Hi again. *Looks at publish date* Hmm, just about 4 months already. Amazing. Well, I hope everyone had a good holiday and weekend. I want to thank you all for the reviews. They were very encouraging. As for Jessica C… Goku's actions will be explained in this chapter. Even so, we know Goku has a wild side, even if it's accompanied by clueless-ness. ^^;
Enjoy.
Learning to Love You
Chapter Twelve: Amae
Rays of light from the rising sun shone in West City, coating the city's buildings, and a dome-shaped building, where the Briefs family resides. Trunks was the first to awaken at this hour. He climbed out of his bed, unable to go back to sleep. He knew why.
Trunks rubbed his eyes, yawning, and paced down the hallway to the bathroom. He quietly washed up for the day and headed to the kitchen, but he stopped suddenly as his eyes lingered at another bedroom door.
His parents.
Well, to be exact, Bulma's. Trunks stopped by the door and opened it slowly. He tiptoed near the large bed, where his mother lay. She moaned at the pathway of light from the door shining on her, and she rolled over.
Trunks then saw that his mother had been crying in her sleep. Tears shone in the light as they slowly fell down her cheek. Trunks wiped it away and kissed her cheek.
I know you're thinking about Dad again, he thought. I'm sorry this had to happen to you…
Trunks retreated to the kitchen to get started on breakfast for his mother. He knew that she was still depressed about Vegeta's absence, and that she didn't feel like cooking. That was okay. Trunks said he would do it for her.
Trunks opened the fridge and took out two eggs, thinking an omelet would be a nice breakfast, and when he closed the fridge door, he saw his grandfather enter the kitchen, yawning. He must be here for coffee.
Dr. Briefs put on his glasses and then wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion. "Trunks? What are you doing up at this hour?"
"I couldn't go back to sleep," Trunks explained. "And I'm starting on breakfast for Mom. She's still too sad to cook."
Then he looked confused. "Shouldn't you be in the lab, Grandpa? What are you doing here?"
Dr. Briefs shook his head, laughing. "Not this early. Even great minds like myself need coffee to energize them for the day! Besides, I can finish all my work just fine… Without your mother's help."
He sighed, and Trunks frowned. Because Mom thinks working in the lab is her escape from thoughts of Dad.
Dr. Briefs smiled and took the two eggs from Trunks. "You're a good boy. But don't you worry about cooking anything. I'll make something for your mother. You go run along and play or something."
"Ok…"
Trunks left the kitchen and went to the medicine chest in the bathroom. He opened it and started looking for the aspirin. Mom's gonna need it when she wakes up, he thought. He found the aspirin bottle and climbed down from the sink.
He headed upstairs, but saw his mother's work desk against the wall. It was piled with important papers, and some had dropped to the floor. Trunks picked up the papers and put them back on the desk, and then something caught his eye.
He reached for a colorful brochure under some papers and read the front page.
Orange Star Elementary? Mom's sending me to school? Trunks shrugged, folded the brochure, and put it in his pocket.
Vegeta wouldn't have cared about his son's education, but apparently, Bulma had plans for Trunks to get an education, and probably help her run Capsule Corps. when he gets older.
No problem, Trunks thought and cleaned up Bulma's desk a bit. He headed over to a bookshelf near the desk and looked up at it in awe. "Anything easy here besides technical lab stuff?"
Trunks spotted a workbook near the bottom of the shelf. He pulled it out and skimmed through it. It looked about his level. Trunks got a pencil and sat at the desk.
If I study hard to get into the school, Mom will be happy, and then that will be something less to worry about besides Dad. I hope I make it in. I'm doing it for you, Mom…
Trunks looked out a nearby window and down a street, where busy cars were already zooming by. "I wonder if Goten's studying too…"
***
"See if you can catch this one, 'Nii-chan!"
Goten jumped backwards and then ran forward toward a red ball on the grass. He kicked it hard, sending it flying towards Gohan. He gleefully watched the ball soar above Gohan's head.
The two were playing kickball in the backyard, and Goten was determined to kick the ball to where even Gohan couldn't catch it. So far, his older brother was successful in every catch.
But now, the ball simply landed and rolled past Gohan's feet.
Goten looked up at Gohan, who was staring at the grass, stone-faced. "Huh? 'Nii-chan!"
Gohan didn't hear Goten. He wasn't concentrating. His thoughts weren't on this game, but on his parents. Gohan was grateful that things between he and Chi-Chi were okay, but could he say the same between Goku and Chi-Chi?
He wasn't sure.
He wasn't sure if Goten had heard or not, but Gohan was definitely sure he heard stern, raised voices last night. His parents had another fight, he guessed. He hoped it still wasn't because of his wish.
Nah, it couldn't be. Everything was forgiven…
Gohan realized it could be Goku. Yeah, it had to be. It was Goku's decision to stay dead and that it broke Chi-Chi's heart. He remembered talking to Goku and Goku had said his mother would ask why he had stayed dead.
"Yoo-hoo? 'Nii-chan!!"
Gohan jerked his head up and saw Goten looking at him, tilting his head. "What's wrong? I thought we were playing ball?" Gohan looked at the red ball by his feet and picked it up. He tossed it in the air and kicked it farther than Goten, and he went to fetch it.
As he did, Gohan looked left at his house. He wondered what was going on inside….
***
Sleep was still captivating a sorrow-stricken Saiyan, who shivered in dreamland. He rolled over in the bed and finally woke up, due to how cold he was. Goku blinked and grabbed the blanket that had drooped to the floor.
He picked it up and placed it back on the bed, and then he realized something.
Chi-Chi wasn't next to him.
Goku looked down, crestfallen. If things were still okay between them, he thought Chi-Chi would've been glad to snuggle closer to warm him up. He would wrap his arm around her waist in gratitude and get closer as well…
Oh, what was he thinking?
That certainly wouldn't happen now, Goku thought. She's still hurt from last night…
Goku sighed. He wished he could talk to Chi-Chi, but thoughtless talk would lead them nowhere. Goku needed time to think too, to get his thoughts and feelings in check.
Feelings, hah…
Goku closed his eyes in regret. He wished he had better control of his feelings. He remembered when he aggressively made love to Chi-Chi, despite her desire not to. He ignored her pleads to have conversation and fulfilled his desire in unity.
Irony slapped Goku in the face now as he realized he wanted to talk to her, to settle things, but why in the world would Chi-Chi want to now?
What you sow is what you reap, Goku glumly remembered a wise saying.
Once washed up and ready, Goku retreated to the kitchen in hopes to find Chi-Chi, but she wasn't there either. However, he did see a folded piece of paper lying on the table.
Went to the store. I'll be back in an hour or so.
Chi-Chi
Goku sighed as his stomach growled. Man, he wished she were here to make him something to eat. He figured he would have to get something for himself. In a few moments, Goku was morosely eating a bowl of sugary cereal that Goten insisted on buying, but it wasn't as tasty as Chi-Chi's wonderful meals.
After breakfast, Goku went to the backyard and found Goten and Gohan playing ball.
"Hey, Daddy! Wanna play kickball with me and 'Nii-chan?" Goten asked, grinning in hopes that he would.
Goku smiled softly. "Not now, son. I've got something to do. If your mom asks where I am, tell her I had to go somewhere. I'll be back later."
Goten whimpered in defeat and didn't notice Goku fly away, but Gohan did, and caught up with him.
Goku noticed Gohan was following him, and he stopped, turning around. "What are you doing? Go take care of your brother, Gohan. Your mother is counting on you."
Gohan looked concerned. "Dad, what's wrong? You seem down this morning." He hoped he could get Goku to talk about Chi-Chi, but Goku shook his head. "I'm fine. Now attend to Goten. Go now."
Gohan didn't believe him, and was about to question him again, but the look on Goku's face told him otherwise. He nodded slowly, though he was still uneasy.
"Ok, Dad…"
Once Gohan was out of his sight, Goku flew to the hill where he had once talked with Gohan. A lake was sparkling in the sun below, and he stared at it, remembering the fun and romantic times he and Chi-Chi would swim in it.
He wished he had seen this coming. He knew Chi-Chi might be upset about his reasons to back up his decisions, but he wished he saw this dilemma coming.
Unlike before, Chi-Chi would not be silenced by simple explanations. No. This time it seemed she was fed up with what she called 'excuses' and let her husband know that this time he had sliced her right to the heart.
And now, it seemed that was all he ever did to her. He hurts her more than he makes her happy. That's not what a husband does to his wife, especially if Goku claims to love Chi-Chi as much as he says…
It hit him right then.
He loved her, but he let his love for her be second. How could Chi-Chi have known her husband loved her if he never explained anything to her? Most of the time, he would try to edge out of sticky situations and not try to say much of anything else.
It wasn't that he was afraid of Chi-Chi. He just didn't know what else to do. The one thing he was afraid of was seeing her hurt.
The only way to not see her hurt was to show his love for her, firstly, but it was hard to do that when he was also deemed 'savior of the world.'
And if his love wasn't first, then pain replaced it, and that is what he gave to his wife. Pain.
Apologies and 'I love you' couldn't compensate for the constant pain that was delivered to Chi-Chi.
Now what was he going to do?
Goku brought his knees up to his chin and wrapped his arms around his legs. He groaned as he hung his head, never feeling so hopeless and lost. "Man, I really messed this one up…"
***
It was late morning when Chi-Chi returned from the grocery store, and she came home to an empty house. Not suspecting anything yet, she placed the bags of groceries in the kitchen and called her sons in to help her put them away.
Gohan and Goten parked their shoes on the mat outside the back door and came in to help. As they washed their hands, Chi-Chi asked, "Boys, do you know where your father is at?"
Goten looked up at Gohan, as if he had asked that question himself. Gohan looked down, drying his hands now. "Dad said he had to go somewhere and that he'd be back later."
"Oh," Chi-Chi said flatly, and then turned to put some dairy products in the refrigerator. She wondered if she was too hard on Goku last night… She clearly remembered.
~*Flashback*~
He wiped at his eyes, which became moist with his own tears. "I…I try to be a good husband to you, but you don't like the way I do it…"
He stared down at his hands. "What am I doing wrong? Why can't I make you happy?"
"Goku…"
Chi-Chi took Goku's hand in hers. "Don't be ridiculous. You do make me happy."
"Not like a husband should," Goku responded. "I used to think I knew how, but I realized I didn't do it right and that you cried. It made me wonder if I was any good for you; if I really ever loved you…"
"What?!" Chi-Chi interrupted, squeezing Goku's hand in anger. She growled and threw Goku's hand away from hers. "You wondered if you ever really loved me?!" she repeated incredulously.
"No, it's just that-"
"That's just what you said," Chi-Chi replied, her voice shaky. "You mean, after all we've been through, minus the wish, and all these years we've been married, you weren't sure if you loved me?! I don't blame you for not loving me sometime after we married, but I thought you meant it after you told me you loved me for the first time. But you're kidding now, right? Oh Kami…"
She buried her face in her hands and wept bitterly.
"Chi-Chi, that's not what I meant… The truth is that I never thought you were happy with me, so I wondered if my feelings for you were fake. But I…" Goku trailed off with a sigh, trying to put his thoughts together.
Chi-Chi wiped at her eyes, sniffing. "I should've never arrived at the tournament looking for you. You had no idea. You lied, Goku. You said that you wouldn't have any troubles if you married me and had Gohan and Goten. But you do, because you're battling the turmoil deep within you. 'Do I love her or not'? I also made you a father too early. Even now, you are only understanding how to take care of Goten."
She sighed shakily and lay down, giving Goku her back. "Don't speak to me, Goku. Just…Goodnight."
"You didn't let me finish," Goku said sternly. "You can't just dismiss this and do your own thing after saying what you want to say."
Chi-Chi sat up and crossed her arms. "Fine! What is it?"
"I was saying that those feelings I had were in the past. I now know that I love you. Let's not make this difficult, Chi-Chi. I told you I don't feel like arguing…"
Still, Chi-Chi's tough exterior wasn't about to be destroyed. "I see," she said. "And you think I felt like living seven years without you? Do you think I felt like being lonely and not having you near me this whole time?"
Goku growled in frustration. "We went over this already. I said I was sorry. Why are you still so stubborn about it?"
Chi-Chi laughed sarcastically. "Me stubborn? Hah! You REFUSED to return to your own family, your first priority! Who's the stubborn one, Goku?"
"We both were," he answered. "I really don't like it when you're angry, Chi-Chi. You're prettier when you're happy. So can we forget about this and just start over?"
"Flattery won't save this," Chi-Chi said, and then felt tears sprout forth again. "And you want me to 'just forget about it'? I can't. I can't let go of things as easily as you do."
"Will you try?" Goku asked, his voice cracking her exterior.
A response Goku had not been expecting had reached his ears. "That's just it," Chi-Chi stated. "Everything for you is so simple. Nothing has depth for you. You think that just because you see things fit, it works out for everyone else."
Goku was confused, but he answered cautiously, "I thought that's what you liked about me. I wasn't like you, and I'm able to see the good in everything."
"That's true," Chi-Chi whispered, and then stiffened when she felt Goku's arms wrapped around her. "What are you doing?"
She felt his warm breath on her cheek, and his hair tickle her face, as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "I'm doing what you want, right?" he whispered in her ear. "You wanted me to be near you."
Chi-Chi released herself from Goku's grasp and sat at the edge of the bed, crossing her arms and legs. "Not now. I need to be alone now."
"But-"
"I need to!" she said sternly, unknowingly startling Goku. He hadn't seen his wife this upset, and with her back turned to him, she couldn't see the confusion and hurt on Goku's face.
Alone…
Is that what she really wanted? Had she learned to live without him as a necessity? Didn't she need him anymore? It scared Goku to think of the possibilities. All he could do was comply with Chi-Chi's request, and quietly slip out of the room.
Only when he was nowhere in sight did Chi-Chi allow herself to cry. It was past midnight now, and she was thinking of the argument she had with Goku.
Why was this so hard?
Intense sorrow swallowed her whole, and she refused to cry in front of Goku. She hung her head and shed her tears. She hated this. Maybe Goku was right. Maybe she was the stubborn one.
It wasn't that she didn't want to forgive Goku, but this pain attached to her like a baby duckling, following the first thing it saw after birth.
When this pain was expressed, an unwilling side of Chi-Chi emerged, even when she tried to suppress it…
~*Flashback Ends*~
Chi-Chi sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was depressing just to even think about it. She left the last bag of groceries for her sons to put away, and began to recede to her room, not hearing her youngest child's request for lunch.
"Mommy, can you-"
Goten trailed off, feeling Gohan's hand on his shoulder. He looked up at him, and Gohan's confident eyes met his. "I'll make us something to eat. Mom needs some time alone, ok?"
"Ok…"
Gohan heard his parents' bedroom door shut, and he remembered how his mother looked right now. Her unfocused eyes were clouded with confusion and worry, and her body seemed tense. Gohan could only hope that whatever was going on would fade, so his mother could feel at peace.
Chi-Chi entered her bedroom, and noticed it seemed the same as before. There was Goku's wrinkled half of the bed, and one of his shirts on the floor. The trait of cleanliness urged Chi-Chi to make the bed and pick up Goku's shirt.
She held the soft material of his shirt in her hands, and noted Goku's scent, and how it always seemed to soothe her. But not now. She remembered of how she had held his shirt close to her before, and his scent wasn't there.
He was far away, just as it felt he was now.
Chi-Chi folded the shirt and put it away, collapsing on the bed afterwards. She sighed and gazed up at the ceiling, her eyes following the ceiling fan's spinning blades.
Did Goku really go somewhere or has he run away? Is he ok? Oh, what are you thinking? Of course he's okay. Gohan wouldn't lie to you…
Chi-Chi rolled over and saw where Goku would usually lay. His scent wafted from the pillow too, and Chi-Chi oddly felt relaxed. Her mind remembered the sweet memories of her time alone with Goku, in and out of their bedroom…
***
Bulma ascended a flight of stairs, taking her out of the lab and into the foyer of Capsule Corps. She rubbed her eyes, needing an energy drink to revitalize her. On her way to the kitchen, she raised her eyebrows in confusion as she looked into the living room.
She blinked, wondering if she really saw her son at her desk.
Bulma smiled once she saw her son, reading a schoolbook, not noting her presence. She wondered where this came from.
"Trunks?"
Trunks looked up. "Hi, Mom." Bulma asked what he was doing, and Trunks smiled a bit. "Well, I figured I'd study to get into the school you want to send me to. I guessed that if I passed the entrance exam, you'd be happy."
Bulma smiled again, touched at her son's intent. Lately he's been a great help in everything, and being responsible in what he does. "Thank you, son. You've already done enough for me."
She ruffled Trunks' hair and went to the kitchen, and her son watched her go, hoping that she was proud of what he did. Bulma seemed a bit livelier at this, and that made Trunks happy.
He knew she'd be ok when Vegeta is here again.
Come home soon, Dad, Trunks thought, and continued reading.
A little while later, the doorbell rang. Mrs. Briefs answered it and beamed at cute Goten at the door. "Hello, sweetheart. What brings you here today?" Goten smiled. "Hi, Bulma's Mom. I came by to see if the Dragon Radar was here. Is it ok if I used it?"
Mrs. Briefs scratched her head in confusion. "The Dragon's what? Um, I think it'd be best if you asked my husband about that. He's in the next room."
"Ok," said Goten, and found Dr. Briefs in an office. "Hi, Bulma's Dad!"
Dr. Briefs turned around. "Hey there, kiddo. What're you doing here?"
Goten looked around at Dr. Briefs' pile of important things, and some junk, and frowned slightly. "Um, I was gonna use the Dragon Radar. Can I borrow it please?" He hoped it wasn't buried in the pile of junk.
Dr. Briefs seemed thoughtful. "Dragon Racecar? Uh…"
"No, no!" Goten said. "I need the Dragon Radar! Do you know where it is?"
Dr. Briefs looked confused, and Goten's face ran blank. "Do you even know what it is?"
Dr. Briefs sweatdropped. "How about I ask Trunks what you're talking about? Trunks!"
Trunks soon scurried down the hallway and entered his grandfather's office. He was surprised that Goten was here. "Hey, Goten. What are you doing here?"
Goten explained that he needed the Dragon Radar, and Trunks simply found it on the bookshelf near Dr. Briefs' head. He gave it to Goten, and then asked, "Hey, Goten, what do you need the Dragon Radar for?"
Goten smiled and simply explained, "Your Dad is gonna come home."
Trunks smiled and placed a hand on Goten's shoulder. "Thanks. You really are my best friend…"
Goten put the Dragon Radar in his pocket and gave Trunks a thumbs up before dashing away, almost tripping Mrs. Briefs in the hallway. She had a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in her hands, and asked Goten if he was leaving so soon.
"Aren't you going to have some cookies and milk?" she yelled over her shoulder.
"No time, Bulma's Mom, but thank you!" Goten's voice faded away as he exited Capsule Corps.
Once outside, Goten hopped into the passenger's seat of Gohan's air car. "Got it?" Gohan asked him. Goten nodded and held it in Gohan's sight. "Now onward to Kame Island!"
***
Night had arrived once Chi-Chi had finished dealing with her sons, worrying about where they had been for the past five hours. Right now, she knew they were in bed, but she kept hearing noises, as if someone else were in the house…
Cautious, Chi-Chi pulled the slipping straps of her nightgown back on her shoulders, and was about to slink out of bed, but the bedroom door opened.
It was Goku.
Goku saw Chi-Chi let out a sigh of relief, and that the strap of her nightgown slinked down her shoulder, giving a view of her exposed skin that made Goku stare.
He saw Chi-Chi's eyes on him and looked away, shaking his head, as if he were scolding himself.
He went to his dresser, pulled out a pair of boxers, and grabbed a few other things. He began to walk away, but the silence was shattered suddenly.
"Goku?"
Chi-Chi's gentle voice was present to Goku's attention as he stopped in his tracks.
"Where are you going?"
Goku clutched his boxers tightly in his hands, wishing she hadn't asked. This was going to hurt, but if she wanted an explanation, then fine…
Goku turned around and looked at her, trying to hide the pain in his eyes. "I'm letting you have the bed. You can have everything you want, even the boys."
Chi-Chi's eyes widened, and her heart began to gain speed. What was he talking about? Right then, she knew something was seriously wrong…
"Goku, come here."
The reluctant Saiyan didn't obey, and kept his sorrowful look on the carpet. It was silent for a few seconds until he heard Chi-Chi speak again. "Fine, don't come here, but tell me where you've been all day."
"At the hill and lake," Goku said simply, but his voice was dull, as if he had been drained of his energy…
He kept his gaze on the carpet, and spoke quietly, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, Chi-Chi, and I realize what I'm doing just isn't cutting it. I failed you as a husband. I didn't know what I was doing when I married you, and it took me a long time to understand you and get the hang of a husband's duties.
"But I know I'm not doing it right. It's not that I don't know how. I think I do, but change has meddled in with everything."
He looked up at her, confused and sad. "You're not the same woman I left seven years ago, Chi-Chi. I noticed that, but if you look at me, you'll know I haven't changed at all."
Chi-Chi didn't like the way this was starting, or the melancholy tone in Goku's voice, but she was willing to try to understand where Goku was hinting at. "What do you mean? You told me yourself that Saiyan's physical appearance doesn't-"
"That's not what I meant," he sternly interrupted her. His eyebrows drew together in anger and guilt. "I haven't changed at all… I'm so heartless, I only care about fighting, right?"
***
Goku looked up at his wife, and it shocked Chi-Chi to see his eyes cloudy with tears. "How could you love me?" he whispered. Surprise and anger overcame Chi-Chi and she glared at him.
"What? Are you saying that I DON'T love you? How could you doubt it? I love you more than-"
"Not that," Goku cut her off. "I mean, how could you love someone who doesn't even try to improve as a husband? Don't you see that I make the same mistakes? I keep hurting you and try the same methods of consoling you, but you end up hurt later."
This was making no sense to Chi-Chi. What had happened to the optimism Goku had when she had her concern with Gohan? What about everything he told her? He had said they needed to look at the future. And now Goku certainly wasn't looking at the future…
Chi-Chi was about to say something, but she saw Goku do something else.
He turned away. "This is why I thought about our circumstance today. The truth is… I've been nothing but a burden to you. Why would you want to stay by someone who keeps hurting you? You wouldn't. So, I think it'd be best if I lived at my Grandpa Gohan's place. I don't want to cause you any more pain, Chi-Chi. I'm sorry…"
Goku tried to exit the bedroom, but his grip was weak, and he let go of what he was carrying, as if he lost all strength to hold anything. All he could do was stand there, feeling his heart crack with every beat.
He heard Chi-Chi climb out of bed, and he turned around slowly. He looked confused as Chi-Chi stared desperately at him.
This was stupid! Chi-Chi remembered when she felt all alone during the seven years Goku was dead. Her Saiyan bond with Goku had been broken, and she felt tormented, torn limb from limb, and the way she does now: desperate. Wouldn't Goku feel the same thing if he left?
Seeing him in pain always took some sort of payment in the soul of Chi-Chi, and just imagining him going through that… It brought tears to her eyes. No, she and Goku had too much now to just throw away. She wouldn't let it be tossed.
"…Don't," she started shakily. "Don't be unreasonable." She sniffed, feeling herself grow emotional.
"I would be hurt deeper if you left me. I want to be by your side. Always. I learned why you do what you do, even though sometimes it's hard for me to accept. But if you ever left me…"
Chi-Chi wiped at her eyes, and hadn't noticed Goku hung his head. She continued, "Please don't. It'd be so wrong… Our children still need their father."
She looked up at him, but only saw his head hang in defeat. Chi-Chi brought her hands to Goku's face, and she had to use everything she had to stop herself from flinching when she felt Goku's tears wet her fingers.
She brought his face up so he can look at her, and she brushed his tears away with light touches of her fingertips. Lastly, she held his face in her hands and looked into his eyes.
"I still need my husband."
Goku gazed at her sadly. "But Chi-Chi, I-"
He grunted, as he felt himself being slammed against the wall, and then moaned softly as he felt Chi-Chi kissing him passionately, letting him know she meant what she said.
In that kiss, Goku could feel Chi-Chi's sincerity, and the love she had for him, and he felt himself relax, and his own desire begin to build up. When Chi-Chi pulled away, she stroked the side of his face gently.
"I still do," she whispered softly.
"Really?" he whispered back. Chi-Chi smiled. "Really." She was about to lean into his chest, but she felt Goku tilt her chin up so she can look at him. His expression was only giving off one vibe, and that was desire.
He pressed his lips against hers in a powerful kiss that soon caused her to melt in his arms.
As the kiss deepened, and hands roamed, Goku could feel the blood rush to his loins, and he knew Chi-Chi could feel the result of it. She blushed as she pulled away. "Um…"
Goku growled softly. "I'm sorry, Chi-Chi, but I… I have this urge to do things to you, and I want to obey it, but…"
Chi-Chi only secretly smiled, and took Goku's hand in hers. She didn't hear Goku question her as she led him to their bed. Once they sat in it, Chi-Chi took his hand again.
"Before we go there," Chi-Chi started, feeling her cheeks burn. "I want to tell you something. It's about last night."
Goku looked at her, waiting, and she continued, "I'm sorry. I…I only thought of myself. I had harbored all this pain since you died and now that I'm talking to you, I let it all out and hurt you… I've hurt you before too, and not just the screaming…
"I can't imagine how insane you must've gone when Gohan and I thought you were a stranger. You tried to convince us you were related to us, but it wouldn't stick. Look at me… All these years I've been married to you and NOW I realize how much I've hurt you."
She pulled her hand away from Goku's. "I'm sorry. I…I'm glad you're my husband, and I do love you."
Goku seemed almost perplexed; he hadn't known Chi-Chi felt this way at all. Then he felt he knew what to do. He faced Chi-Chi. "Things have always been hard for us, if not weird. At least we would always find a way to go through our circumstances together. I'm sorry about last night too. Um, I don't know what came over me. I just really missed you…"
Chi-Chi blushed. "I suppose I forgot those Saiyan ways…"
Goku laughed, causing Chi-Chi to smile, but then she eyed him shyly. "I don't really blame you… It had been seven years, six months and three weeks. And… I miss those Saiyan ways too… I remember the first time you acted like that and scared me out of my skin. But it was all good…"
Goku smiled. "I want us to be the way we were. I missed a lot while I was dead, and I want to try to make things better. I don't want to make promises to you that you think will break. But… I want another chance at loving you right. At loving the boys right… I want to take my responsibility as your husband and our sons' father again."
He kissed her softly. "Give me another chance. Please… I'll even give you another child, raise him correctly with you, and be at your side. Of course, a girl is okay too."
Chi-Chi blushed and smiled shyly. "Goku, we don't have to go that far, though it sounds tempting. I'm just glad to have you near me. I don't want to ever be without you again. I want to take advantage of our time alone, if you know what I mean."
Goku nodded and smiled mischievously. He scooted closer to her and began to remove her nightgown, tugging at it and almost ripping it apart.
"Goku!"
Startled, Goku looked up at a surprised and still blushing Chi-Chi. "You don't have to rush it," she whispered. "Take it easy, and take your time with me." She sat up to his level and kissed him softly to prove this.
Goku smiled once she pulled away. He took her lovingly in his arms. "It feels good to feel your touch again."
Chi-Chi returned the embrace and rubbed Goku's back soothingly. "I know. We have lots to catch up on." Goku smirked. "Why do I like the sound of that?"
Chi-Chi sighed. "Goku…"
He gently broke the embrace and cupped Chi-Chi's face with his hands. He kissed her lightly, and then kissed her a few times, finally being able to do what he wanted to so long ago.
His kisses grew deeper and more passionate, and he felt his whole body reawaken when he felt Chi-Chi's hands on him, and heard her soft moans.
How he missed her so! Yes, they had a lot to catch up on.
Gently, Goku lay Chi-Chi down on the bed, and gazed at her softly, feeling all the love he had for her. Chi-Chi blushed, noting his deep thoughtfulness and concentration, and wrapped her arms around his neck as he was on his hands and knees above her. It was her turn to give him an affectionate gaze, and she gently pulled Goku down on the bed with her, catching his mouth with hers.
Goku closed his eyes, moaning softly as he felt every part of Chi-Chi's body pressed against his. He wanted to be familiar with his wife once again, and he felt so foolish for never wanting to be wished back.
Deeper, compassionate, harder, softer, gentle… Their hands and bodies were becoming close again. It felt as if they were discovering what was lost, and were revealing what was hidden.
Much time had not passed before they were unclothed, and they gazed in amazement at each other. And where did this desire come from? Slowly, memories were being refreshed as they were in a hurry to be together.
Passion consumed their minds as they sought to feel at peace…
Aki no kure At autumn dusk
Daisuki I still love you very much
Amae I still depend on you
To be continued….
Chapter 13: Contentedness and a Prophecy
A/N:
(1) Yes, no lemon… I have to keep it PG-13, ok? Dun kill mee! x_x
(2) I just couldn't keep torturing G/CC… Things are really ok between them now. So, put the torches away. ^^;;
(3) Amae is the Japanese phrase for expressing feelings of dependency toward another person. The Japanese highly value their relationships, even with society, so amae isn't an uncommon word to speak, and is usually used at certain times.
The relationship doesn't necessarily mean boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife. It could be parent/child or friend/friend.
I tried to put this into the content of this chapter. And yes, I made up that poem at the end. It's not haiku or anything special. I just felt it would fit in nicely. ^^