Chapter Eight: Freedom
The prisoner stretched his stiff and weary muscles as much as his scar tissue would allow. He ached all over but there wasn't any intense pain. The beating he'd received earlier had seemed to be more of an idle amusement for the guards than any sort of interrogation session. Perhaps they'd finally given up on ever learning anything useful from him. If so, it could mean that his long tiring ordeal was finally nearing its end. The only end that could occur…his death.
He almost welcomed the idea. It would mean the game was concluded, and he'd won! No matter the pain…no matter the cost…he'd given them nothing…except frustration. An acceptable epitaph. He lived, he died, he won. The old man would be proud. Great. Just when he was sure everything was gone, something would sneak back. Who was the old man? Why was he pleased to think that he'd have been proud of him? His father, perhaps? No, that didn't seem quite right. Don't think about it! It's better not to know. Forget. Forget everything. Forget it all. Forget the pain. Forget the torture. Forget…
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Remus Lupin appeared outside Evangeline's cottage in the late afternoon sunshine. The scent of autumn strongly suffused the brisk cool air. Everything felt crisp and clean with the tang of the salty ocean adding its spice. With an anticipatory smile on his face he stepped up and knocked on the door. There was a short delay then the door opened to reveal Evangeline smiling at him in welcome.
She had her warm brown hair pulled back and twisted into a loose bun, which served to emphasize the gracefulness of her slender throat. Lupin had a sudden almost irresistible impulse to grab her and press his lips to the beating pulse visible beneath the smooth skin. A stab of fear went running through him at the thought since it was so near to the full moon. This particular image was a bit too close to visualizing himself ripping into her tender throat with his fangs. Suddenly he felt a bit afraid to be so near her this close to a full moon. It was of the utmost importance that his dual nature never endanger Evangeline. This visit would have to be very short.
"Hello, Remus. Everything's all ready for you. Come in." She held the door open widely and beckoned him in.
He shook off his disquietude and smiled back at her. "Have you managed to do anything about the taste, Angel? I never could convince Severus that he should work on that. I think he enjoyed watching me gag as I drank it."
She sighed. "This is my first attempt, Remus. I followed the recipe to the letter. Hopefully it will be exactly the same as what you've had in the past…awful taste included, unfortunately."
Together they walked through the cottage to the kitchen, where a cauldron full of potion simmered on the fire.
Evangeline took a drinking goblet off the counter and dipped it into the cauldron filling it with steaming liquid. She turned with a nervous smile on her face and held out the cup. "Here you go, Remus. I'm pretty sure that it's right, but if you've changed your mind, I'll understand."
Confidently he reached out his hand, his fingers lightly brushing against hers as he took the goblet from her grasp. "I'm sure it's fine, Angel. I trust you. Besides, I didn't come all this way to turn it down."
With a smile of reassurance for her, he brought the cup closer to his face and sniffed at the steaming brew. A grimace of distaste flashed across his countenance. "Well, it certainly smells right. Here goes nothing."
While she watched him anxiously, he upended the cup and drank the potion down in one gulp. As usual he had to force himself to swallow the hideous stuff. His eyes watered from the noxious fumes and abhorrent taste.
He nodded to her and gasped. "Gah! Well, it certainly tastes right. Unfortunately, I should probably have another cupful. The full moon will affect me for the maximum time possible this month."
Reluctantly he held the steaming goblet out to her for a refill. Which she complied with quickly, watching carefully as he contorted his pleasant features and downed the second cupful as fast as the first.
A shiver ran through him as he put the cup down on the table. "Yuk. Well, I'm glad that's over with. I'll let you know how it works."
She nodded. "Can you stay to dinner, Remus? The full moon won't rise for hours yet."
The werewolf gazed at her and so longed to say yes, but he simply didn't dare. He couldn't be anywhere near her when the moon lit up the sky. Time had a habit of disappearing for him when he was in her company, and he simply couldn't ever take the slightest chance with her safety. Violent impulses were beginning to stir the blood beneath his calm demeanor, and he knew that he had to be miles away from her when they took hold, even while under the influence of the Wolfsbane Potion. He'd rather throw himself from the cliff outside her door than ever harm a hair on her head.
"I really need to get back, Angel. I'm expected for dinner in the Great Hall. Then moonrise will be along before I know it."
With a sad smile, she put her arm around his waist, and he slid his about her shoulders as they slowly walked back to the door of the cottage together. "I understand. Be sure and let me know how this works for you, okay?"
He smiled down at her as they stood in the open doorway, and he gave her a big hug. "I will. I'm sure it will work just fine, though. Believe me, it was just as hideous as ever."
His comment provoked a laugh and his heart turned over at the sound. "Okay."
They stared fondly at each other for a moment, then on impulse Remus bent and kissed her softly. Caught unaware by his action she hesitated as his lips met hers, and Remus could feel a tremor shoot through her whole body as he held her gently in his arms. Tentatively she returned his kiss but broke it off quickly. Even though the kiss lasted for only a moment, for Remus it might as well have been a lifetime. That brief contact had sent fireworks crackling through his mind.
Evangeline smiled an embarrassed smile, ducked her head, and stepped back as they pulled apart. "I hope to see you again soon, Remus." She said almost shyly, suddenly feeling a trifle awkward in his presence.
Remus knew better than to push, although it wasn't easy. With a brisk nod, he stepped back from the doorway and smiled a goodbye as he vanished quickly from her sight, leaving her standing in the doorway of her cottage with her heart racing madly, hoping that she wasn't making the biggest mistake of her life.
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A few days later, as Evangeline was just finishing up with her breakfast, an owl came tapping at her window with a note clutched in its claws. When she retrieved and opened it, she found that it was from Remus. Anxious to find out if her potion had worked or not, she sank back down into her chair at the table and avidly read the letter.
Dear Evangeline,
I know you've probably been wondering whether or not your potion was a success, but let me assure you that it was. Everything felt just the same as it was supposed to. I was able to keep myself in complete control for the entire length of the transformation. I can't thank you enough, Angel. It's such a relief to know that I won't accidentally harm anyone while I'm in my wolf form. Severus would be proud of your accomplishment, I'm sure. He always said it was a difficult potion to make, but you did it perfectly.
I'll be back at the next full moon, and thank you again. It means more to me than I can say that you're willing to do this for me. I'll be in touch soon.
All My Love,
Remus
As she perused the contents a pleased smile spread over her face. It was a relief to know that the potion had worked correctly, and that she hadn't accidentally poisoned him. With a sigh, she laid the letter down on the table. A single line jumped out at her and tugged at her heart. "Severus would be proud of your accomplishment…". Her throat tightened slightly at the thought. She certainly would like to believe that he'd have been proud of her. With a shiver a sudden pang of grief hit her again, and she closed her eyes against the tears that threatened once more to spring into being. Would she ever stop missing him? Would a time ever come when the mention of his name wouldn't lead to a stab of pain in her heart?
Abruptly she got up from the table and went over to gaze out the window at the woods behind her cottage. Somehow she had to find a way to make it happen. Severus had been gone for a whole year now. No matter how much she might wish it otherwise, he wasn't coming back. Clinging to his memory…his love…wasn't doing her any good. He was lost to her forever. She had to find some way to let him go.
Making this potion for Remus was the first step toward possibly letting him into her life. She knew she needed to move forward, and the road forward seemed to be leading inexorably towards Remus Lupin. Whether that was a good thing or not, she hadn't quite decided, but it did seem to be inevitable. Despite what he said, Evangeline had a feeling that he'd never truly accept anything else, and the thought of spending more time with Remus certainly wasn't an unpleasant one. There really didn't seem to be any good reason to resist it, unless she wanted to spend the rest of her life alone. She lifted a hand and delicately traced the shape of her lips as she remembered their parting kiss. Was letting Remus into her life the right thing to do? She wished that she could be sure.
With a sigh, she turned away from the window and began to clear away her breakfast dishes in preparation for starting her day. She'd simply have to take it one day at a time. If each one brought her closer to Remus, then it did. There was no need to rush into anything, though. They had all the time in the world, after all. Maybe with more time, she could even come to care for him the way he deserved.
Autumn followed the path they'd laid out with this first success with the Wolfsbane Potion. Remus returned each month for more of the potion, and they continued to grow infinitesimally closer as fall drifted slowly into winter. Evangeline kept moving nearer and nearer and finally, Remus was confident that he could see his heart's desire on the horizon. Winter came shining with possibilities this year, and he was more than ready to make the most of them.
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The prisoner sat in the corner of his cell and listened very hard to the absolute silence. He'd heard no sounds at all for the entire day, or was it longer? Time tended to blur when you sat in a featureless stone cell with no set pattern to your life. One day blended seamlessly into another and existence flowed on like water in a stream. It was almost like existing in a featureless void with no connection to the world revolving around outside. The light never varied, which didn't help, always remaining the same flickering light cast by the never changing torches that glowed in the hallway outside his cell. He could see them through the bars that prevented him from leaving this place. Had everyone gone away and left him here alone?
Usually he could hear faint sounds of movement, the occasional scream, but now even the rats seemed silent. The last food and water he'd received was some time ago. Perhaps they were finally through with him. There was a time when he'd longed for peace. To be left alone to die. Now that the time had apparently come upon him, he found that he didn't like it after all.
A stray thought flickered through his mind. "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it." How odd. Where had that come from? He was quite sure that he'd emptied his mind of everything it contained. Yet that thought had sprung from the depths fully formed. Perhaps his mind wasn't empty after all. Perhaps his thoughts and knowledge were merely buried under layers and layers of pain. Maybe he could dig them out again if he worked at it. But did he dare? If they returned and caught him excavating among the ruins of his mind, they might learn something, and then all this pain and agony would have been for nothing. No. He couldn't take the chance. If this was another ploy to get to him it wasn't going to work. He danced to no one's tune.
Danced…suddenly another stray thought flashed through his mind. The intensity of the vision caught him by surprise. Suddenly he was no longer in his little stone cell, instead he found himself in a large hall filled with costume clad people. The colors and bright lights hurt his eyes with their brilliance after so long with nothing but drabness in his life. There was music playing, and he was dancing with a woman wearing a black mask made of feathers. She wore a soft black and orange gown that clung to her in a most attractive manner. Her body felt so warm and inviting in his arms, so right, as if that was where she belonged. Her hair smelled marvelously of the warm sweet scent of roses, and her radiant smile, which focused solely on him, warmed his frozen heart. It was she; he knew it…the Angel from the last image in his mind. Once he'd held her in his arms and danced. How wonderful! He contented himself with leaning back against the rough wall and letting the image play over and over in his echoing mind, losing himself in its beauty and comfort. If this was his time to die, at least he wouldn't die alone.
Suddenly he was pulled from his mesmerizing reverie by a sharp sound. Perhaps he wasn't alone after all. Painfully he hauled himself up out of his corner and limped stiffly over to the cell door. Reacquainting himself with the concept of moving as he went. Sounds were definitely drifting down the corridor. Not the usual sounds of movement and torture, though. This sounded more like…war.
Desperately he grabbed onto the bars of his cage as a tremor shook the entire room. Dust and smoke began to swirl about in the corridor. Then came the screams…not the sounds of torture though…it was more like anger and fighting and painful injury. Something was happening, something that his captors were not enjoying. Good. His lips drew back into a nasty smile. Let's spread the pain around, shall we. They were so good at dishing it out; perhaps they weren't quite as good at taking it. He hoped not at any rate. If anyone deserved a little pain it was the demons in charge of this rat-infested hellhole.
The noises got closer, the explosions louder. Abruptly he was thrown roughly to the ground as a blast of red energy tore a hole in the wall next to the door. Noises continued loudly in the corridor for a few minutes as he curled up and covered his head protectively with his trembling hands. Once it quieted a bit, he pulled himself slowly to his feet and climbed awkwardly out of the cell into the corridor. The first thing he saw was a body lying in a pile of rubble. He bent down to touch him, but it was clear the man was dead. The figure wore a black cloak and some sort of mask on his face. How strange. He felt that he should know what that meant…but he didn't.
He looked around him for any sign of anyone else, but for the moment at least the corridor was empty, although there were sounds of fighting coming from not very far away. The wall across the corridor from his cell also had a hole blasted in it. It exposed not another cell though, but a dark tunnel that went off into who knows where.
The prisoner considered his options. He could simply wait here and see who, if anyone, showed up. Probably not a wise move since he had no clue as to what was going on. Whoever was attacking might be every bit as bad as his captors here. Why hang around to face who knows what new horror? He was free. He should take advantage of that fact. This tunnel might lead somewhere safe. At the very least it led away from the sounds of fighting. He started to enter the tunnel, then hesitated, looking down at the ratty gray pants and shirt he wore. He turned back to the body on the floor. Quickly he bent and stripped the body of his clothes and boots and exchanged them for his own as fast as he could in the dim flickering torch light.
The fit wasn't perfect, but he certainly wasn't going to complain. Wrapping himself in the blackness of the cloak he vanished down the tunnel into the darkness as fast as it was safe for him to go. Keeping a hand on the tunnel wall and extending a torch in front of him that he'd ripped off the wall back by his cell, he moved resolutely into the freedom of the unknown, eager to put as much space between himself and this pit of hell spawn as was humanly possible.
The sounds of conflict quieted after a time. Then there were only the moans of the victims, and the sounds of the victors moving around securing the complex. Two figures came around the corner and into the corridor from which our prisoner had so recently made his escape.
They walked over to the man in gray rags lying in the corridor on a pile of rubble. The first man felt for a pulse on the corpse, but found none. He straightened up and shook his head.
"He's dead. This must've been his cell. Do you recognize him?" He turned to the tall, slender, dark haired man by his side.
"No. He doesn't look familiar." He sighed and looked back at his companion. "Well, if he's the only one we lost, I suppose that's not too bad. How many prisoners were there supposed to be here anyway, Remus?"
Remus Lupin shrugged his shoulders as he gazed sadly at the dead man at his feet. "I'm not sure. Dumbledore didn't seem to know. The information he had was a little sketchy. Inside information isn't as reliable and detailed as it was back when Severus was alive, you know."
Black nodded in response. "Yeah…I guess the slimy git was good for something, after all." His voice held a faint tinge of affection and sadness despite the harshness of his words.
Lupin sighed. "Well, let's get back and help get the prisoners to medical treatment, then I need to make another stop before we go to make our report to Albus. I had a funny feeling when I was talking to him about this mission that he hoped we'd accomplish something special here, but for the life of me I don't know what that might be. This place seems just like so many other centers of dark side torture and perversion that we've seen throughout the course of this war."
Black agreed with his friend, and the two of them turned and walked back up the corridor to return to work.
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Author's Notes: I'm going on vacation starting this weekend. I won't have access to my computer files, so the next chapter won't be up until I return…probably on the 21st or 22nd. Please, leave me your reviews, so I'll have some interesting reading to return to. :) Thank you all for sticking with me. I hope you're enjoying the story. The prisoner is finally free…for what that's worth to him without his memories.
Mysterious-backpacker: I only wait as long as necessary to update. While the basic story is written, each chapter needs a lot of work before it's ready to post. I suppose I am being rather mean to Evangeline and Severus, but as you pointed out…they're only fictional characters…they'll get over it. :)
Arachne's Child: Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you find Evangeline's grieving process to be realistic. Severus is indeed a very strong person, he's not one to just fold up and die. Sometimes it's good to be stubborn…sometimes not.
Jtyw: No, problem. If Evangeline sets her mind to something…she usually succeeds.
Jezebel: Yes, Severus deserves to have something go his way. He's free now. :) I'm afraid that's as good as it gets for awhile, though.
Sage and Snape: Yes, I'm still not completely happy with the first conversation between Remus and Evangeline, but I had to get it all out there in order to move things forward. The prisoner is now free, but as you'll see "Severus" is nowhere to be found.
SevyHero: Thank you. I have enough material to finish the story. Anything else is nothing more than amorphous thoughts at the moment.
Lina Lupin: As you can see, Snape has help with the escape. Walking is indeed a rather foreign skill for him at the moment…still, he manages. He's a very determined man.
Elbereth94: I'm glad you find my arguments persuasive. We got a glimpse of Sirius in this chapter, but there's more to come later…closer to Christmas. Things really begin to move along for Remus and Evangeline from now on.
AlphaWolf: Thank you so much. The chapters will keep coming as long as I have story to tell.