Yeah, Goku was pretty mad at Gohan and stuff… But we all know he'd never hurt Gohan. I know several of you pointed out that Goku wasn't thinking of the pain he caused on his half.
Well, I put this in basic terms. Do you think reasonably when you're upset? I think not. Rash and foolish decisions result from current anger. But anyway, things appear to a little better in this chapter.
Two more things. POV means Point of View, and the timeline now is two weeks since the night the Son family was reunited, ok?
Enough of me talking… Enjoy this chapter if you can…
Learning to Love You
Chapter Ten: Another Chance
Goku's POV
I am finally back where I belong—with my family. However, there is some unwanted tension in the way of happiness. My son has caused the pain I feel. Though I know he acted this way for what I've done, I can't help but feel this anger toward him. I do love Gohan. He's the gift I created with Chi-Chi, and it's always been a pleasure to have him around.
But now Gohan has shown he doesn't need to rely on anyone. His independence burst through the wish he made. Though the tears, pain, and heartache have partially faded away, I am learning to forgive Gohan.
I have to. If I want to be forgiven, I will have to forgive Gohan. I am also the cause of heartache in this family, and Gohan had painfully pointed that out to me.
Sometimes it seems Gohan withstood more than I ever did.
He is human as well, and can't hold all this pressure on his back. So, I will be the first to ease him of some of it. What's gone is gone, and the past year has been hell for everyone, but it is in the past.
So, forgiveness has to come through. I have to…
Chi-Chi's POV
I lay down in my bedroom, unable to obtain sleep. I know I can't, and there's no reason to question it. I'm still in shock of what Gohan has done. When did he form this hatred toward Goku, his own father, the one who helped bring him into the world?
I wish I had noticed even a hint of his detestation. And, I secretly worry, has some of it rubbed off on me? I have never seen Gohan so defensive and rebellious in my entire life.
I knew he was angry with Goku, and that he never was satisfied with me for "siding with him". Kami knows I didn't, but Goku brought up some very good points. I don't want this to turn into something with permanent consequences.
If this family was ever torn apart… If I was ever separated from my boys… I wouldn't know what to do.
Goten's POV
I'm confused again. I was so happy to find out that Goku is my daddy, and I was even happier to know that our whole family was going to be staying together for good. Or so I thought.
Why were Mommy, Daddy, and Gohan screaming at each other? Families don't fight; they only get along! What's the matter with everyone? I'm so scared that I'll be by myself again.
I love Mommy, Daddy, and Gohan, but I can't afford to lose everyone over a problem I don't even know about. I hope everyone will find a way to be okay, so we can be a real family…
Gohan's POV
It's a surprise I'm still awake at this hour. Is there some special reason why I'm breathing now? I knew I had to withstand all the things that would happen to me after what I've done, but I never knew the depth of pain I received from delivering pain.
I've explained all I could, and now I will have to live another day, knowing people will hate me for what I've done, and some of those people are in my family. If I had known that wish would lead to this… I don't know what I would've done.
The scars of the past will take a long time to heal…but exactly how long?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Next Morning…
Fragments of the morning routine were slowly coming together, just as it would have been long ago. Everyone was washed up and ready for the day, and breakfast was on the table. The only thing missing was love. The happiness and harmony found in a family was absent.
Gohan had not come out his room, so only Goten and Goku ate at the breakfast table. After eating, they complimented Chi-Chi of her cooking, and Goku suggested he and Goten go play. A bond between father and son needed to be created.
With Goku and Goten gone, Chi-Chi resumed her schedule of housework, while it was silent from Gohan's locked room.
So many times did Chi-Chi stroll by her eldest son's door, wanting to knock on it gently, so she and Gohan could talk. She had added more to the guilt she knew Gohan already felt, but also she wanted him to be relieved of his pain.
He would die if he held everything in…
However, for a peculiar and frustrating reason, Chi-Chi couldn't bring herself to speak to her son. The motherly part of her wanted to speak with him and renew her bond with him, and another part stung her heart, reminding her of just what Gohan had done to her.
It seemed… It seemed he betrayed her. He was supposed to be the source of her comfort and help during her painful years alone, and he was, but he made this wish behind her back…
The taker of her pain was also the giver of her pain….
Chi-Chi turned away from his door, and glanced at the clock in the hallway. 11:20.
Goku and Goten should be back soon for lunch. Chi-Chi retreated to the kitchen, feeling her heart sink.
How could life ever be the same again with strife in the middle of everything? No, it couldn't be the same. The hearts and emotions of people were twisted to affect the past, present and future. Unwanted emotions also accompanied this.
All because of a wish… That one simple wish.
It was a little after twelve when Goku and Goten returned, Goten parading through the front door with a giant stuffed animal and candy in his arms. Clearly, Goku had spent a little quality time with his son, as well as treat him.
Goku sniffed the air, happily. "Hmmm…You smell that, Goten?"
Goten smelled the air as well, and his cute grin appeared on his face. "Sounds like Mommy's making lunch! Let's go eat, Daddy."
When they arrived in the kitchen, Goten stepped onto the stool near the sink to wash his hands, as Goku washed his hands too. He handed Goten a dishtowel to dry his hands after he dried his own, and then they looked at Chi-Chi, who was taking bread out of the oven.
"Hi, Mommy," Goten said. "Is lunch ready?" He smiled at his mother, who appeared sad and thoughtful for a moment, but then she naturally smiled as a reaction to her son's. "Almost, baby. Did you have fun with your father?"
Goten nodded vigorously, smiling brighter as he explained how he and Goku spent the morning. After he did, he looked down the hallway toward his and Gohan's room.
"I'll go tell Gohan lunch is ready!" he announced, and skipped down the hallway, leaving his parents alone.
After Goten left, Goku looked at Chi-Chi, concerned. "Chi-Chi, is there something wrong? You looked sad for a minute there." Chi-Chi looked up from placing rolls on a plate and smiled wistfully.
"You always seem to read me like a book," she said, and resumed placing rolls on the plate, but Goku grabbed her wrist, and she looked up at him.
Goku frowned. "Is it Gohan?" he asked softly.
***
There was a knock at Gohan's door. Gohan spun around in his desk chair, away from his pile of schoolbooks. He walked over to his door, twisted the doorknob, and walked back to his chair. "Door's open," he said.
Gohan was relieved to know it was Goten behind the door. His little brother looked at him, cheerful as usual. "Lunch is ready, 'Nii-chan." Goten turned to leave, but noticed Gohan wasn't following, and he frowned.
"'Nii-chan? C'mon."
Gohan shook his head and then turned back toward his books. "I'm not hungry," he said. Goten crossed his arms, thoughtful. "Don't you get a break from school? It's not like you have to breathe books too."
Gohan feigned a laugh. "You'll understand when you go to high school."
Goten frowned. "Just kidding. I know when you're hiding something. You can't avoid Mommy and Daddy forever."
Gohan seemed stunned for a moment. Interesting how Goten could tell…
He felt Goten's hand reassuringly on his knee. He looked down into Goten's eyes, shining with hope. "Onii-chan, I might never know what you're feeling or why you do feel like this, but you can't give up and run away from your problems. That's not what Mommy taught us."
He smiled gently. "Wouldn't you like to feel peaceful in our house? You can't lose a relationship with our parents because of a stupid feeling. You've gotta try to make it up to them."
Goten bit his lip, blushing a bit. "Oh… Don't tell Mommy I said the 'S' word, ok?"
Gohan smiled. "Ok." He was amazed at how much Goten had grown. Though he was carefree and naïve like Goku, Goten also had a sensible mind and a wonderful optimistic view of life.
"Also," Goten added. "Daddy wants you to come with me and him so we can have fun together. He says it's a special kind of bond we have to have."
His little stomach growled defiantly, and he sighed. "I'm hungry. Let's go eat now."
Gohan smiled again. "Alright. Let me just finish this one problem."
***
Chi-Chi couldn't hide her expression and her face from her persistent and concerned husband. Whenever there was a problem, it had to be acknowledged. It was just the way Goku was. He wouldn't let a problem go unsolved, continuing to hurt others.
"Yes," she whispered, answering his question. "I've been thinking about our son."
Goku placed his hands on Chi-Chi's shoulders, as she had done to him before. This was their position in which they both knew the circumstance was serious.
"Listen to me, Chi-Chi," Goku started. "I know how it feels too. Gohan's hurt us so badly that I don't even want to talk about it. But if we keep our loss and pain in our minds, that's all we're ever going to dwell on. It's going to hurt us as a family. And look at Goten. You know he had nothing to do with this.
Would you like it if he saw you crying or morose for something you know he doesn't have to deal with?"
Goku saw Chi-Chi's eyes cast away, and he squeezed her shoulders gently so she would look at him.
"You know we can't be angry at Gohan forever, Chi-Chi. You and me… We just can't do it. He's our son. His position doesn't excuse what he's done or the pain he's caused us, but look at us, Chi-Chi."
Chi-Chi looked around sadly. "What?"
Goku smiled at her. "All of us are here. We're a family now. All four of us. It's good we've made it this far. We have to let go of the past, no matter how much it hurts. Do you know how I know this?"
Chi-Chi shook her head.
Goku continued, "Remember how shocked and disbelieving I was when I learned I killed my Grandpa Gohan? That tore my heart. I loved my grandfather, but I killed him. You know that's my past and that it hurt. But when I married you, you helped me get over it. You and I made a life together, looking toward the future.
"That's where we have to look, Chi-Chi. We have to look at our future. Our family's future. The past hurts…a lot. But letting go is the only way to true freedom."
Goku looked at his wife, hoping this had gotten to her. Chi-Chi didn't respond, but looked away, her gaze a mix of sorrow and pensiveness. Goku kissed her forehead. "Think about it, ok? I'm going to spend a little time with Gohan and help him see we can still be a normal family. If no one tries, nothing will happen."
Chi-Chi sighed once Goku left the kitchen. She turned to the stove and put a lid on a pot of stew to let it simmer. Her eyes stared at the bluish heart of the flame beneath the burner. Goku, I wish I were as forgiving as you, she thought, distraught and a little envious.
I want to feel the way you do—so happy, cheerful, and able to let go of pain so easily. You don't let situations overcome you. I don't know how you're able to still live here with us…with me, after everything.
She smiled warmly. I'm reminded of why I love you, though. You always see the good in everything.
***
Gohan felt queasy as he followed closely behind Goku as they walked to a hill near the house. Goku had said he wanted to talk to Gohan, and Gohan suspected something far worse than a reprimand. Gohan looked up at the back of his father as he strolled peacefully.
He was carefree and humming a song, as if nothing happened… As if that night long ago hadn't happened…
Suddenly, Goku stopped walking, and Gohan stopped too. "Here we are," Goku said, as he sat down on the grassy hill. He looked up at a seemingly frightened Gohan, and patted the grass next to him.
"C'mon."
Gohan reluctantly sat, no longer feeling embarrassed, but ashamed and sad, as he looked down at his shoes. "Dad… Do you hate me?" he asked quietly.
Goku looked up at Gohan's face, as if he had been stunned at such a question. "No, son, why would I?"
Gohan's eyes narrowed. "Don't rub it in. You know why… I want you to be honest. I'm ready to hear it."
"Gohan," Goku said softly, and touched Gohan's shoulder, feeling Gohan tense. "I am being honest. I don't hate you. We didn't come on good terms at first and it came across to you as hatred, but I don't hate you."
"But you hate what I've done," Gohan said.
"Hmm," Goku mused hesitantly, as if he didn't want to say anything. "I've thought about it, and I see why you did it, Gohan. I wasn't thinking of you or your mother while I was dead. I thought Goten would be enough.
"I thought leaving your mother pregnant with Goten would help her get through what was happening. I wanted her to remember me, and I had no idea it was hurting her. And I had no idea it was hurting you. I'm sorry, Gohan."
Gohan's eyes widened. "Why are you saying sorry? I should be apologizing… I've hurt you, Goten, and Mom too."
Goku sighed. "It's very complicated, but I'm willing to work things out. Gohan… I've missed seven years of your life, and Goten's whole life. I don't want to go another day without being your father and making things right."
Gohan nodded. "But why did you stay dead, Dad? Why didn't you want to come back?"
Goku sighed again, except it was clearer that he was sorrowful. "I know… I know your mother's going to ask the same thing. This is why I can't really be angry with you, Gohan. You wouldn't have made the wish if I had come back. I was the cause of your and your mother's suffering.
"I thought of the world's condition while I was dead, and that there's no point in hurting my family by coming back just to leave all over again to go fight and possibly die. But I realize that wasn't wise, so I'm asking for your forgiveness, Gohan."
Gohan nodded and smiled slowly. He hugged Goku. "Thanks," he whispered. His heart was lifted as he realized Goku and Goten didn't hate him, especially Goku. Relief spread through his body and he held back his tears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Goten was cleaning up his toys when Goku and Gohan returned in the evening. After dinner, he looked up at them curiously. "Is everything ok between you and Gohan, Daddy?"
Goku smiled. "Yeah. We just had a talk and some confessions, and we're fine now."
Goten looked confused. "What are concessions?"
"Confessions," Gohan corrected. "It's like when you admit something. And I do have a few more to make…" He looked toward the kitchen, where Chi-Chi was cleaning up the remains of dinner.
"Mom, can you come over here for a sec?"
From the kitchen sink, Chi-Chi turned around to see her three boys looking expectantly at her. She nodded slightly and dried her hands on the dishtowel, walking into the living room.
"First of all, I'd like to apologize to everyone here," Gohan started. "I'm sorry, Mom, that I was angry with you about the promise. You were right. When we didn't know Dad, you said he couldn't live here, but I was so used to him by then, that I believed my own thoughts of him living here. I'm sorry."
Chi-Chi looked down, secretly fuming. Sorry was all? Just those words could erase the heartache he's caused her? Yet, another part of Chi-Chi reminded her of what Goku told her. Kami, it was going to so hard to forgive him and play a normal motherly role in his life…
Gohan looked at his father next, and they both shared a look in which Gohan felt he had to confess again. "Dad, I'm sorry for making the wish and all the effects of it. I wasn't thinking… In actuality, I'm glad you're my Dad, and I hope things would return as they would years ago."
Goku nodded, understanding.
Gohan looked down at Goten next. "I'm sorry for not telling you about Dad. I should've told you the truth, even when I was going through a terrible time in my life. I hope I can get forgiveness and another chance from you, Mom and Dad."
Goten nodded sadly. "I'll give you a second chance. Everyone deserves second chances." Then Goten spoke quietly. "Actually… I have something to say too."
Goten walked up his mother, and gazed at her sadly. "Mommy, I'm sorry for saying I hated you. I don't. You're the best Mommy in the whole world, and I love you." He embraced her leg and began to cry softly, but Chi-Chi picked up her youngest son and dried his tears.
Secretly, she was mixed with confusion and compassion. Kami, he held all that in? How couldn't I see his suffering behind his mask of optimism? I should have done this a long time ago… I should've held him close like this.
Chi-Chi held Goten a little tighter, and she was relieved to know neither of her sons hated her. Her biggest fear was no more… Chi-Chi had dried Goten's tears, but now she had to make sure she wasn't releasing any of her own.
"It's okay, sweetie," she whispered to Goten. "I forgive you. Let's forget any of this ever happened, okay? Let's just try to be a family." Goten nodded and sniffed. "K."
***
"O-Oreo?"
Gohan chuckled. "No, Orion. That constellation is Orion, Goten." He pointed up a little below Orion. "Look, there's his belt."
"Wow!"
Gohan had suggested he and Goten go camping tonight so they could bond closer, plus Gohan knew his parents needed time alone. Gohan and Goten had packed a few things, and set up a tent in the backyard. After stargazing and shadow puppets, it was silent for a moment until Goten spoke.
"Hey, 'Nii-chan?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you tell me a story about Daddy?" Goten asked shyly. "Mommy used to tell me, but then she stopped…" Then he seemed thoughtful. "It suddenly seems that Mommy's not too happy around Daddy. Why do you think so?"
Gohan looked away. He knew why. It wasn't that Chi-Chi wasn't happy around Goku, but Gohan could tell there was some discomfort sensed between the two. Gohan knew most of the discomfort originated from the consequences of the wish, but he hoped that somehow their relationship would turn out ok…
And what if it doesn't?
Gohan nearly shuddered at that thought. Kami, he wished he had thought this far ahead. What IF things didn't get better? Would everyone have to go to see some certified psychologist or psychiatrist?
What therapy could associate with the supernatural?
Gohan knew his parents had a special bond, and that their love was so strong, but through his wish he broke that bond. He knew that Chi-Chi thought of Goku everyday while he was dead, and that the bond was still there.
But he broke it because of the wish. How do you put a bond back together?
"'Nii-chan?"
Goten's worried voice penetrated through Gohan's thoughts, and he looked over at his little brother. Goten blinked sadly, knowing he didn't get a response to his inquiry, and associated that with bad news.
He sat up and stared down at his intertwined hands hesitantly, as if he had to stop his tongue from saying something sharp. He heard Gohan sit up as well, and he quietly spoke.
"Are we not going to be a family anymore? Daddy's home for good with us and Mommy, but if they aren't happy then-"
Goten was silenced as he felt Gohan's arms around him. "Don't talk like that, Goten," Gohan whispered as he looked up at the stars. "Everything will be okay. Mom and Dad will be all right. Don't worry about anything. Would you like to hear a story about Dad now?"
Gohan could feel the friction of Goten nodding against his chest, and he pulled Goten's blanket over him.
Gohan smiled with pride. "Dad was the strongest and bravest person in the whole world. He was pure and a good friend." Goten nodded again. "Mommy used to say that about Daddy too…"
Gohan continued, "Dad was the best fighter and the protector of planet Earth. He never gave up and always found a way to make people happy. He went on great adventures and fought the toughest bad guys at that time. Like the time with General Blue…"
***
As Chi-Chi was dressing into her nightgown, she became thoughtful. She had fantasized the day Goku would return, and he was waiting in the bedroom for her right now. A part of Chi-Chi wanted to go out there and do things to him, but another part was unsure.
Goku hadn't been very thoughtful towards her in death. Would falling in his arms convey the message that everything was okay?
No, it wasn't okay. He hurt me in a way I've never felt before. He truly left me alone all the seven years he was dead. Goten is a treasure, but he doesn't make up all the time we lost. Now that it's just us, it's time to talk, and not do something else I want to do, Chi-Chi thought.
She had once been afraid of getting close to Goku for that very reason. He breaks her heart, she suffers, he consoles her, it's okay, and then it happens all over again… This wasn't good.
Though a very strong and aching part of her wanted to be with Goku, Chi-Chi made her desire subside. If she just went out there and did what she wants with Goku, he would never understand the depth of her pain.
Because of this, she distanced herself from Goku, though it was painful. She had rejected him before and cast him away, and now she does it again, though it isn't as obvious.
Well, Goku had noticed when Chi-Chi didn't even get in the same bed with him. He was confused at this action, but quietly watched and waited for an explanation. Nothing…
Chi-Chi navigated through the dark house to the couch in the living room, and she was about to lie down, but she felt a warm mass already there, and it seized her wrist. She gasped, and her natural reaction was to pull away, but the grip only tightened around her wrist.
Her heart pounded hard in her chest, and even more so at a dark and stern voice.
"Chi-Chi…"
To be continued…
Chapter Eleven: Complications and Freedom
A/N 2:
(1) *Sigh* Yes, I'm stopping it here… For now. I had to fit in another cliffhanger, ok? I couldn't help myself…
(2) Um, next chapter's kinda "mature" or "dramatic" if you want to call it that. I prefer the term "mature". I think some of you out there know what I mean…