Eternal in Memory

by Sissi

[AUIKS] He fell in love with her when he was only a child, but their love was impossible. An entire century separated them, along with death itself.

Eternal in Time

By: Sissi

Disclaimer: IY is not mine.

One-shot

The sun set is considered by many as one of the most beautiful sights a man has ever witnessed. I must say that I agree partially to them, for I have met even more beautiful things in my life. People usually wonder what it could be and after thinking for a moment, they grin mischieviously and ask me if it is a girl.

I know I usually turn my head away, because I know I am blushing like hell. They smile and tease me for an endless moment, until I can't take it anymore and leave them with their silly talks. I am being childish, I am well aware of this, but I can't help it. I am a very lonely man, and have almost never needed anyone, until I met her. She offered me a dry place when I was soaked to the bones, and I mean it, literally. I was trembling due to my wet clothes, and staying with her, watching the raindrops fall from the grey sky was and still is impossible for me to describe it minuciously. It is imprimted in my heart for ever.

She was my first and only love, but I must warn you that our love was impossible, because it was a one-sided love and there were other issues that I will tell you as our train continues to travel through the mountains until it reaches its destiny. Until then, just sit and enjoy or pity my story. I don't care; it's been a long time since I last talked about her, Hell, this could be the first time I am talking about her.

Where should I begin?

From the beginning, of course.

I met her when I was only six or seven years old. I can't remember everything from my childhood, for you know, when one is a child, the past is so blurry one can't even remember one's favourite colour, though I am a lucky guy and still remember that it was dark blue. Strange, now, my favourite colour is grey. Time seems to change people, and I am no exception.

Continuing with the story, though. I was at home, savouring the rainy day for it reflected my sad mood. My mother had fallen ill, and my father had been absent for two long months. Whenever he returned home, it was late at night, and my baby-sitter would order me to go to bed, so I never saw him for those long months. I could almost swear he had died as well, but I knew he had not, because I would sneak into his bedroom and find clothes scattered around the floor. The maid would arrive some time later, to clean the house which smelled like despair.

I was watching the raindrops lash against the window when I heard the front door being opened with a key. I turned my head and caught my breath. I had missed my father very much, and the hope to see my mother arriving home with him was so unbearable that I could feel my tiny heart beat wildly in my chest. I widened my eyes expectantly.

The door opened and a man wearing a long dark coat entered, placing a rain-dripping umbrella near the door. He took off his shoes and walked like a zombie to the kitchen. He didn't even look at my direction during his actions, as if his mind were somewhere else. I followed him with my steady gaze, though I am not sure it was steady. My eyesight was getting blurrier as time went on, until I stood up and walked to the kitchen as well.

He looked at me then. His face was tear-stained and my heart broke at that moment. He bit his lip and tried to approach me, hands outstretched, trying to comfort me when he needed comfort as well. I stepped back and shook my head with force.

I turned and left that house, feeling like my head would explode with the intensity of my feelings. My father yelled at me, calling me back, but the rain dulled his voice till I could not hear him anymore. I ran through the rain, barely noticing where I was going, not until I found myself in the cemetery. I bit my lower lip and trembled. I don't know if it was because I was cold or there was another deeper meaning to it. All I knew was that I felt very alone at that moment, and if someone were to hug me, I would have accepted the action thankfully.

Until then, I had never felt lonely, not with my mother beside me. She was my best friend and loved me very much. The other children would find this strange, and due to it, I did not approach them, for I felt like an outcast, but it didn't matter to me that much, as long as I had my mom with me.

I loved my father. He was kind and generous, and loved me as well. However, there wasn't the same bond between him and me as there was between my mother and me. We cared for each other, but would I have reacted the same way were he to die at this very moment?

I don't know.

I shivered under the rain, hugging my small body , trying to find some sort of warmth within me. I turned my head everywhere, trying to seek for a dry place where I could stay until the rain stopped. As I scanned the cemetery, I noticed the form of a person not too far away. He or she stood still for a very long moment and closing my eyes just to be sure that I was not hallucinating, I walked to this person.

I lifted my face and stared at her. She had her eyes opened and arms lifted near her chest, clasped together in a praying position. She had her eyes opened even during her praying. I scooted closer and noticed how tall she was. She was probably a fourteen-year-old girl, I thought. I read the scription near her feet.

Kagome Higurashi. An angel from God who blessed us with short yet merry years.

I lifted my face again, and stared at her face. She was a statue made of white stone, not exactly white, it was kind of yellowish, but she was beautiful nonetheless. She had long hair and a heart-shaped face. Her big eyes were caring and somehow, I felt warmth filling my heart. I traced the scription with one shaky finger and wondered why God wanted her with Him.

He wanted my mom as well.

He has my mom as well.

I felt my eyes sting, and closed them quickly,. It didn't matter if I cried, did it? Nobody would be crazy enough to be here, in the rain, and besides, they would not know if it was the rain or my tears that were marring my face. Both were, as a matter of fact.

I walked to the grave of this girl and waited there until the rain stopped. The grave was in the form of a small house, made of stone as well, and I felt well there. Her father must have loved her very much to have built something as magnificent as this, along with a statue of her. I wondered then if she had looked exactly as the sculpture showed her to be. I would have liked to have met her.

My heart pounded heavily in my chest. I knew I was probably sick, or even worse, got a pneumonia with my harsh actions, but I didn't care. My mother was gone. My best friend, my mother was gone. God couldn't have been more cruel than this, could He?

I hugged myself and started to cry. The sound of my sobs and wails was dulled by the rain and I was thankful for this. I would be able to mourn my mother's death. The only witness would be Kagome, but I didn't care if she listened to my crying. Somehow, I trusted her with my feelings. She would never betray me.

My father found me some hours later, when I was sound asleep. He took me gently to home and tucked me in my bed. He kissed me on the forehead, for I remember feeling something gentle touching me there, though I didn't know at the time what it was. Now I do.

We mourned for mom's death for many months until he had to go back to work. Adult's life is so strange, isn't it? One can't stay at home as long as one wants, mourning for the loss of a dear person. No, one has to work unless one wants to die of hunger. I shrug.

I visited Kagome quite often since our meeting. I would watch her while sitting on a bench near her, trying to discover how she died or what she felt like when she was alive. I would bring some flowers to her, and set them near her feet. I usually brought her wild flowers, for I had no money. I would simply go to the forest and get her some nice colourful flowers which I knew she would like. I stayed there, in her company, for hours, and I would not tire myself. Odd, isn't it?

Once, I was tempted to touch her face. I walked to her side and had to climb her because she much taller than me. I stayed there, hanging dangerously, but still, I wanted to touch her face. I lifted one arm and traced my fingers on her cheek, until they rested on her jaw. Yes, she was beautiful, and I felt my heart lurch for some reason. I fell then. I touched the soil, hard, and stayed there, paralysed due to the pain. I stared at the blue sky, wishing the pain would fade away. It did, long moments later, but I didn't regret my actions.

I had touched her for the first time.

I kept visiting her in the afternoons, after class. I would pack my books as quickly as possible and run to the cemetery. I would throw my schoolbag on the floor and kiss her on the cheek. Yes, some years later, I grew up until I reached her height. I would kiss and sit on the bench, telling her about my day, about my frustrations and hope. And my wishes as well.

One night, as I sat there, talking to her, I saw a shooting star. Do you know the story that says when you see a shooting star, you should wish upon it and your wish will come true? Well, I believed in it and closed my eyes and whispered to the wind my wish. I had wished to see her alive.

You must think my wish has never come true. I would agree with you, if not for the fact that it did. No, I don't mean the statue started to move and suddenly, she was made of flesh and bones. It would never happen. What I meant is that I saw her when she was alive. Do you understand me?

Well, to make things clear, one day, as I talked to Kagome, an old woman, about in her seventies, approached me and stared weirdly at me, until she smiled and shook her head. She placed nice yellow roses on Kagome's feet and turned to me. Her voice was hoarse and I didn't understand her at first, for she was mumbling slightly and the words would mix together, but I did once I got used to her voice. Her name was Kaede and she was Kagome's older sister.

I was shocked by then. She was my Kagome's sister? I stared at her in awe and she laughed good-naturedly. She sat beside me and asked me if I wanted to see a photograph of her and Kagome together when they were small. I nodded numbly, feeling my blood freeze in my veins.

She opened her wallet and took out an aged photograph, with some wrinkles in the edges. She gave it to me and I eyed it with eyes full of tears.

Kagome was beautiful, and she was exactly as the statue. The only differece was the eyes and her mouth. She was smiling, hugging her older sister and winking at the person who was taking a shot at them. Probably her father. I touched her face and a single tear fell onto the photo and I quickly wiped it away. I would not mar this treasure.

She continued telling me about her sister, how lively and caring she was, and how fragile she was as well. She had gone camping once and fallen ill when she returned home. The doctors said she had pneumonia and since she had a fragile health, they could not garantee she would recover. And she didn't.

Their father had been inconsolated when his small angel had died, and to remember her, he asked someone to build her statue and her special grave, so he could stay hours contemplating his lost angel. He died four years later when Kagome died. Of despair, perhaps? Kaede did not know.

I gave the photo back to her and she nodded. I think she understood what I felt for her dead sister. She sighed and mentioned that Kagome's eyes were striking and that it was a pity that, at that time, the photographs were all black and white. She told me that Kagome had dark blue eyes with small tinges of grey. If you stared long enough at her eyes, you would see the sea during a storm.

She placed the photo in her wallet and stood up. She bid me goodbye and left the cemetery, telling me to take good care of her sister. I nodded and watched as she disappeared behind the grave of another person. I looked back at Kagome, especially at her eyes.

I wanted to see the colour of her eyes, but the fact that I knew what it was like was already enough. At least, for the moment.

Some years later, when I was seventeen, father married again. He married a young woman with long black hair and striking green eyes. She was a nice woman but she wasn't my mother, and because of this, I couldn't make myself like her. I started to hate my father because he was marring my mother's image and it was intolerable to me.

The last straw was when he announced to me that we were moving to another country. I blanched. We were going to live somewhere else, and that meant I would not see Kagome anymore. I clenched my fists and shouted at my father, telling him that he was being egotistic and to forget that I was his son.

I know, I was being too harsh, but I was seventeen, and my hormones were controlling my body. I was seeing red, and I broke the table by throwing it against the wall. Father had looked terrified, watching me with wide eyes and trembling body. I had growled at him and left that house.

I arrived at the cemetery and hugged Kagome. She always gave me safety and warmth whenever I needed it and that moment was no exception. I told her my situation and all my anger, and staring at her serene face, eyes showing such calmness and understanding, I planted my lips on hers.

It was my first kiss.

It was a gentle kiss, not like  the ones you see on the movies, with all that fire and desire. No, our kiss was chaste, gentle and light, just like a white feather touching the skin. I had opened my eyes smiled at her. It was our first kiss. I hugged her again and returned home, calmer. I apologized to my father later that night.

We moved to another country some days later. It seemed like my father was too eager to leave that city, that country, and I can only wonder why. I had looked sadly at the city one last time, and remembered the kiss. I guess it was our first and our last. I wish I had bid her goodbye, but I didn't, for my father kept me busy doing chores. Did he know about my relationship with Kagome?

Or perhaps he was afraid I was still mourning for mother's death? After all, I have always been the quiet type, never inviting friends over the night. Kagome was all I needed, and I think he noticed this. I now see that all he wanted was the best for me, but at that time, I was still a little mad at him. Now, I think I should thank him, though my love towards Kagome has not melted away.

I watched the city shrinking as the vehicle we were in started to reach its destination: the airport. Although I knew I would be far away from her, my heart was connected to hers. I would see her again, I had promised myself this.

And now, here I am, in this train, traveling to my childhood city. To see her. I can't wait to see her eyes, her serene face, to see her entirely. It's been so long...

I close the book that had been lying on my lap. It's high time the train reached its destiny.

The train stops and the passengers stand up and  leave one by one. I take my suitcases with me and call a cab. It stops right in front of me and I open the door. I tell the old man who is smiling like mad the hotel I am going to stay in.

I arrive there fifteen minutes later. The people are nice and polite, just as I remember them to be, though the faces are different. They are younger. This is the new generation, and yet, I still feel the same old aura the old generation used to have. I know the future is safe with these youngsters. They still possess that hope that goodness I've always seeked in my entire life, for I am no angel.

I enter my room and unpack my suitcases. I choose a pair of informal dark blue plants and a green shirt. I head to the bathroom, my heart pounding in my ears. My fingers tremble as I fumble with the buttons.

I want this meeting to be special.

I finish my shower and dress up. I use some cologne and comb my long hair. I look at myself in the mirror, and  notice that my eyes are shining more than they used to. It's all because of her. How can someone say that love is a bad thing when it changes you to the better? I don't know. For me, love is always good. It may bring grief, but it is worth it.

I leave the hotel and start walking in the direction of her abode. I have memorized the path since I was small, and within some minutes, I reach the cemetery. Nothing has been replaced. Nothing has changed at all, except for some new graves. The atmosphere is still one of sadness and respect. I walk on and contemplate the names of the people buried here. They now belong to the past. Their lives are gone, yet their deeds will remain untouched and remembered.

She's there, standing tall and regal. My Kagome. I reach her clasped hand and squeeze them. It's been truly a very long time. I kiss her lips and hug her lightly. I am afraid of breaking her, for it's such a long time and time is never kind to any of us.

I can feel my eyes full of tears. I wonder why I had to be born a century later after her birth, for our love has been doomed since the beginning. I was never supposed to love her. What if she had survived her disease? She would have been seventy something and she could only stare at me with love for I might resemble her grandchild. Nothing more. And I would love her because she would resemble my grandmother.

But, somehow, fate twisted its way, and I met her when she was in her youthful form. I met her and fell in love, and in return, she, with her appearence and kind eyes, gave me strength whenever I needed it.

She may not have been alive when I met her, and even though I met her statue, not her real form, I am happy for we have shared special moments together. I do not care a century lays between us, or that she's dead and I am alive, still in my early thirties, with all my life ahead of me.

She's always been my angel. And she will forever be. We share a pure love, a platonic love, and I am glad we do. Don't they say that platonic love is special because it is perfect, or in other words, it will never fade away?

Yes, it is true, and I am glad our love, my love will never fade away. Perhaps, when I leave this world, I may find her in Heaven and then, we will be able to love each other. If not, I am still happy for she will forever live in my memories.

My memories are more precious than anything else, because by them, she will live forever in me. She will live though me as well. She will never age, she will forever remain beautiful and precious. Nature or time will not be able to destroy her. She's eternal in my soul.

Eternal.

                                                                  ~The End~  

A/N: I have not mentioned who's the protagonist and I won't. It's up to you if you believe it was Inuyasha telling us his story or Sesshoumaru. Choose your favourite brother. ^_^ Criticism is welcome, but flames are not. This is my first Inuyasha fanfic in English, so please beware of any spelling/grammar mistake.

Thank you all,

Sissi