Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters or anything relating to Harry Potter
WE WERE YOUNGER THEN
Pictures Of Lily Make My Life So Wonderful
Tonight is our detention. Detention with Lily, it sounds so poetic. Sometimes Sirius really does help me out, although after this morning's little incident maybe she'll never some near our little group again. After our Herbology class she had stormed up to us, her gorgeous red hair flying out behind her, her angry face lit up like that of some divine Goddess. She cornered us on our way back through the cabbage patch.
"I can't believe you! What kind of perverted pleasure-"
"Hang on, Lils, I only-"
"Do not call me 'Lils', Black. Does it make you happy to humiliate other-" Sirius held up a hand and put on his most charming smile, which even I have to admit is very charming, for a twelve year old. I gave a snort of laughter. If only I had a smile like that…
"Miss Evans, I don't really have anything to say to you. I don't think anything I can say will have any effect on you." Evans had given him a disgusted glare from her compelling almond-shaped, poetry extracting green eyes, and flounced off in a towering rage, without even a second glance at me. I had sighed after her and Sirius had grinned after her, his face gleeful.
"I really think I deserve some praise here. Little Miss I've-never-had-a-detention Evans is finally thwarted," Sirius said,
"And you've managed to get her on the same detention as us," I said appreciatively.
"Pure genius, that's what it is," said Sirius.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now it is six thirty and Sirius, Remus, Peter and I are eating a hasty dinner of Shepard's pie, pumpkin and broccoli. Peter is whinging about hating broccoli, Sirius is industriously smearing pumpkin onto Evan's transfiguration book which she has left behind on the table, and Remus is down in the dumps because he will have to go and 'visit his ailing mother' again very soon. Kea Sarkie, a Gryffindor girl who is, like Sirius, a childhood friend of mine, is observing the pumpkin-smearing process and occasionally remarking on how mean it is, and what a loser Sirius is being. This is having next to no affect on Sirius. Kea is a small, spindly girl with masses of very fine white-blond hair and huge brown eyes. She wears her hair in two thick plaits and I have never seen it any different. Next to her sits Linus Curlewis. Linus Curlewis and I have never gotten on as fellow Gryffindors, because I am of the opinion that he should never have been made a Gryffindor in the first place. Of all the jumped up, snot-faced jerks I have met, he would have to top the pick. I mean, who ever heard of a Gryffindor setting himself above others just because he is a pure-blood? Or rubbing it in to anyone he can force to talk to him that he is o-so-much-richer than them? I mean, you don't see Sirius doing that kind of thing! Linus Curlewis is now trying and failing to gain Kea's attention. In fact, he once told me to keep my eyes of Kea, because she was his. I later asked Kea about this and she went to desperate lengths to convince me that it was not so.
Finally it is five to seven, and the four of us troop out into the entrance hall, leaving Kea alone with Curlewis.
"Serves her right for telling me off about the pumpkin," says Sirius, grinning.
"No one deserves that fate," I retorted,
"Yeah," says Remus tonelessly.
"Aww, c'mon Remi-Wemi," says Sirius, "Cheer up. Soon we'll be able to visit your ole' mum with you!"
"Soon?" I say, "I doubt it. We can't get into the library, and-"
"Don't be such a pessimist. We can look for books in the holidays. My parent's place is probably full of ways to perform illegal activities," says Sirius enthusiastically. "Yours might too, James."
"I don't think so," I say, and raise my eyebrows at him, "Why do you think yours will?" Then I remember the reputation of the Black family, and Sirius' parents attitudes. An unusually uncomfortable look flits across Sirius' face. His dark eyes look suddenly haunted, but the expression passes and he his smiling again.
"My parents – well, there're not exactly sticklers for what's right, are they?" his smile is somewhat grim,
"Anyway, what about your house, Remus, you're not a muggle born, are you?" Remus actually smiles, his honey-coloured eyes crinkle.
"Of course I'm not. D'you think my parents would send their dear little were-wolf off to a school they knew nothing about?" Sirius nods absently, as if the question had not been one he had been interested in, but something to change the subject. Before I can dwell to much on the great House of Black, we are in the entrance hall and Lily Evans is already there, waiting for Filch. Sirius makes a crack about her probably waiting there hours before so that she would not be late for detention, and she shoots him an angry glare. Remus, who has nothing against Evans and is even friends with her, goes over and begins to talk to her. I suddenly feel a stab of envy at the easy way he is making conversation with her. A nasty little voice in the back of my mind tells me that if I were a touch nicer to my school mates she might like me more. I suppose being friends with Sirius does not help. Shaking the thoughts from my mind, I turn to Sirius and Peter.
"So what do you think we're going to be doing in the forbidden forest?" asks Peter,
"I don't know, probably get fed to the giant spiders in there," says Sirius offhandedly.
"Spiders?" whimpers Peter.
"Yeah, spiders. Don't you know about the spiders, Peter? There're big and hairy and they have these massive teeth-"
"Ok, ok, Sirius, can't you just have a sensible conversation for once?" laughs Peter. Sirius gives him a dark look, completely straight-faced.
"Oh, no, I'm deadly serious, my father told me all about the spiders. Warned me never to go into the forest, he did, or else I'd-"
"Oh, shut-up, will you?" I snap irritably, "You're not being funny." Sirius, being one of those people who cannot laugh at themselves, or admit they are wrong, simply raises his eyebrow at me. I suppose I can't really complain, as I am once of those people too. But he doesn't have to raise his eyebrow. It is truly a gift, being able to raise one eyebrow, and it should not be used lightly. It is a gift that I will never have.
Snippets of Remus' and Evan's conversation drift over to us,
"You look pale, Remus, are you sick?" I hear her say. If feel a surge of anger, what right has she to ask how he is? She's not his friend, we are his friends!
"Oh, I'm alright, I just have a bit of a headache," Remus answers mildly, "Why are we standing over here away from them?" Can he be so thick that he doesn't realise why Lily has detention? Because of us, because of Sirius? Then I remember, he wasn't in Herbology today, Dumbledore had had him helping Hagrid the gamekeeper transfer some magical beasts for the Care of Magical Creatures Teacher. I hear Evans snap,
"Why don't you ask them? It's them who're staying away from me," I turn to look over at them. Remus is looking slightly miffed, and Lily is glaring at us.
"I didn't do anything! What are looking at me like that for?" I say indignantly.
"Oh yes? And standing there laughing is nothing, is it?" she retorts sharply. I am taken aback; people do not usually speak to me like this.
"Look, I-I'm sorry, I mean-"
"Why are you sorry? You haven't done anything! Shouldn't Black me the one who is sorry?" Why is she being like this? I ask myself, for I have hardly spoken to her since we came to the school. Is it just because I'm friends with Sirius? Sirius turns around to face Lily,
"That's the problem, there. Jamsie here is sorry, but I'm not. It'll do you good to have detention, anyway," he grins.
"What are you talking about. You are a-"
"You need the experience, Evans. You cannot go through life without a detention or two. So really, I'm doing you a favour. You'd never get a detention if left to yourself!" Sirius nods smugly. Lily, not being able to think of anything to say, simply makes a disgusted noise and goes to sit on the great staircase going up from the entrance hall.
"Well," says Sirius quietly, "I think I won that round."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Filch finally arrives and it is time for our detention. He limps into the entrance hall, his ugly face so sour that I know he is still fuming about the fact that he was not allowed to disembowel us, or at the very least get us expelled. The man had taken a dislike to the four of us from the start. He gives a derisive grunt and gestures for us to follow him.
"You all here?" he rumbles as we make our way outside, "I should have Potter, Black, Pettigrew, Lupin, and…Evans," he turns and leers at Lily. The air outside is quite warm, as it is nearly summer, and the holidays – and exams I remember belatedly. We walk quickly over the Hogwart's grounds towards Hagrid's hut. I realise that we are probably going into the forest with Hargrid, as Filch probably wouldn't risk his neck in there. This comes as a relief, for I like Hagrid. When we arrive at Hagrid's shambling wooden hut, Filch raps on the door and waits. A few moments later the door opens and light from Hargrid's fire streams out, along with Hagrid's head. People who have never met Hagrid would probably be quite scared by the appearance of Hagrid's head. He is a giant of a man, almost twice as tall and twice as wide as your average male, with wild, unruly dark hair and a huge beard. To be friends with Hagrid you have to look past the fearsome exterior into the twinkling black eyes and, generally, kind person that he is. Filch, obviously, can do no such thing.
"Hagrid, these are for detention. I'll pick 'em up at twelve." Without another word, Filch is away and tramping back to the castle. Hagrid stares after him,
"Strange bloke, that Filch," he says, scratching his head. "Now, you lot, you better be sensible t'night, we 'ave a Griffin to find!" He smiles, "I'll jus' go get my crossbow!"
We stare at his retreating back. A Griffin? From what I know about Griffins, I could safely say that any Griffin hiding in the Forbidden Forest would not want to be found. But what an adventure! I have never seen a Griffin before, maybe Hagrid means to tame it! I think excitedly, Maybe we could even ride it…
"Griffins," Sirius breathes, interrupting my thoughts, "This is going to be really cool,"
"Cool? Cool?" ejaculates Peter, "We are going into the monster-infested Forbidden Forest and you call it cool?"
"Monster-infested?" says Sirius mockingly, "Great word, Peter. Of course we'll be fine. Hagrid goes into the Forbidden forest all the time. Don't you Hagrid?" he notices Hagrid re-emerging from his hut, armed with his crossbow and pink umbrella.
"O' course I do," he replies, "But you lot 'ave to be careful. Stick close to me, an' yeh'll be fine." Lily, who has been looking uncomfortable ever since the griffin was mentioned, raises her hand timidly,
"Are you sure it's safe?" she asks, her small, usually confident face looking pale and fearful.
"O' course. As long as yer careful yeh'll 'ave 'an interestin' time. Now c'mon."
As we walk towards the dark eaves of the forest I can tell Sirius is itching to ask why Hagrid is bringing his umbrella, but is restraining himself. Remus is continually looking up the moonlit sky and shuddering quietly. I wonder what it is like to be afraid of the moon. Would it be a kind of natural instinct, a gut feeling he had no control of? Remus' edginess soon evaporates when we enter the forest. It is completely black in there, and if not for the light at the end of our wands, we would be in pitch darkness. We cannot see the sky, nor very far up into the trees. An eerie silence descends on us as we trudge through the forest in single file, staring at the ground so as to avoid tree-roots and stray stones on the path. Every now and then, there is the rustle of some small forest animal, but other than that complete silence but for the sound of our breathing, and our feet on the ground. Our breathing seems abnormally loud in here, and I feel myself unconsciously holding my breath for as long as possible. I try to force myself to breath evenly. I cannot help but look around nervously for the imaginary beasts that are rumoured to dwell in here. One or twice, the hair on the back of my neck rises for no reason at all, and I feel there is something watching, waiting for me to…
"Oh, somebody say something!" Lily's voice seems stark and ringing in the silence. I feel myself willing her to be silent. Hagrid smiles,
"You lot are usually more talkative," he says, "Don' tell me you're scare o' the dark?" We all glare at him except Lily, who is still looking scared. Sirius, who is walking after Hagrid, stops suddenly.
"Hagrid, how do you know where we're going?" he says somewhat aggressively. There is a slightly fearful note to his voice, and I suppress a smirk of satisfaction. So even the great Sirius can know fear? Hagrid is apparently similarly amused,
"Can't yeh see the feathers, lad?" he says, pointing to a large golden-brown feather lying next to the path. I give a start of surprise, I had been so caught up in my fear that I had failed to notice that Hagrid had been following a trail of Griffin feathers. We stomp on for a time in silence until Remus asks the question none of us has hitherto thought to ask,
"Why are we following a Griffin?" Hagrid turns around,
"Oh, sorry. Musta forgot to tell yer. The blighter's bin' stealin' my chickens," says Hagrid, as if this explains why we need to go out in the middle of the night to catch it.
"Stealing your chickens," repeats Sirius, "Right. So why do we have to follow it through the forbidden forest in the middle of the night, and why is it leaving a trail of feathers for us to follow?" Sirius' voice is sarcastic, but I know he is still fearful. Not as gung-ho as before, is he? The bastard…
"Because," says Hagrid condescendingly, "It's mating season for the Griffins, an' they shed their feathers t'line their nests. They're most active at night, bit like owls that way, y'know, an' to a trained eye like mine, yeh can see the trampled leaves an'-"
"Alright Hagrid, you've made your point," snaps Sirius irritably. Hagrid winks at us over his head and continues to walk forward. After what seems to be hours of solid marching, Hagrid stops us, a finger to his lips.
"Now," he whispers, "Yeh've gotta be very quiet. I can see the nest!" He creeps forward, surprisingly quietly for such a massive man. Stopping at the base of a very old tree, he looks up. I cannot see the point of looking up, as it is so dark we can hardly see a metre above our heads, but suddenly Hagrid lets out a low cawing noise. The sound is strange coming from his lips and for a moment I think there is some strange bird among us. Lily lets out a gasp of surprise and Peter glares at her. Peter is silently shaking with fear, and I can imagine what it must have cost him to even put one foot in the Forbidden Forest. I try to give him a reassuring smile, but find that even I cannot summon one up. Now Hagrid has stopped cawing and is calmly waiting for something to happen. After what seems like hours, but can only really be a few minutes, we hear a soft flapping above us. As it gets closer, Lily bites her lip and clings on to Remus' arm. I am thinking that she should be clinging on to my arm, and Sirius, who has been slowly regaining his enthusiasm, is looking expectantly up into the darkness.
Suddenly a golden-brown shape swoops down on us and everyone except Hagrid ducks for cover. The Griffin lands straight in front of Hagrid. It is a truly magnificent creature, its glossy golden feathers glint in the light of our wands. With an eagle-like head, and a lion's hindquarters, the Griffin stands nearly nine feet tall. It has a long, sharp beak and its front legs have cruel silver talons. Its great wings have gold, blue and green feathers, and it swishes its tail as its circles Hagrid and the tree. Despite its awkward shape, it moves with feline grace, and we watch it as if mesmerised. We stand completely still, staring at the beauty of it. The Griffin seems to emit a light of its own, and I feel suddenly safe in its presence. In fact, why where we afraid in the first place? There was no need…everything will always be well if the Griffin is here…it is so beautiful…I must stroke it…I feel a smile plaster itself onto my face before I can stop it, and I walk towards the Griffin. I can feel the others behind me, but that does not matter…Why was I so caught up in liking Lily anyway? She is nothing compared to the beauty of the Griffin!
I am almost upon it. It has turned around; its avian eyes are staring right into mine. Every will be all right, all is safe. I can stay with the Griffin forever. I reach out my hand…
"James! No!" a shout breaks through my blissful thoughts, and I turn angrily. Hagrid is grabbing my shoulder, pulling me back from the Griffin.
"Yeh don' go near her, James," says Hagrid urgently, "An' you others, get back!" I stumble dazedly back, crashing into Peter as I go. Away from the Griffin's stare I feel somehow empty. I can tell from the confused looks on the faces of the others that they feel the same. What is happening? Why can't I just go on…Hagrid is pulling something from a belt around his waist? He is coming towards us, but why? All I want is to be with the Griffin…why can't I be with the Griffin?
"Argh!" I cry out with shock, Hagrid has thrown ice-cold water all over my face.
"What'd you do that for?" I splutter. I am standing in the forest, the others are all around me, now dripping wet, and the Griffin has its back to me, it is preening its feathers. I feel confused, what have I been doing? I remember staring into the Griffin's eyes…
"I shoulda warned yeh," whispers Hagrid gruffly, "Griffins control powerful magic. I suppose yeh felt like yeh had to stay with her forever, did yeh?" I blink at him…yes, I did feel like I had to stay with it forever…maybe I still feel that way…
"Why can't it affect you?" asks Lily in a small voice.
"Ah, I'm jus' used to it," says Hagrid airily, "Now, I'll jus' go deal with her." With that Hagrid strides towards the beautiful creature, and stops just in front of it. With a small bow, he begins to speak,
"Now, Griffin," he begins, "I 'ave reason to believe that yeh've bin' stealin' my chickens," he stops. I suddenly feel irritated. How dare he behave so rudely towards the Griffin. If she needs food, let her have it! What right has Hagrid to…
"Why should I listen to the petty complaints of humans?" A booming, female voice seems to fill my head so that it is almost painful,
"Now, get away from my nest or I might decide I want to eat these egglings you bring so rudely into my demain!" I wince, getting the disturbing feeling that the Griffin's voice is actually in my head, for I cannot see her beak moving. I suddenly feel afraid of the Griffin, I no longer want to stay with it forever…
"Now look here!" says Hagrid fearlessly, "Yeh can't go around stealin' what ain't yours – ah, wait a second," Hagrid holds up his hand as the Griffin makes to charge at him,
"I've a proposal to make to yeh. Now I've met a few Griffins in my time, see, an' I know how hard it is fer yeh to-"
"You lie!" roars the Griffin, "No Griffin would associate with your kind!"
"I'm not lyin' ma'am, I'm simply statin' a fact. I know its hard fer yeh to keep your offspring alive, what with all the evil creatures in the forest an' the scant pickings an' so forth, so I'm preposin' that I, representing Hogwarts o' course, would give yeh a safe place t'live until yeh eggs are 'atched an' grown. That way yeh can leave them in safety while yeh hunt fer food elsewhere. In return fer not takin' our supplies o' course." Hagrid stands straight, looking the Griffin straight in the eye without any visible sign of fear. There is silence for many long moments.
"What makes you think I don't have a mate to send out looking for food?" the Griffin says at last, but I can tell she is thinking about what Hagrid has said.
"Because, you wouldn't have come anywhere near a human-place if you didn't have to," Hagrid replies simply. Even I can see he has got her there. The Griffin tilts her head to one side as if in thought, and finally speaks.
"It is true I do not have a mate, and maybe I am wrong in taking your food. I can be – overly proud." I gape at the Griffin. Is she being apologetic? "But on the other hand, how can I trust a human with my young?"
"You 'eard of Albus Dumbledore? It's his word they'll be safe," says Hagrid.
"I have indeed met with Dumbledore. If you can think of a way to transport my nest to your settlement, I will agree to your terms," says the Griffin crisply. Hagrid grins,
"That's where these 'egglings' come in."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is now the day after our detention, and I am even thinking twice about any more trouble making. No doubt my resolve will wear off within the hour, but you never can tell. Let's just say that five long hours of hauling Griffin eggs through the forbidden forest is not my cup of tea, not to mention the actual rebuilding of the nest on Hogwart's grounds. The she-Griffin presided over every twig, and would accept nothing but the softest leaves to bed her precious eggs which have no knowledge of their surroundings anyway. I cannot believe I wanted to stay with the thing forever! A fate worse than a thousand deaths!
Now I am in History of Magic class with my head on the desk, completely exhausted. Even Lily Evans cannot be bothered to take notes from our dreary ghost of a teacher, Professor Binns. Hardly anyone bothers to take notes from him at the best of times, actually. I sit quietly watching Sirius, who seems wholly unaffected by his late night; dip the tips of Kea's plaits into his ink bottle. Kea is sitting at the desk in front of him, obliviously gazing out the window. I feel that I should probably say something, as Kea's hair will probably now be stained, but I cannot summon up the energy. Even Remus can't be troubled to tell her. He is staring blankly at the Professor Binns, obviously taking in absolutely nothing. I really should put in a complaint about Professor Binns. There should be some rule against dead people teaching, I think as I feel my eyelids droop, it's really rather morbid…
~Elbereth-Gilthoniel~