Chapter 6

"Ross…Emily. She's your ex-wife."

Everyone stared at Rachel in shock. The other four friends couldn't believe what she had just said. She had just revealed something major to Ross, which was sure to shock him, as he hadn't gotten his full memory back yet. He had no idea who Emily was, let alone that he had been married another time! From the expression on Ross's face, he seemed to be thinking the exact same thing. He was staring at Rachel as though he wasn't sure who was crazy – her or him.

"Wait, Rach…what?" Ross laughed nervously, staring at the pained expression on Rachel's face. "How…how? I mean, Carol's my ex-wife, not, not Emily, I mean, I've never married an Emily."

"Yes, you have," Rachel whispered. Tears were now running down her face. "Ross, the accident…something happened to your brain, part of your memory just went away. It's not 1997, it's 2003. You married and divorced Emily like five or six years ago."

"No, Rachel, what are you thinking?" Ross asked. "That never happened, I didn't lose my memory…right, you guys?" He looked at his other friends. The expressions on their faces were enough of an answer. "But…why? Why didn't you guys tell me?"

"The doctor thought it would be best if we didn't," Chandler answered. "He figured it would come to you in a few days."

"But…god, I can't believe this!" Ross said, crossing to the couch and sitting down. "So the last six years of my life are just…gone?"

"Pretty much," Monica said. "You just don't remember anything. I'm sorry Ross, this has to be the weirdest feeling."

"Well, yeah," Ross agreed. "I want you guys to tell me everything, okay? Everything that happened since 1997. Maybe then, I'll remember."

"Okay," agreed Phoebe. "Well…what's the last thing you remember? Before the accident, I mean."

Ross shut his eyes, trying to think. "I was…going to the playdate with Ben…and the stripper mom! Yeah, that was it…I was talking to Rachel about us trusting each other in the coffeehouse, and then I left…and then I woke up in the hospital. But wait!" Ross turned to Rachel. "But…if I got married to this Emily person, then Rach…you and I, we…did we?"

"Yeah," said Rachel. "We broke up, Ross. I'm sorry."

"But…when? Why?" asked Ross, his eyes welling up. He looked devastated.

"A couple weeks after you remember, right before our anniversary…well, really on our anniversary, or kinda the day after, really."

"Why?" Ross asked again. "Rachel, please, I have to know why."

"I can't," Rachel whispered, sinking down on the other side of the couch.

"Rachel's co-worker, Mark," said Monica, stepping in. "You got so jealous of him, you were convinced that Rachel wanted to be with him."

"My god, was I really that stupid?" Ross asked.

"Oh yeah," Monica told him. "So then you guys had a fight, and you left and went to a club with Joey and Chandler, and you…" Monica broke off. "I can't say it either, can someone…"

"Ross," said Joey softly, "you…you ended up…sleeping with Chloe the Xerox girl." He finished his sentence very fast and held his breath, waiting for Ross's reaction.

"I…I WHAT?" yelled Ross, completely shocked. "No way, it had to be something else, I would never do that!" He looked at Rachel, who nodded at him. "Oh my god…I…why? Rach, I'm so sorry, I…" He broke off and hugged her. She didn't pull away, just held on and let tears continue down her face.

"It really wasn't your fault, Ross," she whispered. "We were on a break."

The other four looked at her in shock again. Had she just admitted to being on a break?

"Um, okay, this is pretty Twilight Zone," said Chandler loudly, "but Ross, do you want to hear what else has happened?"

"Well, yeah," Ross admitted. "I mean, I want to know, I want to remember, but if it's all stupid stuff like that, I don't know if I really want to know…you know?"

"Oh no, that's pretty much the stupidest thing you did," Phoebe told him. "Well, maybe except for the time you got married in Vegas…"

"I got married in VEGAS??" repeated Ross. "Why? To who? Oh my god, am I married now?"

"No, no," Monica assured him. "Just listen, we'll tell you everything…" she paused. "I don't know where to start."

"Well, after you and Rachel broke up," began Chandler, causing Ross to look down, "everything was pretty touchy for awhile, neither of you really found anyone else you wanted to be with, you guys only managed to get back together for like a day-"

"And about the same time you did, Chandler peed on Monica!" Joey broke in. Chandler glared at him. "What? You said we were gonna tell him everything!"

"Not THAT kind of thing!" Chandler hissed.

"ANYWAY," Monica interrupted, "That kinda went away for awhile. Then Rachel accidentally set you up with her boss's niece, a British girl named Emily. You guys hit it off, and you proposed to her after six weeks."

"Six weeks?" repeated Ross in disbelief. "Were we really that close?"

"Nope," said Chandler. "I don't know what you were thinking. So a few weeks later, you, me, Monica, Joey and Emily all go back to London for the wedding, and-"

"Wait," Ross interrupted. "Phoebe? Rachel, where were you guys?"

"Oh, I was pregnant with my brother's triplets!" said Phoebe brightly. Seeing the expression on Ross's face, she quickly added, "Oh, no, don't worry! It was him and his wife's baby, it was just growing in my uterus."

"Right," said Ross slowly. "Rach, why…why weren't you there?"

"I couldn't go," she said softly. "I just couldn't go and watch you get married, and anyway, Phoebe needed help."

"Yeah, but then she ditched me to fly over and tell you she was still in love with you."

"You were?" Ross whispered. Rachel didn't answer.

"Yeah, but she backed out at the last minute," Chandler said. "But you managed to screw the wedding up, anyway. Guess whose name you said at the altar?"

"I Ross take the Rachel," Joey said in a deep voice.

"Really? I did that? God, I just got stupider by the minute!" said Ross.

"Lucky for you, or maybe unlucky, Emily kept going with the ceremony, but she didn't come back to the US, and she decided that you guys couldn't stay married unless you promised never to see Rachel again."

"Oh god, please tell me I picked Rachel," Ross begged.

"Yes, eventually, you did just that, luckily," Monica said. "So Emily went away, and Phoebe had her babies and gave them to her brother and his wife, a forty year old home ec teacher."

"And all went well for awhile," Chandler continued, "until Vegas."

"Whoa, wait just one minute!" Rachel interrupted. "What about the other stuff that happened in London?" she asked, glaring at Chandler.

"Yeah, it's no fair just telling him what he did, he has to know what you guys have been doing!" Phoebe added. "Go on, tell him!"

Chandler frowned. "Oh yeah…Joey had a thing with Emily's bridesmaid! Moving on-"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Phoebe yelled.

"Come on Phoebe, he'll remember, we don't really have to tell him," Monica insisted.

"No, you need to tell him!" Phoebe argued.

"Someone tell me!" Ross complained.

"Chandler and Monica had sex in London!!!!" Joey yelled. Everything fell silent as everyone stared at him.

"There you go," Rachel said.

"Joey!" Chandler cried.

"What? You said tell him everything!" Joey complained.

Everyone noticed that Ross's face was bright red. Finally, he managed to speak… "THEY WHAT??? YOU SLEPT WITH MY SISTER? I'M GOING TO-"

"Ross, calm down!" Rachel interrupted, grabbing his arm. "It's okay!"

"OKAY?? THEY….THEY…THEY…"

"We know, we know, and you had this same reaction when you found out before, but you got over it! And you can do that now!"

"Fine!" Ross let go of Chandler, whom he had pinned up against the wall, and sat back down. "But you guys never did it again, right?"

"Er…" Monica said uncomfortable. Chandler sighed and pulled his ring out of his pocket, slipping it onto his finger. Monica did the same.

Ross stared at the identical gold bands. "You guys got MARRIED?"

The other friends braced themselves for a second outburst, but Ross leapt up and threw his arms around Chandler and Monica. "Oh my god, you guys, that is so great! My best friend and my sister!"

"Ross…can't…breathe…" Monica squeaked. Ross quickly pulled back.

"Sorry, I'm just really happy! But I still want to hear what else happened," he added.

"Alright then," Chandler agreed. "Where were we? Ah yes, Vegas! The slot machine capital of the country. Cha-CHING!" Everyone stared at him.

"Maybe I'LL tell it," Monica interrupted. "Okay, Vegas. Chandler and I decide to go for our one-year anniversary, and since Phoebe couldn't go to London with us, she decides that we all should go."

"You bet your ass I did," Phoebe muttered.

"So while we're there, Chandler and I get a little crazy and decide to get married," Monica continued. "So we go to the chapel, and as we're about to go in, you and Rachel run out."

"You got married!" Joey proclaimed.

"What?" Ross laughed. "In Vegas? Were we crazy?"

"Nah. Drunk," Rachel confirmed. "You drew on my face, I drew on your face, I made you drink, you made me drink, it got a little weird."

"So, to make a long story short…" Chandler continued.

"Too late," chimed Phoebe and Joey in unison, high fiving each other.

"…we get back to New York, you promise to get the annulment, you don't, you end up getting divorced," Chandler went on.

"Wait. So that means I've been divorced…" Ross counted on his fingers. "THREE times? Wow, I am such a loser! What woman is EVER going to want to date me again? Not that I want to, of course," he added quickly, glancing at Rachel.

"Oh, we've been down that road already," Phoebe assured him. "The three divorces weren't a problem, it was the fact that you were still in love with Rach…" she trailed off, realizing her mistake. "Oh, no."

"What?" Rachel whispered. "How…how did I not know this?"

"Yeah, how did you not? It was so obvious," said Joey.

"Shut UP, Joey," Monica hissed.

"Anyway," Chandler continued, "that pretty much takes us up to only like two years ago, not bad."

"Oh, are we at Barbados already?" Phoebe asked, surprised.

"No, Pheebs, that was like two months ago," Monica said.

"We went to Barbados? Anything interesting happen there?" asked Ross.

"Nah. You kissed another dinosaur-freak, and Joey and Rachel got together…" Phoebe trailed off again. "Whoops."

Ross stared at her. "What? Phoebe, I…WHAT?"

"Nothing happened," Joey said quickly.

"Yeah, they didn't do it, just made out for a couple days," Phoebe agreed. Everyone glared at her. "Alright, this is the part where someone shuts me up!"

"You, you…you and Joey?" Ross asked Rachel disbelievingly.

"Ross, it's over. Nothing happened, it lasted like two days," Rachel assured him. "It's in the past. Please, don't get upset."

"Don't get upset?" Ross echoed incredulously. "Ten minutes ago I had a girlfriend that I love so much, and now I find out that not only did we break up six years ago, but that she had a fling with one of my best friends?"

"Ross, I-" Rachel tried.

"No, Rachel, no!" Ross cut in. "You know what, I don't think I can take any more of this." He grabbed his coat and walked out the door.

"Oh yeah!" Phoebe sprinted to the door and flung it open. "YOU HAVE A BABY!!!" she screamed down the hallway. They heard a thump on the stairs. Phoebe paused and shut the door. "Somebody stop me!!!!"

Don't have time to say much except SORRY it's been so long! Review please! Thanks!