Chapter Two: Utter Desolation
The pale naked figure hanging on the stonewall painfully forced his eyelids to open. Everything was a blurred mass of gray and black with occasional splashes of reddish brown. He blinked his dark eyes to try to bring focus and understanding, but his numbed brain resisted strongly. Gradually he became aware of a figure standing in front of him. The figure coalesced into a thin man in black robes, who spoke in a grating and somewhat querulous tone.
"Oh, good. You're finally conscious, traitor. We can begin again."
With a flick of a wand and a muttered word, the prisoner's world dissolved once more into nothing but searing pain.
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A strong sense of fear and desperation settled over those in the infirmary as they worked unceasingly to try to save both of the lives that balanced precariously on the edge of fate. Once Evangeline had been placed on one of the infirmary beds, Remus Lupin absolutely refused to leave her side. Since Poppy really did need an extra pair of hands, she didn't press the issue and allowed him to stay and help her. He did his very best to assist the mediwitch in her frantic attempts to stabilize her and keep her from losing her baby, but he realized quickly that he didn't possess the necessary skills to be of any true help. Despite his fervent wishes to the contrary, he was reduced to simply running and fetching things and praying as hard as he could that Poppy could be successful in her desperate attempt to save both of them.
As the long night wore on though, it became painfully clear that Poppy's best efforts were not going to be enough. Before dawn's arrival Evangeline's baby was stillborn in a rush of blood. No amount of healing magic could prevent it. In the space of a few hours, Evangeline had lost both her husband and her child, and it seemed her will to go on living as well.
Leaving a dazed Lupin to sit and hold Evangeline's limp hand and watch over her like a guardian angel, an exhausted Poppy walked dejectedly across the room to speak to a stricken and silent Dumbledore and McGonagall.
She raised haunted eyes to theirs and sighed heavily. "I'm sorry. I couldn't save the baby. She'd lost too much blood and labor couldn't be halted. I did everything I could, but the child wasn't developed enough to survive on her own."
McGonagall swallowed hard and whispered in a low cracked voice, "It was a girl?"
Poppy nodded. "Yes."
Dumbledore looked across the room at the pale still figure lying on the bed. "And Evangeline? Will she recover?"
Poppy looked very unhappy and uncertain. "I honestly don't know, Albus. She's lost a lot of blood. She's been unconscious ever since we brought her up here. No matter what I do I can't wake her, even the birth didn't seem to get any response from her. I'm afraid I'm not sure what will happen to her." She sighed in frustration. "I'll do my best, but I just don't know what to tell you. I can't make any promises at the moment; I wish I could."
Dumbledore nodded sadly.
Fearful but determined, Poppy looked him in the eyes. "Albus, I hate to ask, but what was in that box that could cause this?"
McGonagall turned away with tears in her eyes.
Dumbledore answered quietly, "Severus' wand and his wedding ring were on top. Underneath was what appears to be his severed head."
Poppy gasped in horror and whispered in a shaken voice, "My god! No wonder. Are you sure it's real?"
Dumbledore shook his head. "No. Once you and Remus can spare time from Evangeline, I'd like the two of you to examine it. As far as Minerva and I can tell, it appears to be real, but I'd feel better if I could get your opinions."
Poppy nodded sadly. "Of course, Albus. We'll do all we can. I certainly hope we can prove that it's not real, but real or not, I'm afraid the damage has already been done." Then with a deep sigh, the mediwitch patted the wizard comfortingly on the arm, turned away, and retreated across the room to get back to her comatose patient.
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The next few days passed at a crawl for everyone in the castle. News of Professor Snape's death spread through the school like wildfire fanned by the hot breath of anger and fear. Snape would have been astounded to see how many of the students genuinely mourned his passing; many of his colleagues did as well. And every one of them prayed fervently for the recovery of his wife, whose condition did not seem to be improving at all, no matter what was done for her. The entire population of the school existed in a mild state of shock at these gruesome and horrifying events. Hogwarts seemed a little less safe and secure than it had just a short time before.
Lupin and Poppy examined the grisly trophy in the box in every way they could think of. As much as they hoped to be able to prove that it wasn't Snape's head, they couldn't. Every test they put it through confirmed that it was Snape, although a heavy tinge of dark magic infused the whole thing. Still, that feeling could be the result of how he died. The ragged edge of the wound pointed to extreme forces having ripped his head from his body. Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, and anyone else they had test it, all came to the same sad conclusion. There simply didn't seem to be any room for doubt. No matter what any of them wanted to believe, it appeared that the head was genuine; Severus Snape was dead.
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An overwhelmed Remus Lupin dragged himself into the infirmary after dinner and took his usual place in a chair at the side of Evangeline's bed. It had been an unbearably long day. Classes had crawled by; the students were still too numb to really pay attention, which was probably just as well because he had no idea if his lessons were actually making sense at the moment. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't really make himself focus on anything except the woman who lay unresponsive to the world in the bed in front of him.
The day had been absolutely gray and featureless with nothing worth thinking about or remarking on until it was almost over. Then the mood of the day had quickly gone from gray to black as the late afternoon had been interrupted by a solemn ceremony held in a tiny graveyard north of the castle. While a somber and sad group of people watched in bleak silence, two small coffins were lowered into the ground side by side. Together in death as they'd never had the chance to be in life.
Still trying unsuccessfully to banish that horrid image from his mind, Lupin reached out and took Evangeline's limp hand in his and closed his eyes. How long had it been since he'd looked on something pleasant? Since life hadn't been reduced to such a blinding horror? His weary brain couldn't give him an answer. Suddenly he felt the light weight of a hand settling onto his thin shoulder. Resignedly he opened his eyes and looked up into Poppy's drawn face.
"Remus, you shouldn't be here. You need to get some rest before you collapse, yourself. There's nothing you can do for Evangeline."
Lupin sighed and a stubborn frown settled onto his features. "I can't sleep anyway, Poppy. I need to be here. I know it sounds foolish, but I have this feeling that she'll need me when she wakes up."
Poppy sighed, refusing to voice the thought that rattled loudly around in both of their minds. If she wakes up.
Instead she patted his shoulder and nodded her head. "Okay, Remus, you can stay for awhile, but you aren't going to spend the night in that chair again. Your body needs sleep. You aren't going to be any help to Evangeline if you collapse and end up in the next bed. I'll give you a dreamless sleep potion before you go, and I insist that you take it."
He nodded. Anything to get her to stop bugging him. "Okay, Poppy."
Satisfied that she'd done all she could, she bent down and checked Evangeline's pulse rate, then straightened up and went to attend to her other work.
Lupin turned his attention back to the woman in the bed in front of him. She was so pale and still, almost like a beautifully made doll…lifelike, yet not alive. Breath flowed in and out of her body, but that was the only sign of life. He stroked the back of her hand gently and leaned over to speak to her. Somehow he had to get through to her. He didn't think he could stand it if she ended up joining her husband and daughter in the cold hard ground behind the castle. She had to survive; she had to survive…and recover. His horrified mind simply couldn't accept anything else.
He raised her hand and rubbed it gently against his cheek, while he whispered pleadingly to her in a soft voice, "Evangeline. It's time to wake up, Angel. We all miss you and love you and need you. Please, come back to us…to me. Please. Severus wouldn't want you to do this, Angel. He'd want you to be strong…to go on living. You know he would. Please, come back, Evangeline. Please."
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Somewhere in a safe dark place where pain and hurt and tragedy do not exist, she turned her head. Something was intruding on the cool quiet darkness. A voice. She tried to block it out. She'd heard it before, hateful thing…trying to drag her out of the cool comfort of oblivion. Whispering about how much it needed her…how much it loved her. Against her will she could feel the voice grabbing a hold of her and pulling her away from the darkness…the comfortable, painless darkness. She fought the voice, tried to plunge deeper into welcoming nothingness, but it wouldn't stop talking. All she wanted was peace and quiet and the hateful voice was denying her that escape! Ever so slowly the horrid voice was dragging her upward into the painful light…toward the painful world… back into that from which she'd tried so hard to escape forever.
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Suddenly Evangeline began to moan and throw her head around on the pillow. Lupin squeezed her hand and called for Poppy, who dropped what she was doing and came at a run. Both of them watched carefully, speaking encouragingly to her as she appeared to finally be regaining consciousness.
Evangeline's eyes snapped open, and she stared wildly around her. Poppy placed a comforting hand on her forehead and smoothed her hair back as she spoke to her in a soothing voice. "Evangeline, dear, it's Poppy. Do you recognize me? Do you know where you are?"
The wild light died out of Evangeline's eyes, and they began to resemble two dead pools of fetid liquid. Lifeless. Cold. "Poppy," she whispered hoarsely.
Poppy smiled warmly. "Yes, dear. How do you feel?"
Evangeline slid her free hand over her abdomen feeling its soft flatness. "Empty," she whispered painfully, and closed her eyes once more.
Lupin was suddenly afraid that she was going to slip away from them again, and he squeezed her hand and touched her cheek gently. "Evangeline. Please, don't go back to sleep, Angel. We've been so worried about you. We need you to stay here with us."
She dragged her eyelids up again and focused her empty gaze on Lupin. In a hollow dead voice she murmured quietly, "Severus is dead. So is his child. Why shouldn't I join them, Remus? I don't belong here with you; I belong with them."
Cold fear spilled over him like a shower of ice at her quiet words. "No, Angel. You're alive, and you do belong here with us. Severus wouldn't want you to follow him into death. He'd want to protect you. He'd want you to be strong and face the future. You know he wouldn't want you to give up."
Her eyes filled with tears. "Damn, you," she whispered in a strangled tone. "And damn, Severus, too. How could he leave me here alone, Remus? How can I go on without him?"
Lupin put his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "You'll never be alone, Evangeline. We'll all be here to help you. I promise…you won't be alone." He held and rocked her gently as she sobbed out her pain and anguish against his sympathetic shoulder throughout the long dark night.
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Evangeline slowly regained her strength over the next few days, but there was no animation in her features, no life in her voice. She moved from one moment to the next with the air of someone who was just trying to get them over with as quickly as possible. No visitor got much of a reaction from her…with one notable exception.
"Hello, Evangeline, my dear. How are you feeling?" Dumbledore spoke softly and smiled his gentle smile at her from the foot of her bed.
Evangeline turned cold eyes up to his and responded sharply, "How do you think I feel now that you've murdered my husband, Albus?"
The old wizard stood tall and simply stared at her. Not having an answer for the absolutely bone chilling hatred that suffused every syllable of her statement.
"Come to gloat?" She sneered. "Unhappy that I survived? You managed to kill Severus and his daughter…too bad you couldn't make a clean sweep of things. Better luck next time." The look of pure hatred on her face could have turned most people to stone, even without the snakes.
Dumbledore sighed deeply. "Evangeline. You know I never meant for anything to happen to Severus…or your baby. Severus was like a son to me."
"Then you need to learn to take better care of your children, Albus. Now get out of my sight. Being in your presence makes me feel sick to my stomach." Her tone would've frozen a torch.
She turned her head away from him, but he didn't take the hint.
"Evangeline, please don't…"
She didn't let him finish. Instead she sat up swiftly, leaped out of the bed, and flew at him with clawed hands like a raptor, tearing at any part of him that she could touch.
"Murderer!" she shrieked at the top of her lungs. "Leave me alone! Go join your victims! I HATE YOU…I HATE YOU…I WILL ALWAYS HATE YOU!"
She continued to pound on his chest and rake at his beard as she collapsed into gut wrenching sobs. Both Poppy and Minerva, who'd just entered the infirmary, ran to the two of them and pulled Evangeline off the unresisting figure of the Headmaster.
As Minerva tried to quiet the hysterical woman and put her back to bed, Poppy turned to Dumbledore and asked, "Are you all right, Albus?"
He nodded dazedly. Once reassured that the Headmaster was undamaged, Poppy's gaze turned slightly colder. "Then I think it would be best if you left now. It's not good to have her so upset. Once she's had a chance to recover, I'm sure she'll feel differently, but for now I think it's best if you don't visit with Evangeline."
Looking very much like an old man who'd lost his way, Dumbledore nodded to Poppy and left the infirmary hoping that he'd be able to get through to her another day.
But Evangeline vowed to never again speak to Albus Dumbledore, and that was one vow that she kept, for a very long time.
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