* * * * * *
Prologue: Part One
* * * * * *
This story, apart from the prologue and epilogue, is divided into two parts. The first: So Far Away is from Mac's POV. The second, WIP title Dealing, is from Harm's POV and will be posted some time in the very, very, very distant future at my current rate of production. It is possible that this will become a trilogy . telling you any more now would wreck the story. Everyone said this was confusing, with the first two chapters using songs, so I deleted and re-wrote parts of chapters 1&2 to make just one introductory chapter and put this little briefing part at the beginning. For all you people who didn't "get it", this should make it easier to understand. I also fixed up a few factual errors. The only problem I'm having now is time differences. Would someone please explain American time zones to me? They make no sense! (Sought of like American Defence Force ranks.. But I'll shut up before I start ranting.)
* * * * * *
It was so long ago now
But I still lie awake at night
Thinking about how I left
On a one way flight
And left you there
But you didn't care
I was invisible
I was just a trend
But that's Ok
Cuz I was just your friend
Just another girl
In this big wide world
And you were just another guy
So why do I, why do I still cry?
I lay there in the dark, Angela lying asleep in my arms. "My baby angel," I whispered, "She's beautiful Harm. She's beautiful." A tear slid down my cheek and once again I found myself apologising to a man 100 miles away. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you. Would you have even cared? Was I always going to be just another girl to you?" I murmured, "Have you forgotten me?"
I still remember
When I was on my own
When I felt so alone
You bought me home
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
It was so crazy back then
But I still walk along that beach
Thinking about those stars
And you, so far out of reach
I left you there
But you didn't care
I was transparent
I was just a haze
But that's Ok
Cuz I was just a phase
Just another jewel
In your necklace of pearls
And you were just another guy
So why do I, why do I still cry?
I'd cried myself to sleep for so many nights after I left. So many stupid tears. "Don't cry over someone who won't cry over you," I kept telling myself. I don't think he ever would've cried over me, but I've always been doubtful. I've always told myself he never loved me, that I was just a friend to him. But lately I've realised I never gave him the chance to tell me I was wrong. I just believed myself, because as long as he didn't love me like I loved him, I didn't have to be afraid of what I felt, and I was so afraid of what I felt.
I still remember
When I was shrinking
When I felt like sinking
You lifted me up
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
I walked out of your life
You didn't see me go
And now and now
Now you'll never know
That I cared (I did)
I cared about you
More than you knew
I cared
I cared about you
It wouldn't mean a thing to you
But I loved you
I think I loved you
Then you were gone
I was crying then, lying there in the dark, sobbing and feeling stupid. I was the one that ran away, and I was the one who was most afraid of losing what we had. As long as I could blame it on someone else, I could pretend I was Ok, that I wasn't afraid or scared or remotely human. I've always been like that: justify all my feelings by making my problems someone else's fault. Sometimes I really hate myself for being such a hypocrite. I hate double standards and I especially hate my double standards.
"I'm sorry," I repeated softly, "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you." I don't really want to believe that, but I guess a part of me thinks it's true. I tell myself not to blame myself, but I know it's my fault. I tell myself not to live with regrets, but I regret leaving so much it hurts. And I tell myself to let go, but I know I never will.
I still remember
When I was crying
When I felt like dying
You saved my life
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
You walked out of my life
I didn't see you go
And now and now
Now you'll never know
That I loved you
Said I loved you
And it might not mean a thing to you
But I loved you
You saved my life
And baby I loved you
I still remember how I loved you
* * * * * *
Prologue: Part One
* * * * * *
This story, apart from the prologue and epilogue, is divided into two parts. The first: So Far Away is from Mac's POV. The second, WIP title Dealing, is from Harm's POV and will be posted some time in the very, very, very distant future at my current rate of production. It is possible that this will become a trilogy . telling you any more now would wreck the story. Everyone said this was confusing, with the first two chapters using songs, so I deleted and re-wrote parts of chapters 1&2 to make just one introductory chapter and put this little briefing part at the beginning. For all you people who didn't "get it", this should make it easier to understand. I also fixed up a few factual errors. The only problem I'm having now is time differences. Would someone please explain American time zones to me? They make no sense! (Sought of like American Defence Force ranks.. But I'll shut up before I start ranting.)
* * * * * *
It was so long ago now
But I still lie awake at night
Thinking about how I left
On a one way flight
And left you there
But you didn't care
I was invisible
I was just a trend
But that's Ok
Cuz I was just your friend
Just another girl
In this big wide world
And you were just another guy
So why do I, why do I still cry?
I lay there in the dark, Angela lying asleep in my arms. "My baby angel," I whispered, "She's beautiful Harm. She's beautiful." A tear slid down my cheek and once again I found myself apologising to a man 100 miles away. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you. Would you have even cared? Was I always going to be just another girl to you?" I murmured, "Have you forgotten me?"
I still remember
When I was on my own
When I felt so alone
You bought me home
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
It was so crazy back then
But I still walk along that beach
Thinking about those stars
And you, so far out of reach
I left you there
But you didn't care
I was transparent
I was just a haze
But that's Ok
Cuz I was just a phase
Just another jewel
In your necklace of pearls
And you were just another guy
So why do I, why do I still cry?
I'd cried myself to sleep for so many nights after I left. So many stupid tears. "Don't cry over someone who won't cry over you," I kept telling myself. I don't think he ever would've cried over me, but I've always been doubtful. I've always told myself he never loved me, that I was just a friend to him. But lately I've realised I never gave him the chance to tell me I was wrong. I just believed myself, because as long as he didn't love me like I loved him, I didn't have to be afraid of what I felt, and I was so afraid of what I felt.
I still remember
When I was shrinking
When I felt like sinking
You lifted me up
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
I walked out of your life
You didn't see me go
And now and now
Now you'll never know
That I cared (I did)
I cared about you
More than you knew
I cared
I cared about you
It wouldn't mean a thing to you
But I loved you
I think I loved you
Then you were gone
I was crying then, lying there in the dark, sobbing and feeling stupid. I was the one that ran away, and I was the one who was most afraid of losing what we had. As long as I could blame it on someone else, I could pretend I was Ok, that I wasn't afraid or scared or remotely human. I've always been like that: justify all my feelings by making my problems someone else's fault. Sometimes I really hate myself for being such a hypocrite. I hate double standards and I especially hate my double standards.
"I'm sorry," I repeated softly, "I'm sorry I wasn't good enough for you." I don't really want to believe that, but I guess a part of me thinks it's true. I tell myself not to blame myself, but I know it's my fault. I tell myself not to live with regrets, but I regret leaving so much it hurts. And I tell myself to let go, but I know I never will.
I still remember
When I was crying
When I felt like dying
You saved my life
I still remember
I still remember
I still remember you
You walked out of my life
I didn't see you go
And now and now
Now you'll never know
That I loved you
Said I loved you
And it might not mean a thing to you
But I loved you
You saved my life
And baby I loved you
I still remember how I loved you
* * * * * *