Chapter Twelve: Taking a Chance
Evangeline stood in the sitting room of her cottage smoothing her light blue gown uneasily. She'd changed her clothes and her mind half a dozen times in the last hour. Remus would be here any moment. What was she going to do? Perhaps she'd know when the time came. Instead of planning everything out, perhaps she should simply go with what felt right when he was here. He wouldn't pressure her into anything, after all. Patience had been an overwhelmingly outstanding quality in the way he'd dealt with her over the last year. No other man would have been half so patient. She snorted to herself. Severus certainly wouldn't have been.
She made an abrupt gesture and mentally yelled at herself. "Stop it! Don't go comparing Remus to Severus! They're very different people. That way only leads to pain. If I can't appreciate Remus for who he is, then I have no right to be with him. No right at all."
Evangeline threw herself down on the couch and stared into the fire, picturing Remus' smiling face in her mind. He's a wonderful man…kind, thoughtful, loving…every woman's dream in so many ways. There was no doubt that she was lucky to have him in her life, and she knew it. She couldn't help but feel so guilty about not loving him the way he deserved to be loved, though. No matter what he said…how could he not resent that eventually? How could he not want more from her?
A smile crossed her face as she stared into the fire and thought about Remus. She really was looking forward to seeing him again. It always made her happy to spend time with him. They'd been together very briefly a couple of weeks ago when he'd come for the Wolfsbane Potion, but they never had time to visit then. Remus was always so nervous…so scared to stay anywhere near her when he'd be transforming so soon. He was always so solicitous of her welfare. That was probably what bothered her the most. Remus was one of the most wonderful people she'd ever known. He deserved to have the best woman to love him, and sadly she knew that that wasn't her. If he settled for her perhaps he'd be missing out on meeting someone who'd be better for him and could love him the way he deserved.
With a sigh she ran a hand through her hair and leaned back against the cushions. Perhaps with time she'd be able to give him more. She really did love him after all, just…not quite the way he wanted. The more time she'd spent with him, the more he'd come to mean to her. Every time they were together she was happier to be with him. Being with him helped so much to fill the empty void in her life. Yes, inviting Remus here…being with him was the right move. It was!
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. She jumped nervously, jarred from her dizzy thoughts and doubts. Standing determinedly, she headed toward the door placing a firm resolute smile on her face. One step at a time, she told herself. Just take it one step at a time. Things will work out the way they're meant to.
With that comforting thought she swung open the door to find a shivering wizard rubbing his hands up and down his arms and smiling a charming smile at her.
"Hi, there pretty lady. I was hoping you might have a cup of something warm to offer a cold werewolf on a rather chilly evening."
The sight of him immediately made her feel better. She laughed and pulled him inside the warm cottage, closing the door firmly behind him.
"I'm sure I can find something to warm you up." She said with a smile.
"This will do for a start." He murmured as he drew her into his embrace and placed a tender kiss on her lips.
For an instant, she froze, then slowly she relaxed against him. Sliding her arms around his neck and burying her hands in his hair, she responded warmly to his kiss, which gradually deepened as they lingered with each other, mingling their breath and tentatively tasting each other's mouths. It was a kiss of exploration. As each one of them was trying to discover just what the other wanted to take and was willing to give.
Finally with a deep sigh of satisfaction, Remus pulled back and smiled down at Evangeline. "That was certainly a wonderful greeting, Angel. I feel much warmer now."
A tentative smile flashed across her pleasantly flushed features. "I'm glad. Let's see if I can get you something that will warm you up even more."
Taking his hand in hers, she led him into the kitchen, redolent with the wonderful smells of dinner cooking. Remus was surprised to see a house elf wearing a Hogwarts tea towel standing by the stove busily preparing a meal. Evangeline addressed the elf. "Rooty would you bring us some tea please? Professor Lupin needs something to warm him up a bit after his trip."
Rooty turned from the stove and nodded agreeably. "Yes, Missy Evangeline. Right away."
Smiling her thanks she led Remus back out of the kitchen and over to the couch in front of the fire. She took his cloak and went and hung it from the hook by the door then returned to Remus' side. When they sat down he turned to her and asked. "Where did the house elf come from, Angel? I thought you sent the ones you had back to school."
"I did. Rooty is a temporary Christmas gift from Minerva. She knew you were coming for the holidays, and she didn't want us to have to try to get our own dinner. I think she's convinced that I can't possibly be able to cook anything. She's always telling me that I need to put on a little weight. So she sent me Rooty for a few days. He'll be leaving the day after Christmas."
Remus smiled. "That was a thoughtful gift. Do you think Minerva might have felt she needed to provide us with a chaperone?"
Evangeline felt her cheeks warm. "Don't be silly, Remus. You've come to stay before, and Minerva hasn't felt we needed any company. We're grown adults for heavens sake, not children."
"I'm not always convinced Minerva sees us that way. I know she still sees me as a student at times."
"Probably because you caused her so much trouble when you were a student, Remus." Evangeline grinned wickedly at him.
He shook his head adamantly and raised his right hand. "Not true! I swear! I never caused Minerva any trouble. She always thought I was charming. I was a prefect after all. There were standards I had to uphold. I wouldn't have wanted to embarrass Gryffindor house in her eyes." He paused and a twinkle came into his eyes. "Not that I was a perfect angel at school, of course. I can't really say that I never caused Filch any trouble. It's a wonder the man will still speak to me. I'll admit that when I returned as a professor, I was a little apprehensive about facing him for the first time, but it all worked out okay…after a few awkward moments."
Evangeline laughed. At this point Rooty appeared with the tea service and laid it on a side table saying that dinner would be ready in half an hour. Then with a bow, he returned to the kitchen.
Evangeline poured Remus a cup of the hot tea and fixed it to his order. Then she sat back into the corner of the couch, slipped off her shoes, and drew up her legs wrapping her arms around them. As he looked at her, Remus couldn't help but think of someone armoring themselves and getting into a defensible position. She was obviously a bit nervous. Well, so was he. This visit could turn out to be a tremendously important one for both of them. Taking things slowly seemed like the best move he could make, so he sat back and relaxed with his tea as he stretched his legs out toward the fire.
"This is wonderful, Angel. Thank you. I feel much warmer now. I've been so busy with the end of term that it feels incredibly nice to just relax for a while. So what have you been up to lately?"
As Evangeline began to unbend a bit while she recounted all the things that had been occupying her days, Remus watched and listened and simply enjoyed being with her again. Drinking in the sight of her and the sound of her and the smell of her along with his tea in front of the warming fire.
Time passed pleasantly and, as usual, far too quickly for Remus. When dinner was ready they went to the kitchen to find that Rooty had set the table for royalty. Fine china and glassware twinkled in the warm candlelight on a snow white tablecloth. Soft soothing music was coming from somewhere, and the meal was cooked to perfection. It all looked rather romantic in fact. Suddenly Rooty was looking less like a chaperone and more like an ally to Remus. Perhaps Minerva was on his side after all he thought with a happy grin.
Once they began their meal and Rooty had made sure that they lacked for nothing, he made himself scarce. It was useless to suggest that he join them. House elves were quite adamant in general about not dining with witches and wizards. Remus hoped he'd taken a plate of food with him, though, because the meal was delicious.
After dinner was over, they returned to the sitting room fire with goblets of wine and pleasantly full stomachs. The two of them sat on the floor in front of the crackling fire and rested their backs comfortably against the couch. For awhile they sat there in companionable silence sipping their wine and listening to Rooty clean up in the kitchen as the soft music continued to flow through the air around them setting a comfortable mood.
When things were finally quiet in the kitchen and Rooty seemed to have gone wherever house elves go when they're on their own time, Remus set his wine glass aside and slipped his arm gently around Evangeline's shoulders, drawing her in closer to him. Savoring the feel of her warm body against his. Being here with her like this felt so much like a beautiful dream that he'd had over and over again. Reality was even more breathtaking in its wonder and anticipation, though.
"It's wonderful to be here with you again, Angel. Thank you for inviting me to come and stay. I've missed you so much." He murmured quietly against her soft hair, which was shining in the reflected light of the fire.
She turned her face up to his and smiled softly at him. "I've missed you too, Remus. It's always nice to have you here. I'm glad you decided to come."
"All you ever had to do was ask me. There's nothing I'd rather do than spend time with you, I hope you know that." He smiled down into her eyes and brought his other hand up to gently stroke her hair and caress her cheek softly. They stared at each other, hardly daring to breathe, hearts pumping madly. Cupping her face with his hand, and slowly, so as to give her time to pull away if she wanted to, he brought his lips down to kiss her once again. He could feel her trembling against him as his lips glided gently over hers.
The kiss was soft and tentative. Her response to him was uncertain, as if she was still of two minds about just how she should react to his advances. With a pang of fear, he pulled back slowly, relinquishing her lips with reluctance. "Am I moving too fast for you, Angel? I don't want to push you into anything you aren't ready for," he said quietly.
Tears glittered in her eyes, and she shook her head. "I thought I was ready, Remus. I'm just still so afraid I'll hurt you. You're such a wonderful person. You deserve someone who loves you unconditionally. Not damaged goods like me."
With a sigh of understanding, he stroked her hair and hugged her against him. "Don't worry about hurting me. You let me worry about what I deserve, okay? All I want is you, Angel. I know how you feel about me. I told you I'd be happy with whatever you could give me. That hasn't changed. I love you…no one else. I don't see you as damaged goods, Evangeline. You're simply the most wonderful person I know. Being with you…loving you…that's all I want. That's all I'll ever want. I promise."
She lifted her head from his chest and smiled up at him as her moist eyes glistened in the firelight. "Oh, Remus." She whispered as she caressed his cheek softly with her hand. "You've been so patient with me. I know it's been frustrating dealing with my doubts. I don't deserve anyone as wonderful as you, but I'm really glad you're here."
With hope filling his heart, Remus smiled down at her. "May I make love to you, Evangeline?" He whispered wistfully.
Staring deeply into his warm eyes seemed to settle her doubts once and for all, and she found herself nodding slowly, suddenly quite sure of what her answer should be. "Yes." She whispered back softly as she slid her arms up his chest to entwine them around his neck. "Oh, yes."
With a sense of wonder, he took her gently into his arms once more and kissed her softly then more passionately as they slipped down to lay in each others arms in front of the warm comfortable fire. Tenderly he kissed her eyelids and her cheeks then continued down the slender column of her throat with soft butterfly kisses as she sighed in contentment at the wonderful feeling building inside of her. It had been so long since she'd felt like this, so long since she'd been held and touched. So very, very long.
Slowly they undressed each other in the golden glow of the firelight. Pausing after the removal of each item of clothing to explore whatever new expanse of warm flesh was now exposed for viewing and touching and kissing. Before long they were both completely naked on the soft rug. Although this wasn't the first time he'd seen Evangeline without clothes, Remus didn't want to dwell on the pain of the last time they were together intimately. This was a new beginning for them, and he only wanted to think of the future and make her happy. To his eyes, she was even more beautiful than he remembered and finally she was in his arms, willingly and hopefully forever. He intended to make the most of it.
When they finally came together it was every bit as wonderful as he'd ever imagined it would be. As far as he was concerned, the stars stood still in the heavens to watch. Nothing could make this moment more perfect for Remus. Here in front of this fire in this lonely cottage on the coast, Remus Lupin had achieved his heart's desire at last. Evangeline Winthrop-Snape was finally his.
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Author's Notes:
Elbereth94: True, last chapter was pretty much setting things up for this chapter. I do think that Sirius has enough intelligence not to say, "I told you so" to Remus. At least I think he does…well, I'm pretty sure anyway. :)
Weasleyweasle: Sigh. Well, as you can see, your worst fears have come to pass. When I started this incredibly lengthy storyline, I had no intention of matching up Remus and Evangeline. But their relationship evolved gradually until it became more than I ever intended. Once that happened, I felt the situation needed some resolution…hence this story. If you can't stand to watch, you might want to skip the next few chapters and drop back in on Chapter 16. Things really begin to move forward quickly from that point. :)
SevyHero: Everyone will be affected by Snape's return. After all this build up, surely you don't think there won't be consequences for what's happened on all sides?
Lina Lupin: There is a lot of difficulty ahead for everyone. I haven't given up on the Snape/McGonagall story…exactly, but I am having major difficulties with it. As I mentioned, it's a humorous piece, and life hasn't been all that humorous this year, so I've had trouble getting in the mood to work on it.
Elaine Lahey: Thanks for your kind words. I had forgotten about Inspector Monk! I did read two or three of those books years ago now. They were very good, although Anne Perry's crimes were always so gut-wrenching that it got to me at times. I think I stopped reading the series for the very silly reason that I preferred the Barrister (Oliver someone?) to Monk as a match for the woman involved, and it was obvious that things weren't going to go that way. :) Did he ever recover his memory?
P. Veronica Tyler: I do believe I said that Remus would get to experience some happiness in his life in this story, and as you can see, the man is blissfully happy at the moment. I never promised "happily ever after".
Dv: Hey, no problem. No one is forcing you to read this. Thanks for your comments; sorry you don't like the story.
Jtyw: He doesn't want to…but he's willing to accept reality. Oh, and it's not IF…it's WHEN Severus comes back, I assure you.
Brittany: Thank you. I'm so glad you like my Snape.