from nowhere looks at her hand) What? Magician of faith, Fairy's gift, and wing weaver, dancing fairy and united we stand? Oh yeah...I am in another duelist, oh well! I summon this in defense mode! and this card faces down!
Seto: All right I summon Battle ox! (the battle ox appears beside Ishizu)
Ishizu: Hold up! (gets down on the ground next to the battle ox with his ax down on the ground and his hand on the top while she acts like she's grabbing his leg for the Conan effect) Take your pictures for $10!
(cameras start flashing)
Kaiba:okay battle ox! Attack!
Tea: I activate Waboku!
Kaiba: ...okay
Tea: My turn I turn fairy's gift to attack mode and use creature swap! (they swap monsters) then I use united we stand on battle ox and summon dancing fairy! Battle ox will attack (atk=3300) then attack you with Dancing fairy! (Tea= 8000, Kaiba= 4400)
Kaiba: Wow, you're a good duelist for your friend claiming to be your ringleader!
Tea: Yugi?
Kaiba: Okay I use curtain of the dark ones to sacrifice half my life points to summon Blue eyes!
Tea: I do too to summon wing weaver! (tea=4000 Kaiba;2200)
Kaiba: okay now-
Ishizu : Hold up! ( gets next to Wing weaverand starts leaning on wing weaver) $15 for these pictures! (obviously they can leave without paying but they do anyhow)
Kaiba: alright... now-
Ishizu: Hold up! ( gets next to the blue Eyes and puts a leash around it and poses) $20!!
Kaiba: Alright... now I attach Ax of despair to blue eyes and attack Battle Ox! (blue eyes dies (Tea:4000, Kaiba:2100) huh?!
Tea: With the curtain of the dark ones summoned another monster so my battle ox gains another 800 attack, you play like a NOVICE!
Seto: don't ever call me a NOVICE!!
Tea: Alright you wanna make a deal? I'll give you my united we stand if I lose but if you lose you give me your blue eyes!
Seto: Not only that I'll give you 3!
Tea: haha what a moron! My turn monster reborn on blue eyes and I kill you!
Seto: What? No Way!
Ishizu: Hold up!
Seto: NO NO! NO MORE HOLD UPS!
Ishizu:... I just counted how much money I just made! $ 1230!!!
Tea: Now I get 3 blue eyes!
Seto: No you don't! I will destroy you first!
(he throws a blue eyes card and Tea catches it)
Tea: Thank you!
Seto: Give it back!( he throws lots of cards and Tea catches them all)
Tea: Ooh! Mystical knight of Jackal, Jinzo, oOoh! Obelisk the Tormentor!
Seto:: *starts sniffling* WAAH!! (runs away)
Ishizu: $25 for those pictures!
Tea: Hold up! ( goes in the big john and comes out in another bikini and goes next to Ishizu) $30! (Ishizu and Tea start posing on each other and everything and the camera's go crazy)
(now Yugi's running in an ally and decides to rest now that the drug lords are out of sight)
Yugi: Huff, huff, wheeze, cough, cough well I hope that's the last of them! Hey there's Serenity! Hey! Serenity!
Serenity: Huh? Who is that? Don't rape the blind!
Yugi: ...images... oh I wasn't going to, this is Yugi!
Serenity: I can't see!
Yugi: Yes you can! See? ( he throws the M-8-ball at Serenity and hits her in the head)
Serenity: Oww! I can't see! I told you!
Yugi: Quit feigning ignorance!
Serenity: Do you know what that means?!
Yugi: No but I heard a hot woman tell that to my grandpa! I'm going to prove you can see! (he throws knives at her head)
Serenity: x_x
Yugi: Wow, I guess now she can't see nor live!
Guy1: There you are freak!
(they start chasing Yugi in a car and Yugi sees Helen)
Yugi: Helen!!
*Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta*
Yugi: x_x (Yugi is killed in a drive by with a machine gun ^-^)
Helen: Freeze! F. B. I.!!! ( she grabs out a gun and shoots the cars tires and they spin and crash and the drug lords got out and started shooting behind the car)
Guy2: You can't get us lady!
Helen: You kidding? I've been chasing you down for years! I know of your dealings in the Egyptian excavation sight!
( the drug lords ( fat, tanned, torn up shirts and jacket) start trying to shoot Helen ( skinny 5'11' DD blonde in an open a skirt on high heels and a partly buttoned shirt! ^-^ (giving images now for the Alias effect, not to mention a gun)
Helen: Give up or I'll have to eliminate you!
Guy1: How do you think you'll get both of us?
Seto : WAAH!! ?... you? what are you doing?
Guy1: Shut up! *Ta-ta-ta-ta*
Seto: x_x (dead of coarse)
Helen: If there were a way to shield myself!... (looks at Yugi and grins) I'm coming for you! (grabs Yugi's body and starts running to get a better shooting spot while Yugi's limp body pops up every time he is hit from a bullet) *BOOM*
Guy2: x_x
*Ta-ta-ta-ta*
Yugi: -_X (eye popped out like Cordery
* BOOM*
Guy1: x_x
Helen: Now I can get a raise!
Tea: Wow! Who are you?
Helen: You don't remember? I'm the lady at Solomon's house. I am really with the F. B. I. not with the domino museum.
Tea: ...okay. Hey I like the way you killed everyone! Especially Yugi!
Helen: I didn't kill him
Tea: Yes you did! Don't ruin my image of you!
Helen: I thought you were friends.
Tea: no
Ishizu: I hear an ice cream truck
(sure enough it's an ice cream truck coming down the street with Joey Running now in front of it)
Joey: Help me! I didn't mean to call you a woman! Or a man!
RuPaul: That was your mistake!!
(Joey gets ran over)
Tea: Poor Joey...Who wants ice cream!?
Helen: ME!!
Ishizu: Hold up! non-fat ice cream sandwiches please! I don't want to get fat!
Tea: Remember, this is anime...nobody's gonna draw us fat!
Ishizu: You're right! Hold up! where's all the money I made?
Tea: Ughnn I was going to buy you ice cream with it!
Ishizu: Hold up! ...That sounds fair enough to me!
RuPaul: So what will it be, baby?
Bakura: Hey! I love Ice cream! although I've lost the use of my left arm...
(explanation the millennium ring saved Bakura )
Tea: Well how about something else that's sweet!
( Tea (remember the spirit of the millennium ring used to be inside Bakura) Grabs
Bakura and viciously starts making out with him)
Helen: All's well that end's well
Rupaul: Especially with RuPaul here, Baby!
Helen:... and new lovers meet but what happened to the other characters of this fic?
ANS: LALALALALA!!!!
DC: GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!
Grandpa: NO NO!!! P-Please Helen! Untie me! I can't watch this!!
T.V.: Teletubbies, Tellitubbies, say-hell-O!
teletubbies: Hello!
Helen: I have taken advanced drama classes so I guess you readers weren't expecting this... I was at the nursing home! (she holds up the dark magician card)
THE END
Joey: Yugi! What's wrong?
Yugi: My deck was robbed from me!
Tea: What happened?
Yugi: Well...
(In the past)
Yugi: Grandpa needs more drugs! I need to hurry!
(A gangsta dude comes up)
Gangsta: I'z a hear you lookin' for drugs dawg.
Yugi: Not that kind!
Gangsta: Buy some or die!
Yugi: No! I refuse!
Gangsta: Fine!
(Grabs his deck and runs off)
Yugi: NOO!
(Back to reality)
Tea: Is it abnormal if we actually see this?
Joey: How could he of just take your deck?
Yugi: Ummm, well
Tea: Tell me the truth! Weren't you supposed to be visiting the elderly?
Yugi: Ummm...
Tea: *gasp* Did you trade your deck for Jell-O?!
Yugi: NO!...an old lady distracted me with Jell-O and once I turned around I turned around and...and, AND MY DECK WAS GONE!!
Tea: What was SO appealing about the Jell-O?
Yugi: There were 31 flavors!
Joey: That's ice cream.
Yugi: SHUT UP!! okay so it was an exaggeration, but there were lots of pretty colors! pink, red, purple, bwue...gween....orange...
Tea: Snap out of it!
Yugi: ...what am I going to do?!
Joey: Go steal it back!
Yugi: Hey! I have an idea! Let's go on a run of petty senseless vandalism!?
Tea: Yugi, do you really think...
Joey: SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!
Tea: Oh boy...
Joey: Come on, Tea, let's do it! Of course I mean going on an escapade!
Tea: No.
Joey: I'll have to hypnotize you if you don't.
Tea: I don't believe in those things.
Joey: (grabs a pendulum) you will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: Pu-lease! Stop it! It's never gonna work!
Joey: You will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: I might!
Joey: You will join us in our time of crime, which is fine, and if you don't, I'll continue this rhyme!
Tea: OKAY! OKAY! FI~NE!!!
Joey: Yeah that's right!
Yugi: First, let's go and make the Chess Club's life a living hell!
Tea: Um... no.
Joey: Let's go steal from the Dollar Shop!
Yugi & Tea: No.
Yugi: Teepee a house!
Tea: You know, why don't we add putting bologna on a car to our stupid list!
Yugi: ...hey!
Joey: That ain't a bad idea!
Tea: You can't be serious.
Yugi: I bet Grandpa has a freezer chest full of them!
Joey: Well what are we waiting for? Let's scram!
Tea: ...
Joey: What's wrong?
Tea: Why am I doing this again?
Joey: You will join us in our ti--
Tea: Alright, shut up! DAMN!
Yugi: *gasps* Now this is VERY PG-13!
Tea: Grow up!
Yugi: Say darn!
Tea: Shut up, you damn brat! *slap*
Joey: Wow! You actually slapped him!
Yugi: (holding his cheek) damn...
Tea: Hypocrite!
Yugi: Am not!...
(later at Grandpa's house)
Yugi: Grandpa I'm home! grandpa? Where are you?
(a woman comes from the halls)
Woman: Who are you?
Yugi: I'm Yugi Motto and I'm Solomon Motto's grandson!
Woman: Can you say M.O.T.O ?
Joey: what?
Woman: Master of the obvious. Mr. Motto is not here at the moment
Tea: Who are you?
Woman: I work for the Domino Museum, I am here about Mr. Motto's excavation in Egypt
Yugi: What for?
Woman: Because... I still didn't get a written or oral conc--
Joey: heh-heh!
Woman: Are you on drugs?
Joey: I'm so baked right now even I don't know!
Woman: Anyway I need a conclusion from all the participants in the excavation and what they did, etc. and he still owes me something for a bet we made.
Tea: What's your name?
Woman: Helen.
Grandpa: I'm home...who are you?
Helen: Don't feign ignorance on me you senile old fart! You've been avoiding me haven't you?!
Grandpa: Oh yeah! You're that bimbo at the excavation site in Egypt!
Helen: !!!
Grandpa: What do you want? Or is it what I want!?
Tea: Mr. Motto...that's disgusting...
Joey: Whoo! Giant Hamsta's
Tea: Those are Koriboh on a poster moron!
Helen: You need to give me the conclusion and WHERE'S MY MAGIC 8-BALL!!?
Grandpa: Do you want me to chain you to the bed?
Helen: YOU SICK CONTAMINATED FERRET!
Grandpa: Oh, now I remember that bet! I don't have the magic 8-ball anymore.
Helen: What did you do?
Grandpa: Oh, I gave it away.
Helen: Never mind... I still need a conclusion about the cave-in as well
Grandpa: I'll mail one to you, where do you live?
Helen: Oh no! Look mister, I'm 28 and you're, what, 80?!
Grandpa: I'm as active as a kid of 17!
Helen: N'yeah, u-huh. Touch your toes!
Grandpa: (attempts to and then a loud crack is heard) Oh! My back, my back, bloody hell!
Helen: I'll come back next week!
(she leaves)
Yugi:...is that the same magic 8-ball I have?
Grandpa: Yep.
Yugi: Do you have bologna in the chest freezer?
Grandpa: yep.
Yugi: Thanks! (tea, Joey and Yugi grab lots of bologna and leave)
Grandpa: Hey!...help?...
(somewhere in town)
Joey: I get all the black cars!
Yugi: No fair!
Tea: I'll take a rusted pile of crap
Joey: Hey a black limo! Hey guys, help me out!
(they all go put bologna on the limo (oh F.Y.I. bologna that sits on a car takes off the
paint))
Yugi: Alright! Now lets hide and see who owns the limo!
Tea: I feel awful
Joey: Don't worry! Whoever owns this should have enough money for 2 of these!
Tea: That's supposed to make me feel better?
Joey: Hey! We're helping the dealerships and paint sprayers here!
(Seto comes out of the building with Ishizu
Ishizu: So how about tomorrow? Or better yet in an hour!
Seto: That wasn't good enough to hold you off for that long?
Joey: *whisper, whisper*somebody got lucky!
Tea: *loudly whispering* No! I wanted Seto! Stupid bitch!
Yugi: But I thought--
Tea: *whisper, whisper* Yeah you thought! I would never with you!
Yugi: Aww..
Seto: My limo! What happened to my limo?!
Tea, Yugi & Joey: O-o...
Seto: Whoever did this wasted a lot of perfectly good Oscar Meyer Bologna!
Yugi: *quietly singing* Oh, I wanna be an Oscar Meyer Weiner!
Tea: Shut up! You sing like a 5-year-old was just hit by a car!
Yugi: Hey...
Seto: Hey new guy! Take all these pieces of bologna off!
NG: At least you could remember my name sir.
Seto: Shut up! I don't wanna!
Ishizu: Hey! You could make your limo look like a Dalmatian!
Seto:...that's with black spots, not black with rust spots
Ishizu: oh.
Joey: Hey you guys! Let's go!
(they go)
Yugi: Hey! There's the chess club!
Joey: Let's through our rotten bologna at them!
Yugi: Okay... Hey there's Bakura!
( Bakura's playing chess)
Bakura: Checkmate. I'll play 2 more games I suppose.
Yugi: Hey Bakura! Why are you playing chess? Chess is for nerds!
Bakura: Well as you know, I suppose, I am British and all British chaps play chess, I suppose.
Tea: Are you winning?
Bakura: Never lost since I got my millennium ring, I suppose.
Yugi: Oh, ok... We'll be leaving now *whisper* Nerd!
Bakura: You know I'm not deaf, I suppose.
Joey: You've said 'I suppose' let's see...umm 1, 2, 3, 4...8...5, 5 times!
Bakura:...next time allow me to count how many times you say 'Pizza' when we're at lunch.
Joey: That's different wise guy!
Yugi: Let's leave before we kill each other.
(they walk just around the corner and see a box of firecrackers)
Joey: CHINESE FIREWORKS!!
Yugi: Yeah! (looks at chess club) Hee!
Tea: Don't!
Yugi: I do it!
Tea: No!
Yugi: Joey and I gonna do it!
Joey: FIRE IN THE HOLE! ( he throws some of the firecrackers at the chess club and...*BOOM*)
Tea: Bakura!! ( she runs up to Bakura's side and picks up his head) Are you okay?!
Bakura: I'm fine, I suppose... but... IT SURE DAMN HURTS!!!...I suppose...(he faints)
Tea: Bakura!... huh? (notices the millennium ring)hmm.. (she takes it and puts it on)
Tea: hmm? (notices self) Aah! What happened? (notices Bakura)? I'm in another body?...a female body?...! ( Yes it's the spirit of the millennium ring) this could be very interesting)
Yugi: Hey Tea!
( Tea stuffs the ring in her shirt)
Yugi: We need to go do some more crime!
Tea: You're committing crimes? You!?
Yugi:...yeah...and you are supposed to be helping us remember?
Tea: So what are we going to do now?
Yugi: I don't know.
Tea: How about wrecking a huge store?
Yugi: Which one?
Joey: Hey look at the TV. over there the news!
Yugi: Oh goody, I bet it's one of those high-speed chases!
(on the TV. with a male and female anchorman)
Female: Hi! I'm Anna Nicole Smith!
Male: And I'm 'Unspeakable'!
ANS: No, your Dave Copperfield and I'm famous!
DC: No I'm speaking of the song 'Unspeakable'! Ace of Base is coming back! After making the people of America so damn miserable for not releasing the Da Capo album they will instead perform live in Lee's Summit, MO and sing everyone of their songs!
ANS: Yu know? I can sing too! ah~em!
DC: NO!!!! Let's go on to other breaking news
ANS: A convicted felon and drug dealer from Columbia has escaped from prison. Here's a short clip of him last month before he was put in the slammer!
(goes to clip)
Reporter: Mister? Are you aware of all the dangers of your drugs?
C-man: No. Drugs good They do no harm. Drugs not responsible for death of millions. They probably ate bad McDonalds food.
Yugi: Those Mc Griddles are starting a rebellion in my stomach
Joey: You ate at McDonald's?
(Yugi nods)
Joey: HAHAHA!!
reporter: What are your last words as a man outside of bars?
C-man: Yo you mother *BEEP* pizza' white *BEEP* trash! You ain't gonna live another *BEEP* day once I get out of this *BEEP* *BEEP* hell-hold you lil'*BEEP* bag you uncle *BEEP* pizza' ass-wipe! and tell that mother *BEEP* whore you call a wife that there ain't gonna be *BEEP* of your body when the *shock* OWW!!
Reporter: That's all we need of you! God you must be hopped up on something!
ANS: He is lose, like me, tonight and has been for 4 days and hates it when people can't remember his name...umm...what was his name again?
DC: It's *static*
Joey: Why'd the TV. go out?
Tea: Hey let's go steal something!
Joey: Now your okay with it?
Tea: Hey I can get into this!
Yugi: Let's walk around town and look at stores
(they walk for a while)
Yugi: Hey Tea, how abo~ (turns around to notice she's groping herself) What are you doing?
Tea: Hmm? Oh this? I don't know why other girls yell when someone tries to grope them...it feels so damn good!
Yugi: Then can I
Tea: No!
Yugi: But you just said.
Tea: So?
Yugi: You're being very mean today, you know it's bad for people to be mean to the protagonist of the story
Tea: If you don't stop talking I am going to bitch slap you!
Yugi: I'll be good...
Joey: I never noticed how big your 2-funbits were!
Tea: You can't have them (and I can!)
(Yugi grabs the magic 8-ball)
Yugi: Will Tea and I ever *shake*
M8ball: only in your perverted dreams
Joey: Wow! I didn't know that was an answer!
Tea: Hey look! The 'Neighborhood Cafe' would be the perfect place to trash! They put pepper in my cottage cheese when I told them I was allergic to pepper!
Yugi: I didn't know you were allergic? I knew Bakura is but not you.
Tea: *anime sweat* umm, yeah!
(inside the cafe)
Tristan: I'm so glad we could be together today
Serenity: Yeah! this is so nice!...where's my pancakes?
Tristan: Aww...coffee can't start a day without it!
(they get their food)
Tristan: Aww it's hot!!
(Joey, Yugi, and Tea come in)
Yugi: (Gazes at food) food...
Tea: (grabs a plate from a table)... FOOD FIGHT!! (she throws the food in Tristan's face who throws his cup of coffee up in Serenity's eyes)
Serenity: MY EYES!! GOSH DARN IT!!
(everybody starts throwing food)
Joey: Ooh! Crepes!! *splat* Hey! pancakes with sticky syrup ruin my hair!
(Seto and Ishizu are outside)
Ishizu: What's going on here?
Seto: Damn! What's another place we can go?
Ishizu: hold on ( she uses her millennium necklace and everybody calms down)
Joey: wo~o~o!
Customers: a~a~h!
Seto: What did you do?
Ishizu: New power...makes everyone instantly high! I call it shadow dust.
Seto: Hey let me have some of that!
Ishizu: Not now.
Tea: A~hh I remember this! the buzz!
Serenity: A~ah...I don't know if I should be happy or ticked of!... Ice! Ice could help! ( grabs an ice cube, puts it up on her eyes and scratches one with the edge) AAH DARN IT!!
Tristan: Wow you know? You have huge hands Tea!
Tea: Wow, your right! I could be a boxer!
Yugi: I can too~!
Tea: These are so huge! Hey Yugi *bam* See!? I can be a boxer!
Yugi: @ _ @
Tea: Wimp! Hey! my toes are so tiny! They're tiny like a horse! Oh, horses are so funny, standing on those tiny feet, neigh, and neigh! ( crawls out of the building on all 4's neighing)
Joey: ...where are all my bright ideas?
Tristan: There it is! It's running away!
Joey: Come back good idea!
Tristan: Yeah, come back! ( they leave chasing nothing)
Yugi: @ _ @
Seto: Can we get an omelets, some toast
Ishizu: and peanut butter!
Seto: and some hot sauce!
Ishizu: Bell Peppers!
Seto: With Taffy!
Ishizu: And spaghetti!!
Seto:...and some milk of magnesia
waiter:...what happened?
Seto: Hey! Were you not listening?
Waiter: I feel weird, I don't remember what I'm supposed to do.
Seto:...let's leave.
Yugi:@ _ @
Ishizu: all right
Yugi: @ _ @... (comes to) where'd everyone go? *shake*
M8ball: away from you
Yugi: Wait for me! (Yugi runs out of the building while Serenity flails around on the ground)
Serenity: Help me! (Yugi runs into another building)
Yugi: Hello? Hell- (notices people on the room)
Guy1: Seto finally shutted up! And he won't remember my name!
(Yes it's Seto's new Limo driver)
Guy2: Well did you get the stuff?
Guy1: Yes here amigo
Guy2: Gracious
Yugi: Oh no! It's Columbian drug lords!
(the drug lords look at Yugi)
Yugi: Oh-oh... what should I do now? *shakes M-8ball*
M-8ball: you're screwed
Yugi:???...! Oh no! Ahh! (runs away)
Guy1: You ain't getting away freak! (they chase Yugi)
Serenity: Yugi? Are you here? (starts feeling around) Wow! an Icepack@ (breaks the bag open and gets cocaine in her eyes) NOT AN ICEPACK!!
( Now with Joey and Tristan)
Joey: Come back...umm, what were we chasing?
Tristan: Mariah Carey! Didn't you see her?!
Joey: Really? Oh my god, it's Mariah!!
(they start running screaming like little girls)
Joey: Umm... what were we chasing again?
Tristan: You have the attention span of a numbing bird
Joey: Did you just say...numbing bird?
Tristan: Yes, yes I did!
Joey & Tristan: Aha, ha, aha, ahahaha!
Joey: Why are we laughing?
Tristan: Yo! It's a hippy! ( they go to the hippy)
(now with Tea)
Tea: Ooh, I never knew how fun clouds could be!
Man: Umm, miss? You're at carnival...and that's cotton candy
Tea: Carnival? Oh! I thought it smelt like cabbage!
Man: Would you like some cotton candy?
Tea: No, I wanna touch it!
Man: For $5
Tea: Okay (gives money) Ooh! It feels sticky! *lick finger* and it's sweet too!
Man: Where are you from?
Tea: The shadow realm (walks off)
Man: ???
(back to Joey & Tristan... and the hippy)
Joey: Yeah this is great *bubble*
Tristan: *bubble* Yeah, it takes you to a new world *bubble*
Hippy: *bubble* Yeah, ain't smoking out of a bong the greatest?!
Tristan: Yeah *bubble*
Joey: You know what's funny? That someone took the time to make the periodic table of elements, all 112
Hippy: Holy bajeebers! There's 112 now?! You know that is pretty funny!
Joey &Tristan &Hippy: Ha-haha (laughs for a while like stoned people do and for a few minutes of silence except for the random sound of bubbles in a bong)
Joey: Hey a bottle of cyanide!
Hippy: You know? Some health freak once told me to drink cyanide instead of soda. Said it was a whole lot quicker, and they use it in alchohol! Now put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!
Joey: Hmm, okay! ( he puts it in the bong)
Tristan: *bubble* x_x (Tristan died)
Joey: Cool!
Hippy: *bubble* Wow! This is a new high! x_x
Joey: Wow! What to do now? Smoke or.... (an ice cream truck comes by) Ice cream!!
(he chases the truck)
(now with Tea and Seto and Ishizu at the park)
Tea: Hello Seto (she leers at him)
Ishizu: Are you still high?
Kaiba: Hey that's right! I want some!
Ishizu: Of which?
Kaiba: YOU know!
Tea: Advantages of having a human vessels!
Ishizu: What?
Tea: Nothing foolish girl!
Ishizu: huh?
Tea: umm, I mean... shut up you sluttish whore!
Kaiba: are you all right?
Tea: Let's duel!
Kaiba: Serious?
Tea: YES!!
Kaiba: All right....
Ishizu: Hold up! (holds up hand and goes in the big John and comes out in a bikini wit a round 1 sign and people come and watch)
Seto: Are you guys here to watch a duel or a whore?
Crowd: chatter, chatter
Tea: I'll go first! (grabs a duel disc from nowhere looks at her hand) What? Magician of faith, Fairy's gift, and wing weaver, dancing fairy and united we stand? Oh yeah...I am in another duelist, oh well! I summon this in defense mode! and this card faces down!
Seto: All right I summon Battle ox! (the battle ox appears beside Ishizu)
Ishizu: Hold up! (gets down on the ground next to the battle ox with his ax down on the ground and his hand on the top while she acts like she's grabbing his leg for the Conan effect) Take your pictures for $10!
(cameras start flashing)
Kaiba:okay battle ox! Attack!
Tea: I activate Waboku!
Kaiba: ...okay
Tea: My turn I turn fairy's gift to attack mode and use creature swap! (they swap monsters) then I use united we stand on battle ox and summon dancing fairy! Battle ox will attack (atk=3300) then attack you with Dancing fairy! (Tea= 8000, Kaiba= 4400)
Kaiba: Wow, you're a good duelist for your friend claiming to be your ringleader!
Tea: Yugi?
Kaiba: Okay I use curtain of the dark ones to sacrifice half my life points to summon Blue eyes!
Tea: I do too to summon wing weaver! (tea=4000 Kaiba;2200)
Kaiba: okay now-
Ishizu : Hold up! ( gets next to Wing weaverand starts leaning on wing weaver) $15 for these pictures! (obviously they can leave without paying but they do anyhow)
Kaiba: alright... now-
Ishizu: Hold up! ( gets next to the blue Eyes and puts a leash around it and poses) $20!!
Kaiba: Alright... now I attach Ax of despair to blue eyes and attack Battle Ox! (blue eyes dies (Tea:4000, Kaiba:2100) huh?!
Tea: With the curtain of the dark ones summoned another monster so my battle ox gains another 800 attack, you play like a NOVICE!
Seto: don't ever call me a NOVICE!!
Tea: Alright you wanna make a deal? I'll give you my united we stand if I lose but if you lose you give me your blue eyes!
Seto: Not only that I'll give you 3!
Tea: haha what a moron! My turn monster reborn on blue eyes and I kill you!
Seto: What? No Way!
Ishizu: Hold up!
Seto: NO NO! NO MORE HOLD UPS!
Ishizu:... I just counted how much money I just made! $ 1230!!!
Tea: Now I get 3 blue eyes!
Seto: No you don't! I will destroy you first!
(he throws a blue eyes card and Tea catches it)
Tea: Thank you!
Seto: Give it back!( he throws lots of cards and Tea catches them all)
Tea: Ooh! Mystical knight of Jackal, Jinzo, oOoh! Obelisk the Tormentor!
Seto:: *starts sniffling* WAAH!! (runs away)
Ishizu: $25 for those pictures!
Tea: Hold up! ( goes in the big john and comes out in another bikini and goes next to Ishizu) $30! (Ishizu and Tea start posing on each other and everything and the camera's go crazy)
(now Yugi's running in an ally and decides to rest now that the drug lords are out of sight)
Yugi: Huff, huff, wheeze, cough, cough well I hope that's the last of them! Hey there's Serenity! Hey! Serenity!
Serenity: Huh? Who is that? Don't rape the blind!
Yugi: ...images... oh I wasn't going to, this is Yugi!
Serenity: I can't see!
Yugi: Yes you can! See? ( he throws the M-8-ball at Serenity and hits her in the head)
Serenity: Oww! I can't see! I told you!
Yugi: Quit feigning ignorance!
Serenity: Do you know what that means?!
Yugi: No but I heard a hot woman tell that to my grandpa! I'm going to prove you can see! (he throws knives at her head)
Serenity: x_x
Yugi: Wow, I guess now she can't see nor live!
Guy1: There you are freak!
(they start chasing Yugi in a car and Yugi sees Helen)
Yugi: Helen!!
*Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta*
Yugi: x_x (Yugi is killed in a drive by with a machine gun ^-^)
Helen: Freeze! F. B. I.!!! ( she grabs out a gun and shoots the cars tires and they spin and crash and the drug lords got out and started shooting behind the car)
Guy2: You can't get us lady!
Helen: You kidding? I've been chasing you down for years! I know of your dealings in the Egyptian excavation sight!
( the drug lords ( fat, tanned, torn up shirts and jacket) start trying to shoot Helen ( skinny 5'11' DD blonde in an open a skirt on high heels and a partly buttoned shirt! ^-^ (giving images now for the Alias effect, not to mention a gun)
Helen: Give up or I'll have to eliminate you!
Guy1: How do you think you'll get both of us?
Seto : WAAH!! ?... you? what are you doing?
Guy1: Shut up! *Ta-ta-ta-ta*
Seto: x_x (dead of coarse)
Helen: If there were a way to shield myself!... (looks at Yugi and grins) I'm coming for you! (grabs Yugi's body and starts running to get a better shooting spot while Yugi's limp body pops up every time he is hit from a bullet) *BOOM*
Guy2: x_x
*Ta-ta-ta-ta*
Yugi: -_X (eye popped out like Cordery
* BOOM*
Guy1: x_x
Helen: Now I can get a raise!
Tea: Wow! Who are you?
Helen: You don't remember? I'm the lady at Solomon's house. I am really with the F. B. I. not with the domino museum.
Tea: ...okay. Hey I like the way you killed everyone! Especially Yugi!
Helen: I didn't kill him
Tea: Yes you did! Don't ruin my image of you!
Helen: I thought you were friends.
Tea: no
Ishizu: I hear an ice cream truck
(sure enough it's an ice cream truck coming down the street with Joey Running now in front of it)
Joey: Help me! I didn't mean to call you a woman! Or a man!
RuPaul: That was your mistake!!
(Joey gets ran over)
Tea: Poor Joey...Who wants ice cream!?
Helen: ME!!
Ishizu: Hold up! non-fat ice cream sandwiches please! I don't want to get fat!
Tea: Remember, this is anime...nobody's gonna draw us fat!
Ishizu: You're right! Hold up! where's all the money I made?
Tea: Ughnn I was going to buy you ice cream with it!
Ishizu: Hold up! ...That sounds fair enough to me!
RuPaul: So what will it be, baby?
Bakura: Hey! I love Ice cream! although I've lost the use of my left arm...
(explanation the millennium ring saved Bakura )
Tea: Well how about something else that's sweet!
( Tea (remember the spirit of the millennium ring used to be inside Bakura) Grabs
Bakura and viciously starts making out with him)
Helen: All's well that end's well
Rupaul: Especially with RuPaul here, Baby!
Helen:... and new lovers meet but what happened to the other characters of this fic?
ANS: LALALALALA!!!!
DC: GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!
Grandpa: NO NO!!! P-Please Helen! Untie me! I can't watch this!!
T.V.: Teletubbies, Tellitubbies, say-hell-O!
teletubbies: Hello!
Helen: I have taken advanced drama classes so I guess you readers weren't expecting this... I was at the nursing home! (she holds up the dark magician card)
THE END