Title: Falling
Summary: I am in the process of working out a more involved fanfic, but in the meantime, I am exercising my brain with some short "fluffy" stories that I have always had a 'vision' about writing. This one takes place immediately after Edelweiss and the following morning. It is my take on one of the cut scenes from the movie from Maria's point of view
Disclaimer: I do not own 20th Century Fox, The Sound of Music, or any of its characters
Thanks: Same thanks as always to my wonderful beta, Joolsfan, who helped me so much with this story. I really appreciate it!
Falling
It had been a restless night. The von Trapp children had been excited about the announcement their father had just made; they would be holding a formal gala in their home at the end of the summer and this was to be many of the children's first fancy party.
Once Maria had managed to lure the children away from the salon, spirited chatter filled the air as she walked them upstairs to the right wing of the Villa toward their bedrooms.
As their governess, Maria felt an obligation to insist they continue their playful banter in the morning; it was already well past their bedtime. Furthermore, as a young woman whose mind was clouded with confusion, Maria needed some time alone to think. Therefore, she asked Liesl to assist her in preparing the little ones for bed in order to accelerate the usually long process.
After some time, the two women managed to persuade the reluctant children to go to sleep and Maria was able to return to her own bedroom.
Yet, once alone in her bedroom, Maria was unable to dispel thoughts of the children; thoughts of how she had grown to love them so quickly.
Thoughts of their father.
Watching him lightly strum her guitar as he uttered the sweet words of Edelweiss in his low, masculine voice, had affected her. She had felt a sense of complete peace as she listened to him sing, as if for the first time in her life she really belonged someplace.
Maria had been completely captivated by the love that filled his eyes as he engaged in a moment of song with Liesl. His pride was obvious as he watched all of his children, and Maria smiled to herself as thoughts of the cold disciplinarian that he had been when she had first met him, crossed her mind. Much to her own happiness, and that of the children, she knew that that side of him was gone forever. Everything was different now.
Everything.
Maria crossed her room and moved in front of the window, absently staring outside into the night. Her mind went back to earlier, when the Captain had played the final chords of the folksong and had gazed upwards in her direction. As her eyes met his stare, Maria had found herself unable to look away. Nor had she wanted to, as much as she felt that she should. All she knew was that the thoughts she had while lost in his eyes and the intensity between them had felt right. At that single moment, she had felt safe and complete. She had felt like more than the governess.
She raised the back of her palm to her cheek; the sudden heat that had risen to her face was causing her cheeks to tingle. Casting her gaze to the floor, Maria hung her head with confusion and slouched her shoulders. She walked away from the window and kneeled beside her bed, looking Heavenward for a second before bowing her head.
"Help me, Father. Guide me toward your will and give me strength. I'm confused," she prayed in a small voice. For a moment longer, she sat in silent prayer before she sighed deeply and crossed her chest. "Amen."
For hours Maria laid awake in bed, watching time slowly pass on her bedside clock. Yet, the thoughts that constantly entered her mind failed to bring any sense to the strange emotions she was experiencing.
She finally fell asleep during the early hours of the morning. Confusion and guilt left her mind and her mind was overcome with dreams of never having to leave the Trapp Villa again.
A restless night slowly turned into a restless morning. As soon as the sun rose, Maria dressed and exited her bedroom. A walk through the garden would surely lighten her spirit and she had enough time to pass before breakfast. Morning had always been Maria's favorite time of day; the world seemed so peaceful and pure. Even if her mind was still muddled with mixed emotions that she herself could not decipher, at least she could find some peace of mind in nature.
She quietly descended the stairwell in the foyer, so as not to disturb the rest of the household. Turning toward the front door to leave, a low sound caused her to stiffen in her tracks. Instinctively, a soft smile formed on her face when she realized what it was.
Again, the sound rang through the otherwise silent Villa. Maria would recognize it anywhere; the low, jovial rumble of the Captain's laughter, a genuine chuckle that came from deep within his soul. Its soothing sound always made her smile and she found herself doing just that as she listened.
However, it was not the only noise to pierce the silence of the morning. It was accompanied by a light, childlike giggle; one that Maria had heard all too often.
'Marta,' she thought to herself with a smile, thinking of the shy seven-year-old who had so much affection to give. She knew the Captain tended to awaken early, a trait leftover from his days at sea, she presumed. In addition, Maria also recalled the children's ridicule of their sister who always woke up hours before the rest of the house had even stirred.
"You're so silly, Father!" the little girl giggled, further catching her governess' attention as she stood unnoticed in the foyer by the stairs.
Maria smiled as she heard him place a kiss on Marta's cheek and she took a few steps closer to the salon so that she could hear more clearly.
"Come sit on my lap," he said in a gentle voice to his daughter.
Marta enthusiastically skipped to her father and climbed into his lap, while at the same time Maria found herself being drawn to right outside the salon doorway so that she could watch what was happening inside.
Leaning against the doorframe, careful to not mutter a sound, Maria's eyes twinkled as she beheld the Captain with his back to her. Little Marta was sitting in his lap, playing with the lapel on his jacket.
The Captain repositioned Marta on his lap slightly so that they could look at each other. He smiled at his daughter. "And what would you like to do, my dear?"
Marta's smile turned to an inquisitive look and she knitted her brow in thought. "I don't know. It's usually Brigitta's job to pick what we do. Or Gretl's," she said in an innocent voice.
Maria smiled and had to stifle a giggle at the observation; something she knew to be very true given Brigitta and Gretl's more domineering personalities.
The Captain's eyes opened wide and he cracked a small, half-smile. "Well today it's your turn to decide. Anything you'd like," he told her while brushing a long strand of dark hair off of Marta's face.
Marta nodded and grinned broadly. "Well…" She looked upwards contemplatively.
"We could read a story? Or go outside and play ball? Or we could take a walk, just you and me?" the Captain suggested.
Marta looked at him with big brown eyes, obviously intrigued by the suggestions but waiting to hear if anything else better was offered. She looked mutely at her father, urging him to give her more ideas.
The Captain's eyes twinkled. "Whatever you'd like, my dear. Just no puppet shows. I'm afraid I would never be able to live up to Fräulein Maria's reputation," he quipped.
As Maria heard him casually mutter her name, she stiffened and felt her cheeks flush. She felt special to be singled out in such a complimentary way and the happiness she had knowing that he thought of her so highly caused her to cast her eyes to the ground.
"She's such a good singer, isn't she? Fräulein Maria has the prettiest voice I've ever heard," Marta said while fingering one of the buttons on the Captain's jacket.
Maria smiled lovingly at the little girl and leaned her head absently against the doorframe.
The Captain smiled lowly at his daughter and moved his gaze upwards toward the corner of the room in thought. "Yes. Yes, she has a beautiful voice. She's perfect," he trailed in a barely audible tone.
Maria cocked her head to the side to try to make out the Captain's words but could not hear anything but a low murmur. Absently, she pursed her lips and felt her shoulders slouch. She focused her gaze on the Captain and then sighed softly, closing her eyes and getting lost in her own thoughts. After a brief moment, her concentration was interrupted again by Marta's sweet voice.
"Father?" the little girl asked lowly, "can we play with my dolls?" She leaned toward her father, resting her head on his shoulder, and looked up at him with pleading eyes.
Maria opened her eyes slowly and returned her gaze to the Captain. She smiled when she saw the surprised look upon his face, and her grin broadened when she saw him obviously trying to think of an excuse to avoid the request.
Suddenly, his face softened and he turned to Marta. "Well, yes. Yes, of course we can play with your dolls," he said with a forced smile.
Marta's face glowed.
"Which one shall I be?" the Captain continued with forced enthusiasm.
Marta smiled broadly. She was quite intrigued with her large collection of dolls and often found it difficult to find a playmate other than Gretl.
"Well," she began in a small voice, "there are only three children in the family. Their names are Marta, Gretl, and Liesl," she continued.
"And what about your other siblings?" the Captain laughed while looking his daughter straight in the eyes. "Do they know that they are not part of your family?"
Maria smiled at Marta's serious expression as she pondered her father's question. She felt her heart ache as she watched the Captain teasing his little girl as if he would not rather be doing anything else in the world. As she stared at him, Maria closed her eyes and found herself wondering what it would be like to talk to him about something other than the children. She wondered what his life had been like growing up and about his life at sea.
"I don't think they'd mind, Father. The others don't even like dolls and Friedrich and Kurt are always trying to remove their heads," Marta stated with a shrug.
"Oh I see," the Captain further chuckled while standing up from the sofa with Marta in his arms and placing her on the ground. Almost awkwardly, the Captain took a seat on the floor in the center of the room and motioned for Marta to sit next to him. Eagerly, the little girl complied and sat down next to her father. She handed him the male doll and one of the child dolls.
Maria smiled at the sight of Baron Von Trapp sitting on the floor in a suit, playing dolls. She softly smiled as she watched him step out of his comfort zone for the selfless sake of pleasing his daughter. 'He would do anything for these children,' she thought to herself.
"You get to be the father and Liesl. I get to be Marta, Gretl and Fräulein Maria," she told him in an innocent voice.
"Oh? Fräulein Maria gets to be one of the dolls, too, I see?" the Captain asked while raising his eyebrow, a tinge of intrigue in his voice.
"Oh yes," Marta said in a matter-of-fact tone while nodding. "Gretl and I always have Fräulein Maria be the mother doll. She takes the family on fun trips and sings to the children before bed too."
The Captain smiled softly while staring at the 'Fräulein Maria' doll. "I see. Then Fräulein Maria it is, my dear," he barely whispered.
As Maria watched the scene, she felt her heart beating and her face flushing. The insinuation of herself being the mother of the Von Trapp children caused Maria to smile gently and glance downward. She was flustered by the suggestion. Not because she did not feel comfortable with the implication. On the contrary, she delighted in the thought of being a member of the Von Trapp family; a more permanent part of the family than merely a servant.
Instinctively, she glanced Heavenward. Overpowering her happiness was guilt and shame and her mind clouded with confusion, as it had the night before. This was not the way that a governess on God's duty was supposed to feel; nor a postulant for that matter. Maria was certain of that.
Yet, despite her apprehension, Maria could not draw her eyes from the Captain. She leaned her head against the doorframe and smiled as he moved the dolls about, which made the little girl laugh heartily.
"Father?" Marta asked after quite some time, "Can we stop playing dolls now? I'm tired of them," she said with a slight hesitation.
"Oh, all right," the Captain quipped, although Maria was the only one to notice the mock disappointment in his tone.
"It's nearly breakfast time anyway. Why don't we go into the dining room and wait for the others?" the Captain asked while standing up. He bent down to pick Marta up and gave her a kiss on the cheek as he lifted her off of the ground. As the child relaxed in her father's arms, she caught sight of her governess.
"Fräulein Maria!" she excitedly called, urging her father to place her on the ground.
The Captain turned around, startled by his daughter's exclamation. He faced Maria with an initial look of surprise, which slowly dissolved to a soft smile. His sparkling eyes caught Maria's attention. Despite the heat she felt on her face and the perspiration that she felt on her palms, she found herself drawn to his gaze and unable to look away.
"Good morning, Fräulein," he said in a low voice with a small, half-smile. As he spoke, Marta bid her governess good morning by tightly hugging her waist.
"Good morning," Maria replied in a soft voice. She slowly nodded and smiled, but continued to gaze into the Captain's eyes.
"You should come to breakfast a few minutes early every day, Fräulein. Marta seems quite happy to have you all to herself," said with a genuine smile.
Maria felt Marta eagerly nod to confirm the statement, as she still clung to her waist. Casting her gaze downward for a short moment, Maria smiled but quickly returned her eyes to the Captain. "Please forgive me if I interrupted your time with Marta, Sir. I--" she trailed.
Locking eyes with her, the Captain moved closer to Maria and laid his hand on Marta's head, which remained at her governess' waist. He gently stroked his daughter's hair. "Nonsense, Fräulein. You could never be an interruption," he told her. He cocked his head as he smiled softly at her.
Maria felt her cheeks redden and quickly looked downward toward Marta's head. She could still feel the Captain's eyes on her face.
As he gazed at Maria, the Captain lost track of his surroundings; for a moment it was only he and Maria in the room. His feelings intensified even more, when Maria instinctively glanced upwards and once again met his stare.
"Father, when will the others be down? I'm hungry," Marta asked while glancing upwards from her father to her governess.
The Captain cleared his throat and removed his gaze from Maria at the interruption; the reality of his daughter's presence becoming clear once again. "Yes. Uh, everyone will be downstairs in ten minutes," he stammered while glancing at his watch.
Marta nodded and removed herself from her governess' waist. As the little girl began to walk towards the dining room, the Captain raised his right hand and gestured for Maria to follow.
"After you, Fräulein." His eyes twinkled as they met her gaze and he smiled at her.
Maria smiled sheepishly and nodded. She followed Marta to the dining room and the Captain walked close behind. In her mind, Marta tried to tell herself that everything was the same as it had always been; in her heart, she knew that it would never be the same again.
End.